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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heartache.
You just wanna talk to them but you can't.
Moments during the day it just hits you out of nowhere how much you actually miss them.
Unless you broke up because they were a total cunt in which case disregard the above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends why you broke up.
If they're a prick, the humiliation when you realise all of their lies that you believed were total fabrications.
If they're not a prick, it's the daydreaming that I usually miss. Can't plan out and daydream about future plans and adventures with them anymore.
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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago
Paisley Scotland |
"Heartache.
You just wanna talk to them but you can't.
Moments during the day it just hits you out of nowhere how much you actually miss them.
Unless you broke up because they were a total cunt in which case disregard the above. "
Love it it’s 100% correct xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you have questions but there are no answers
When there is stunned silence
As Compersion said … when there is no closure "
This is actually the worst.
The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough? |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Wales |
The emptiness of them not being in your life anymore.
The realisation they don’t love you the way you loved them.
The physical pain when you think of them. Makes your breath catch in your throat. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I think the kids impact is often a projection of the parents feelings of hopelessness , kids are fine if the parents make it work.they are often happier if the parents are happier apart.
It only happened to me once , many decades ago but that feeling waking up each day feeling physically sick, not being able to eat, not being able to enjoy anything, a couple of times I even had to get of the bus on the way to work and throw up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kids are surprisingly resilient, mines been great, made it like a big adventure for her, she picked all the furniture and stuff for her bedroom and can't wait to spend time here with me....splitting up with the ex wasn't emotional for me as she was abusive and I'd of put up with anything to be with my daughter everyday but having to give her back still brings me to tears sometimes (not in front of her!) Especially after the summer break when we've spent 2 weeks together  |
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"Sometimes losing the friends you both had "
This ^ it’s when you find out who your true friends are.
As for the other person, you’ve broke up for a reason (whether you did it or they did), even if don’t really understand why, you’ve got to move on quickly or else it will consume you & drag you down.
May sound harsh, but past history taught me a lesson and it’s the only way I know how to deal with it now. Slam that door and don’t look back, forwards is where life is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's quite a poignant question for me.
about 30 years ago go a dated a girl, we fell in love and got engaged to be married, then after 2 years together, she left me! I was heartbroken, and I've never forgotten her. just last week I found her on FB, and I contacted her. to cut a very long story short, she told me that she has be er loved anyone as she loved me. she said it was the biggest mistake she made ended it with me. she thinks about me often. and still loves me to day as I do her. she's with someone today but not happy. it hurts me to think at we cod of had a great life together |
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The good memories, especially if the break up is over infidelity or abuse. You can’t recall those happy days without knowing what is too come.
I remember my wedding day as a big mistake, rather than one of the best days of my life. |
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"When you have questions but there are no answers
When there is stunned silence
As Compersion said … when there is no closure
This is actually the worst.
The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?"
 this. |
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"When you have questions but there are no answers
When there is stunned silence
As Compersion said … when there is no closure
This is actually the worst.
The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?"
But you shouldn’t assume that, the breakup could be any number of reasons. It may not be about ‘you’ |
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"it's quite a poignant question for me.
about 30 years ago go a dated a girl, we fell in love and got engaged to be married, then after 2 years together, she left me! I was heartbroken, and I've never forgotten her. just last week I found her on FB, and I contacted her. to cut a very long story short, she told me that she has be er loved anyone as she loved me. she said it was the biggest mistake she made ended it with me. she thinks about me often. and still loves me to day as I do her. she's with someone today but not happy. it hurts me to think at we cod of had a great life together "
I bet that happens often …. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy. |
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I think a combo of all of the above.
Some of the hardest things for me with my experiences have been realising that there were lies involved in all of your memories, so you can’t even look back and remember fondly.
Realising that you really had meant nothing to them for some time and their loyalties have been with someone else for a while and you just didn’t realise. That betrayal is awful.
Then missing someone who isn’t giving you a second thought and feeling foolish for all of the above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the worst part about a breakup?
