FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Changing your mind about someone
Changing your mind about someone
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This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while so I thought I would just throw this out there today and get your honest views.
As most of you are aware that we are becoming more active on this profile and have noticed some differences since becoming a couple which I’m not really going to go into in too much detail.
The question I want to ask if that as people move through their fab journey do your perceptions of that person change?
Everyone that you meant, interact with or knows your name will have a different version of you in their mind. This is natural depending on what you present and the circumstances surrounding it.
The second question is that if someone becomes part of a couple do you see them differently? Maybe you respect the relationship more? Maybe that person is off limits now? Even platonically, does that change for you too?
This isn’t a thread to judge or criticise just an understanding (and an effort to raise new topics in the forum)
*Beard* |
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There are quite a few singles that over time have become couples via fab, hell! we even have a wedding or two coming up!
It’s great to see people come together  from my perspective. I still perhaps speak with them individually or as a couple and I fully respect that as a couple they have something special.
I’m sure they would make it clear what the boundaries were re: meeting. |
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"There are quite a few singles that over time have become couples via fab, hell! we even have a wedding or two coming up!
It’s great to see people come together from my perspective. I still perhaps speak with them individually or as a couple and I fully respect that as a couple they have something special.
I’m sure they would make it clear what the boundaries were re: meeting. "
If you spoke to one more than the other would this stop you messaging the couples profile and continue to speak individually? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a new fab forum couple ourselves I'd agree.
Messages are different in certain aspects as in its aimed to include us both and we get each other's opinion on messages sent to us.
It's changed my dynamic of messaging too as I no longer send first messages whereas as a single female, I felt more free to reach out to others.
I hope our individual personalities still come through, there has been times when I've wondered if we should also have single profiles to make this easier but I usually sign off with my username which helps.
Loving your pics OP, you've inspired me to try and get more creative - and brave - with the camera 
PNG x |
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"There are quite a few singles that over time have become couples via fab, hell! we even have a wedding or two coming up!
It’s great to see people come together from my perspective. I still perhaps speak with them individually or as a couple and I fully respect that as a couple they have something special.
I’m sure they would make it clear what the boundaries were re: meeting.
If you spoke to one more than the other would this stop you messaging the couples profile and continue to speak individually? "
Not necessarily… is that what you are finding? |
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"As a new fab forum couple ourselves I'd agree.
Messages are different in certain aspects as in its aimed to include us both and we get each other's opinion on messages sent to us.
It's changed my dynamic of messaging too as I no longer send first messages whereas as a single female, I felt more free to reach out to others.
I hope our individual personalities still come through, there has been times when I've wondered if we should also have single profiles to make this easier but I usually sign off with my username which helps.
Loving your pics OP, you've inspired me to try and get more creative - and brave - with the camera
PNG x "
Losing individuality is something that can be perceived. You are no longer messaging one person but two. Though as part of a couple you still maintain your own individuality. This is why I’m asking about perception rather than anything else.
And thank you for the compliments |
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"If I'm friends with a person, them getting into a relationship wouldn't change how I see them or feel about them unless their behaviour towards me changed or something. "
Would you carry on the same conversations if you were messaging a couples profile rather than a singles? |
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"There are quite a few singles that over time have become couples via fab, hell! we even have a wedding or two coming up!
It’s great to see people come together from my perspective. I still perhaps speak with them individually or as a couple and I fully respect that as a couple they have something special.
I’m sure they would make it clear what the boundaries were re: meeting.
If you spoke to one more than the other would this stop you messaging the couples profile and continue to speak individually?
Not necessarily… is that what you are finding? "
On some level yes. It’s ok and not meant as a complaint in anyway.
We are finding that we are now talking to different people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's qllways been our intention to develop friendships first then grow from there. I get some folk see things qs a free for all.
However we don't see any problem with friendships not changing so long as said couple are happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer talking on individual profiles, unless it's always just one half of the couple talking.. Only because i find it confusing not always knowing who I'm talking to.. Some are better than others at putting initials at the end of chat, but most are terrible  |
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"If I'm friends with a person, them getting into a relationship wouldn't change how I see them or feel about them unless their behaviour towards me changed or something.
