FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is being bi a turn off for straight women?
Is being bi a turn off for straight women?
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot " So if people don’t meet you they’re bigots?  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though " What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though " Why might she "not like the idea"? What assumptions is that "preference" based on? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Hi I love having sex with men and women but is seeing “Bi” on a profile a turn off for women? Is that a sexual health thing? or something else else? Would love to read opinions." I used to be one of those women I’m deeply ashamed to say! And yes it was a sexual health thing and yes I realise now that it was bigotry and making assumptions based on sexuality! I learnt the error of my ways though and I now don’t even pay attention to whether someone is straight or bi! So for me it’s not offputting. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. " That’s based on a bigoted attitude. If it’s a one on one meet, what difference does it make who they’ve slept with before? It only makes a difference because the person is making assumptions based on that same sex act which is bigotry. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot So if people don’t meet you they’re bigots? "If it’s because they are homophobic. Yes. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. That’s based on a bigoted attitude. If it’s a one on one meet, what difference does it make who they’ve slept with before? It only makes a difference because the person is making assumptions based on that same sex act which is bigotry. "  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though Why might she "not like the idea"? What assumptions is that "preference" based on? " Spin the question. Does me not liking the idea of sleeping with men or choosing to not watch gay porn make me a homophobe? These terms and labels, despite the entire site being 'apparently' so open-minded and anti-label, are thrown around so liberally to make people either feel bad, or paint somebody as something they are not. It's like if you make a choice that does not conform, you get lynched by the mob on here who are trying to blend in and impress. There is NOTHING biphobic about choosing not to sleep with a bi person. It's just a choice. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. That’s based on a bigoted attitude. If it’s a one on one meet, what difference does it make who they’ve slept with before? It only makes a difference because the person is making assumptions based on that same sex act which is bigotry. " It's not a fucking prejudice. It's a choice. Honestly you're blurring the lines of what is a really fucking nasty term reserved for nasty people, and someone making a choice | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes." Precisely | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" Spin the question. Does me not liking the idea of sleeping with men or choosing to not watch gay porn make me a homophobe? " False equivalency at its best! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though Why might she "not like the idea"? What assumptions is that "preference" based on? Spin the question. Does me not liking the idea of sleeping with men or choosing to not watch gay porn make me a homophobe? These terms and labels, despite the entire site being 'apparently' so open-minded and anti-label, are thrown around so liberally to make people either feel bad, or paint somebody as something they are not. It's like if you make a choice that does not conform, you get lynched by the mob on here who are trying to blend in and impress. There is NOTHING biphobic about choosing not to sleep with a bi person. It's just a choice. " I didn't call anyone a homophobe. I asked a question which you haven't actually answered. A woman who doesn't wish to sleep with a man solely because he also sleeps with men - how is that the same as a man who chooses not to sleep with men? They're totally different scenarios. That's a straw man argument. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes." No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone. "That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. That’s based on a bigoted attitude. If it’s a one on one meet, what difference does it make who they’ve slept with before? It only makes a difference because the person is making assumptions based on that same sex act which is bigotry. It's not a fucking prejudice. It's a choice. Honestly you're blurring the lines of what is a really fucking nasty term reserved for nasty people, and someone making a choice " You’re making the assumption of value attached. I’m just saying that making a choice based on someone’s sexuality on a one on one situation is bigotry. A lot of people are bigots, racists and prejudiced. The real issue is that they get defensive and refuse to do anything about it when the attitudes are called out. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots."It's a big jump to get to "women have to have sex with people" don't you think? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes." Straw man. If the only reason that they don’t want sex with a person is because they’re bisexual, then that’s a bigoted attitude. If you’re more afraid of being called bigoted than actually being bigoted, then that says a lot about you. And no. No one has to have sex with anyone | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes." No. Not at all. Everyone is entitled to sleep with who they want. But if their rationale for not wanting to sleep with a bi man is purely down to a belief that bi men are in some way dirty or in any way different physically to a straight male then yes, that is a case of biphobia, much like someone stating they won't meet all people of of a certain ethnicity is an example of racism. It's the motivation and reasoning that classifies something as a phobia. Attraction isn't linked at all. A | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
It's a big jump to get to "women have to have sex with people" don't you think? "Isn’t that not what the subject is about? People choosing who they meet for sex? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots."That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's personal choice at the end of the day it's not something that needs a label attached to it. Most men I meet are Straight, but that doesn't mean to say I haven't met a Bi guy in the past or even joined in with a MMF scenario...... It's choice! " Exactly this | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. That’s based on a bigoted attitude. If it’s a one on one meet, what difference does it make who they’ve slept with before? It only makes a difference because the person is making assumptions based on that same sex act which is bigotry. It's not a fucking prejudice. It's a choice. Honestly you're blurring the lines of what is a really fucking nasty term reserved for nasty people, and someone making a choice You’re making the assumption of value attached. I’m just saying that making a choice based on someone’s sexuality on a one on one situation is bigotry. A lot of people are bigots, racists and prejudiced. The real issue is that they get defensive and refuse to do anything about it when the attitudes are called out. " Absolute nonsense, because someone has a choice you label them as a Bigot. Maybe people just don't want too, that's perfectly acceptable you know. Fab at its finest with a mindset of labelling people like this. Unless everyone agrees with this view then we have to label them for not agreeing  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… " Literally this. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to."No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot " This too
Reasons for not meeting bi people are almost always rooted in biphobic/ homophobic myths. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… " A phobia is a _debilitating_ fear of something. Labelling things as phobias (transphobia, biphobia, whatever phobia) and then equating it to bigotry demeans the word phobia. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to.
No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive.
"How can you not be attracted to the fact that someone *also* sleeps with someone of the same sex?  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to.
No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive.
"So close... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… A phobia is a _debilitating_ fear of something. Labelling things as phobias (transphobia, biphobia, whatever phobia) and then equating it to bigotry demeans the word phobia. " No because transphobia, biphobia or homophobia are not defined of fears of sexuality are they? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't class myself as straight but I am a women who loves bi-men, a 3some with 2 bi-guys is so much fun. " Oh it so is!  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to.