"
Knowing you weren’t good enough but I think that’s a bruised ego. Hate that initial gut wrenching period. Feels like someone died but they’re still here. I’ve had my heart broken a few times but now I know it does get better and the pain eventually goes. Just have to keep distracted and stay positive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy."
That's a positive thought. I do feel a great deal stronger after navigating a nasty split with my LTR. He's still an twat though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes losing the friends you both had
Especially when they feel obliged to take sides as is often the case "
I'm sure I does happen often, I know my case is no different then to many other people, but it still hurts. I sometimes think to myself how wonderful our life would of been is I'd only fought for her, instead I ran away to Europe to mend my broken heart |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you have questions but there are no answers
When there is stunned silence
As Compersion said … when there is no closure
This is actually the worst.
The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?
But you shouldn’t assume that, the breakup could be any number of reasons. It may not be about ‘you’ "
But when you don't even know why, then you just automatically think it's you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The way they treat you afterwards
Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger "
That is so confusing and saddening |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy."
The same applies when your partner dies. |
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"The way they treat you afterwards
Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger
That is so confusing and saddening "
Feels like they’ve pulled a shutter down and you’re on the outside of it. |
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"Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy.
The same applies when your partner dies. "
This must be awful. I’ve a few friends been through this and I can’t even imagine. Never been through any nasty break ups so cant really comment but this must be awful, especially if you have children too. Hugs xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The way they treat you afterwards
Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger
That is so confusing and saddening "
Sometimes it's easier for both parties to have a clean break and do it quickly. No let's be friends, no talking as it can drag things out and make it worse... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The way they treat you afterwards
Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger
That is so confusing and saddening
Sometimes it's easier for both parties to have a clean break and do it quickly. No let's be friends, no talking as it can drag things out and make it worse..."
If there is a mutual agreement it definitely is. And it is easier done if you don’t bump into each other on a regular basis as well. |
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"By talking I mean day to day stuff, talk about the break up yes, but I don't think an ex is the best person to look to for comfort "
They’re not, but sometimes they’re the only person that can help you understand what happened. If you have questions and no opportunity to ask them it’s very hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heartache.
You just wanna talk to them but you can't.
Moments during the day it just hits you out of nowhere how much you actually miss them.
Unless you broke up because they were a total cunt in which case disregard the above. "
And if it’s them that’s the total cunt and has let you develop a bond with her kids.
That’s the hardest part.
All because she couldn’t keep her legs closed and just used the other as a babysitter/cleaner/cash cow.
But it actually wasn’t her that I missed in the end.
It was the fun times with the kids.
But she’ll always be a cunt still. |
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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
The rather annoying fact that time is the greatest healer and there's no quick fix.
Well besides the tempory fix of having sex with another person. But that's like a bandage for a deep wound.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The rather annoying fact that time is the greatest healer and there's no quick fix.
Well besides the tempory fix of having sex with another person. But that's like a bandage for a deep wound.
"
I'm all for the bandages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That it's never clean
So much is always left unresolved, so many questions left unanswered, namely the when did we actually breakup? vs the official acknowledgement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the lost and loneliness. The memories you had the time spent with each other. 16 months ago me and my partner broken up after being together for 20 years since we were young teens. I'm still struggling with it all. We used to be swingers too. Maybe one day will find someone and make new memories. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The rather annoying fact that time is the greatest healer and there's no quick fix.
Well besides the tempory fix of having sex with another person. But that's like a bandage for a deep wound.
I'm all for the bandages. "
I tried a bandage once. I cried. Not a good look  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you have kids, being forced to be nice to someone that acts like an even bigger twat than they did when you were together whilst also finding out that the "one night stand" was in fact a litany of sexual predative behaviour for most of your time together not even excluding having a crack at your best mate  Gets worse when the God-awful thought that your first child could actually be the result of an overlap when you first started seeing each other |
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I changed my password a few days ago. 