Would you carry on the same conversations if you were messaging a couples profile rather than a singles? "
I have done when I'm close to both people in the couple as I'd have no issue with the other reading it but if I was close to someone and they got into a relationship with someone I didn't know very well I probably would be different in the way I messaged them on their couples profile because there's effectively a near stranger who is going to be reading the conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer talking on individual profiles, unless it's always just one half of the couple talking.. Only because i find it confusing not always knowing who I'm talking to.. Some are better than others at putting initials at the end of chat, but most are terrible "
I do forget but usually if there's no initials, it will be him.
I think it's important to maintain some individuality even on a couple's profile
PNG x
(I almost forgot the initials then ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been very popular on here. There are some I can flirt with because the boundaries have been set. I wouldn't feel comfortable flirting with the male half of a couple partly because I'd feel that it was fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer talking on individual profiles, unless it's always just one half of the couple talking.. Only because i find it confusing not always knowing who I'm talking to.. Some are better than others at putting initials at the end of chat, but most are terrible
I do forget but usually if there's no initials, it will be him.
I think it's important to maintain some individuality even on a couple's profile
PNG x
(I almost forgot the initials then ) "
Oh the irony  |
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"It's qllways been our intention to develop friendships first then grow from there. I get some folk see things qs a free for all.
However we don't see any problem with friendships not changing so long as said couple are happy"
What’s important to remember too is that naturally you will both have different friends which is healthy |
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When I was searching on here I found it more difficult to approach couples than singles.
I would send a lot of first messages to guys, but never to couples.
I did react differently to messages from couples than singles too. I was far more likely to respond to a "how r u" from a couple than I was to a single, and I've no real idea why.
In terms of people I chat to coupling up I can't say it's really changed the way we chat, because its only happened once and we were fairly sporadic chatters anyway. |
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"I prefer talking on individual profiles, unless it's always just one half of the couple talking.. Only because i find it confusing not always knowing who I'm talking to.. Some are better than others at putting initials at the end of chat, but most are terrible "
I must admit I fail at this. Not in the first message but when the conversation is flowing. |
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"If I'm friends with a person, them getting into a relationship wouldn't change how I see them or feel about them unless their behaviour towards me changed or something.
Would you carry on the same conversations if you were messaging a couples profile rather than a singles?
I have done when I'm close to both people in the couple as I'd have no issue with the other reading it but if I was close to someone and they got into a relationship with someone I didn't know very well I probably would be different in the way I messaged them on their couples profile because there's effectively a near stranger who is going to be reading the conversation. "
Thank you for this. I guess it really does depend on the closeness of that friendship before the coupling happened. I’m sure TG needs to have a little moan about me away from my eyes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I’m messaging a couple I do often wonder who I’m talking to, but it’s never flirting, so it isn’t an issue for me.
I do think if there is a couples account and a singles account, that it’s just good form to message the couples account first for meet related things, unless you know for sure that it’s ok. |
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"I've never been very popular on here. There are some I can flirt with because the boundaries have been set. I wouldn't feel comfortable flirting with the male half of a couple partly because I'd feel that it was fake."
Why would you feel it was fake? I get what you are saying but when the female half is happy and actively encourages it, would you still feel uncomfortable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a fabber who instantly blocked me on my previous profiles that has interacted with me on the forums and now wants to be my friend
I wonder what has changed for them now"
It's my lovable personality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer talking on individual profiles, unless it's always just one half of the couple talking.. Only because i find it confusing not always knowing who I'm talking to.. Some are better than others at putting initials at the end of chat, but most are terrible
I must admit I fail at this. Not in the first message but when the conversation is flowing. "
Actually Lacey makes a good point too.. Usually i know one half of the new couple better than the other |
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"When I was searching on here I found it more difficult to approach couples than singles.
I would send a lot of first messages to guys, but never to couples.
I did react differently to messages from couples than singles too. I was far more likely to respond to a "how r u" from a couple than I was to a single, and I've no real idea why.
In terms of people I chat to coupling up I can't say it's really changed the way we chat, because its only happened once and we were fairly sporadic chatters anyway."
I have certainly found with genuine people/couples the messages to a couples profile are more restrained and respectful. |
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We still have our own profiles, as well as our joint one and it really depends on who we’re chatting with.
