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Are people generally becoming more selfish?
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By *UNCHBOX OP Man
over a year ago
folkestone |
I ask this as i noticed an article in one of the national newspapers this week about a tram in manchester where not one passenger offered to let a pregnant women have their seat, even when asked. And it seems visiting my local supermarket, more and more non disabled people are using disabled spaces in the car park.
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Interesting thread. I would hold open a door for anybody, whether old, young, male, female etc. It is just being civil, polite, humane.. whatever you want to call it. It is what makes human contact and interaction a pleasureable experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would say that because things are getting more and more expensive in life that sometimes you have to be.
not always the right thing but the saying 'look out for number one' is in most peoples mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting thread. I would hold open a door for anybody, whether old, young, male, female etc. It is just being civil, polite, humane.. whatever you want to call it. It is what makes human contact and interaction a pleasureable experience."
this I do also... But definitely ppl hav become more selfish... I think it's so sad, where will it end??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered. 
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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shopping center yesterday - Hubby stopped for a few seconds to hold a door open as there was a couple behind us that were close to the doors..
.
they walked up and opened the other door right next to the one hubby was holding open for them..  |
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Yes i think people are becoming more selfish and less respectful of others which is a great shame.
Words like 'gentlemanly' and 'chivalry' seem to be words that are now consigned to the waste bin.
I once held a door open for a young lady and to my amazement i was told by her that i was being sexist and that my action implied that she wasnt capable of opening a door herself.Ridiculous, but there you go !! |
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By *UNCHBOX OP Man
over a year ago
folkestone |
"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
"
I forgot to mention she was on crutches as well as being pregnant. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
"
From my own experience when I was heavily pregnant I had quite a lot of back ache when standing for any length of time and was greatful for any chance to sit down. From that experience I would always offer my seat to a (visibly) pregnant woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
From my own experience when I was heavily pregnant I had quite a lot of back ache when standing for any length of time and was greatful for any chance to sit down. From that experience I would always offer my seat to a (visibly) pregnant woman."
Lots of people who look fit have back problems though. |
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Hmm I don't know there have always been selfish people but I think it shows itself differently now. We have more to be selfish with now, most of us own more, want more and have more to hang on to.
A blames the recession and the fact that people are more suspicious of others for some of it.
I blame everyone but myself  |
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"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
"
I find it hard to understand why a woman would really need to ask this question....But then again maybe I'm not that surprised...
What a fucking country this is.... |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
4 months after the success of the Olympics and the smiles of the volunteers who gave their heart and souls for the nation
1 week after Children in Need and a record breaking figure during another year of recession
no there are so many great examples of selflessness |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
From my own experience when I was heavily pregnant I had quite a lot of back ache when standing for any length of time and was greatful for any chance to sit down. From that experience I would always offer my seat to a (visibly) pregnant woman.
Lots of people who look fit have back problems though."
Indeed they do. What I am saying is this : If it is somehow obvious to me that another person is having (more) difficulties standing than I might... then I will gladly give up my seat.
It is all relative... same when queuing. If I see somebody walking with difficulties or struggling in some way and they dont havea lot in their basket while my trolley is full to the brim I offer to let them go first.
It is not an absolute... it depends on the circumstances, the situation and my own needs of course. And I really do value gestures of kindness in others, too. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
I find it hard to understand why a woman would really need to ask this question....But then again maybe I'm not that surprised...
What a fucking country this is...."
For me thre is another aspect as well. I actually enjoy doing something for other people. No, I aint a saint, I am not Mother Theresa but I get a warm feeling from helping others when and where I can. |
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"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
From my own experience when I was heavily pregnant I had quite a lot of back ache when standing for any length of time and was greatful for any chance to sit down. From that experience I would always offer my seat to a (visibly) pregnant woman.
Lots of people who look fit have back problems though.Indeed they do. What I am saying is this : If it is somehow obvious to me that another person is having (more) difficulties standing than I might... then I will gladly give up my seat.
It is all relative... same when queuing. If I see somebody walking with difficulties or struggling in some way and they dont havea lot in their basket while my trolley is full to the brim I offer to let them go first.