No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive.
"They’re not labelled bigots, they literally are. I’m sorry that you don’t like the term or calling people that but it’s what it is | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… A phobia is a _debilitating_ fear of something. Labelling things as phobias (transphobia, biphobia, whatever phobia) and then equating it to bigotry demeans the word phobia. " The etymology of words has nothing to do with anything. Look at Television. Words mean different things from the sum of their parts | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't class myself as straight but I am a women who loves bi-men, a 3some with 2 bi-guys is so much fun. Oh it so is! "Are we actually talking about the OP? They really are! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Strewth. This fucking place and your labels. "  . Like a different planet isn’t it. Before I even looked at this thread I knew exactly who’d be on here throwing their name calling about. I wasn’t wrong. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 I’m not a bigot, neither is my husband; our preference is straight men and I’m comfortable with that. It’s not a reflection of our characters.
In our experience of being contacted by bi guys, they almost always ask if there’s any chance of a dabble with Mr too. We just prefer to avoid any awkwardness if there’s an attempt of sneaky touching.
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Strewth. This fucking place and your labels. . Like a different planet isn’t it. Before I even looked at this thread I knew exactly who’d be on here throwing their name calling about. I wasn’t wrong. "Yep. The same old bigots  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Oh my days I’m not a bigot, neither is my husband; our preference is straight men and I’m comfortable with that. It’s not a reflection of our characters.
In our experience of being contacted by bi guys, they almost always ask if there’s any chance of a dabble with Mr too. We just prefer to avoid any awkwardness if there’s an attempt of sneaky touching.
"Wow | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to.
No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive.
They’re not labelled bigots, they literally are.
I’m sorry that you don’t like the term or calling people that but it’s what it is"Classic case of gas lighting. if a person chose not to meet someone who was into watersports or S&M, would that make them a bigot? Some people are just not turned on by people who have same sexual relationships and don’t want to meet them. Calling them names and labelling them bigots just sounds desperate. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes." Yes, I agree with you entirely; men or women may not want to have sex with me or even like me but it doesn't mean that they are 'transphobic', which is an increasingly ridiculous word used to bully people who don't accept trendy nonsense. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No-one has said women have to sleep with anyone.
That’s precisely what’s being implied as if they don’t they’re accused of being bigots.
That's really not what is being said. If a man who is wonderfully attractive and ticks all your boxes reveals he is bi and your attraction to him ceases I think it's safe to say there is a great whacking dose of prejudice at play. Nobody is saying anyone should sleep with someone they're not attracted to.
No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive.
They’re not labelled bigots, they literally are.
I’m sorry that you don’t like the term or calling people that but it’s what it is
Classic case of gas lighting.
if a person chose not to meet someone who was into watersports or S&M, would that make them a bigot?
Some people are just not turned on by people who have same sexual relationships and don’t want to meet them. Calling them names and labelling them bigots just sounds desperate. "There’s a big difference between, for example, not wanting to play tennis with someone (because you don’t like tennis) And excluding that person from other things because they plan tennis (without you even involved) I agree, everyone do what they want. But I still think it’s bigoted and rooted in homophobia Weirdly enough, it’s usually much older women that have these views in my experience | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"This thread...oh boy. We've got a ton of hang ups about sexuality, masculinity and sexism in our society so good luck navigating this. Yes it puts some women off. Reasons I've seen boil down to it not being 'manly' or not a 'real man', see also any bollocks about being 'alpha'. The assumption is that sleeping with men is displaying feminity as a man and that is bad because sexism. If a woman doesn't like bi men then I'm also not interested in them so no personal loss. My preference is bi women anyway, it's a big green flag about sexuality and probably gender identity." A couple told me they couldn’t trust me to not try shag the mr As if being Bi means ill fuck any man, consent or not | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"This thread...oh boy. We've got a ton of hang ups about sexuality, masculinity and sexism in our society so good luck navigating this. Yes it puts some women off. Reasons I've seen boil down to it not being 'manly' or not a 'real man', see also any bollocks about being 'alpha'. The assumption is that sleeping with men is displaying feminity as a man and that is bad because sexism. If a woman doesn't like bi men then I'm also not interested in them so no personal loss. My preference is bi women anyway, it's a big green flag about sexuality and probably gender identity. A couple told me they couldn’t trust me to not try shag the mr As if being Bi means ill fuck any man, consent or not " Just your everyday homophobia | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… A phobia is a _debilitating_ fear of something. Labelling things as phobias (transphobia, biphobia, whatever phobia) and then equating it to bigotry demeans the word phobia. " Quite right, but I fear that we are fighting a losing etymological battle over that! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Hi I love having sex with men and women but is seeing “Bi” on a profile a turn off for women? Is that a sexual health thing? or something else else? Would love to read opinions." For some women It’s a sexual health thing. For others it might be reasons others have listed above. Any of those reasons someone will come back at them as to why they’re wrong in those opinions though so at the end of the day. At the end of the day choose women who are happy to sleep with you regardless of your sexuality , I’m sure there are plenty of them on here. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No one owes anyone any explanation on who they choose to have sex with. If others make assumptions about their choices I feel that says more about their narrow world view, or they can't handle rejection." I agree with you. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not bigotry, lol! It's a preference. A woman might not like the idea of fucking someone who fucks guys. She might wholeheartedly like the person, though What you’ve described is biphobia and is what makes someone a bigot… A phobia is a _debilitating_ fear of something. Labelling things as phobias (transphobia, biphobia, whatever phobia) and then equating it to bigotry demeans the word phobia. " I think you have misinterpreted/misappropriated the definitions somewhat. Whilst originally used in a medical context, they have entered wider society and language, with more adapted and specific nuances. Aversion is perhaps a little better than 'fear', which they were often thought of. We do all have choices and preferences. It's what's behind those that's at stake and has driven this discussion. For some it will be because of bigotry - not all those with bigotry will be in faithful, monogamous relationships. