FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I’d ruin you….
I’d ruin you….
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It always makes me roll my eyes honestly 
Me too, unless it’s from someone specific "
It would get an eye roll from me whoever said it I think. I don't actually want to be sore and hurting after sex... Exhausted? Yes. Aching from the range of positions used? Yes. But actually ruined and hurting? No thanks. |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I have no idea , I personally try to keep my litigious activity to a minimum. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I have no idea , I personally try to keep my litigious activity to a minimum. "
Sounds sensible |
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By *lappyMan
over a year ago
Manchester |
sorry you have been subjected to the ( lack of ) wisdom from Neanderthal man, hope you ( and all other female site users ) realise that not all make users are like this .. hope you have a great weekend x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I'll have sex with you for 1 minute and leave you disappointed if you'd prefer that?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer a lady to be exhausted rather than ruined
Exactly, when you just look at each other after like wowwww that was awesome  "
Shit. I don't remember that part  |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I'm intrigued... What is it? Is it just short hand lazy speak for "I will show you a really good time?" or are there boxes to tick that constitute ruining someone? it always sounds a bit dark to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I'm intrigued... What is it? Is it just short hand lazy speak for "I will show you a really good time?" or are there boxes to tick that constitute ruining someone? it always sounds a bit dark to me. "
It comes across as more bdsm related to me, but I could be wrong.
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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"It would get an eye roll from me whoever said it I think. I don't actually want to be sore and hurting after sex... Exhausted? Yes. Aching from the range of positions used? Yes. But actually ruined and hurting? No thanks."
Exactly this. To me it also seems immature/inexperienced. Like a phrase someone has picked up watching porn without understanding what it means.
It's always been the end of the conversation for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I often wonder about this too. Just before I delete said messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I often wonder about this too. Just before I delete said messages."
Ha! Yep |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I'm intrigued... What is it? Is it just short hand lazy speak for "I will show you a really good time?" or are there boxes to tick that constitute ruining someone? it always sounds a bit dark to me.
It comes across as more bdsm related to me, but I could be wrong.
"
Left in the oven too long after all the pounding, stretching and filling perhaps? |
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No idea OP, never having used the term myself.
I can only surmise the male is boasting in advance of their sexual prowess, and I suppose in some sense this is akin to a Silverback gorilla beating its chest as a form of dominance.
Considering a lot of men I have met have ridiculously fragile egos, I think this utterance is more to self-massage their own feelings of inadequacy.
It's a red flag saying for me.
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I think the phrase 'ruin you' was originally meant in the way that "I'll ruin you so no other man can satisfy you" but now it's in the same basket as 'destroy that pussy' et al. These rough sex videos have ruined a whole generation of men 
Frank |
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"I think the phrase 'ruin you' was originally meant in the way that "I'll ruin you so no other man can satisfy you" but now it's in the same basket as 'destroy that pussy' et al. These rough sex videos have ruined a whole generation of men
Frank"
See what you did there? Very clever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It always makes me roll my eyes honestly
Me too, unless it’s from someone specific "
Same ! Someone in particular, I love to hear it 
First message? I don't think so sunshine  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It always makes me roll my eyes honestly
Me too, unless it’s from someone specific
Same ! Someone in particular, I love to hear it
First message? I don't think so sunshine "
Haha! From that particular persons, hell yes! I guess it is because your experience/imagination fills in the blanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
They should lower expectations and say I’ll leave you mildly disappointed, then anything better than that is a bonus, the key is always to set the bar low, then the pressures off and everyone can relax. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But the serious answer is they’re thick as fuck and don’t know how to talk to women, they have zero self awareness and are probably still baffled that line doesn’t get the desired results, at least it saved you time finding out they’re a massive bellend before it went any further, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But the serious answer is they’re thick as fuck and don’t know how to talk to women, they have zero self awareness and are probably still baffled that line doesn’t get the desired results, at least it saved you time finding out they’re a massive bellend before it went any further, "
Very true |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
Because it works in porn, and porn teaches you everything you need to know about sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That and when they go into explicit details about what they’re going to do.
