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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It would be interesting to put this out there in a swinging community.
Would you agree with it or not? Accept people who chose it as a lifestyle or not? Whether in the context of marriage or just gf/bf relationship or even FWB context. If not tell us your point of view honestly. Also please keep it civil  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like try a poly relationship rather than not having her at all. All parties must engage willingly and be open and honest as matters arise. I see jealousy being the biggest worry to overcome perhaps, at least until the dynamic becomes more settled. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would be interesting to put this out there in a swinging community.
Would you agree with it or not? Accept people who chose it as a lifestyle or not? Whether in the context of marriage or just gf/bf relationship or even FWB context. If not tell us your point of view honestly. Also please keep it civil "
No I wouldn't accept it. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I know the definition, I didn't realise you meant specifically men having more than one wife - I thought maybe you were talking about amory.
I mean, if everyone is happy and they're not in a cult, brainwashed, coerced or forced (due to parents) into marrying a man with six wives already, I'd be perfectly accepting (and yes, describing the extremes).
I would never want to be part of a marital harem though. Ever.
In terms of a man with several friends with benefits, I wouldn't describe them as poly anything. Just a man who likes women.
In terms of having multiple girlfriends, I'd say they're polyamorous. Rather than practising polygyny. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know the definition, I didn't realise you meant specifically men having more than one wife - I thought maybe you were talking about amory.
I mean, if everyone is happy and they're not in a cult, brainwashed, coerced or forced (due to parents) into marrying a man with six wives already, I'd be perfectly accepting (and yes, describing the extremes).
I would never want to be part of a marital harem though. Ever.
In terms of a man with several friends with benefits, I wouldn't describe them as poly anything. Just a man who likes women.
In terms of having multiple girlfriends, I'd say they're polyamorous. Rather than practising polygyny."
If I get you right: You'd accept to be the gf of a married man or a man who already has a gf but you wouldn't marry them. Right? |
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Yes of course. Poly can be be achieved in many many different ways and dynamics, all you need are love and emotions with clear communication.
No other rules or must be this or that way. Love has only the boundaries we impose on it  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"If I get you right: You'd accept to be the gf of a married man or a man who already has a gf but you wouldn't marry them. Right?"
Yes. Very much so. Unless of course the wives were able to have multiple partners as well but then you're stepping away from polygyny and its definition.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair "
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though |
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I left a Polyamerours relationship with a married couple just before Christmas.
It was amazing 2 and a bit years, open, honest, allowed my freedom too. In the end we wanted different things and that's ok, it ended very amicably.
It takes alot of work and communication from all sides and it can be tough going at times, but if every one is open about things it can also be very easy. I would do it again but I understand it's not for every one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though "
Sorry, what?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes of course. Poly can be be achieved in many many different ways and dynamics, all you need are love and emotions with clear communication.
No other rules or must be this or that way. Love has only the boundaries we impose on it "
.
Thank you.
I struggled to say exactly this. Love, open emotions with clear communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though
Sorry, what? "
Indeed. Perhaps he hasn't had his morning coffee yet and didn't think that through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though
Sorry, what? "
The OP has asked me to clarify via PM. I fail to see why "kids need to know who their father is" justifies polygyny. That was in response to a suggestion that it's fair if women can also have additional partners. I think it's a very patriarchal view of relationships. A man can have multiple partners because what's important is that a kid knows which man is his father? Why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you mean polyamory or polygamy?
Polygyny: a type of polygamy in which one Man having a relationship with more than one woman. "
Ha ha - that’s just an everyday relationship in the world at the moment. Poly relationships are all about honesty and consent. Most guys nowadays seem to lie about everything, even when it’s totally unnecessary |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though
Sorry, what?
The OP has asked me to clarify via PM. I fail to see why "kids need to know who their father is" justifies polygyny. That was in response to a suggestion that it's fair if women can also have additional partners. I think it's a very patriarchal view of relationships. A man can have multiple partners because what's important is that a kid knows which man is his father? Why? "
Lol, it's patriarchal for the kids to know their father?
In your view that's not important? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though
Sorry, what?