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think anyone who might say why they don’t want to would potentially be attacked for their opinion and told they’re wrong. " If their reasons as to why falls under the definition of bigotry then it's simply a fact that they are a bigot. It's really that simple. Just like if someone has blond hair then they can be referred to as blond | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think anyone who might say why they don’t want to would potentially be attacked for their opinion and told they’re wrong. If their reasons as to why falls under the definition of bigotry then it's simply a fact that they are a bigot. It's really that simple. Just like if someone has blond hair then they can be referred to as blond" Is there any reason that wouldn’t fall under bigotry or misinformation? Just wondering. He’s asked the question, I don’t think anyone wants to answer for fear of being attacked for their reasoning. I could say sexual health reasons but I’ll be told I’m wrong. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Didn’t realise I opened up Pandora’s box.I personally have no hang ups on what women do or don’t do. As they say “it’s a free country” not once has a woman messaged me and then said “oh your bi” in fact it’s been a turn on for them. Sorry if this thread has upset anyone "Well said; nothing to apologise for, each to their own. If gay men choose not to have sex with bisexual men that is their choice too. Some women like men being bisexual, others don't; so what? I must admit that I have never heard of a man not wanting to have sex with a bisexual woman, however, but I think that says more about male sexuality and sexual appetite than a lack of bigotry! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think anyone who might say why they don’t want to would potentially be attacked for their opinion and told they’re wrong. If their reasons as to why falls under the definition of bigotry then it's simply a fact that they are a bigot. It's really that simple. Just like if someone has blond hair then they can be referred to as blond Is there any reason that wouldn’t fall under bigotry or misinformation? Just wondering. He’s asked the question, I don’t think anyone wants to answer for fear of being attacked for their reasoning. I could say sexual health reasons but I’ll be told I’m wrong. " No one owes anyone their reasons for their sexual choices. Demanding them is classic entitlement and assuming them is classic prejudice (pre judgement). | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think anyone who might say why they don’t want to would potentially be attacked for their opinion and told they’re wrong. If their reasons as to why falls under the definition of bigotry then it's simply a fact that they are a bigot. It's really that simple. Just like if someone has blond hair then they can be referred to as blond Is there any reason that wouldn’t fall under bigotry or misinformation? Just wondering. He’s asked the question, I don’t think anyone wants to answer for fear of being attacked for their reasoning. I could say sexual health reasons but I’ll be told I’m wrong. " I get that. I don't write someone off based on one character trait. Nobody is perfect. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think anyone who might say why they don’t want to would potentially be attacked for their opinion and told they’re wrong. If their reasons as to why falls under the definition of bigotry then it's simply a fact that they are a bigot. It's really that simple. Just like if someone has blond hair then they can be referred to as blond Is there any reason that wouldn’t fall under bigotry or misinformation? Just wondering. He’s asked the question, I don’t think anyone wants to answer for fear of being attacked for their reasoning. I could say sexual health reasons but I’ll be told I’m wrong. No one owes anyone their reasons for their sexual choices. Demanding them is classic entitlement and assuming them is classic prejudice (pre judgement)." Exactly this .. I won't be made to feel guilty regarding my preferences.. I'm bi but not attracted to trans people .. Am I Transphobic because of this .. No of course not .. But I'm sure someone will be along to correct me as I clearly know nothing about myself whatsoever  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"In.my experience some woman like bi men some.dont like bi men, their choice and we have to both accept it and respect it , as simple as that, no questions no wondering "Yes exactly this .. It really should be that simple | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"In.my experience some woman like bi men some.dont like bi men, their choice and we have to both accept it and respect it , as simple as that, no questions no wondering "Surely you realise that the sanity, decency, and politeness that you display and suggest will get you nowhere on here! You will be lucky not to be howled down by the mob! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"In.my experience some woman like bi men some.dont like bi men, their choice and we have to both accept it and respect it , as simple as that, no questions no wondering
Yes exactly this ..
It really should be that simple "Of course it should be, but what would the self-righteous virtue signalling lynch mob do with themselves then? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"In.my experience some woman like bi men some.dont like bi men, their choice and we have to both accept it and respect it , as simple as that, no questions no wondering
Yes exactly this ..
It really should be that simple
Of course it should be, but what would the self-righteous virtue signalling lynch mob do with themselves then? "Best not say haha | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Are bi women ever turned down by a straight couple? I'm pretty certain they would be, in fact I know of a couple of straight women who would not want a bi woman in bed with them, even to play straight! Being bi myself I totally accept their preference, I don't feel any prejudice from them, it's their choice. Some people feel physically sick at the thought of same sex fucking, and while I don't have the same thought process or agree with their opinions I respect their choice. I wouldn't sleep with someone with a foot fetish ffs! Even if I thought they were the sexiest person ever! Totally unreasonable but my choice! Cherry x "I don't have a Foot Fetish | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Are bi women ever turned down by a straight couple? I'm pretty certain they would be, in fact I know of a couple of straight women who would not want a bi woman in bed with them, even to play straight! Being bi myself I totally accept their preference, I don't feel any prejudice from them, it's their choice. Some people feel physically sick at the thought of same sex fucking, and while I don't have the same thought process or agree with their opinions I respect their choice. I wouldn't sleep with someone with a foot fetish ffs! Even if I thought they were the sexiest person ever! Totally unreasonable but my choice! Cherry x
I don't have a Foot Fetish "You've gone up in my expectations this morning Fucknugget
Cherry x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Are bi women ever turned down by a straight couple? I'm pretty certain they would be, in fact I know of a couple of straight women who would not want a bi woman in bed with them, even to play straight! Being bi myself I totally accept their preference, I don't feel any prejudice from them, it's their choice. Some people feel physically sick at the thought of same sex fucking, and while I don't have the same thought process or agree with their opinions I respect their choice. I wouldn't sleep with someone with a foot fetish ffs! Even if I thought they were the sexiest person ever! Totally unreasonable but my choice! Cherry x
I don't have a Foot Fetish
You've gone up in my expectations this morning Fucknugget
