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How much do you rely on instincts?
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You know, when I'm paper everything looks OK but there's just some niggling, nagging doubt that makes you think twice about someone.
I suspect this applies more to women as we do *tend* to be more instinctive and let's face it, are in a greater position of risk on here.
For me, I listen to that inner voice. I haven't always in the past and have pretty much always come a cropper eventually. So now I trust my gut and it's pretty much always right. Annoying, though, when I can't find anything wrong with someone and there's just that little voice telling me to back to fuck up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know, when I'm paper everything looks OK but there's just some niggling, nagging doubt that makes you think twice about someone.
I suspect this applies more to women as we do *tend* to be more instinctive and let's face it, are in a greater position of risk on here.
For me, I listen to that inner voice. I haven't always in the past and have pretty much always come a cropper eventually. So now I trust my gut and it's pretty much always right. Annoying, though, when I can't find anything wrong with someone and there's just that little voice telling me to back to fuck up."
I totally agree, I'm probably just starting to trust my gut instinct but it's rarely wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find instincts are usually right but sometimes I have made the mistake of ignoring them and gotten burnt in the process. Letting someone back into my life recently has been a perfect example of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's instincts
I think it's our brain taking stock of all of the information we have about someone and comparing it with previous experience and ideas
If something seems off, I'm unlikely to overlook it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My instincts are fairly good and I err on being overly cautious about everything anyway, as I have a habit of thinking worst case scenario about stuff and then working backwards from that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always rely on my instincts especially when it comes to people and I'm usually right. If something feels off, for whatever reason, it probably is so always listen to that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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massively - I always trust my gut and am generally there or thereabouts with first impressions (socially, on fab and in work if I'm recruiting etc).
I've probably missed out on some awesome
people in all walks of life, but I think I'll always be a bit guarded at first and trust my instincts. |
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I've found myself feeling a little like Chandler on Friends (90s reference!) when I'm dismissing people for miniscule reasons but really, they're the only things I can pinpoint and it's my gut having a feeling about something I cannot.
I remember once just not liking someone's smile. It felt so petty to not like someone because of that but it layer transpired that he was very aggressive and unpleasant and the bad smile was probably a cynical attempt at appearing warn and friendly. My gut was right. |
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At work I have great instincts, except for one time, and it nearly cost me very dearly.
In my relationships, I usually jump in like a big eager puppy, all floppy ears and paws, and I’m single, so that says it all!  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
I think instincts get far too much credit.
Half the time the correct choice was pretty fucking obvious in the first place.
Other times it can just be a coincidence that we credit to instinct.
And finally there are times when yes, our brain did the mental gymnastics and came back with "you know what, I'm not really sure about this, what do you think gut?" to which gut replies "this is giving me bad vibes, though it could just be gas. I say we get the fuck out of dodge, just to be sure". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know, when I'm paper everything looks OK but there's just some niggling, nagging doubt that makes you think twice about someone.
I suspect this applies more to women as we do *tend* to be more instinctive and let's face it, are in a greater position of risk on here.
For me, I listen to that inner voice. I haven't always in the past and have pretty much always come a cropper eventually. So now I trust my gut and it's pretty much always right. Annoying, though, when I can't find anything wrong with someone and there's just that little voice telling me to back to fuck up."
My inner voice can mislead me, but I trust pretty much my gut instinct. Which is way more innate I think. Maybe sometimes my gut instinct made me too wary at times, but I don’t mind that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've found myself feeling a little like Chandler on Friends (90s reference!) when I'm dismissing people for miniscule reasons but really, they're the only things I can pinpoint and it's my gut having a feeling about something I cannot.
I remember once just not liking someone's smile. It felt so petty to not like someone because of that but it layer transpired that he was very aggressive and unpleasant and the bad smile was probably a cynical attempt at appearing warn and friendly. My gut was right."
 |
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"I think instincts get far too much credit.
Half the time the correct choice was pretty fucking obvious in the first place.
Other times it can just be a coincidence that we credit to instinct.
And finally there are times when yes, our brain did the mental gymnastics and came back with "you know what, I'm not really sure about this, what do you think gut?" to which gut replies "this is giving me bad vibes, though it could just be gas. I say we get the fuck out of dodge, just to be sure". "
Yeah I agree with this more. I’ve always made good choices. All through life. I think I’m very very good at working people out and judging character quite early on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find instincts are usually right but sometimes I have made the mistake of ignoring them and gotten burnt in the process. Letting someone back into my life recently has been a perfect example of that. "
Yes, I get what you mean. I should trust my instincts more too. I've been burnt a few times over the past couple of years. I've become better at cutting the cord though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've lived my life following my intuition but my instincts have probably kept me alive!
(Instinct is the natural tendency that a person or animal has to behave or react in a particular way. Intuition is unexplained feelings you have that something is true even when you have no evidence or proof of it.)
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I do believe that I’m a very good judge of people. But then it appears that everyone else thinks that too, is this like having a good sense of humour, where everyone thinks that they’re the hilarious one?
Having a gut feeling and following it through is great but we never ever know if we were right or wrong on these things. We don’t get to see how things would have worked out if we’d stayed the course.
Gut instinct as another poster said, is your brain taking the information at hand and comparing it to previous experiences, if they’re close enough, it triggers unease if it was negative or calm if positive. The issue is though, that this also how anxiety works and a gut feeling can also be an anxious response to past experiences, not current ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How does that work in the club when you get a random fuck in the dark room??
I think women are just cautious more than guts feelings.
I have been in bdsm scene for a while and most decide to finally meet up saying they trusted their guts but are still scare the shit out of it.