We feel as long as it’s respectful it doesn’t really matter where we chat. The only time it’s an issue is if people message our individual profile to try and arrange something that they know wouldn’t be welcome on the joint profile (mainly people pretending to want to meet a couple then let on that it’s just a female they want).
I think it helps that we always sign off messages on our joint profile so people know who they’re chatting with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been very popular on here. There are some I can flirt with because the boundaries have been set. I wouldn't feel comfortable flirting with the male half of a couple partly because I'd feel that it was fake.
Why would you feel it was fake? I get what you are saying but when the female half is happy and actively encourages it, would you still feel uncomfortable?"
When they openly say what an amazing partner they've found,why would they have any interest in me. |
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"If I'm friends with a person, them getting into a relationship wouldn't change how I see them or feel about them unless their behaviour towards me changed or something.
Would you carry on the same conversations if you were messaging a couples profile rather than a singles?
I have done when I'm close to both people in the couple as I'd have no issue with the other reading it but if I was close to someone and they got into a relationship with someone I didn't know very well I probably would be different in the way I messaged them on their couples profile because there's effectively a near stranger who is going to be reading the conversation.
Thank you for this. I guess it really does depend on the closeness of that friendship before the coupling happened. I’m sure TG needs to have a little moan about me away from my eyes "
Haha!
In all seriousness though I think we all have conversations we wouldn't want our partners to read or want the partners of our friends to read. It doesn't necessarily mean it's because of anything negative. Sometimes it's just a bit cringe or personal or my jokes are just a bit shit and I'm shy about that . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find couples complicated so unless they both have a clear presence on the forum or only the woman/man posts I don't tend to interact. I can't respond to two people in any real sense and I certainly don't flirt with couples accounts. |
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"I've never been very popular on here. There are some I can flirt with because the boundaries have been set. I wouldn't feel comfortable flirting with the male half of a couple partly because I'd feel that it was fake.
Why would you feel it was fake? I get what you are saying but when the female half is happy and actively encourages it, would you still feel uncomfortable?
When they openly say what an amazing partner they've found,why would they have any interest in me."
Do you think people only swing when they don't think their partner is amazing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think my interactions might change if I was talking to a someone who, during that time, became part of a couple...
..I mean, who knows what's on and off limits? What's acceptable and what isn't? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been very popular on here. There are some I can flirt with because the boundaries have been set. I wouldn't feel comfortable flirting with the male half of a couple partly because I'd feel that it was fake.
Why would you feel it was fake? I get what you are saying but when the female half is happy and actively encourages it, would you still feel uncomfortable?
When they openly say what an amazing partner they've found,why would they have any interest in me.
Do you think people only swing when they don't think their partner is amazing? "
No. It's a low self asteem thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my interactions might change if I was talking to a someone who, during that time, became part of a couple...
..I mean, who knows what's on and off limits? What's acceptable and what isn't? "
Yes. I'd just back off tbh. If I'm not sure of myself that's my default. |
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Interesting musing.
Taking you guys as an example, I'll start my ramblings:
I definitely perv over tinder less now she's spoken for. Which is weird considering the nature of the site! And that I do perv over other couples on here.
However, I've not interacted with you as a 'couple entity' much so it's a bit weird if I start oofting. If you know what I mean.
Also tinder posts less so it could also be attributed to that too.
You just try to respect the relationship I think, and boundaries change as people's situations change.
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I still talk to a couple of people I knew before I met Jack here.
He speaks to people he knew before me too.
I wouldn't expect anyone Jack knows to message this profile.
If we both know the person, we chat on this profile.
Hope that makes sense.
Miss |
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I guess it depends on the couples. Well established couples, not a problem but newly formed relationships need time to develop especially if neither party has been involved in a "swinging relationship" before. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
It loks like you're talking about fab and the people on here..
When I was meeting I always steered away from asking or trying to answer too many questions. At some point either I or they would say something that would give me or they the ick.
The forums are a whole different world to meets. The forums are made of people from all over the UK. It doesn't really matter so much. If you offend someone it's not going to affect those you're messaging on the whole - though no doubt people do get talked about.