Cherry x"Thought I'd try and lighten the mood somewhat  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think anyone who might say why they don’t want to would potentially be attacked for their opinion and told they’re wrong. If their reasons as to why falls under the definition of bigotry then it's simply a fact that they are a bigot. It's really that simple. Just like if someone has blond hair then they can be referred to as blond Is there any reason that wouldn’t fall under bigotry or misinformation? Just wondering. He’s asked the question, I don’t think anyone wants to answer for fear of being attacked for their reasoning. I could say sexual health reasons but I’ll be told I’m wrong. No one owes anyone their reasons for their sexual choices. Demanding them is classic entitlement and assuming them is classic prejudice (pre judgement)." So the people being treated with bigotry are entitled and prejudiced themselves? It’s not demanded that anyone gives reasons but when those reasons are based in bigotry, as is the case here, then it’s fairly simple. No one likes having their own prejudices called out, no one likes being told that they carry latent racist or bigoted views but many do. I think that it’s important to call it out, that’s how we learn and grow. Pretending that it’s not a thing is myopic. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"This thread...oh boy. We've got a ton of hang ups about sexuality, masculinity and sexism in our society so good luck navigating this. Yes it puts some women off. Reasons I've seen boil down to it not being 'manly' or not a 'real man', see also any bollocks about being 'alpha'. The assumption is that sleeping with men is displaying feminity as a man and that is bad because sexism. If a woman doesn't like bi men then I'm also not interested in them so no personal loss. My preference is bi women anyway, it's a big green flag about sexuality and probably gender identity. A couple told me they couldn’t trust me to not try shag the mr As if being Bi means ill fuck any man, consent or not " Of course no-one should assume that, but as with single men in general - some bi-guys aren't helping the cause judging by the comment from the couple further up. Which is a real shame because every bisexual man I've ever known would never ever try it on with a man he knew was straight.  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Like everything, it depends on the guy. Honestly, sometimes it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable, maybe down to insecurity more than anything else, like thinking would they rather be in bed with another guy? What are they getting out of this... If all the veris are from men, it makes me wonder where their mindset is at. And obviously the sexual health side of things, but that would be the same if they'd had numerous partners of the opposite sex. " Would that insecurity be the same about women too though? I am filled with insecurity but if a guy is with me, I kinda hope it's because he wants ME not some other random man or woman. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Hi I love having sex with men and women but is seeing “Bi” on a profile a turn off for women? Is that a sexual health thing? or something else else? Would love to read opinions. I used to be one of those women I’m deeply ashamed to say! And yes it was a sexual health thing and yes I realise now that it was bigotry and making assumptions based on sexuality! I learnt the error of my ways though and I now don’t even pay attention to whether someone is straight or bi! So for me it’s not offputting. " Really good to see someone take that journey and come out the other side. What is and isn’t bigotry is always going to be a minefield when it comes to sex (or any sort of body autonomy issue). Of course people will have personal preferences, and of course no one should ever be pressured to do anything with someone they don’t want to… … but when those preferences are based solely on the other person’s sexuality (or race, or disability, or them being trans, etc.), then it’s probably something the person should consider, like you did.  
It is a minefield though, because it’s a difficult position to articulate blurring personal preference and autonomy with generalisations, assumptions and prejudice about particular groups. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being bi wouldn’t put me off at all if I like the guy.. what does is when I don’t like them and they assume it’s because they’re bi "That’s a fair point, but looking at the thread above - when you hear “I wouldn’t sleep with bi guys” all the time, it’s difficult to put that out of your mind. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being bi wouldn’t put me off at all if I like the guy.. what does is when I don’t like them and they assume it’s because they’re bi
That’s a fair point, but looking at the thread above - when you hear “I wouldn’t sleep with bi guys” all the time, it’s difficult to put that out of your mind. "Oh I absolutely get that.. On my profile not long ago I was actively welcoming offers from bi men for a bi mmf.. I took it off because more than once I got something along the lines of “Is it because I’m bi/sleep with men?” In response to my no thanks Ridiculous really when that was the point/what I’d asked for  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being bi wouldn’t put me off at all if I like the guy.. what does is when I don’t like them and they assume it’s because they’re bi
That’s a fair point, but looking at the thread above - when you hear “I wouldn’t sleep with bi guys” all the time, it’s difficult to put that out of your mind.
Oh I absolutely get that.. On my profile not long ago I was actively welcoming offers from bi men for a bi mmf.. I took it off because more than once I got something along the lines of “Is it because I’m bi/sleep with men?” In response to my no thanks Ridiculous really when that was the point/what I’d asked for "Yes. The “you can please some of the people some of the time…” rule was torn up when they invented Fab! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The key word is CHOICE, people can choose their own preferences surely without being labelled." Not here they can't | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The key word is CHOICE, people can choose their own preferences surely without being labelled." I know a man, now retried, that refused to hire black people at his company. His choice completely. It was also my choice to give him a label. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive. " I don't find the idea of someone taking a shit attractive. I'm going to have to be celibate for life  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot " Absoulutley not! I am no bigot! But it puts me of tbh wonder how invested there really are in meeting women! Nothing to do with being dirty! Have indeed met with and had fun with bi guys! X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot Absoulutley not! I am no bigot! But it puts me of tbh wonder how invested there really are in meeting women! Nothing to do with being dirty! Have indeed met with and had fun with bi guys! X" If they agree to meet you then they are invested surely? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here" You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" No, but they are labelled bigots. Because their is an element to that person that they don’t find attractive. I don't find the idea of someone taking a shit attractive. I'm going to have to be celibate for life " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here" We straights are just as bad with the bareback trust me! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot Absoulutley not! I am no bigot! But it puts me of tbh wonder how invested there really are in meeting women! Nothing to do with being dirty! Have indeed met with and had fun with bi guys! X If they agree to meet you then they are invested surely?" To a degree yes! X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Makes no odds….. you have no idea what anyone gets up to - tinder, grinder etc etc. The nice lady/gentleman you’re chatting to right now could be involved in anything when they are not posting nonsense on here. "Surely not..... Verifications are 100% proof of everyone they did (and didn't) shag..... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here We straights are just as bad with the bareback trust me! " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Makes no odds….. you have no idea what anyone gets up to - tinder, grinder etc etc. The nice lady/gentleman you’re chatting to right now could be involved in anything when they are not posting nonsense on here.
