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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Morning all.
Now, granted, me and C are complete newbs to this, BUT, I like to think that, this lifestyle has already taught us (or me for sure) to communicate more openly and honestly, shown me to make so much more of an effort to please her, both emotionally as well as sexually. It's given us a much deeper trust for oneanother, we are learning so much about ourselves and eachother.
I'm curious to see what other, more experienced "swingers" (not a fan of that term, but unsure what else to use) opinions are, good or bad, on the lifestyle
Happy Friday, fabbers. |
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The highs are high but the lows are LOW.
The lifestyle is littered with liars and cheats. Sex is a commodity a lot like money that people will lie, cheat, steal and con you out of.
It can also give you a platform to make lifelong friends who deserve your trust.
You'll likely have moments where one of you will be so hurt you can barely look at the other but other moments where you see nothing but love in the other person.
Swinging can magnify anything and everything in your relationship, especially any cracks. Be solid. Super fucking solid before you invite anyone else into your circle.
Signed.
Someone who's soul has been crushed, trust shattered and legs remain glued together for the foreseeable future. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The highs are high but the lows are LOW.
The lifestyle is littered with liars and cheats. Sex is a commodity a lot like money that people will lie, cheat, steal and con you out of.
It can also give you a platform to make lifelong friends who deserve your trust.
You'll likely have moments where one of you will be so hurt you can barely look at the other but other moments where you see nothing but love in the other person.
Swinging can magnify anything and everything in your relationship, especially any cracks. Be solid. Super fucking solid before you invite anyone else into your circle.
Signed.
Someone who's soul has been crushed, trust shattered and legs remain glued together for the foreseeable future."
I shouldn't laugh but, that did put a smile on my face haha. I'm under no illusions that it will be all rainbows and unicorns but, I still think this lifestyle will work for us. Pretty solid advice though, thank you
Hope your soul bounces back soon, and those legs creak open once again  |
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I think It is what you make of it, I've had some amazing experiences and am looking forward to many more. I've also found some awesome play partners which took a long time but it was totally worth it, you just have to put some serious time and stick to your wants and the gems will eventually show through  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communication is everything, when you first start out your rules and boundaries will be different as you develop your desires. Being honest and making sure you are both comfortable with everything that happens is important. When unexpected things do arise, learn from it for next time.. it's not plain sailing but strong relationships only get better with the lifestyle. |
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We meet on here and got together as a couple only a few months ago. We both have said that neither of us have had an open and honest relationship before. This lifestyle comes with its issues but it means that you have a stronger foundation in the first place otherwise it will expose the cracks quicker.
What is important is that you both have to prioritise the relationship and each other first and foremost. It takes more work than another relationship and that shouldn’t be forgotten.
Beard x |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Don’t take it too seriously
Don’t take it too personally
Don’t invest of yourselves physically and emotionally more than you can afford
Remember to ensure you are both still getting what you both want
When it stops being fun for one or both, stop
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We've been together 23 years and joined the lifestyle 2 years ago and haven't looked back since. It's made us so much more open about our sex life, we value each other more, talk more, everything more really x
We thought we were amazing before but now it's on an entirely different level and it's just the best x
I may be naieve as we haven't had a bad experience yet....
Boundaries and communication is key x |
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That’s very true, a loving couple will always talk to each other and respect the boundaries. Talk openly and open different subjects. We both use fab mainly when we are together, so no secrets, even if one of us sends a message and the other was like really? We don’t proceed with talking to that person. Couples will always struggle with the single ladies purely because a lot of profile have a single and then a couples profile, we just have a couples because that’s what we are about. Nice to read a positive thread.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading from afar *Some good positive posts. I enjoy reading the couples views and perspectives on how this type of swinging’ (I too don’t like this word) can work  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think instincts are good to follow too. Generally if you get that feeling in your gut something or someone doesn’t quite feel right then they are usually best avoided. "
Oh yes. Don’t ever do something you think you might ever regret. You can wait, and do it later maybe when it feels right again. But don’t rush in.
Also if one of you says yes and the other says no. Make it a no. You should both need 2 yes’s and you’ should be good. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We are arranging a meet with one guy and he was actually surprised that both of us read/send messages. He said in previous meets its been awkward as he hadn't actually spoken to both people before hand. That baffles me. Surely all couples talk openly about everything, let alone meets themselves.
I think the biggest positive from this for me, is, Mrs allowing me to want other people (and vice versa) means that on a daily basis I try to show her I want her more than anyone else. So much more compliments, gestures, flirting etc. I often say to her that I would love a night with *insert name but not as much as I do, a life with her.
Its honestly been amazing for us so far . We've been together almost 5 years now and we've never been closer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think instincts are good to follow too. Generally if you get that feeling in your gut something or someone doesn’t quite feel right then they are usually best avoided.
Oh yes. Don’t ever do something you think you might ever regret. You can wait, and do it later maybe when it feels right again. But don’t rush in.
Also if one of you says yes and the other says no. Make it a no. You should both need 2 yes’s and you’ should be good. "
Solid advise but, that would fall under common sense, surely?? |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"I think instincts are good to follow too. Generally if you get that feeling in your gut something or someone doesn’t quite feel right then they are usually best avoided.
Oh yes. Don’t ever do something you think you might ever regret. You can wait, and do it later maybe when it feels right again. But don’t rush in.
Also if one of you says yes and the other says no. Make it a no. You should both need 2 yes’s and you’ should be good.
Solid advise but, that would fall under common sense, surely??"
Yes it would but you’d be surprised how often common sense gets forgotten when things start getting exciting. Always best to check consent every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think instincts are good to follow too. Generally if you get that feeling in your gut something or someone doesn’t quite feel right then they are usually best avoided.
Oh yes. Don’t ever do something you think you might ever regret. You can wait, and do it later maybe when it feels right again. But don’t rush in.
Also if one of you says yes and the other says no. Make it a no. You should both need 2 yes’s and you’ should be good.
Solid advise but, that would fall under common sense, surely??"
So would lots and lots of things. |
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