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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I hate that I get so triggered by this term 
I mean I know guys are only using it with me because in their mind it's a way to compliment a bigger woman. But it just makes me cringe. I don't want to be defined by that, y'know?
I think part of it is maybe that I'm putting a conscious effort into being not as big, and being liked for something you want to change is a massive headfuck in itself.
Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to meet men who call me that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t mind describing myself as a BBE (enby) but when others do it I cringe lol. Any man that comes into my dms calling me a BBW gets instantly blocked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hate that I get so triggered by this term
I mean I know guys are only using it with me because in their mind it's a way to compliment a bigger woman. But it just makes me cringe. I don't want to be defined by that, y'know?
I think part of it is maybe that I'm putting a conscious effort into being not as big, and being liked for something you want to change is a massive headfuck in itself.
Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to meet men who call me that? "
Yep, I get you. However I find myself using the term on my profile as it "cuts to the chase" and let's people know "what's in the tin"
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I don't think you can necessarily help it that the term grates on you but it's so ubiquitous that it seems harsh to condemn men for using it.
Maybe tell them you have an aversion to it, give them another chance and bullet them if they ignore what you've said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although it does seem to be a term used in a sexual context, hadn't realised that it could cause offence. Infact when first heard it thought it was complimentary in a way, as Big woman ARE Beautiful xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's like BBC people see it as an acceptable term while often those being referred to find it offensive
Personally I think terms like these should be avoided "
Totally understand what Yr saying there,being cheeky though! I bet there's loads of guys would love to have a BBC  |
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I don't like it, but to be honest, it's better than guys messaging me saying they "want to have a go on a fatty" or they like "chubby girls" or "fat lasses", I find that more offensive.
I use the term BBW so guys know exactly what they're getting. I'm a big woman. I don't think I'm beautiful, so that part makes me feel a bit akward. I never blow smoke up my own arse, I say it like it is. I'm a fat middle-aged mum that jiggles and wobbles. Not sure what other polite terminology could be used instead of BBW? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not small think last time I weighed myself nearly 18 stone
Am six two with big hands and feet lol
My worry now is give up smoking two weeks ago don’t want to turn to food as second
I walk about twenty miles a day with job so hopefully on the right track  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What terminology would you like to use instead?bbw is polite and mostly used in a complimentary way.i prefer CBW curvaceous beautiful women maybe? "
Why use any terminology? This lady has some very clear photographs for all to see and any label on top of that seems unnecessary. She is what she is.
Where photos aren’t available, then perhaps some sort of description is necessary - it’s not perfect, but avoids embarrassment later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was just asking a question.i just say if I think someone is beautiful and tell them why I think so "
Yes, sorry - came across more adversarial than I meant - I’m sure you were being complimentary. It’s just that your post made me think why we (and I’ve used the term BBW in the past) need to describe what is clear in the photos - and I agree with you, what we see in the photos is a beautiful woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank god it's not just me. I absolutely hate been called bbw, for one I'm certainly not beautiful so that part feels so untrue. I always just say I'm very plus size and leave it that. Most men who message me though use the word curves or curvy. |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
Too thin, too fat, too short, too tall, too broad, too lean, man boobs, curvy ladies, etc. Why do we have to put a label on more curvaceous ladies? Everyone is so different and no one description is accurate in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was just asking a question.i just say if I think someone is beautiful and tell them why I think so
So stop at that... No need to mention size or body shape."
I don't but I don't think bbw is such a bad phrase either. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I hate that I get so triggered by this term
I mean I know guys are only using it with me because in their mind it's a way to compliment a bigger woman. But it just makes me cringe. I don't want to be defined by that, y'know?
I think part of it is maybe that I'm putting a conscious effort into being not as big, and being liked for something you want to change is a massive headfuck in itself.
Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to meet men who call me that? "
I don't use the term. I like you not the term 
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just going to say ladies, every single one of you who have posted so far are gorgeous, so don't deny the beautiful bit  "
100% (and including the author of that contribution!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We live in times where words get miss construed and are made to seem offensive when they are not.as long as the person is being respectful and not rude from what I hear that's a win on fab |
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I prefer to say curvy, voluptuous or buxom. I know I sound like an old pirate, but they seem more complimentary that Big Busty Woman. Saying that though my wife refers to herself as a Busty Wench, lol. |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
"I was just asking a question.i just say if I think someone is beautiful and tell them why I think so
So stop at that... No need to mention size or body shape.
I don't but I don't think bbw is such a bad phrase either."
Well it is a bad phrase if you think of it from the woman's point of view who doesn't like it. It could be a bit like saying you're beautiful despite your size and weight. A back handed compliment which will rile with some people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We live in times where words get miss construed and are made to seem offensive when they are not.as long as the person is being respectful and not rude from what I hear that's a win on fab "
Generally I agree with you - intent is all important. But two points are important here I think:
Firstly, with quite a bit of the communication on Fab, it can be difficult to judge intent. If a conversation ensued, there would be opportunity both for the man to make his intent clear, and for the lady to politely request the phrase isn’t used.
Secondly, the lady states that she is unhappy with her size, so to call it beautiful creates a disjoint in her thinking. So with the best will in the world, the fella will not make her feel good with such a compliment.
I come back to the fact that this woman has clear pics, and comment that adds something (e.g. “beautiful”) would seem to be constructive; whereas comment that just restates what everyone can see in the pics, is at best superfluous.
Like I said, I’ve used this term in the past (although not directly to a woman that I can recall), but I’m questioning that now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was just asking a question.i just say if I think someone is beautiful and tell them why I think so
So stop at that... No need to mention size or body shape.
I don't but I don't think bbw is such a bad phrase either.
Well it is a bad phrase if you think of it from the woman's point of view who doesn't like it. It could be a bit like saying you're beautiful despite your size and weight. A back handed compliment which will rile with some people. "
I don't actually use the term I don't like text talk but I didn't think it was thought of as offensive and allways viewed it as a complimentary thing |
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"I don't like it, but to be honest, it's better than guys messaging me saying they "want to have a go on a fatty" or they like "chubby girls" or "fat lasses", I find that more offensive.
I use the term BBW so guys know exactly what they're getting. I'm a big woman. I don't think I'm beautiful, so that part makes me feel a bit akward. I never blow smoke up my own arse, I say it like it is. I'm a fat middle-aged mum that jiggles and wobbles. Not sure what other polite terminology could be used instead of BBW? "
How rude! I hope you blocked them all, nasty wankers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was this BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I met in a wine bar,she told me a story about a little boy called johnny, he was mentioned in a book called 'The Gnownnads' it's about an indian and a cowboy....yee-hah said Mary.
NOT THE END |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What terminology would you like to use instead?bbw is polite and mostly used in a complimentary way.i prefer CBW curvaceous beautiful women maybe?
Why use any terminology? This lady has some very clear photographs for all to see and any label on top of that seems unnecessary. She is what she is.
Where photos aren’t available, then perhaps some sort of description is necessary - it’s not perfect, but avoids embarrassment later. "
Yes, perfectly worded  |
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Im not a fan of the term. But I wouldn't bash people for using the term. And although not my favourite term for the body types I'm generally attracted to I do find categories helpful in a pragmatic sense for finding what I'm looking for (the BBW photos section for me is a a great addition). It's not for me to judge how people wish to express themselves or a desire. Lots of other terms on here such as BBC too that personally I'm not a fan of. But we are a broad church here and safe freedom of expression is important. Especially on a site where numberous preferences, kinks and taboos are represented.
Mr |
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