Surely not.....
Verifications are 100% proof of everyone they did (and didn't) shag....."Silly me - what was I thinking | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! " It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. " absolutely. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! " For clarity - I meant not just queer folk engaging in risks. Non queer risks higher in some circumstances because it’s so latent. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot So if people don’t meet you they’re bigots?
If it’s because they are homophobic. Yes. "Some gay guys don't want sex with bi guys. Is that homophobic too? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot So if people don’t meet you they’re bigots?
If it’s because they are homophobic. Yes.
Some gay guys don't want sex with bi guys. Is that homophobic too?
"There is such a word as biphobia? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. " I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here We straights are just as bad with the bareback trust me! "Yes but this thread is about Bi men. I'd say exactly the same about straight men on a straight mans thread Steve... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here We straights are just as bad with the bareback trust me!
Yes but this thread is about Bi men. I'd say exactly the same about straight men on a straight mans thread Steve..."Is that an invite to start one | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! For clarity - I meant not just queer folk engaging in risks. Non queer risks higher in some circumstances because it’s so latent. " Sorry I meant to add to your comment rather than that I thought it was you who needed reminding. Sorry for any misunderstanding. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! " How do you know that I don't do that... the OP asked a question regarding Bi men and I answered it from my viewpoint on Bi men... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! For clarity - I meant not just queer folk engaging in risks. Non queer risks higher in some circumstances because it’s so latent. Sorry I meant to add to your comment rather than that I thought it was you who needed reminding. Sorry for any misunderstanding. " no worries - it was me that was unclear to start with! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Old homophobic notions that bi/gay men are dirty and can’t control themselves Consider it a great filter. If she don’t meet bi guys, you’ve done yourself a favour by not meeting a bigot So if people don’t meet you they’re bigots?
If it’s because they are homophobic. Yes.
Some gay guys don't want sex with bi guys. Is that homophobic too?
"No but it can be biphobia. I've unfortunately experienced biphobia from lesbians too. Apparently dick is that contaminating. I mean I get it but ouch . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I actually prefer bisexual men. Might be because I’m bisexual myself, enjoy sharing and being shared. It also makes it easier to talk about having a more flexible sexuality when my partner is the same. It’s not a necessity though. " And for clarity, I insist that ALL partners, no matter their sexuality practise safe sex and are regularly tested regardless of orientation. I’m actually surprised this doesn’t do without saying… | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO "Right!? So are the blood bank apparently . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Hi I love having sex with men and women but is seeing “Bi” on a profile a turn off for women? Is that a sexual health thing? or something else else? Would love to read opinions." I have no problem but as Paul is straight it may cause bi men a problem. I'm a bi sexual lady but wouldn't dream of jumping on a lady who describes herself as bi. I can control myself but tend not to meet couples were the lady is straight but happy to meet single men who are bi but can play straight, if that makes any sense. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO
Right!? So are the blood bank apparently . " Anyone would swear we were still in the 80’s .. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. Yes, I agree with you entirely; men or women may not want to have sex with me or even like me but it doesn't mean that they are 'transphobic', which is an increasingly ridiculous word used to bully people who don't accept trendy nonsense." So what are you referring to as a “ Trendy nonsense “ ? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! How do you know that I don't do that... the OP asked a question regarding Bi men and I answered it from my viewpoint on Bi men..." Fair enough. It’s been a thread of me being confused about what I and others mean, so at least it’s on brand! I meant no offence. Just as you presumably didn’t mean any offence by perpetuating the “bi men are disease vectors” trope in the subtext! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO
Right!? So are the blood bank apparently . Anyone would swear we were still in the 80’s .."Not really. Blood donation centres no longer have any specific rules for gay or bisexual men. Rather all potential donors are asked the same questions about recent sexual behaviour and the same rules apply to all genders regarding anal sex, for example, which does carry a proven higher risk of infection. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! How do you know that I don't do that... the OP asked a question regarding Bi men and I answered it from my viewpoint on Bi men... Fair enough. It’s been a thread of me being confused about what I and others mean, so at least it’s on brand! I meant no offence. Just as you presumably didn’t mean any offence by perpetuating the “bi men are disease vectors” trope in the subtext! "Again... it's a Bi men thread...would it be easier for you if I just said humans are disease vectors instead of answering the OP.... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! How do you know that I don't do that... the OP asked a question regarding Bi men and I answered it from my viewpoint on Bi men... Fair enough. It’s been a thread of me being confused about what I and others mean, so at least it’s on brand! I meant no offence. Just as you presumably didn’t mean any offence by perpetuating the “bi men are disease vectors” trope in the subtext!
Again... it's a Bi men thread...would it be easier for you if I just said humans are disease vectors instead of answering the OP...."The OP queried the “no bi men” rule often found in profiles and asked if it was a sexual health thing. You confirmed your reservations about bi men are based in sexual health concerns. If you had no particular reservations or concerns about bi men, one might expect your response to be “I have no particular reservations or concerns about bi men”. If the original post was “I’ve seen lots of profiles saying they don’t sleep with Swedish men, is that a personal hygiene thing”, and you replied “when I sleep with Swedish men, I always make them shower first”… one might draw an inference that you thought Swedish hunks need a good wash. If any Swedish men are offended by this, I apologise for drawing you into my ad absurdum continuation of this discussion. I chose your fine and pleasantly fragrant brethren purely because I’ve never heard your hygiene questioned in any racist tropes. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Hi I love having sex with men and women but is seeing “Bi” on a profile a turn off for women? Is that a sexual health thing? or something else else? Would love to read opinions." Reality is to a lot of women it is a turn off. 1/2 the guys who contact me here either state that their straight or don’t state their looking for trans women on their profiles. When asked why, it always comes down to the fact that most straight women won’t meet them if this was out in the open. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO
Right!? So are the blood bank apparently . Anyone would swear we were still in the 80’s ..
