FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does'nt it just
Does'nt it just
Jump to: Newest in thread
Piss you off when someone posts a personal heartfelt question in the forum. Someone who is clearly suffering and maybe just needing advice or a glimmer of comfort and yet from so many they get glib,trite,indifferent and insensitive replies !!
Well it does us anyhow !! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
suppose it depends what it is.
things are posted over and over in the forums that some just get bored with typing the same response.
maybe there should be an introduction page, before you log into the forums, which points a person in the way of a search first, to see if the question has already been asked recently. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
not really, if i want them to see what i write i will reply privately to them
People will reply to a forum post as they see fit. i only hope that those who are uncaring never feel the need to fall on the support of the forums in the future. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Piss you off when someone posts a personal heartfelt question in the forum. Someone who is clearly suffering and maybe just needing advice or a glimmer of comfort and yet from so many they get glib,trite,indifferent and insensitive replies !!
Well it does us anyhow !!"
did you answer their post with help and support? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me..  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you want to open your heart you don't do it on a sex site, end of, go find a lonely hearts website or sympathy site, not a swingers site.
In my most humble and honest opinion of course  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me.. "
You maybe right in that the forums are not the best place to seek solace. But isnt that a bit like finding yourself in the gutter while all and sundry just walk past you in the street.Perhaps , bus so sad ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me..
You maybe right in that the forums are not the best place to seek solace. But isnt that a bit like finding yourself in the gutter while all and sundry just walk past you in the street.Perhaps , bus so sad ??"
everyone has friends or family that are reliable.
i would never post something serious on here, for proper advice.
bunch of pisstaking gits we are lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me..
You maybe right in that the forums are not the best place to seek solace. But isnt that a bit like finding yourself in the gutter while all and sundry just walk past you in the street.Perhaps , bus so sad ??"
did you offer the help and support that others didn't? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me..
You maybe right in that the forums are not the best place to seek solace. But isnt that a bit like finding yourself in the gutter while all and sundry just walk past you in the street.Perhaps , bus so sad ??
everyone has friends or family that are reliable.
i would never post something serious on here, for proper advice.
bunch of pisstaking gits we are lol"
not everyone does and not everyone wants to share/burden them with their problems if they do
maybe the anominity of the forums is what attracts people to share their tough times?
maybe they welcome the piss take at times to shake them selves up etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me..
You maybe right in that the forums are not the best place to seek solace. But isnt that a bit like finding yourself in the gutter while all and sundry just walk past you in the street.Perhaps , bus so sad ??"
Not in my opinion no, but im not one to pick up waifs n strays on the street, i guard my personal life vehemently and they thought of other people knowing my really personal business makes me cringe, its never pleasant when people break up, or something happens to someone that they have difficulty in coping with, i am the first there for my friends, day or night, no matter what , but not on an open swingers site forum, but like i said its just me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"not really once a thread goes up it doesnt belong to the OP.....seen lots much worse, some great..i just dont think the forums are the place to open your heart and bare your soul, but hey thats just me..
You maybe right in that the forums are not the best place to seek solace. But isnt that a bit like finding yourself in the gutter while all and sundry just walk past you in the street.Perhaps , bus so sad ??
did you offer the help and support that others didn't?"
thank you for replying privately.
I wasn't suggesting for a second that you didn't, it is just that people often suggest others don't welcome, help & support and I personally think we could be more welcoming but usually when you look at their previous postings, they themselves hardly ever welcome or offer advice.
thanks again for your reply |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Piss you off when someone posts a personal heartfelt question in the forum. Someone who is clearly suffering and maybe just needing advice or a glimmer of comfort and yet from so many they get glib,trite,indifferent and insensitive replies !!
"
Yes....
But thats just me... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Erm i have thought of some very funny things to type on those open heart forums but thought better of it. I wouldnt post something mean on a thread from someone who was genuinely in trouble, but by the same token, what do people expect? Its an open thread...... If you want sympathy talk to your friends not strangers on a forum....... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Blatent cut and paste, but a lovely read... 
Solitude
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Wolf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
a couple of months ago i put a very vulnerable thread up completly out of character. i was sober. i logged in after three weeks after regretting the thread. i am still overwhelemed by the support both in the forum and privatly. we all have a breaking point at sometime |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Erm i have thought of some very funny things to type on those open heart forums but thought better of it. I wouldnt post something mean on a thread from someone who was genuinely in trouble, but by the same token, what do people expect? Its an open thread...... If you want sympathy talk to your friends not strangers on a forum....... "
Sadly there are people who dont have that many 'friends' , or at least friends they can confide in and seek comfort in annonymity on sites like this ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Erm i have thought of some very funny things to type on those open heart forums but thought better of it. I wouldnt post something mean on a thread from someone who was genuinely in trouble, but by the same token, what do people expect? Its an open thread...... If you want sympathy talk to your friends not strangers on a forum....... "
Sadly there are people who dont have that many 'friends' , or at least friends they can confide in and seek comfort in annonymity on sites like this ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You'd be surprised the wealth of people out there that will give you good advice if ever you PM them. Whilst the forums are a great sounding post for all and a melee of tongue-in-cheek, many do hold serious conversations privately one to one. It's refreshing to see and hear about it too 
Some people give this advice professionally sometimes in other capacities - literally the full A-Z is on this site...