It is not an absolute... it depends on the circumstances, the situation and my own needs of course. And I really do value gestures of kindness in others, too."
I think your _iews on the matter are perfectly normal and probably mirror the _iews of most people.... |
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"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
I find it hard to understand why a woman would really need to ask this question....But then again maybe I'm not that surprised...
What a fucking country this is....For me thre is another aspect as well. I actually enjoy doing something for other people. No, I aint a saint, I am not Mother Theresa but I get a warm feeling from helping others when and where I can. "
You are not alone... |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
From my own experience when I was heavily pregnant I had quite a lot of back ache when standing for any length of time and was greatful for any chance to sit down. From that experience I would always offer my seat to a (visibly) pregnant woman.
Lots of people who look fit have back problems though.Indeed they do. What I am saying is this : If it is somehow obvious to me that another person is having (more) difficulties standing than I might... then I will gladly give up my seat.
It is all relative... same when queuing. If I see somebody walking with difficulties or struggling in some way and they dont havea lot in their basket while my trolley is full to the brim I offer to let them go first.
It is not an absolute... it depends on the circumstances, the situation and my own needs of course. And I really do value gestures of kindness in others, too.
I think your _iews on the matter are perfectly normal and probably mirror the _iews of most people...."
Thanks |
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For me thre is another aspect as well. I actually enjoy doing something for other people. No, I aint a saint, I am not Mother Theresa but I get a warm feeling from helping others when and where I can.
Yes good point.I too get a real buzz from doing something nice for someone else whatever that may be
At a funeral last week as the coffin was being taken into the church, an eldery man, a complete stranger walking his dog removed his hat as he passed.A lovely gesture i thought showing deference and respect.We could all do with more of that i think !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i can do a little bit by giving someone else my seat or helping someone up the stairs with a pushchair i will.
My older children have all been bought up to do the same.
My mum brings my youngest granddaughter up on the train every other week...
Now she is disabled and with a 2 year old is allowed to sit in the disabled seats on trains.
So what do people do? You've got it they look the other way. So often she does over a 100 miles + stood up on crutches with a toddler  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
At a funeral last week as the coffin was being taken into the church, an eldery man, a complete stranger walking his dog removed his hat as he passed.A lovely gesture i thought showing deference and respect.We could all do with more of that i think !!"
Absolutely, lovely gesture!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"4 months after the success of the Olympics and the smiles of the volunteers who gave their heart and souls for the nation
1 week after Children in Need and a record breaking figure during another year of recession
no there are so many great examples of selflessness"
Aww View. That gives me hope. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there is a distinct lack of respect for fellow human beings.  "
your right.
and it just seems to get any respect you got to be aggressive.
i use to open doors for women and be a gentleman until one day i was called the c word by a woman i opened a door for.
only time people show you respect is when they know your not going to take shit and be fobbed off.
and thats really sad as its horrible to be like that. but if your a weak kind person your walked all over.
sad. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
" but if your a weak kind person your walked all over.
sad."
Do you think that people think of you as weak when you are kind towards them? You may be right that that is some people's perception. How wrong that would be though. |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
i would say its more manners that are lacking nowadays rather than people being selfish,not opening doors,letting people sit down its all to do with manners or lack of them
my Son has impeccable manners but his Son doesnt even know how to say please and thank you i find it quite distressing |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I think there is a distinct lack of respect for fellow human beings. "
I agree, these forums are a shining examples... People are wished dead, called shocking names due to careers, labelled deviants of the worst kind with no evidence...
We sadly reap what we sow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Theres a lack of manners, respect and laziness comes into it quite often, maybe im old fashioned but as an example, sat in a drive thru car park, seeing folks either bit by bit dropping their what they ate wrappers or my favourite, the whole contents neatly dropped out car window to the ground,,, when the bin is a whopping ten feet from the car !!!!
 |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"I ask this as i noticed an article in one of the national newspapers this week about a tram in manchester where not one passenger offered to let a pregnant women have their seat, even when asked. And it seems visiting my local supermarket, more and more non disabled people are using disabled spaces in the car park.