This always makes me cringe if I’m honest.
Lily "
Me too. Straight delete |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
Because it works in porn, and porn teaches you everything you need to know about sex."
Sadly, this appears to be the thinking |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"They should lower expectations and say I’ll leave you mildly disappointed, then anything better than that is a bonus, the key is always to set the bar low, then the pressures off and everyone can relax. "
This always works for me  |
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I read too many Georgian and Victorian novels, so I always imagine my ruination to involve rumours spreading that I've been seen talking to the grocer's boy without a footman present, or that my indiscreet letters to the local rake have been made public knowledge.
I certainly don't think of it as something sexy. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I read too many Georgian and Victorian novels, so I always imagine my ruination to involve rumours spreading that I've been seen talking to the grocer's boy without a footman present, or that my indiscreet letters to the local rake have been made public knowledge.
I certainly don't think of it as something sexy."
Harlot! |
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"I read too many Georgian and Victorian novels, so I always imagine my ruination to involve rumours spreading that I've been seen talking to the grocer's boy without a footman present, or that my indiscreet letters to the local rake have been made public knowledge.
I certainly don't think of it as something sexy.
Harlot!"
*drops needlework in shock* |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I read too many Georgian and Victorian novels, so I always imagine my ruination to involve rumours spreading that I've been seen talking to the grocer's boy without a footman present, or that my indiscreet letters to the local rake have been made public knowledge.
I certainly don't think of it as something sexy.
Harlot!
*drops needlework in shock*"
*readies a scarlet letter* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Any sort of message with this in would get instantly deleted and the person blocked, same with slut or slag or any other derogatory comments, we avoid any profiles like this completely.. whats wrong with just being nice! |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I’ve never used that term, or similar, in any message, to established friends or new. I always let the woman ‘open the door’ to the sexy talk, and what happens from there, is between us….. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I’ve never used that term, or similar, in any message, to established friends or new. I always let the woman ‘open the door’ to the sexy talk, and what happens from there, is between us….. x"
Which is the right approach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?"
Can't help you there. I simply have no idea why so many blokes' idea of sexy chat is metaphoric with violence (destroy that ass, pound that pussy, I'd smash that etc etc). My mind must be wired different. |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I’ve never used that term, or similar, in any message, to established friends or new. I always let the woman ‘open the door’ to the sexy talk, and what happens from there, is between us….. x
Which is the right approach "
I’ve had a modicum of success using this approach  |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I'm honestly not sure what they think it will achive, personally I prefer a little disscusions and getting to know someone first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it makes you feel better OP, I've had women say this to me. "
Me too, but the context was she'd ruin me for anyone else (and did for a while, she was a tremendous shag and I couldn't get as excited about anybody else for a good while after we split up, but hey I found my equilibrium again eventually). |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I very much doubt I could ruin you so suggesting it would be futile; as for messaging suggesting what i would do to anyone surely that is NOT an opening gambit.
Or am i looking at it because no one ever sends me messages like that ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it makes you feel better OP, I've had women say this to me.
How does that feel, from a male perspective? "
It might be meant as showing confidence or they're really into you, but it comes off more as arrogance. |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
Can't help you there. I simply have no idea why so many blokes' idea of sexy chat is metaphoric with violence (destroy that ass, pound that pussy, I'd smash that etc etc). My mind must be wired different. "
But by the pure volume of profiles and fora that use that type of language..... Makes me wonder whether it works or resonates with some folks... Not judging... But interested to know if it works for anyone and if so why the threat of physical harm is a thing... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
Can't help you there. I simply have no idea why so many blokes' idea of sexy chat is metaphoric with violence (destroy that ass, pound that pussy, I'd smash that etc etc). My mind must be wired different.