Not really. Blood donation centres no longer have any specific rules for gay or bisexual men. Rather all potential donors are asked the same questions about recent sexual behaviour and the same rules apply to all genders regarding anal sex, for example, which does carry a proven higher risk of infection."I've just checked and it was changed in June 2021 so that they could if they had the same partner for over 3 months. Finally! Prior to that my friend couldn't give blood without having sex with his husband and monogamous partner of over 5 years unless they didn't have sex for 3 months which was just ludicrous. Thank god they've finally stopped discriminating but 2021 for christ sake! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. " Of course it is... It's a bi phobic choice... Racists refusing to engage with Black people is a choice. It's simple ... The OP is asking if men who don't declare will get a better chance of getting laid... Including biphobic people... and you've confirmed this... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"When asked why, it always comes down to the fact that most straight women won’t meet them if this was out in the open." These biphobic women are delusional if that is a basis for sleeping with a guy... It's like not sleeping with married guys... Most guys here are single of course... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO
Right!? So are the blood bank apparently . Anyone would swear we were still in the 80’s ..
Not really. Blood donation centres no longer have any specific rules for gay or bisexual men. Rather all potential donors are asked the same questions about recent sexual behaviour and the same rules apply to all genders regarding anal sex, for example, which does carry a proven higher risk of infection.
I've just checked and it was changed in June 2021 so that they could if they had the same partner for over 3 months. Finally! Prior to that my friend couldn't give blood without having sex with his husband and monogamous partner of over 5 years unless they didn't have sex for 3 months which was just ludicrous. Thank god they've finally stopped discriminating but 2021 for christ sake! "It’s a welcome change, but it’s still discriminatory in that it disproportionately affects men who have sex with men, even when protection is used. The advisory committee didn’t even consider the risks of male/female anal (possible because there is very little data on the subject - finding women who have exclusively anal sex with men is probably tricky at any sort of scale). The recommendation was to continue with the three month deferral for men who have sex with men (MSM) and women who have had recent sex with MSM. The ban for lady lovers of anal was added to for politics and optics rather than science. The blood transfusion service have assessed that this discrimination is proportionate and necessary to achieve their aims. It’s much better than it was. But it’s still not great. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. Of course it is... It's a bi phobic choice... Racists refusing to engage with Black people is a choice. It's simple ... The OP is asking if men who don't declare will get a better chance of getting laid... Including biphobic people... and you've confirmed this..." Exactly. If someone chooses to exclude all black people from their dating pool, that is racist. It’s not “actionable” in any sense, nor should it be. It’s not like a court is going to rule that a racist must agree to have sex with black people… You can think what you want - that’s a pretty fundamental point! You could extend it beyond a dating pool decision. You could be of the firm belief that people from a particular social group are lesser than you, unworthy of your thoughts, let alone respect. Really unpleasant views, I’m sure we all agree… but lawful. Racist as fuck, but perfectly lawful. It is absolutely fair to give that kind of belief and decision making a name. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes."
Doesn't bother me. They can call me whatever phobic they like. I don't want to fuck them. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Alright, alright, alright. I’m all for taking the piss out of biphobic women. And am generally a self proclaimed asshole. But, understand this. It’s their body and their choice. Respect it or fuck off. So get a grip of yourself on here. People will have sex with anything if it satisfies them for 5 mins before cumming like a weirdo. People (not just women) have a choice on who they’d like to fuck or not. Doesn’t matter if you’re BI or not. So stop crying." I take your point, but they keep shoving it in our faces. Flaunting it in the way they speak to each other and putting it all over their profiles. I’m happy for them to be bigoted in private, but do they have to ram it down our throats? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That's not biphobia at all. Choosing to not have sex with someone who sleeps with the same sex is not biphobia. It's a choice. Of course it is... It's a bi phobic choice... Racists refusing to engage with Black people is a choice. It's simple ... The OP is asking if men who don't declare will get a better chance of getting laid... Including biphobic people... and you've confirmed this..." Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as individuals. That is not what is being said on this thread. It is not biphobia because it is not an aversion to the person or the act of being bi-sexual. It is a choice, a preference. Like I could purely search for bi females that isn’t prejudice towards straight women. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! It is also worth remembering that a man can be bisexual but have never been with another man or have only been sexually involved with other men within monogamous relationships. I FOR ONE AM SHOCKED BY THIS INFO
Right!? So are the blood bank apparently . Anyone would swear we were still in the 80’s ..
Not really. Blood donation centres no longer have any specific rules for gay or bisexual men. Rather all potential donors are asked the same questions about recent sexual behaviour and the same rules apply to all genders regarding anal sex, for example, which does carry a proven higher risk of infection.
I've just checked and it was changed in June 2021 so that they could if they had the same partner for over 3 months. Finally! Prior to that my friend couldn't give blood without having sex with his husband and monogamous partner of over 5 years unless they didn't have sex for 3 months which was just ludicrous. Thank god they've finally stopped discriminating but 2021 for christ sake!
It’s a welcome change, but it’s still discriminatory in that it disproportionately affects men who have sex with men, even when protection is used.
The advisory committee didn’t even consider the risks of male/female anal (possible because there is very little data on the subject - finding women who have exclusively anal sex with men is probably tricky at any sort of scale). The recommendation was to continue with the three month deferral for men who have sex with men (MSM) and women who have had recent sex with MSM.
The ban for lady lovers of anal was added to for politics and optics rather than science.
The blood transfusion service have assessed that this discrimination is proportionate and necessary to achieve their aims. It’s much better than it was. But it’s still not great. "The previous discussion was about the fact the blood bank previously didn't recognise that MSM could be in monogamous relationships and the lack of risk that presented as blood donors. But the wider discussion is appreciated .