There are lots of way to know about a person than have that magic tummy instinct. I am not saying it’s not real but could also lead you to miss a great opportunity and good time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do believe that I’m a very good judge of people. But then it appears that everyone else thinks that too, is this like having a good sense of humour, where everyone thinks that they’re the hilarious one?
Having a gut feeling and following it through is great but we never ever know if we were right or wrong on these things. We don’t get to see how things would have worked out if we’d stayed the course.
Gut instinct as another poster said, is your brain taking the information at hand and comparing it to previous experiences, if they’re close enough, it triggers unease if it was negative or calm if positive. The issue is though, that this also how anxiety works and a gut feeling can also be an anxious response to past experiences, not current ones. "
Research has shown that the more introverted the more you feel gut instinct ... likened to anxiety |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do believe that I’m a very good judge of people. But then it appears that everyone else thinks that too, is this like having a good sense of humour, where everyone thinks that they’re the hilarious one?
Having a gut feeling and following it through is great but we never ever know if we were right or wrong on these things. We don’t get to see how things would have worked out if we’d stayed the course.
Gut instinct as another poster said, is your brain taking the information at hand and comparing it to previous experiences, if they’re close enough, it triggers unease if it was negative or calm if positive. The issue is though, that this also how anxiety works and a gut feeling can also be an anxious response to past experiences, not current ones.
Research has shown that the more introverted the more you feel gut instinct ... likened to anxiety "
then paranoia |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
Gut instinct every time.
It's never let me down over 20 years on here and other sites. Never been stood up, never let me down even if I've travelled a couple of hours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do believe that I’m a very good judge of people. But then it appears that everyone else thinks that too, is this like having a good sense of humour, where everyone thinks that they’re the hilarious one?
Having a gut feeling and following it through is great but we never ever know if we were right or wrong on these things. We don’t get to see how things would have worked out if we’d stayed the course.
Gut instinct as another poster said, is your brain taking the information at hand and comparing it to previous experiences, if they’re close enough, it triggers unease if it was negative or calm if positive. The issue is though, that this also how anxiety works and a gut feeling can also be an anxious response to past experiences, not current ones. "
Fair point about anxiety about past experiences.  |
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I'm a great judge of character and haven't had any really bad meets as yet .
I can see the signs of interest and I can see the signs when someone is losing interest.
So yes I can tell Red flags a mile off which is why I tend to chat a fair bit before I consider meeting anyone and gauge their interest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With women I don’t think you have to, most women are open and honest and very much take me as you find me, this allows time to focus on other things which is handy, because relying on your instincts takes effort and quite frankly I’d rather do other things. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Another Time |
Seen the good and the the bad of the scene, worked with people most of my working life and very good judge of people, whether this is instinct, intuition or just experience. I can see through the facade or mask people wear, unfortunately this doesn't always make you popular  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seen the good and the the bad of the scene, worked with people most of my working life and very good judge of people, whether this is instinct, intuition or just experience. I can see through the facade or mask people wear, unfortunately this doesn't always make you popular "
The clique loves the Emperor's new clothes.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think instincts get far too much credit.
Half the time the correct choice was pretty fucking obvious in the first place.
Other times it can just be a coincidence that we credit to instinct.
And finally there are times when yes, our brain did the mental gymnastics and came back with "you know what, I'm not really sure about this, what do you think gut?" to which gut replies "this is giving me bad vibes, though it could just be gas. I say we get the fuck out of dodge, just to be sure". "
One study showed that prisoners who had a parole hearing late morning were less likely to be released than those who had theirs just after lunch. It seems that our brains aren't always that good at working out what is a negative internal issue (low blood sugar, hormone levels etc) and what are genuine concerns. Guts aren't great for thinking with.
Its funny, threads like these are always full of people who believe they're good judges of character but then you'll get other threads where most people assure you they always see the good in others and then other threads where they tell you about how they suffered at the hands of a narcissist ...
Me? I'm shit at judging people. I tend to default to behaving as if all people are inherently nice whilst ignoring the cognitive dissonance with my belief that all people are actually selfish arseholes (don't worry, I include myself in that belief)
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think instincts get far too much credit.
Half the time the correct choice was pretty fucking obvious in the first place.
Other times it can just be a coincidence that we credit to instinct.
And finally there are times when yes, our brain did the mental gymnastics and came back with "you know what, I'm not really sure about this, what do you think gut?" to which gut replies "this is giving me bad vibes, though it could just be gas. I say we get the fuck out of dodge, just to be sure".
One study showed that prisoners who had a parole hearing late morning were less likely to be released than those who had theirs just after lunch. It seems that our brains aren't always that good at working out what is a negative internal issue (low blood sugar, hormone levels etc) and what are genuine concerns. Guts aren't great for thinking with.
Its funny, threads like these are always full of people who believe they're good judges of character but then you'll get other threads where most people assure you they always see the good in others and then other threads where they tell you about how they suffered at the hands of a narcissist ...
Me? I'm shit at judging people. I tend to default to behaving as if all people are inherently nice whilst ignoring the cognitive dissonance with my belief that all people are actually selfish arseholes (don't worry, I include myself in that belief)
Mr"
Totally agree with Mr ^^^ here! I'm hoping all those above that inherently trust their gut feelings above, that they claim never to be wrong, have never had a bad relationship or marriage!?! Or ever got life seriously wrong!?!
What people say on one thread often contradicts what they say on a different thread!?! |
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When dressed and out in public I rely on my instincts to suss out most situations. I haven’t found myself in a position that I can’t wriggle out of or politely remove myself away from, yet.
Hopefully my instincts won’t let me down in the future |
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