But by the pure volume of profiles and fora that use that type of language..... Makes me wonder whether it works or resonates with some folks... Not judging... But interested to know if it works for anyone and if so why the threat of physical harm is a thing... "
I’m sure, like anything it occasionally works, and if my Dom says it to me, then hell yeah, but that’s because I know him, and trust him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But by the pure volume of profiles and fora that use that type of language..... Makes me wonder whether it works or resonates with some folks... Not judging... But interested to know if it works for anyone and if so why the threat of physical harm is a thing... "
I honestly think it reflects how much men fear women (generalising wildly). What do you do when you feel fear? Go into fight or flight mode, act aggressive, threaten.
There again, I'm sure many of us have opened a conversation with something like "I think you're devastatingly attractive and sexy and I'd love to engage in mutually satisfying consensual kinky acts of love with you" and got nowhere either
Women just have better bullshit filters |
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Surprisingly, it may work on some women. I used to work with a guy who'd ask women, "Do you take it up your arse?" after the first drink and his success rate was ~50%. Not sure if they actually did have anal sex, but I did see him leave with the pub with a lady on his shoulder enough times to simply accept that some women don't mind such lines.
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"Surprisingly, it may work on some women. I used to work with a guy who'd ask women, "Do you take it up your arse?" after the first drink and his success rate was ~50%. Not sure if they actually did have anal sex, but I did see him leave with the pub with a lady on his shoulder enough times to simply accept that some women don't mind such lines.
"
Life's like a box of chocolates... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was ruined (financially) years ago when I got divorced, so the term makes me shudder in many ways!
Did you lose everything?
Basically, yes!"
Oh  . Sorry to hear that. |
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"I was ruined (financially) years ago when I got divorced, so the term makes me shudder in many ways!
Did you lose everything?
Basically, yes!
Oh . Sorry to hear that. "
Thanks... it was years ago, but built everything back up again and financially secure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I'd ruin you until the neighbours complained about the smell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I guess it just shows what a load of low life's some of us men can really be. I think the phase stinks personally. I really don't know why men use it. Best to be a little more rezpectfullnin my opinion and maybe you might get some where with the lady. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I'd ruin you until the neighbours complained about the smell "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I guess it just shows what a load of low life's some of us men can really be. I think the phase stinks personally. I really don't know why men use it. Best to be a little more rezpectfullnin my opinion and maybe you might get some where with the lady. "
I agree, ease us in gently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ruin" sounds like something someone would say during a business wrangle in a mediocre film.
However, after a good session, I love nothing better than to jump off the bed, point at her exhausted body, give a maniacal laugh and yell "Bow before your leader!", before running out of the room (usually before she throws something at me). Doesn't everybody? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Ruin" sounds like something someone would say during a business wrangle in a mediocre film.
However, after a good session, I love nothing better than to jump off the bed, point at her exhausted body, give a maniacal laugh and yell "Bow before your leader!", before running out of the room (usually before she throws something at me). Doesn't everybody? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could be worse, could be
"I'm going to destroy you" or
"I'm going to fuck the living daylights out of you" "
I think they are all on a par really, I’m not keen on any of them. |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I think it is a means of artistic expression for some people. |
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?
I'll have sex with you for 1 minute and leave you disappointed if you'd prefer that? "
As with everything, there is a middle ground |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"That and when they go into explicit details about what they’re going to do.
Oh yes, a whole story of what they are going to do to you  "
that you usually then find all your local female friends have had the same message too |
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We all know my mind works in its own special way.
I have thoughts that they must think my gash is made of plasticine and they're gonna mash fuck out of it.
I'm all, oh I was hoping for flowers and a piggy back to the shop |
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"That and when they go into explicit details about what they’re going to do.
Oh yes, a whole story of what they are going to do to you that you usually then find all your local female friends have had the same message too "
Oh, that original message just for you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We all know my mind works in its own special way.
I have thoughts that they must think my gash is made of plasticine and they're gonna mash fuck out of it.
I'm all, oh I was hoping for flowers and a piggy back to the shop "
To buy chocolate ? |
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It starts to hint about the amount of time that they spend with the genders, when they're sounding like dirty chats with male mates, rather than any experience with partners.
I get the smashed, banged, ruined talk |
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"We all know my mind works in its own special way.
I have thoughts that they must think my gash is made of plasticine and they're gonna mash fuck out of it.