Having an opinion of someone is fine - just take it with a pinch of salt as you may meet or it's unlikely you will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting to see how singles react to couples but I wonder how other couples react to each other once a new couple is formed from singles - (Well done to those who understood that nonsensical sentence )
For me, I'm always still happy to get an oooft from anyone on our couples profile. Just because we're together, we're here on a swinging site and as previous singles, it's still nice to get those appreciation messages and comments.
We're still the same people underneath the new cover of a couples profile
PNG x |
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It's been a bit of a mixed bag for me. Some people have been lovely and expressed their happiness for us, said what a nice couple we make etc. Some people are indifferent and carry on as they were. And some people have shown that they're not very pleasant and have no tact or respect for other people's relationships.
But, you know, everyone is different and all that shizzle...none of it makes a difference as we have complete openness about who we talk to. |
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Yep. As soon as they become a couple I friendzone both of them and any thought of play is stopped. I'm of the view that the relationship should be be looked upon first and for a while as they work out how swinging enriches their relationship.
If and only if they both deem it right would I then be happy to converse sexually with them and set our boundaries in place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting though the great bearded one.
Yes i think perceptions do change for instance for me tinds would be off limits as i respect her & your relationship even if i was invited to play i wouldnt as to me it wouldnt be right.
If you had already been in a relationship when i got to know tinds yes i would play as ive only known you as a couple.
Maybe its just me thats like this, also ive found when two people go into a relationship on fab they do become partially closed books, quieter ect but thats expected   |
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My perceptions of people are based on the people. Most of my shifts in perception about people have been about getting to know them better, seeing a side to them I hadn't before. Couples, it's neither here nor there for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If my fwb decided to move on and try something/someone new then I'd totally respect it. Would it change the way I felt about them? No. Would I still try to pursue them? No, as that would be disrespectful towards them. That said, I would still be gutted but she is nobody's property. I'd secretely hope she'd re-visit me though |
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It's a mixed bag. I've changed my opinion on some people when I realised they were using me and they weren't the person I initially thought they were.
Generally though my spidey senses are pretty good and my first impressions of people are usually spot on.
If I see someone as a person I would never wish to engage with or I pick up on bad vibes, I have yet to proven wrong.
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Southern Wales |
I think of them the same but yes they do become off limits sort of and in a way I then kind of lose interest in them because the potential of taking things further has gone, regardless of whether they still meet separately or not.
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"I think my interactions might change if I was talking to a someone who, during that time, became part of a couple...
..I mean, who knows what's on and off limits? What's acceptable and what isn't? "
You ask. It’s that simple. From my own experience couples are more likely to be sure of their boundaries |
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"Interesting to see how singles react to couples but I wonder how other couples react to each other once a new couple is formed from singles - (Well done to those who understood that nonsensical sentence )
For me, I'm always still happy to get an oooft from anyone on our couples profile. Just because we're together, we're here on a swinging site and as previous singles, it's still nice to get those appreciation messages and comments.
We're still the same people underneath the new cover of a couples profile
PNG x "
This is exactly how we feel. An ooofft is always appreciated and actually shows that someone sees you as an individual rather than one half.
An oooofffttt doesn’t mean you are suddenly going to jump in to bed with someone  |
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"It's been a bit of a mixed bag for me. Some people have been lovely and expressed their happiness for us, said what a nice couple we make etc. Some people are indifferent and carry on as they were. And some people have shown that they're not very pleasant and have no tact or respect for other people's relationships.
But, you know, everyone is different and all that shizzle...none of it makes a difference as we have complete openness about who we talk to. "
Very much what we have found too. It’s really interesting to hear this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose if I was god friends with someone I’d have their number and would not use fab to interact. As previously said, if I was chatting to a friend and I then could only message via a couples profile, and I didn’t know the other half of that couple, I may message slightly differently. I’d probably suggest to that person to just have an insanely filtered single profile just to chat if they felt they missed that type of interaction with friends? |
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I find it unsurprising that people react to different types of profiles. No matter who they belong to.
And if people on here get together I’m also not surprised if previous friends, that were wannabe meets, will cool off if they now perceive you now to be unavailable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my interactions might change if I was talking to a someone who, during that time, became part of a couple...
..I mean, who knows what's on and off limits? What's acceptable and what isn't?