For years I couldn't give blood because I had protected sex with my ex partner who had sex with men years before he ever met me! Completely bonkers. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I take your point, but they keep shoving it in our faces. Flaunting it in the way they speak to each other and putting it all over their profiles. I’m happy for them to be bigoted in private, but do they have to ram it down our throats?" Dude, you sound like you need to have a reality check. Understand this, people are people. The people you will find on this site are here on purpose for a purpose. They didn’t just “accidentally “ stumble upon this site, create a profile, and fuck a bunch of random people that seems to build a theme on the type of people they want inside or to be inside off. Flipping the BI toggle on your profile may give you the idea that you’ll get more people to fuck. Or maybe it won’t. It’s a choice. The honest advice I can give is just be honest with what you’re seeking at the time you’re logged in. I toggle my BI status depending on what I’m looking for and the audience I want to target. It’s all marketing baby. From pics, vids to how your profile is written outs this is like my 11th profile because I jump in and out of fab, not the scene. People change/evolve and their kinks change. The nature of humans os to crave what they don’t have. It’s like when you started watching porn. At the start the watching people fuck in a preset scenario did it for you, then you wanted something real, the. You wanted to watch lesbians, then you switched over to trans, then over to guy-on-guy. It goes on and on. People “may” be bigoted, but that’s oblong your interpretation on their response and how they present themselves. You’re going to save yourself a world of disappointment if you just let things be and move on to what you’re “seeking” right now. If you don’t find it on here, then find it elsewhere. If you look hard enough for what you what, you’ll find it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No. Not at all. Everyone is entitled to sleep with who they want. But if their rationale for not wanting to sleep with a bi man is purely down to a belief that bi men are in some way dirty or in any way different physically to a straight male then yes, that is a case of biphobia, much like someone stating they won't meet all people of of a certain ethnicity is an example of racism. It's the motivation and reasoning that classifies something as a phobia. Attraction isn't linked at all. A" ^^this If there's an element of fear or actual hatred then you could call it bigotry or a phobia. If not, if it's purely a sexual choice due to the chemistry and physical arousal, well that's not hate driven, that's their own sexuality being expressed. It's not okay to try and say a person MUST be open to inviting all sexual orientations to their bed OR ELSE. Would a lesbian be slammed for turning down a bi guy who likes girls and guys? Would a gay man be slammed for turning down a straight girl? No? Well why not? What about a fem in the middle of a fmf? Should they be expected to interact with the other fem? Where is the line? Bi is a sexuality like every other that a person has the right to find sexually attractive or not. Let's not be policing individual sexual orientations. There's an argument that for many in life, attraction to a bi person falls outside of a fully het orientation. And no one gets to judge what turns another on so long as it's not hate-driven. Attraction takes in the entirety of a person. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I actually prefer bisexual men. Might be because I’m bisexual myself, enjoy sharing and being shared. It also makes it easier to talk about having a more flexible sexuality when my partner is the same. It’s not a necessity though. " Why are you in Scotland | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I take your point, but they keep shoving it in our faces. Flaunting it in the way they speak to each other and putting it all over their profiles. I’m happy for them to be bigoted in private, but do they have to ram it down our throats? Dude, you sound like you need to have a reality check. Understand this, people are people. The people you will find on this site are here on purpose for a purpose. They didn’t just “accidentally “ stumble upon this site, create a profile, and fuck a bunch of random people that seems to build a theme on the type of people they want inside or to be inside off. Flipping the BI toggle on your profile may give you the idea that you’ll get more people to fuck. Or maybe it won’t. It’s a choice. The honest advice I can give is just be honest with what you’re seeking at the time you’re logged in. I toggle my BI status depending on what I’m looking for and the audience I want to target. It’s all marketing baby. From pics, vids to how your profile is written outs this is like my 11th profile because I jump in and out of fab, not the scene. People change/evolve and their kinks change. The nature of humans os to crave what they don’t have. It’s like when you started watching porn. At the start the watching people fuck in a preset scenario did it for you, then you wanted something real, the. You wanted to watch lesbians, then you switched over to trans, then over to guy-on-guy. It goes on and on. People “may” be bigoted, but that’s oblong your interpretation on their response and how they present themselves. You’re going to save yourself a world of disappointment if you just let things be and move on to what you’re “seeking” right now. If you don’t find it on here, then find it elsewhere. If you look hard enough for what you what, you’ll find it. " So your advice is to lie about your bi/straight status to get pussy? Nice | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So women have to have sex with people they are not attracted to for fear of being labelled phobic? I’d say that speaks volumes. No. Not at all. Everyone is entitled to sleep with who they want. But if their rationale for not wanting to sleep with a bi man is purely down to a belief that bi men are in some way dirty or in any way different physically to a straight male then yes, that is a case of biphobia, much like someone stating they won't meet all people of of a certain ethnicity is an example of racism. It's the motivation and reasoning that classifies something as a phobia. Attraction isn't linked at all. A ^^this If there's an element of fear or actual hatred then you could call it bigotry or a phobia. If not, if it's purely a sexual choice due to the chemistry and physical arousal, well that's not hate driven, that's their own sexuality being expressed. It's not okay to try and say a person MUST be open to inviting all sexual orientations to their bed OR ELSE. Would a lesbian be slammed for turning down a bi guy who likes girls and guys? Would a gay man be slammed for turning down a straight girl? No? Well why not? What about a fem in the middle of a fmf? Should they be expected to interact with the other fem? Where is the line? Bi is a sexuality like every other that a person has the right to find sexually attractive or not. Let's not be policing individual sexual orientations. There's an argument that for many in life, attraction to a bi person falls outside of a fully het orientation. And no one gets to judge what turns another on so long as it's not hate-driven. Attraction takes in the entirety of a person." Well said | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I take your point, but they keep shoving it in our faces. Flaunting it in the way they speak to each other and putting it all over their profiles. I’m happy for them to be bigoted in private, but do they have to ram it down our throats? Dude, you sound like you need to have a reality check. Understand this, people are people. The people you will find on this site are here on purpose for a purpose. They didn’t just “accidentally “ stumble upon this site, create a profile, and fuck a bunch of random people that seems to build a theme on the type of people they want inside or to be inside