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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I feel rubbish 
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu "
You want shite well ok you asked for it:- West Ham United!!!!!!!!
I’ve written it now and can’t take it back but I’m not sorry.
Get out if you can and get some fresh COVID free air.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu "
Did you hear about the huge fight in the chippy
The sausage got battered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There's a girl I've been perving for days
She's been the subject of many a gaze
I've fabbed all her pics
Examined her bits
You're delectable purple haze  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu "
Sending you all my positive energy and thoughts |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu
You want shite well ok you asked for it:- West Ham United!!!!!!!!
I’ve written it now and can’t take it back but I’m not sorry.
Get out if you can and get some fresh COVID free air.
T"
Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?
--
They only get hard when 10 of their mates are standing behind them. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu "
I don’t trust stairs....
They are always up to something! |
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"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu
You want shite well ok you asked for it:- West Ham United!!!!!!!!
I’ve written it now and can’t take it back but I’m not sorry.
Get out if you can and get some fresh COVID free air.
T"
Ahem... West Ham fan here   |
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"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu
You want shite well ok you asked for it:- West Ham United!!!!!!!!
I’ve written it now and can’t take it back but I’m not sorry.
Get out if you can and get some fresh COVID free air.
T
Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?
--
They only get hard when 10 of their mates are standing behind them."
Is it anti West Ham day today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was on holiday and became quite seriously ill.
Took a fever and was rushed to hospital, lots of tests and they couldn't find out what was wrong. I was given days to live, too ill to fly home so my family was rushed to my bedside.
I knew time was short so as a final request I wanted to be taken to the tavern by the beach to watch one final sunset.
Laying in bed, hearing the waves crashing, my family by my side, I had made peace with my maker and waited for the end. The landlord asked what was wrong and my family explained.
He disappeared and a few minutes later a barman came up with a stethoscope, listened to my chest, looked into my eyes then muttered something to the landlord.
The landlord came over and put a glass to my lips, giving me the foullest smelling concoction I had ever sniffed.
I sipped, not wanting my last moments on earth to be offending the hospitality of this man.
My temperature stabilised, my breathing eased and like a miracle I felt strong as an ox. The barman had a cure!
My family were ecstatic! My dad rushed to the Landlord, thanking him and asking how this could happen so unexpectedly?
Senor, he said, no one expects the Spanish Inn Physician. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So a man tells his wife he had to show his grey chest hair to get his pension, she replied, you should show them your dick, you would get a disability allowance
Hugs to you lu  |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu
You want shite well ok you asked for it:- West Ham United!!!!!!!!
I’ve written it now and can’t take it back but I’m not sorry.
Get out if you can and get some fresh COVID free air.
T
Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?
--
They only get hard when 10 of their mates are standing behind them.
Is it anti West Ham day today "
Isn't every day??? |
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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago
Brussels / Bristol |
A man walks in to a bar carrying a backpack, and asks for a beer. As the bartender asks for payment the guy says "I'll be honest with you, mate. I don't have any money on me, but if I show you something I guarantee will amaze you, can I have it for free?"
Impressed by the man's cheek, the bartender agrees. The man opens his backpack, and pulls out a replica grand piano. He places it on the bar, then calls into the bag. "Come on out and do your thing!"
A little man, about a foot tall and dressed in an immaculate evening suit, comes out of the backpack, sits at the piano and plays a perfect rendition of a Beethoven symphony. He stands, bows, and climbs back into the backpack.
The bartender is amazed. "That was incredible! Where did you find that little guy?"
The man takes out an empty bottle. "There's a genie in here who grants wishes. Tell you what, for another beer, I'll let you ask him for one. But you have to speak clearly - he's a little deaf." The bartender agrees, pulls another pint, and leans in and asks the genie his wish.
A few seconds later, the bar was full of tentacled sea creatures, flapping and gurgling. The bartender pulls one off his head, and yells at the man. "What the heck? I wanted a million QUID, not a million SQUID!"
The man looks at him and shrugs.
"Mate, do you really think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?" |
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"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu "
How about telling you that you are gorgeous and sexy? Would that do you any good? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When my husband told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...
I had to put my foot down
Feeling like that is shit, hope you feel better soon. Jus remember it won’t last and tomorrow is another day x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu "
Sending love and hugs. X |
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"I feel rubbish
I feel worthless, ugly, just totally shitty.
I won't go into the reasons why...
But can someone send a hug or tell me a really shit joke?
Lu
You want shite well ok you asked for it:- West Ham United!!!!!!!!
I’ve written it now and can’t take it back but I’m not sorry.
Get out if you can and get some fresh COVID free air.
T
Why doesn't viagra work on West Ham fans?
--
They only get hard when 10 of their mates are standing behind them.
Is it anti West Ham day today
Isn't every day??? "
Cheek  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I saw two seagulls having sex today. I didn’t know birds had sex.
Not that I didn’t know, I just had never thought about it before. I was shocked to look out the window during a meeting and seeing them going at it. |
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Hope you're feeling better Purple!
A man walks sheepishly into a bar and asks the barman if they sell shorts. "Yes, of course" says the barman. "Great", the man says, "Can I have a pair in large, I've shit mine!"
Well, you wanted a shit joke...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today is a much better day....so far
Thank you all for the love and shockingly bad jokes  "
Why do you feel better today? Write it down. All the good feelings. Save them for the next time you feel shit. No matter how small the positive feeling seems, it all adds up.
It probably won't help to make you feel better the next time you feel crap, but it gives hope. There's always a rainbow after a storm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today is a much better day....so far
Thank you all for the love and shockingly bad jokes
Why do you feel better today? Write it down. All the good feelings. Save them for the next time you feel shit. No matter how small the positive feeling seems, it all adds up.
It probably won't help to make you feel better the next time you feel crap, but it gives hope. There's always a rainbow after a storm. "
that's a good idea ... bookmark this thread to look back at |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today is a much better day....so far
Thank you all for the love and shockingly bad jokes
Why do you feel better today? Write it down. All the good feelings. Save them for the next time you feel shit. No matter how small the positive feeling seems, it all adds up.
It probably won't help to make you feel better the next time you feel crap, but it gives hope. There's always a rainbow after a storm. "
I have a day of tattooing ahead so won't have time to scratch my arse
Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Today is a much better day....so far
Thank you all for the love and shockingly bad jokes
Why do you feel better today? Write it down. All the good feelings. Save them for the next time you feel shit. No matter how small the positive feeling seems, it all adds up.
It probably won't help to make you feel better the next time you feel crap, but it gives hope. There's always a rainbow after a storm.
I have a day of tattooing ahead so won't have time to scratch my arse
Thank you "
Don't be scratching your arse with a tatt gun in your hand!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today is a much better day....so far
Thank you all for the love and shockingly bad jokes
Why do you feel better today? Write it down. All the good feelings. Save them for the next time you feel shit. No matter how small the positive feeling seems, it all adds up.
It probably won't help to make you feel better the next time you feel crap, but it gives hope. There's always a rainbow after a storm.
I have a day of tattooing ahead so won't have time to scratch my arse
Thank you
Don't be scratching your arse with a tatt gun in your hand! "
 nooooooo I don't wanna be doing that! |
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