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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi,
I am aware that I have a rather overbearing mother, whos eems to want to know the ins and outs of a ducks arse (ie my life) Does anyone else have overbeariung parents, and how do you deal with them.
In my opinion the only one who needs to know everything is my husband, which he does.
I think I may expolde at her soon....
S xxx |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Hi,
I am aware that I have a rather overbearing mother, whos eems to want to know the ins and outs of a ducks arse (ie my life) Does anyone else have overbeariung parents, and how do you deal with them.
In my opinion the only one who needs to know everything is my husband, which he does.
I think I may expolde at her soon....
S xxx"
Sounds a difficult one as it is your mum not just some mate. In my experience with people who are overbearing it helps to negotiate and et clear boundaries of what is acceptable to you both; eg you tell mum what you like/ expect from her and ask her what she expects/ would from you. Perhaps you could arrive at a compromise? If you can negotiate/ compromise chances are your mum wont feel so rejected as if you just tell her to go away? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once told my mother to fuck off and threw her out my house.  Bit extreme, but she was left with no doubt that she had upset me and her interference wasn't welcome.
We are still great friends and she knows to keep out of my life unless invited to share. Sometimes just talking and reasoning with my mother is lost on her...... drastic times call for drastic measures.
Usually I have an ally in my dad, a quite word with him and he manages my mother for me. Could you do the same perhaps?  |
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Guess im lucky with my life, for certain reasons she has to know alot about my life and basically i more or less tell her most things. My son is the same, i know he doesnt tell me everything but he tells me most things. Im not sure whether id be called an interferring mother? I dont think so as i let him get on with stuff, same as my mother does me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really do appreiate everything she does for me.... she has always been very good to me, but I have found somewhere that I feel comfortable being, and i love where I am right now.
I have been close a few times to telling her recently.... but I dont want to end up screaming it at her.... (I would rather not tell her full stop.... dont think she would understand)
S xxxx |
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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago
oldbury |
I was left with no other choice but to walk away from mine after she caused me too much upset and heartache after a family bereavement. To be honest it was extreme but the best thing I ever did I am now free of her interference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I escaped from mine ages ago, as they sent me over here to get a better education etc...
I became very independent and did not want to live with them ever again, and settled in this country instead.
I only saw my parents once every 2 or 3 years as they lived in a different continent since I was 19.
I now visit my mum every 2 years as she is pulling the "there won't be many more years for me to live" etc. etc...
We speak on the phone from time to time, and when she nags, I would go "yeah, yeah, yeah" to humour her.
Good job she lives so far away! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not close to my mum as she is not the nicest of people, she knows little of what goes on in my life and I want to keep it that way, for me its none of her business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my mums always been a bit like that, but my much older sister is worse.
got worse when i had my son. forever telling me how to bring him up.
even though she never had any kids of her own, and never left home.
she got much worse as she got older, so much so that we fell out and dont see each other anymore and she lives the other side of the country, which is a good thing.
i decided i wouldnt be like that with my son. i may not agree with some things he does, but i dont say anything.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"you should all be thankfull you have mums,i bet even though they get on your nerves they would always be there for you"
I have no issue with my mum as a rule, but as I said earlier, I have found something I actually like, I enjoy, and dare I say love.... I never ever give her a hard time about where she is going or what she is doing, and I know she is there when i need her, as I am for her.
There was a revelation from her earlier this year, and I know I cannot tell her that for the last so many years, my husband has allowed me to take lovers.... and I am now exploring swinging ... I know she worries about me, but over the last 2 - 3 months, I feel she has become unbearable.... and I am finding harder and harder to be nice.....
S xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thats tricky for an easy life id just tell her what she wants to hear. Thats what I kind of do with mine lol. "
Think my mother wants the truth.... and I am not willing to go there with her.... could be tricky... Do you tell your mother what you get up to from time to time  xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wont tell you some of the things i have said to my mum
but all i can say is set some clear boundaries and dont always answer the phone or message "
I dont and thats what landed my in trouble, last time ... hahaha... she thought i had disappeared, it had been only 2 days since she had last seen me.... I think, I am going to have to have a sit down at some time
S xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well i just rang my son, and asked him. First he said how random are you then he said im an "alright mum" and he loves me"
Awww Love that
I get on ok with my mum as she knows not to ask too much so I'm lucky really.
I have 'friends' that want to know the ins and outs of everything. I tell them a bit then ask what they've been up to. People love to talk about themselves, they soon chatter on and forget that they were being nosey about you!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont have either of my parents anymore but I am extremely lucky in that I had an excellent relationship with them and I was loved and cherished my whole life. I miss them every day.
My mother was always right, even when I didnt want to believe it, she was. She only had my best interests at heart.
I also have an excellent relationship with my boys and they are very close to me. I think the younger one feels a bit smothered at times, but thats because he has a girlfriend and its all intense and dramatic and he wants to spend every second with her, and I do install boundaries whereby he has to continue studying and spending time at home and teenage love wont see him through life. We have rows but we do talk too so all I think is well |
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