You ask. It’s that simple. From my own experience couples are more likely to be sure of their boundaries "
Yeah I get that. Although, personally, I feel, it would change the dynamics of the friendship...having to ask those kind of questions, where I wouldn't have had to before.
I guess it depends how important that friendship is and whether those changes are something compatible or not. |
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Something I have found interesting since having a partner on here, and since mention of him on my profile, is how many people make assumptions about our relationship, and how they think we should do things.
Also the number of guys who announce that if I was their girlfriend they wouldn’t “let” me stay on Fab.
It’s interesting. |
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"Something I have found interesting since having a partner on here, and since mention of him on my profile, is how many people make assumptions about our relationship, and how they think we should do things.
Also the number of guys who announce that if I was their girlfriend they wouldn’t “let” me stay on Fab.
It’s interesting."
That is really interesting and shows how they view women on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my interactions might change if I was talking to a someone who, during that time, became part of a couple...
..I mean, who knows what's on and off limits? What's acceptable and what isn't?
You ask. It’s that simple. From my own experience couples are more likely to be sure of their boundaries "
I think this, and I think it’s rude and disrespectful not to. |
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"Something I have found interesting since having a partner on here, and since mention of him on my profile, is how many people make assumptions about our relationship, and how they think we should do things.
Also the number of guys who announce that if I was their girlfriend they wouldn’t “let” me stay on Fab.
It’s interesting."
Weirdly I got more strange assumptions about my relationship (usually that he was a cuck and wanted to watch or hear about me having sex with others) when I only had one partner than I do now I have two. Maybe people are now just completely baffled so don't comment on it  . |
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"Something I have found interesting since having a partner on here, and since mention of him on my profile, is how many people make assumptions about our relationship, and how they think we should do things.
Also the number of guys who announce that if I was their girlfriend they wouldn’t “let” me stay on Fab.
It’s interesting.
That is really interesting and shows how they view women on here"
It really does. The first “let” comment was particularly interesting as it was from someone I’ve known a long time on here.
The opinions (it’s amazing the number of people who think they know better than us and we should have taken a break from Fab when we changed from casual to serious) just amuse me. It’s always funny when other people think they know you better than you. |
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"Something I have found interesting since having a partner on here, and since mention of him on my profile, is how many people make assumptions about our relationship, and how they think we should do things.
Also the number of guys who announce that if I was their girlfriend they wouldn’t “let” me stay on Fab.
It’s interesting.
Weirdly I got more strange assumptions about my relationship (usually that he was a cuck and wanted to watch or hear about me having sex with others) when I only had one partner than I do now I have two. Maybe people are now just completely baffled so don't comment on it . "
The number of people who assume he’s cuck is very amusing.
Ha that’s funny that they’re now baffled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my interactions might change if I was talking to a someone who, during that time, became part of a couple...
..I mean, who knows what's on and off limits? What's acceptable and what isn't?
You ask. It’s that simple. From my own experience couples are more likely to be sure of their boundaries
I think this, and I think it’s rude and disrespectful not to. "
In which case, with no desire to be rude or disrespectful of anyone I would back off from thr friendship for some time |
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Tinder now....
I guess for me it's the strange feeling of ok you've gone quiet, and trying to figure why, people drift apart admittedly, but the only real change is the relationship.
I get that some will see that I'm now 'off limits' but if they actually spoke to me or us both they'd see that couldn't be further from the truth. In the end nothing actually changes for the most part.
Oh and the not posting on my main is just me being lazy and not having the mojo to take pics etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's qllways been our intention to develop friendships first then grow from there. I get some folk see things qs a free for all.
However we don't see any problem with friendships not changing so long as said couple are happy
What’s important to remember too is that naturally you will both have different friends which is healthy"
absolutly.
I have a few friends but not a massive social animal, hen has a few pals I don't particularly like but tolerate ,we joined here to meet friendly like minded folk, we are making friends slowly , independence is as important and as co existence I think a strong unit makes a strong team |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days "
aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for days
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for days"
no im a chatterbox id go mad lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lol"
I went about six months without actually speaking to anyone, I forgot what my voice sounded like, I was like q fucking monk. Get up ,hoover, eat, go to bed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lolI went about six months without actually speaking to anyone, I forgot what my voice sounded like, I was like q fucking monk. Get up ,hoover, eat, go to bed.