"
and disabled people useing the mum and child spots too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask this as i noticed an article in one of the national newspapers this week about a tram in manchester where not one passenger offered to let a pregnant women have their seat, even when asked. And it seems visiting my local supermarket, more and more non disabled people are using disabled spaces in the car park.
and disabled people useing the mum and child spots too "
Personally, cool with that, as mentioned,,laziness, usually plenty space further away from shop front areas, try that, kids get a wee walk, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ask this as i noticed an article in one of the national newspapers this week about a tram in manchester where not one passenger offered to let a pregnant women have their seat, even when asked. And it seems visiting my local supermarket, more and more non disabled people are using disabled spaces in the car park.
"
It is selfishness by proxy
1 is the product of a change in values (for many)
the other is an act of laziness
they are selfish by association as opposed to being deliberate
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love it when someone takes the time to say 'good morning' to me when just passing in the street.
It is so much nicer than just putting their head down and shuffling past like they haven't seen you coming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love it when someone takes the time to say 'good morning' to me when just passing in the street.
It is so much nicer than just putting their head down and shuffling past like they haven't seen you coming."
Morning Bussy..just passed your bedroom window..has your dog been sick? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love it when someone takes the time to say 'good morning' to me when just passing in the street.
It is so much nicer than just putting their head down and shuffling past like they haven't seen you coming.
Morning Bussy..just passed your bedroom window..has your dog been sick? Lol "
pmsl
yes he has
he his unphased by said episode and has been panned out ever since
however, i have remained awake and am now thinking it's time to get out and 'do stuff' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love it when someone takes the time to say 'good morning' to me when just passing in the street.
It is so much nicer than just putting their head down and shuffling past like they haven't seen you coming.
Morning Bussy..just passed your bedroom window..has your dog been sick? Lol
pmsl
yes he has
he his unphased by said episode and has been panned out ever since
however, i have remained awake and am now thinking it's time to get out and 'do stuff' "
Put kettle on then and I'll bring the paper and air freshner lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
"
Indeed it's not an illness, but I think more about what if the bus braked sharply and said pregnant female, elderly person, or mother holding a baby were to fall over and injure themselves? I'd much rather offer my seat and know that at least if it did brake sharply they'd be safer sitting down |
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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago
oldbury |
I do think people in general of all ages are ruder and more selfish these days. I get fed up of hearing old people running down younger people when they are the ones who barge past you in the queue for the bus or will just let doors slam on you as you walk up to it with arms full of shopping. People seem to be shocked by manners in this day and age. I was brought up to remember mine and will even say thank you to bus drivers when I get off a bus hold doors open and give up my seat. I would like it if once in a while I was thanked but it won't stop me doing it. |
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"
and it just seems to get any respect you got to be aggressive.
Rubbish. It's NOT ok to be aggressive you know....."
I agree. That's not respect it's fear or at best wariness and if that's what you want something ain't right.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. Most children- and they often are the offspring of those who should never, ever be reproducing- are rarely taught by parents to have manners and be nice to others because as a society, politeness and kindness is undervalued. Those children then have a knock-on effect to others taught to be polite and well mannered until that too disappears. |
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I dont think people are more selfish, i think you get to here more about the selfish than the unselfish. Ive actually had someone stand up on a busy tube to give jay a seat. Most of the time i go to birmingham station someone helps me down the steps with my bag. In fact most train stations i would say im helped more often than not. I have doors opened for me.
I come from a small community so i guess we tend to help each other out.
I could tell you lots of stories about selfless people. Maybe its in the cities or big areas. I do know when i had to stand for a man on the bus it was in Leicester and i guess people are generally more unfriendly in the cities or its just that they are rushing about more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find city people quite up their own arse and selfish. More-so than those living outside of one.
This doesn't mean they don't exist outside of the cities however. 
When I go to places like London I find the general ignorance of people towards their surroundings as rather puzzling.
I hate cities, especially big ones but thats not very productive of me when I want to be a construction specialist. |
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I've given up my seat to pregnant women whilst men have sat there pretending not to notice. I've also done the same for older people, whilst others have looked the other way.
I travel in with a colleague in the morning sometimes, he walks with a white stick and the amount of times he's almost been sent flying by people inpatiently pushing pass him to get on a train...a service that has trains running every four minutes in unbelievable.
