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As you grow older...
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By *k82Man
over a year ago
Walthamstow |
"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
Absolutely, I believe its all to do with the experiences you pick up along the way that would mould you to becoming who you are and what you can add to your ever growing personality.
Great topic for today  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it's definitely something that comes with age. I spent too many years caring about what others thought, letting nasty comments affect my self esteem and obsessing over things I cannot change.
I have a lot of flaws and hang ups still but you know what I'm finally at a point in my life where I can accept them. I am who I am, take it or leave it |
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"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
Yes, I truly wish I have the confidence I have now as a teenager. What I used to take personally I can now just ignore and move on.
I’d be more worried about someone who loses confidence in themselves, the older they get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you become more accepting of who you are and worry less about what others think of you... this leads to inner confidence which seems to shine through your skin
As I've got older I've definitely become more confident + independent and don't need validation from others in the same way i did when i was younger
I'm comfortable in my skin.. Took me a while  |
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I think it's more I'm done with criticising myself to the nth degree. It's a waste of my time and energy. Life is short and precious to worry about if I'm thin enough or if I look good for my age. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
A different kind of confidence I'd say:
In my twenties and thirties I relied on looks more than personality - nowadays it is a bit the other way round plus I really do not worry anymore whether somebody likes or fancies me - there will always be somebody who does (might just have to invest in a a bottle of wine beforehand!)  |
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"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
can only speak for myself here, but yes, for sure!
Also having a wonderful Husband who makes you feel gorgeous really helps x |
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"I think it's more I'm done with criticising myself to the nth degree. It's a waste of my time and energy. Life is short and precious to worry about if I'm thin enough or if I look good for my age. "
Nothing wrong with how you look f,and you’re a great woman inside too |
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Once you get the mortgage paid off and the daughter no longer needing the bank of dad the worries if life disappear and the confidence returns, by this time I am in my mid 50s and enjoying life to the full.
The confidence remains throughout my 60s and into my early 70s but by the late 70s it all changes with the onset of Arthritis and a previously unknown Heart problem which took me into the Covid issue.
By now my motto of Adventure before Dementia has gone out of the window, lockdowns are in place and my confidence has long gone,
By now I am in my 80s and a prime candidate for Covid, but by sticking by the rules and keeping my head below the parapet I have come through unscathed, I have now had my two jabs and slowly my confidence is returning. I still have the craving for female company but at the present time I have nothing to offer, this hopefully will change as an operation on my arthritis riddled knees is in the pipeline, along with a pacemaker to assist my heart.
To all you people out there who are in their 40s 50s and 60s dont give up, life has still got a lot to give. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
Yes I know I have you cant be vain when you have a face like shammy leather lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had tons of confidence in my younger years, I went into the military at 17. After basic training, I went into a school that was notoriously gruelling. Back then, we were told out of 200, only 2-4 ever make it! I was one of two who made it. Talk about confidence, we were the few! Years later, my buddy went MIA, my confidence shattered; we weren’t invincible. It is hard to deal with.
Now, I am 60, I have seen and been through a lot, and know I can handle anything. I answer to no one, don’t owe anyone anything and pre-covid, traveled a lot. I used to like knowing that people seen me as dangerous, now I fear someone seeing me that way. I am still in good shape, but no longer have that edge anymore, age comes to is all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I just became less bothered about other people's opinion on how I looked... Although, I have never been that worried about that, with how I dress, have my hair etc... Now my body shape is included too... If I feel I look good then, I do |
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Not for me, my confidence has been the same throughout since I was 18 but that was formed by my childhood and what I had to endure at the hands of my abuser, so it's not a natural learned behaviour as such, it's one I've made to escape my situation |
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I guess so.. I would never have worn shorts before now I don't give a FF what anybody thinks. Been to chemist today, served by regular lovely girl and I was wearing a pair of light grey cotton cycle shorts with no pants underneath, vest and trainers. Am I bothered that she could see the outline of my cock through the thin material... No. Am I bothered that the two girls I passed in the way back to my car copped an eyeful too ... Not in the slightest |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think it can work both ways - life's experiences can of course breed a level of comfort and confidence in yourself, but the flip side of that is they can also grind you down and have the opposite effect.
I was a lot more "happy go lucky" in my younger years and possibly happier for it - nowadays I'm a lot more grounded and tend to "think" a lot more about stuff as a result of various factors that have happened along the way - I wouldn't say I'm necessarily unhappy, but am I as happy and confident as I was back then? I'm not so sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you become more accepting of who you are and worry less about what others think of you... this leads to inner confidence which seems to shine through your skin
As I've got older I've definitely become more confident + independent and don't need validation from others in the same way i did when i was younger
I'm comfortable in my skin.. Took me a while "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say I became more accepting. I realise that people are not like me.