"
fuck that lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lolI went about six months without actually speaking to anyone, I forgot what my voice sounded like, I was like q fucking monk. Get up ,hoover, eat, go to bed.
fuck that lol"
it was no kind of life, thats basically where I am these days, I just cannot be fucked dealing with bullshit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days "
What do you mean by "stop letting people in"? Getting close? Ignore if that's too intrusive. |
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lol"
You never shut up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days
What do you mean by "stop letting people in"? Getting close? Ignore if that's too intrusive. "
yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lol
You never shut up "
nor should i too iv a lot to say and the world wants to hear it i should do one of the ticktack thingys on the tinterwebs |
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lol
You never shut up nor should i too iv a lot to say and the world wants to hear it i should do one of the ticktack thingys on the tinterwebs"
I can just see you doing that  |
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lol
You never shut up nor should i too iv a lot to say and the world wants to hear it i should do one of the ticktack thingys on the tinterwebs"
Yes yes yes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days aye, qlso, do you find yourself happy bot to have any communication with outside world for daysno im a chatterbox id go mad lol
You never shut up nor should i too iv a lot to say and the world wants to hear it i should do one of the ticktack thingys on the tinterwebs
Yes yes yes! "
too much faffin naa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i stopped letting people in i get bored and uninterested really quickly these days
What do you mean by "stop letting people in"? Getting close? Ignore if that's too intrusive. yes "
Thank you |
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I think it would depend on how you interacted with them prior to the coupling up.
Personally I would give any new coupling plenty of space and respect to find themselves. That doesn’t stop us being friends but anything sexual would stop, even flirty banter.
So yes in a way the couple would be off limits, unless it was clear, from them, what they were looking for and whether you still fell into that group. If that makes sense. |
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"I think it would depend on how you interacted with them prior to the coupling up.
Personally I would give any new coupling plenty of space and respect to find themselves. That doesn’t stop us being friends but anything sexual would stop, even flirty banter.
So yes in a way the couple would be off limits, unless it was clear, from them, what they were looking for and whether you still fell into that group. If that makes sense. "
That's how I see it too. |
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"I think it would depend on how you interacted with them prior to the coupling up.
Personally I would give any new coupling plenty of space and respect to find themselves. That doesn’t stop us being friends but anything sexual would stop, even flirty banter.
So yes in a way the couple would be off limits, unless it was clear, from them, what they were looking for and whether you still fell into that group. If that makes sense.
That's how I see it too. "
It doesn’t even have to be an official couple for me to do that, sometimes you see enough just in the forum, status for me to back away naturally and let them see what develops without any interruptions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting topic. Has got me thinking to be fair. We are fairly new couple and the profile is much quieter compared to my previous singles one of course. I think guys will not message a female when they previously had done so because they don't think they'll get anywhere. I can't speak for females messaging a guy but personally i would be worried about the female half thinking I was only after their guy and trying to poach them off them. When moving from playing alone to only playing as a couple we encountered one person who made the comment of keeping their number in case things changed which in my eyes was disrespectful. Others were very different and acted unselfishly. We've been fairly quiet on fab as we've just been enjoying each other and fab isn't a big thing for us right now. That said we'd quite like to think we are approachable but after reading the comments above I'm thinking maybe we aren't for a variety of reasons.
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW |
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"Interesting topic. Has got me thinking to be fair. We are fairly new couple and the profile is much quieter compared to my previous singles one of course. I think guys will not message a female when they previously had done so because they don't think they'll get anywhere. I can't speak for females messaging a guy but personally i would be worried about the female half thinking I was only after their guy and trying to poach them off them. When moving from playing alone to only playing as a couple we encountered one person who made the comment of keeping their number in case things changed which in my eyes was disrespectful. Others were very different and acted unselfishly. We've been fairly quiet on fab as we've just been enjoying each other and fab isn't a big thing for us right now. That said we'd quite like to think we are approachable but after reading the comments above I'm thinking maybe we aren't for a variety of reasons.