The OP has asked me to clarify via PM. I fail to see why "kids need to know who their father is" justifies polygyny. That was in response to a suggestion that it's fair if women can also have additional partners. I think it's a very patriarchal view of relationships. A man can have multiple partners because what's important is that a kid knows which man is his father? Why?
Lol, it's patriarchal for the kids to know their father?
In your view that's not important? "
In your view it's the only thing that's important as you dismissed a woman having multiple partners in favour of a child knowing who their father is. That's my point. And a child's father is not always about DNA is it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though
Sorry, what?
The OP has asked me to clarify via PM. I fail to see why "kids need to know who their father is" justifies polygyny. That was in response to a suggestion that it's fair if women can also have additional partners. I think it's a very patriarchal view of relationships. A man can have multiple partners because what's important is that a kid knows which man is his father? Why?
Lol, it's patriarchal for the kids to know their father?
In your view that's not important?
In your view it's the only thing that's important as you dismissed a woman having multiple partners in favour of a child knowing who their father is. That's my point. And a child's father is not always about DNA is it. "
Please quote me where Said it's the only important thing
Also I am not dismissing any woman. Nobody is asking you or forcing you to be part of it. It's something to be agreed between the hypothetical partners. That's why it's not for everybody. Just as swinging is not for everybody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's having more than one partner then I'd want more than one too.
Fairs fair
Haha, nothing for free then! kids need know who is their Futher though
Sorry, what?
The OP has asked me to clarify via PM. I fail to see why "kids need to know who their father is" justifies polygyny. That was in response to a suggestion that it's fair if women can also have additional partners. I think it's a very patriarchal view of relationships. A man can have multiple partners because what's important is that a kid knows which man is his father? Why?
Lol, it's patriarchal for the kids to know their father?
In your view that's not important?
In your view it's the only thing that's important as you dismissed a woman having multiple partners in favour of a child knowing who their father is. That's my point. And a child's father is not always about DNA is it.
Please quote me where Said it's the only important thing
Also I am not dismissing any woman. Nobody is asking you or forcing you to be part of it. It's something to be agreed between the hypothetical partners. That's why it's not for everybody. Just as swinging is not for everybody. "
Between this and you DMing to tell me I am being nasty - I'm out. |
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My experience with polygamy is that everyone’s happy with it until their partner starts shagging someone else
This is especially true with guys
Sounds great at the start? “I get to bang other women? Sweet!”
Until their misses comes home with messy hair and that “I just came 11 times” look on her face.
It’s not easy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP stop messaging me"
Haha, OMG! I have only replied to your message! Are you being a sexist now? Ok for you to message me but not ok for me to reply? This is exactly why I asked you to clarify in private. To not spoil the thread.
Take care and have peace. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My experience with polygamy is that everyone’s happy with it until their partner starts shagging someone else
This is especially true with guys
Sounds great at the start? “I get to bang other women? Sweet!”
Until their misses comes home with messy hair and that “I just came 11 times” look on her face.
It’s not easy "
That made laugh loud |
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Regardless of what kind of relationship you're in, dishonesty and jealousy are the elements most likely to cause problems. That's particularly so in swinging as the rules are often less clearly defined.
Mistress Clare and I recognised that fact from the start and discussed in depth about what we need from each other and what we're happy to give.
So far it's worked really well. We don't live together and play separately when we're at home. When we're together at a club we let each other know if we're going off to play with someone, although we often play with others together (we do love an orgy!  ).
If we arrange a meet with others outside a club we discuss what we want from it before we engage with our playmates.
I often find that couples don't seem to communicate in the same depth as we do and I think that's often the cause of the problem.
Regarding the OP's original question, we're both greedy so a polygynous relationship wouldn't work for either of us. That doesn't mean wi wouldn't work for others though.
Discuss, discuss, discuss with honesty and no jealousy. That's the key. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what kind of relationship you're in, dishonesty and jealousy are the elements most likely to cause problems. That's particularly so in swinging as the rules are often less clearly defined.
Mistress Clare and I recognised that fact from the start and discussed in depth about what we need from each other and what we're happy to give.