off. Flipping the BI toggle on your profile may give you the idea that you’ll get more people to fuck. Or maybe it won’t. It’s a choice. The honest advice I can give is just be honest with what you’re seeking at the time you’re logged in. I toggle my BI status depending on what I’m looking for and the audience I want to target. It’s all marketing baby. From pics, vids to how your profile is written outs this is like my 11th profile because I jump in and out of fab, not the scene. People change/evolve and their kinks change. The nature of humans os to crave what they don’t have. It’s like when you started watching porn. At the start the watching people fuck in a preset scenario did it for you, then you wanted something real, the. You wanted to watch lesbians, then you switched over to trans, then over to guy-on-guy. It goes on and on. People “may” be bigoted, but that’s oblong your interpretation on their response and how they present themselves. You’re going to save yourself a world of disappointment if you just let things be and move on to what you’re “seeking” right now. If you don’t find it on here, then find it elsewhere. If you look hard enough for what you what, you’ll find it. " My post you quoted was tongue in cheek - using the language of the bigot to make a point against their bigotry. Sorry that wasn’t obvious for you. My failing. I don’t “flip the bi toggle” because of any impact I expect (positive or negative) on my sex life. I flipped the bi toggle because I’m being my honest self. I “am” bi. You might do so for “marketing, baby” (or possibly internalised biphobia?) but as you’ve alluded to: you do you. That includes your porn journey. I come on here for the spirit of the debate. I see a topic that sparks an interest and I can’t help but wade in. That’s probably another failing on my part. It’s almost certainly related to my ADHD. I see populism and I react. But it has absolutely nothing to do with trying to get a shag or otherwise. I’ve seen many tactics deployed on here, but I’m certainly not trying to soapbox anyone into bed! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So your advice is to lie about your bi/straight status to get pussy? Nice " I do what I want to get the result I want. Not ashamed or am going to lie about it. And let’s be honest, do you think 100% of the people on this site do what they state on their profile. Nope. In my experience, with the right circumstances, people will do just about anything to please themselves. The things I’ve done to test that theory have panned out and I’ll stick to that. Whether you’re BI or not. It doesn’t matter. A melon, again with the right “circumstances” is enough to make a guy cum. Or a girl watching another girl pleasure herself whilst imagining herself being pleasured that way will yield the same result. Though, in the defence of women cumming, I had a girl tell me once the way she cums whilst being locked out, fingered or fucked is different. So each to their own. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So your advice is to lie about your bi/straight status to get pussy? Nice I do what I want to get the result I want. Not ashamed or am going to lie about it. And let’s be honest, do you think 100% of the people on this site do what they state on their profile. Nope. In my experience, with the right circumstances, people will do just about anything to please themselves. The things I’ve done to test that theory have panned out and I’ll stick to that. Whether you’re BI or not. It doesn’t matter. A melon, again with the right “circumstances” is enough to make a guy cum. Or a girl watching another girl pleasure herself whilst imagining herself being pleasured that way will yield the same result. Though, in the defence of women cumming, I had a girl tell me once the way she cums whilst being locked out, fingered or fucked is different. So each to their own." Just thought I’d confirm that you deliberately lie to women to get in their knickers | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Wow. This is insane. Your thinking here goes along the lines of someone is a racist if they dont want to sleep with a different coloured person. I'm not interested in trans people, doesn't make me transphobic I just don't fancy it and that's OK. Get a grip and stop labelling people because you got knocked back" It is insane, and the definition of prejudice - pre judging the opinions and experiences of total strangers because their preferences differ from yours. With a rather stinky undercurrent of misogyny too- 'if these women won't sleep with bi men like me then there's some thing wrong (bigotry) with them.' | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd only meet a Bi man if he was serious about his sexual health and that includes oral, anal and genital swabbing. I've seen too many bareback videos on here You’re letting yourself down if you didn’t also take that same approach to men who aren’t open with you about being bi. Risky sex is an open frontier of equality and diversity! How do you know that I don't do that... the OP asked a question regarding Bi men and I answered it from my viewpoint on Bi men... Fair enough. It’s been a thread of me being confused about what I and others mean, so at least it’s on brand! I meant no offence. Just as you presumably didn’t mean any offence by perpetuating the “bi men are disease vectors” trope in the subtext!
Again... it's a Bi men thread...would it be easier for you if I just said humans are disease vectors instead of answering the OP....
The OP queried the “no bi men” rule often found in profiles and asked if it was a sexual health thing.
You confirmed your reservations about bi men are based in sexual health concerns.
If you had no particular reservations or concerns about bi men, one might expect your response to be “I have no particular reservations or concerns about bi men”.
If the original post was “I’ve seen lots of profiles saying they don’t sleep with Swedish men, is that a personal hygiene thing”, and you replied “when I sleep with Swedish men, I always make them shower first”… one might draw an inference that you thought Swedish hunks need a good wash.
If any Swedish men are offended by this, I apologise for drawing you into my ad absurdum continuation of this discussion. I chose your fine and pleasantly fragrant brethren purely because I’ve never heard your hygiene questioned in any racist tropes. "Let's give this one last go... I have reservations about having sexual contact with ANY MAN... because of sexual health concerns... hopefully this is clear for you and you won't have to worry about questioning whether I am letting myself down or not Merry Xmas  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So your advice is to lie about your bi/straight status to get pussy? Nice I do what I want to get the result I want. Not ashamed or am going to lie about it. And let’s be honest, do you think 100% of the people on this site do what they state on their profile. Nope. In my experience, with the right circumstances, people will do just about anything to please themselves. The things I’ve done to test that theory have panned out and I’ll stick to that. Whether you’re BI or not. It doesn’t matter. A melon, again with the right “circumstances” is enough to make a guy cum. Or a girl watching another girl pleasure herself whilst imagining herself being pleasured that way will yield the same result. Though, in the defence of women cumming, I had a girl tell me once the way she cums whilst being locked out, fingered or fucked is different. So each to their own." So you’re not going to lie about the fact you lie to get your hole? While I obviously want to benefit from your wisdom on girls cumming and learn from the BramStroker school of “by any means necessary”… the more press ion question I have is why you keep capitalising “BI”? For someone so happy to play it straight to get the girls (or… melons?) it seems like you’re suddenly shouting about it. It’s good to see you embrace your inner queer. Enjoy your kimchi fries | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