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW "
That last paragraph is it in a nutshell, you can stay friends but the other flirty side disappears. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting topic. Has got me thinking to be fair. We are fairly new couple and the profile is much quieter compared to my previous singles one of course. I think guys will not message a female when they previously had done so because they don't think they'll get anywhere. I can't speak for females messaging a guy but personally i would be worried about the female half thinking I was only after their guy and trying to poach them off them. When moving from playing alone to only playing as a couple we encountered one person who made the comment of keeping their number in case things changed which in my eyes was disrespectful. Others were very different and acted unselfishly. We've been fairly quiet on fab as we've just been enjoying each other and fab isn't a big thing for us right now. That said we'd quite like to think we are approachable but after reading the comments above I'm thinking maybe we aren't for a variety of reasons.
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW
That last paragraph is it in a nutshell, you can stay friends but the other flirty side disappears. "
And that's going to affect the dynamic isn't it, if you're used to some flirt? |
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It's inevitable that conversations change on here once you're a couple. What you know interests one half may not the other. Or that you might be less comfortable being as upfront, e.g. If it was a female mate may say I'm having hormonal as hell and PMT is doing my nut in, but I would be more hesitant saying that if I hadn't interacted with the male as much.
I think when you become a couple, people take the average of how comfortable they are with you both and act accordingly. |
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"
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW
That last paragraph is it in a nutshell, you can stay friends but the other flirty side disappears.
And that's going to affect the dynamic isn't it, if you're used to some flirt? "
Definitely, for me anyway, I wouldn’t flirt just be general friends. |
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"Interesting topic. Has got me thinking to be fair. We are fairly new couple and the profile is much quieter compared to my previous singles one of course. I think guys will not message a female when they previously had done so because they don't think they'll get anywhere. I can't speak for females messaging a guy but personally i would be worried about the female half thinking I was only after their guy and trying to poach them off them. When moving from playing alone to only playing as a couple we encountered one person who made the comment of keeping their number in case things changed which in my eyes was disrespectful. Others were very different and acted unselfishly. We've been fairly quiet on fab as we've just been enjoying each other and fab isn't a big thing for us right now. That said we'd quite like to think we are approachable but after reading the comments above I'm thinking maybe we aren't for a variety of reasons.
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW "
This odd a really interesting read and as I have said in the thread that this wasn’t me complaining just thinking out loud.
I also feel that we are approachable and the fact that we both have photos up that it’s ok for the both is us for other people to look and in essence perv. After all we still maintain our own personalities.
Now you have got me thinking with of it was the other way around. How would I act towards that person?
*Beard* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW
That last paragraph is it in a nutshell, you can stay friends but the other flirty side disappears.
And that's going to affect the dynamic isn't it, if you're used to some flirt?
Definitely, for me anyway, I wouldn’t flirt just be general friends. "
Yeah friendzone for me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting topic. Has got me thinking to be fair. We are fairly new couple and the profile is much quieter compared to my previous singles one of course. I think guys will not message a female when they previously had done so because they don't think they'll get anywhere. I can't speak for females messaging a guy but personally i would be worried about the female half thinking I was only after their guy and trying to poach them off them. When moving from playing alone to only playing as a couple we encountered one person who made the comment of keeping their number in case things changed which in my eyes was disrespectful. Others were very different and acted unselfishly. We've been fairly quiet on fab as we've just been enjoying each other and fab isn't a big thing for us right now. That said we'd quite like to think we are approachable but after reading the comments above I'm thinking maybe we aren't for a variety of reasons.
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW
This odd a really interesting read and as I have said in the thread that this wasn’t me complaining just thinking out loud.
I also feel that we are approachable and the fact that we both have photos up that it’s ok for the both is us for other people to look and in essence perv. After all we still maintain our own personalities.
Now you have got me thinking with of it was the other way around. How would I act towards that person?
*Beard*"
But if people only knew one of you - they're then talking to a profile with one stranger and a friend. Can you see that even if your partner is approachable (and Tinder is!) that it makes it quite a different dynamic. |
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"Interesting topic. Has got me thinking to be fair. We are fairly new couple and the profile is much quieter compared to my previous singles one of course. I think guys will not message a female when they previously had done so because they don't think they'll get anywhere. I can't speak for females messaging a guy but personally i would be worried about the female half thinking I was only after their guy and trying to poach them off them. When moving from playing alone to only playing as a couple we encountered one person who made the comment of keeping their number in case things changed which in my eyes was disrespectful. Others were very different and acted unselfishly. We've been fairly quiet on fab as we've just been enjoying each other and fab isn't a big thing for us right now. That said we'd quite like to think we are approachable but after reading the comments above I'm thinking maybe we aren't for a variety of reasons.