Wolf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You'd be surprised the wealth of people out there that will give you good advice if ever you PM them. Whilst the forums are a great sounding post for all and a melee of tongue-in-cheek, many do hold serious conversations privately one to one. It's refreshing to see and hear about it too
Some people give this advice professionally sometimes in other capacities - literally the full A-Z is on this site...
Wolf
"
Wise words !! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You'd be surprised the wealth of people out there that will give you good advice if ever you PM them. Whilst the forums are a great sounding post for all and a melee of tongue-in-cheek, many do hold serious conversations privately one to one. It's refreshing to see and hear about it too
Some people give this advice professionally sometimes in other capacities - literally the full A-Z is on this site...
Wolf
"
and sometimes, when you offer advice privately, you get abusive replies.
think i might leave it to the forums lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"You'd be surprised the wealth of people out there that will give you good advice if ever you PM them. Whilst the forums are a great sounding post for all and a melee of tongue-in-cheek, many do hold serious conversations privately one to one. It's refreshing to see and hear about it too
Some people give this advice professionally sometimes in other capacities - literally the full A-Z is on this site...
Wolf
"
Great post Wolf
OP, maybe the person who opened up may have found some sort of comfort for pouring their heart out to strangers.
It may be a swinging site, but I like to think most posters on here are in fact human.
I try not to give a lot about me away, but I have opened up on at least one post recently and was overwhelmed by the pm's I got from people I have never spoken to before.
Sometimes getting responses from strangers can help you in a time of need x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stranger or not, one can surely empathise and support a fellow human being who needs it...
Agree totally "
I can see the light (and take the pee) in most situations, I can argue for sure and can frown upon people and/or their actions, I can also emphasise and usually realise when best to play each card.
Some people may see a forum as an almost community whilst others see it as their stage, somewhere to get noticed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think that certain heartfelt threads are relevant. The falling in love whilst swinging especially and support when it goes wrong. Its something that does happen regularly. Most people are not robots ans feelings sometimes get in the way.
We habe had lots of personal stories in the forums, health issues, death issues, money, jobs, housing etc. Some of these people who write them are replied to with empathy and understanding, some people are not and have the glib and mickey taking replies. I don't know why it goes that way when the falling in love and relationship topics are actually more rele ant than others would be |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think that certain heartfelt threads are relevant. The falling in love whilst swinging especially and support when it goes wrong. Its something that does happen regularly. Most people are not robots ans feelings sometimes get in the way.
We habe had lots of personal stories in the forums, health issues, death issues, money, jobs, housing etc. Some of these people who write them are replied to with empathy and understanding, some people are not and have the glib and mickey taking replies. I don't know why it goes that way when the falling in love and relationship topics are actually more rele ant than others would be "
Often I find responses are dependant on who posts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Often I find responses are dependant on who posts. "
Which may have been the OPs point...
But why do certain people feel the need to be spiteful...?
If you have no empathy, why post...?
Why not leave other posters, who do care and who do try to pass on help and experience, to get on with it...?
"because they can..."
A puppy CAN shit on your carpet, but would you let it...;-) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is, its like evolution condensed into a thread, you get responses from 2012 people to dinnosaurs."
Pity evolution isnt always progressive though...;-) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A puppy CAN shit on your carpet, but would you let it...;-)
I don't think we're allowed to hit commenters on the nose with a rolled up newspaper though."
Shame... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think that certain heartfelt threads are relevant. The falling in love whilst swinging especially and support when it goes wrong. Its something that does happen regularly. Most people are not robots ans feelings sometimes get in the way.
We habe had lots of personal stories in the forums, health issues, death issues, money, jobs, housing etc. Some of these people who write them are replied to with empathy and understanding, some people are not and have the glib and mickey taking replies. I don't know why it goes that way when the falling in love and relationship topics are actually more rele ant than others would be "
Thats nice to know, i certainly have "screwed up" a few lovely meets, let myself become attached.Doubt it was ever love it was a definate like of who i knew.
But all you tend to be leaft with is a feeling of, " i did that all wrong" to the point its embarassing to even think about conveying it to others for fear of being labelled "clueless",,"does'nt understand it all" etc.
I've said it now though,,lol, god help me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
" I don't know why it goes that way when the falling in love and relationship topics are actually more rele ant than others would be "
I agree they often do. I think we need to consider if the advice is being asked for/given to a break up of a relationship that one person is on the site or if in fact, both are. If it is both, then it must always be fair to both. People will seldom have the whole story outlined and sides will be taken. People are inconsistent with their advice, grievances raise their heads and point scoring. If both are members of this site, who writes the ask for help can influence the replies and can unfairly paint one party as the wronged. One part of a partnership telling all, whilst the other remains silent will drive the direction of backlash..... and backlash there will be. It is a small community and people will name and shame from one side of a story...
3rd time lucky |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I don't know why it goes that way when the falling in love and relationship topics are actually more rele ant than others would be
I agree they often do. I think we need to consider if the advice is being asked for/given to a break up of a relationship that one person is on the site or if in fact, both are. If it is both, then it must always be fair to both. People will seldom have the whole story outlined and sides will be taken. People are inconsistent with their advice, grievances raise their heads and point scoring. If both are members of this site, who writes the ask for help can influence the replies and can unfairly paint one party as the wronged. One part of a partnership telling all, whilst the other remains silent will drive the direction of backlash..... and backlash there will be. It is a small community and people will name and shame from one side of a story...
3rd time lucky "
But worth the wait... As ever...;-) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