I'm all, oh I was hoping for flowers and a piggy back to the shop
To buy chocolate ?"
Rustlers burger, quality bird me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What prompts men to say this in a first message? Any man care to enlighten me?
I mean, I do love a bit of ruining, but I do like to have a discussion around my limits and boundaries first?"
I think you could ruin me, id be like a boy scout with a bit of dry wood trying to make a fire lol |
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Had similar, such a turn on isn’t it not
One we had recently, not that we’d be any good at talking dirty, “want to stick my tongue in your pussy till you moan and lick it until it’s wet” please use some imagination
I’d be “it’s wet now get off” how good was he, got me moaning and wet within a second! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe the mentality is that the females response would be 'I bet you cant' or 'I'd like to see you try'
Which is a yes or an in for a conversation or to them fucking you. It's a bit like a goading for some rough or lots of sex, at the same time asserting their male dominance/masculinity/virility/alpha whatever you want to call it.
A feisty female might go back and say they'd outlast the guy and ruin him instead. Either way he's game on for as much sex as he can get out of it and primed the woman for it.
I could be wrong.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe the mentality is that the females response would be 'I bet you cant' or 'I'd like to see you try'
Which is a yes or an in for a conversation or to them fucking you. It's a bit like a goading for some rough or lots of sex, at the same time asserting their male dominance/masculinity/virility/alpha whatever you want to call it.
A feisty female might go back and say they'd outlast the guy and ruin him instead. Either way he's game on for as much sex as he can get out of it and primed the woman for it.
I could be wrong.
"
Does that ever work though? That kind of thing is a huge turn off for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the mentality is that the females response would be 'I bet you cant' or 'I'd like to see you try'
Which is a yes or an in for a conversation or to them fucking you. It's a bit like a goading for some rough or lots of sex, at the same time asserting their male dominance/masculinity/virility/alpha whatever you want to call it.
A feisty female might go back and say they'd outlast the guy and ruin him instead. Either way he's game on for as much sex as he can get out of it and primed the woman for it.
I could be wrong.
Does that ever work though? That kind of thing is a huge turn off for me."
Who knows? Catch the right woman at the right time maybe it would. As I'm sure some might like it.
I think it's meant as a compliment as in they are so turned on by the woman they'd go for ages or hard enough to ruin them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice "
Get in the ring |
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"Maybe the mentality is that the females response would be 'I bet you cant' or 'I'd like to see you try'
Which is a yes or an in for a conversation or to them fucking you. It's a bit like a goading for some rough or lots of sex, at the same time asserting their male dominance/masculinity/virility/alpha whatever you want to call it.
A feisty female might go back and say they'd outlast the guy and ruin him instead. Either way he's game on for as much sex as he can get out of it and primed the woman for it.
I could be wrong.
"
Someone i had banter with and knew pretty well and actively wanted to meet or had met previously I might take it that way, but off a random my heckles go up, my left eyebrow does it's "who the fuuuuck do you think you're talking to?' raise and I'm reaching for an invisible crowbar thinking "let's dance bitch" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice
Get in the ring
Hahahaha! You're going down ranger "
Wanna bet on that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice
I like your style "
She's all talk
Dana White inked the fight deal and she failed to show |
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"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice
I like your style
She's all talk
Dana White inked the fight deal and she failed to show "
One day Ranger, we'll do this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice
I like your style
She's all talk
Dana White inked the fight deal and she failed to show "
She so isn’t |
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"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice
I like your style
She's all talk
Dana White inked the fight deal and she failed to show
She so isn’t "
Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They make me laugh! I'm like, 'mate, I don't think so. I've gone hard at it with a wand on max for over 2 hours, and survived. No man could make me multiple climax in 2 minutes then keep me going for an hour or until there's no feeling. Ruined. Utterly. Blocked.'
That's how this pussy plays with little mice
I like your style
She's all talk
Dana White inked the fight deal and she failed to show
She so isn’t
Thank you "
Ok team up then.
I'll take ya both.
Remember the fab belt is on the line |
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