I learnt that I may not like everyone I meet, but when I meet them I will get along. If I don't like them I will avoid meeting them again.
I also learnt that none can read your mind, no matter what your facial expression is.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not body confident at all but I know who I am and what I want in life.
Won't put up with drama and if someone doesn't like me or what I'm doing, then so be it. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
As I got older I realised I never cared what others thought of me or tried to fit in.
The freedom that comes with not giving a fuck can be liberating.
I am happy with my life, and while I could do “more” or be “better”, I cant be fucked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I will ever be confident even if I lost some weight, it has got easier over the years. I know a lot of it is to do with my abusive ex husband and other things, I'm just lucky to have a wonderful hubby now.  |
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I'm currently finding the opposite to most people above, in that the older I get the less idea I have of who I am or what I want. There's an almost constant, nagging sense of being adrift and/or directionless
Which isn't a good way to be, and hopefully I'll be able to anchor myself again before too much longer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
Id say it's definitely a trend yes. It's also practised in something called stoic philosophy so you don't have to wait to grow older to become more confident or comfortable in your own skin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
I really hope so! I'm 30 soon and I hope it's my time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say more accepting of our bodies and less fucks given what other people think. I'm not sure confidence improves with age. My confidence grows when I start remembering my capabilities. But with age we forget things and that affects your confidence!! 
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m 48 shy as fuck but fully naked on my profile pic. Just past caring anymore whether someone likes me and my body or not. Too many health issues over the years I should be put down or sent to knackered yard |
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"100%. I recently saw this quote by Amy Poehler:
“It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for".
I'm giving zero fucks these days.
Don’t I know it! "
Sorry not sorry |
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I completely forgot about this thread! Good to see it rolling along
Interesting mix of responses. Is there a bit of a male/female divide here? On skim reading perhaps women feel this more and men the other way round? Sweeping generalisation, I know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I've got older I know who I am. A lot depends on life experience and the people you have around you. I've got a dad bod but happy with it as I could never make certain food sacrifices!! It's definitely a mind set. As you get older different things become more important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... do you become more comfortable in your own skin? Does this lead to more confidence?
Mrs TMN x"
If you are comfortable in your own skin, outwardly this can emit an air if confidence. I used to then I hit the menopause and my body has gone out of control and not in a good way. It's getting me down big time. Aaaargh!!! But I try to keep on the bright side of life and not be too grumpy   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go through phases of feeling happy in my skin and times when I just hate how I look.
Confidence up and down as well, not sure it’s got better as I’ve gotten older.
Bit different for me with losing my husband, the more time passes, the more my confidence drops.
It’s hard to think that anybody wants you.
Bit deep for a Tuesday! Hey ho x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go through phases of feeling happy in my skin and times when I just hate how I look.
Confidence up and down as well, not sure it’s got better as I’ve gotten older.
Bit different for me with losing my husband, the more time passes, the more my confidence drops.
It’s hard to think that anybody wants you.
Bit deep for a Tuesday! Hey ho x "
I read recently about our feelings playing with us and making us believe they are facts.. its called a cognitive distortion. What an awful name, but hey.. I hope you remember that he wanted you to spend life with and he wanted you to be the mother of his kids. Can't be more wanted than this.. I think? And whatever happens after, it's 'just' a question of your heart playing make believe game with your brain. Easier to imagine than make it happen, I know. My dear friend, your soul is as delightful as the body you carry and you are and will be wanted for both. X  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go through phases of feeling happy in my skin and times when I just hate how I look.
Confidence up and down as well, not sure it’s got better as I’ve gotten older.
Bit different for me with losing my husband, the more time passes, the more my confidence drops.
It’s hard to think that anybody wants you.
Bit deep for a Tuesday! Hey ho x
I read recently about our feelings playing with us and making us believe they are facts.. its called a cognitive distortion. What an awful name, but hey.. I hope you remember that he wanted you to spend life with and he wanted you to be the mother of his kids. Can't be more wanted than this.. I think? And whatever happens after, it's 'just' a question of your heart playing make believe game with your brain. Easier to imagine than make it happen, I know. My dear friend, your soul is as delightful as the body you carry and you are and will be wanted for both. X "
You are such a dear friend, who has a way with words and the kindest soul.
Thank you beautiful, reading that made me cry. X |
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