So far it's worked really well. We don't live together and play separately when we're at home. When we're together at a club we let each other know if we're going off to play with someone, although we often play with others together (we do love an orgy! ).
If we arrange a meet with others outside a club we discuss what we want from it before we engage with our playmates.
I often find that couples don't seem to communicate in the same depth as we do and I think that's often the cause of the problem.
Regarding the OP's original question, we're both greedy so a polygynous relationship wouldn't work for either of us. That doesn't mean wi wouldn't work for others though.
Discuss, discuss, discuss with honesty and no jealousy. That's the key."
Great reply and advice |
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I think people underestimate just how much trust and communication it takes to get it to work.
It's not just a case of "let's shag around" it's far far more constructive than that. There's a big gap, in my mind, between an open relationship and a Polyamerours one.
One is very sex orientated and the other one is dominated by talking about feelings and emotions. Don't get me wrong, both are/can be as fun as eachother but the feeling that some one you openly love loves some one else just as much as you takes alot of taking and understanding.
I dislike it when people view poly relationships as easy or just about sex, it's hard work, but In my view its more than with it if every one is on the same page |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what kind of relationship you're in, dishonesty and jealousy are the elements most likely to cause problems. That's particularly so in swinging as the rules are often less clearly defined.
Mistress Clare and I recognised that fact from the start and discussed in depth about what we need from each other and what we're happy to give.
So far it's worked really well. We don't live together and play separately when we're at home. When we're together at a club we let each other know if we're going off to play with someone, although we often play with others together (we do love an orgy! ).
If we arrange a meet with others outside a club we discuss what we want from it before we engage with our playmates.
I often find that couples don't seem to communicate in the same depth as we do and I think that's often the cause of the problem.
Regarding the OP's original question, we're both greedy so a polygynous relationship wouldn't work for either of us. That doesn't mean wi wouldn't work for others though.
Discuss, discuss, discuss with honesty and no jealousy. That's the key."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a poly relationship a few years ago and this is something that very much appeals to us, it may sound ridiculous as we decided to marry each other but for us we feel a third fits in with us like a glove, in all aspects of life, the sex isn't something that a big part of it, it's togetherness and sharing "our love" if that makes sense, being able to hold another's hand, snuggling up watching a film, to us it feels strange not having s third.
And yes, we do mean another female and we aren't "unicorn hunters" we've been accused of this before, it's just personal preference.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm confused by the OP but I'm poly so any relationship I have they are aware of this. I don't ever expect anyone to be exclusive with me or vice versa. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Do you mean polyamory or polygamy?
I’m still stuck here……
The first is fine the second is illegal , the third type your taking about seems to be a typo ? If not can you explain what it means "
That's what I was really confused about. I think he means general polyamory but he's using polygyny so maybe he means marriage, many wives, one man? Hence me tailoring my response to the latter not former. It's confusing. |
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"Do you mean polyamory or polygamy?
I’m still stuck here……
The first is fine the second is illegal , the third type your taking about seems to be a typo ? If not can you explain what it means
That's what I was really confused about. I think he means general polyamory but he's using polygyny so maybe he means marriage, many wives, one man? Hence me tailoring my response to the latter not former. It's confusing. "
Considering his response to the idea of women having more than one relationship I think he really does mean polygyny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bf is allowed another woman along side myself (I posted a thread regarding this) I have neither the time or patience for another man but more than happy for bf to play, it definitely comes down to trust, respect, boundaries,expectations and more importantly communication, any poly situation isn't for everyone but if it works as a dynamic |
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It wouldn't work for me. I wouldn't want to be tied to one man, let alone one man who has multiple other partners while I presumably sit at home and wait for his attention.
If we can both have other partners then happy days, that works well for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bf is allowed another woman along side myself (I posted a thread regarding this) I have neither the time or patience for another man but more than happy for bf to play, it definitely comes down to trust, respect, boundaries,expectations and more importantly communication, any poly situation isn't for everyone but if it works as a dynamic "
What I meant is not just for him to play. It's not just about sex. Would you accept your bf to have another gf and have the same bond and life expectations with her as he has with you? As a life partner in equal footing as yourself |
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