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I'm going shopping for condoms and biscuits
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"Do you want anything?" Don't get the two mixed up and cough on a garibaldi flavoured condom. lol. x | |||
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"One large melon, im going to need that later "Lol pervert!!! | |||
"Which shop are you going to, Jim?" .Tesco | |||
"Biscuits " What sort of biscuits would you like? | |||
"Jaffa Cakes please." *adds Jaffa Cakes to the shopping list* | |||
"How confident you feel in sanitary product alley? "Just tip a jar of Dolmio on the floor and run away! | |||
"I’ll take some bourbon creams, you can keep the condoms "Excellent choice, madam. | |||
"Magnum ice cream (specifically the almond one or the ruby cocoa)
Thank you!"I wasn't going to take a cool bag, but for you I will. | |||
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"Yes please Jim, I'd like some strawberries and cream. Thanks hun. "Strawberries and cream are a combination dream. | |||
"Did you check if they had the extra small condoms otherwise you will just back with biscuits? " | |||
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"How confident you feel in sanitary product alley? "I'm a confident man. I can buy sanitary products. | |||
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"Hope your writing a list " I'm checking it twice.  | |||
"Jammy Dodgers and a pack Stella please "Good biscuits. | |||
"Do you want anything?" Seedy bread | |||
"Your mum" *adds your mum to the shopping list* | |||
"Do you want anything? Seedy bread " I can do seedy. | |||
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"Pineapples please " How many pineapples? I've got a lot of shopping to carry. And I hate waste. | |||
"Do you want anything? Seedy bread I can do seedy." Excellent.. Thank you. | |||
"Cornetto" Just one Cornetto. | |||
"Some lube and barcardi x "Party time! | |||
"Iced coffee please sweetheart x" Cool beans. x | |||
"I'd like lunch please. No wheat though." You'll have to be more specific. | |||
"Cornetto Just one Cornetto." Give it to me. My film reference has gone unnoticed? | |||
"Did you check if they had the extra small condoms otherwise you will just back with biscuits? " I'll ask an assistant. | |||
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"Fresh bread please. Got a post-headache Marmite on toast craving" Fresh bread, got it. | |||
"Biscuits What sort of biscuits would you like?" The | |||
"A packet of Lotus Biscoff would be nice" I think I've got Lotus Biscoff's second album. | |||
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"Biscuits What sort of biscuits would you like? The" I'll get you some. | |||
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"Biscuits What sort of biscuits would you like? The I'll get you some." Xxx love you | |||
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"Which shop are you going to, Jim?" I'll try Bodycare first, I might have to go to Superdrug. | |||
"Can I have some pistachio ice cream please x" Yeah you can! x | |||
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"One large melon, im going to need that later "Kylie has already said it. | |||
"If you haven't gone yet i'd like ..... 1. One bag of cheese and onion (large) 2. One bottle of sparkling water( large) 3. One string bag of garlic ( very fresh ) 4. One pack of boil in the bag buckwheat 5. One jar of salatka 6. 8 large white deli mission wraps .... thanks Love you. x " Got it. x | |||
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"2 crates of carling black label, 1 bottle of Morgans spiced rum, (Bag of ice) Coke-a-cola (not Pepsi), 1 pack of Raws, 1 bottle of white wine (for the person who's on a diet), 1 bottle of Jack's (to end the night !), 1 bar of Cadbury oreo, 4 bags of (£) Ringos (the big bags) 2 bags of cool doritos Emmental cheese, Peppers, Onion (red), Coleslaw, 40 cigarette 2 lighters 1 2ltr bottle of milk.... Oh,and a bottle of water for my vegan friend "Granny wants more than water. | |||
"Chunky KitKat please, pack of 4 "You like Chunky KitKats. | |||
"Do you want anything?" .who you shagging? | |||
"Cornetto Just one Cornetto. Give it to me. My film reference has gone unnoticed?" By me, yes. | |||
"Do you want anything?.who you shagging?" Wouldn't you like to know. | |||
"How confident you feel in sanitary product alley?
Just tip a jar of Dolmio on the floor and run away!"I'd never purposely make a mess in a shop. | |||
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"Do you want anything?" Don’t mix them up And what you having first | |||
"I forgot ...... 1 cock LARGE" You got that cock in, in time. | |||
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"Do you want anything? Don’t mix them up And what you having first "I could always pull out and spaff on the biscuits. Condoms. Biscuits for energy, more condoms. | |||
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"Double raspberry magnum of you're offering x" You're in luck, I'm already buying a Magnum. x | |||
"A partridge in a pear tree please"   | |||
"Double raspberry magnum of you're offering x You're in luck, I'm already buying a Magnum. x" Ooo I'll have a lick x | |||
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"Digestive please " Just the one?! | |||
"Chocolate please. One of them days. Mrs x" Chocolate is on the way. x | |||
"Do they sell boobs? "I'm not going to the knocking shop. | |||
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"Have you been yet?" He's just come! | |||
"Double raspberry magnum of you're offering x You're in luck, I'm already buying a Magnum. x" Ooooooo a white chocolate one, please Jim | |||
"Jaffa Cakes please." Jim said biscuits.
E | |||
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"Jaffa Cakes please. Jim said biscuits.
E"FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!  | |||
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"Do you want anything?" Ribbed , for her pleasure please, but not chocolate. I’m ok for condoms  | |||
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"Jaffa Cakes please. Jim said biscuits.
E
FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! "I'll win.
I'm good at fighting dirty.
E
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"Can I have some extra large condiments please " Can I have some Coca Cola to go with that Rum!!  | |||
"Jaffa Cakes please. Jim said biscuits.
E
FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!
I'll win.
I'm good at fighting dirty.
E
"*getting dirty. My bad.....
E | |||
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"Have you been yet? He's just come! "On a biscuit apparently  | |||
"Have you been yet? He's just come!
On a biscuit apparently "It's a custard cream, silly  | |||
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"Some tangerines, duck tape and a pack of zip ties please " Just a normal evening to be had in Casa Mystique then | |||
"Some tangerines, duck tape and a pack of zip ties please Just a normal evening to be had in Casa Mystique then "Cause I’m worth it | |||
"Some tangerines, duck tape and a pack of zip ties please Just a normal evening to be had in Casa Mystique then
Cause I’m worth it "Always | |||
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"I'd like lunch please. No wheat though. You'll have to be more specific." Specifically, anything without wheat in. | |||
"I'll take you to the condom shop. I'll let you lick the lollipop."
You ain't never heard a sound like this before cause I ain't never slap a condom round like this before
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