I am now wondering what I'd have been like if someone I was talking became part of a couple. I think I would have been different and been a friend but would always be mindful of their relationship and not actively pursue them.
PW
This odd a really interesting read and as I have said in the thread that this wasn’t me complaining just thinking out loud.
I also feel that we are approachable and the fact that we both have photos up that it’s ok for the both is us for other people to look and in essence perv. After all we still maintain our own personalities.
Now you have got me thinking with of it was the other way around. How would I act towards that person?
*Beard*
But if people only knew one of you - they're then talking to a profile with one stranger and a friend. Can you see that even if your partner is approachable (and Tinder is!) that it makes it quite a different dynamic. "
Yes I completely can see that hence the question to start the conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope my comment didn't come across aggressive in any way. I wasn't meant that way at all. I know I write quite bluntly sometimes and bit everyone is OK with it.
PW |
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"I hope my comment didn't come across aggressive in any way. I wasn't meant that way at all. I know I write quite bluntly sometimes and bit everyone is OK with it.
PW "
Not at all. In fact the thread has been a very honest and mature discussion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope my comment didn't come across aggressive in any way. I wasn't meant that way at all. I know I write quite bluntly sometimes and bit everyone is OK with it.
PW
Not at all. In fact the thread has been a very honest and mature discussion "
It's a good question, I love the ones you have to think about and you certainly got me thinking.
Also it made me realise that we are probably too new for people to approach us.
I also agree with the friend and a stranger comments changing the dynamics.
PW |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"I hope my comment didn't come across aggressive in any way. I wasn't meant that way at all. I know I write quite bluntly sometimes and bit everyone is OK with it.
PW
Not at all. In fact the thread has been a very honest and mature discussion
It's a good question, I love the ones you have to think about and you certainly got me thinking.
Also it made me realise that we are probably too new for people to approach us.
I also agree with the friend and a stranger comments changing the dynamics.
PW "
I cam appreciate that if you're messaging the couples profile, but what if they still have single profiles? Does there have to be a change in the friends aspect of it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope my comment didn't come across aggressive in any way. I wasn't meant that way at all. I know I write quite bluntly sometimes and bit everyone is OK with it.
PW
Not at all. In fact the thread has been a very honest and mature discussion
It's a good question, I love the ones you have to think about and you certainly got me thinking.
Also it made me realise that we are probably too new for people to approach us.
I also agree with the friend and a stranger comments changing the dynamics.
PW
I cam appreciate that if you're messaging the couples profile, but what if they still have single profiles? Does there have to be a change in the friends aspect of it?"
I think maybe if you message a couple differently to how you message the on a single and it was seen on both by the one you weren't messaging as single it could be quite unsettling for them. Having that awareness may make someone change they way they message thinking it might get seen by the other. Depends on the context though I guess
PW |
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I think you get to find out true intentions when you become a couple and ‘platonic’ friends stop messaging.
A true friend would be happy for you and would embrace the other person. Someone who’s intentions are more will either drift away or come out of the woodwork (as a last shot at trying their luck).
I’m sure every couple on FAB, who were singles previously have seen ‘friends’ drift away…that might also be out of respect to give the relationship a chance but I feel a lot of it is down to them not being not seeing their side of the friendship as platonically as they make out.
K |
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I’m not really sure I’m grasping what your getting at , but .. now you (beard are in a couple I’d probably be more likely to communicate with you honestly rather than gruff manly stuff . I’ll also say ( if tinder, is tinder girl) the couples pictures are better and she is
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit !!! Score! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's inevitable that conversations change on here once you're a couple. What you know interests one half may not the other. Or that you might be less comfortable being as upfront, e.g. If it was a female mate may say I'm having hormonal as hell and PMT is doing my nut in, but I would be more hesitant saying that if I hadn't interacted with the male as much.
I think when you become a couple, people take the average of how comfortable they are with you both and act accordingly. "
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