Sad times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well we just live someplace these days. Few people choose where the live because of community reasons. I find most people I discuss this with mourn the loss of cohesive communities, shared efforts and projects. Life is nothing without people.
However, in a world where 'things' are so heavily marketed can we find a solution and rekindle the old cultures of craft n make n mend allowing us to run less and share these things?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting thread. I would hold open a door for anybody, whether old, young, male, female etc. It is just being civil, polite, humane.. whatever you want to call it. It is what makes human contact and interaction a pleasureable experience."
well said that woman |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I ask this as i noticed an article in one of the national newspapers this week about a tram in manchester where not one passenger offered to let a pregnant women have their seat, even when asked.
"
Going to my last day at work 29 years ago while seven and a half months pregnant was exactly the same, I stood for 45 minutes on a bus while people sat in the seats and avoided making eye contact incase I asked them could I sit.
Sounds like it is still happening.  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"why does a pregnant woman need a seat?
somebody else even though young could of been on their feet all day and knackered.
pregnancy is not an illness so they keep telling us and is avoidable these days.
also a lot of old people are fitter than some younger people.
"
Pregnant women are not ill, just like frail older people, but I wouldn't want then hanging on to a strap on a moving bus/ tram /train hile I was sat down, no matter how much my feet hurt.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well we just live someplace these days. Few people choose where the live because of community reasons. I find most people I discuss this with mourn the loss of cohesive communities, shared efforts and projects. Life is nothing without people.
However, in a world where 'things' are so heavily marketed can we find a solution and rekindle the old cultures of craft n make n mend allowing us to run less and share these things?
"
I know it looks off- subject but its really about learning to care again. I think we have become too insular. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
When making that split second decision of offering somebody my place, or letting them go before me in a queue or whatever... I go by how I would like my own parents/ sister/ brother and even kids to be treated if they were in need of some assistance, a chair, some attention. That's what guides me really - it is less about so called etiquette and more about just being human! |
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I was on a bus yesterday, there was already a couple with a buggy on one side and a lady of I'd guess around 60 ish was standing in the space on the opposite side even tho there were plenty of seats available on the bus. I couldn't collapse my buggy as the holding area already had a few bags in it so I had to turn it sideways and leave it stuck out in the middle of the aisle.
It was wobbling around as the bus was moving and people had to keep climbing over the front wheels to get on and off. The woman stood in the wheelchair/buggy space was getting caught by people going by and was huffing and puffing but still made no attempt to move and actually sit down.
Then an elderly lady in the seats behind went to get off and coz my buggy was sticking out she couldn't get her trolley past, she said 'I can't get through could you move for a sec' to the lady and the lady replied 'well I can't do anything about it' I've never heard anything so rude. So I lifted the trolley over the buggy and then held the ladies arm to steady her while she manoeuvred her way out!!
All the while the other lady was glaring at me and her like we were shit on her shoe!!! I don't normally say anything but Id had a crap day so just said 'we wouldn't have this problem if you sat in a seat you sour faced old bat' I felt a bit bad after coz I don't get annoyed like that but she really got on my tits!! X |
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"You only have to drive to notice how selfish people are getting! People wont even give way now when its their legal duty to do so."
You want to try driving in Portugal. British drivers are saints, compared to over there! |
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"You only have to drive to notice how selfish people are getting! People wont even give way now when its their legal duty to do so.
You want to try driving in Portugal. British drivers are saints, compared to over there!"
I don't drive but I get the same impression in Mexico! It was terrifying! Lol x |
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Selfish or impatient?
I tend to think that one of the negative sides of capitalism is to make you impatient and intolerant.
Capitalism always has to offer and promote a life style that is one step ahead of what the masses have already got so they desire it and purchase it to make the economy go around.
Got a new mobile phone.....? Here's an even better one you want... etc.
Regarding aggression... In the bad old days of the 1970's when men were men and sheep were scared; one could be beaten to a pulp in the street for wearing the wrong jacket. At least that's changed... |
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questions of morality like this always make me think of a speech that has always rang true with me.
find it here 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lgGh-kJMoo&feature=fvst
i like this ) it gives me hope |
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