FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > cheating wives
cheating wives
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seems a huge focus on here about cheating men. So do you have an issue meeting a woman who is playing without her husbands knowledge? Is it important? If it isn't for you should you just pass on by without judging? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Makes no difference to me, I won't meet or play with a cheating whether its male or female. Nothing to do with judging and it annoys me immenseley when this word is used as no-one is doing that, no-one cares why, it is the fact that they are cheating nothing more |
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We aren't looking for single women but if we were we wouldn't knowingly meet them if they were in a long term relationship whether their partner knew of not. It isn't a question of judging how could we? We couldn't possibly know the whole story. We just prefer not to get involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never had a problem playing with cheating wives as long as I had spoken to their husbands first.
Or they were watching.
Or they were joining in.
 "
In which case they're not cheating?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex. |
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex."
And a nice cup of tea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex.
And a nice cup of tea."
Really? You get tea as well?
Cheating fuckers, all this time I've never been offered a cup of tea!  |
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Like I mentioned in another post I played with. A married woman from this site ,thinking he knew but was told after he didn't she just wanted revenge for his solo antics I had chatted to them together on cam .they had played solo before so sometimes its hard to tell,we and wife now make it known to couples at clubs that we may play solo we enjoy swinging and having nee partners for fun ,there is no need to cheat at this game, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm glad someone mentioned the club scene as I can absolutely guarantee that is you've played with single men in clubs on a regular basis at least one of them would have been married and playing without his wife's knowledge.
I've seen women in clubs who I've known to be very anti-marrieds suddenly get the urge for a gangbang and not care if the cock fucking her has a wife waiting at home for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you will find that the vast majority who express a dislike of cheating men will also have the same opinion of cheating women! If not, they would be hypocrites! "
True but there are an awful lot of hypocrites in the scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope I don't play with married or attached for a few reasons. I don't like all the cloak & dagger situations, and its not something I'd like done to me, so I have to live by that. Its also tricky enough organising meets as it is, so further ducking & diving to arrange something isn't going to make things any easier.
Each to their own though, it obviously works for others, so fair play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex."
for you its only sex.. for others its their lives..
im just not selfish enough to not consider others in anything i do.. everyone needs compassion shown to them, so why expect it if you arent willing to show it.. |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
re the last post, very difficult to authenticate that someone is single, as most will tell you they are, but aren't.
They can tell you what they like, it's up
to you whether you believe them or not. Someone who actually states that they are not is at the least being honest. How it impacts their life is up to them, they are the one taking the risks with their unknowing partner's relationship, and be sure that if they approach you that you are not the first and by no means the last person they'll be playing with.
This happens all the time, how it rests with you is entirely up to you, and your choice to play with attached people is purely yours ultimately.
Wolf
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I would not judge either as it is their choice and I know little about their reasons. End of really... I dont meet attached people for anything other than a coffee because I would not ever want to be at the receiving end of a phone call from an upset partner asking me what the hell my number is doing on her partner's mobile. Just dont need the hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex.
for you its only sex.. for others its their lives..
im just not selfish enough to not consider others in anything i do.. everyone needs compassion shown to them, so why expect it if you arent willing to show it.. "
That's right, it's THEIR lives. Who knows why a particular person is cheating. Revenge? Compulsion? Companionship? Basic human contact? There are a myriad of reason why a person looks for others outside of his/her relationship, but it still their business whatever the reason is.
As for compassion, I don't need compassion from anyone, I'm not that clingy. People can offer me compassion if they want to and I wouldn't be crass enough to throw it back in their faces, but I'd never seek it out. I don't need anyone for that kind of emotional crutch.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex.
for you its only sex.. for others its their lives..
im just not selfish enough to not consider others in anything i do.. everyone needs compassion shown to them, so why expect it if you arent willing to show it..
That's right, it's THEIR lives. Who knows why a particular person is cheating. Revenge? Compulsion? Companionship? Basic human contact? There are a myriad of reason why a person looks for others outside of his/her relationship, but it still their business whatever the reason is.
As for compassion, I don't need compassion from anyone, I'm not that clingy. People can offer me compassion if they want to and I wouldn't be crass enough to throw it back in their faces, but I'd never seek it out. I don't need anyone for that kind of emotional crutch.
"
wow.. ok so ur happy for people to stamp across ur life causing mayhem as they go.. everyday everyone needs to think of others.. u would be happy for someone to theive off u? or try and run u down when ur crossing the road.. cos why should they think of u?? they want money and dont care what problems it may cause u.. they want to get where theyre going and so what if they hit u?
when on a meet the guy should get what he wants and not think of ur preferences or wants? after all what r u to them other than a shag and it shoudl be about their pleasure in ur thinking?
sadly some people are so self centred they cannot see past their own nose..
that goes to everyone who ok's cheating even tho i quoted one persons post XD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex.
for you its only sex.. for others its their lives..
im just not selfish enough to not consider others in anything i do.. everyone needs compassion shown to them, so why expect it if you arent willing to show it..
That's right, it's THEIR lives. Who knows why a particular person is cheating. Revenge? Compulsion? Companionship? Basic human contact? There are a myriad of reason why a person looks for others outside of his/her relationship, but it still their business whatever the reason is.
As for compassion, I don't need compassion from anyone, I'm not that clingy. People can offer me compassion if they want to and I wouldn't be crass enough to throw it back in their faces, but I'd never seek it out. I don't need anyone for that kind of emotional crutch.
"
oh and what ever their reason for cheating.. why get involved and not leave them to sort their issues or help them.. would u help someone rob a bank cos they need money for medicine for their sick child? or would u help them resolve the problem in a good way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some on here paint a very black or white picture, surely its up to the individual . From a personal veiw I always let the other person know I'm married but I won't give them my lifes history as to why I cheat , for me it would only cause a problem if they were married and didn't tell me ,but then that's their choice .
It doesn't bother me when folk won't have anything to do with me because I cheat that's their personal choice, but believe me there are many who don't care.
There are even sites that are just for married people who want to play with other married people!
I know from personal experience we don't live in a black and white world, there are many shades inbetween  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mmm .... Compassion ?
A strange analogy , but anyway - we are happily married and would never dream of cheating on each other - but because we would play with others that do - we hope that doesn't mean we are gonna have some karmic consequence |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never had a problem playing with cheating wives as long as I had spoken to their husbands first.
Or they were watching.
Or they were joining in.
In which case they're not cheating? "
Exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mmm .... Compassion ?
A strange analogy , but anyway - we are happily married and would never dream of cheating on each other - but because we would play with others that do - we hope that doesn't mean we are gonna have some karmic consequence "
Compassion -
Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others: "the victims should be treated with compassion".
therefore thinking of the suffering of the innocent partner if they find out they are being cheated on.. oh and the children.. not strange really.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie."
The most sensible reply I have ever read on this subject. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our _iew is that we don't touch any male who cannot explain convincingly why they can't accommodate. We usually ask them to get their partner to write to Rio to confirm that all is OK. Guess what?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie."
people will lie.. and u have to have some trust in what ur being told by others.. otherwise u would never do anything in life.. just sit indoors wrapped in cotton wool..
mind u maybe u couldnt live at all if u trusted.. cos even in ur house u need to trust the builder built ur house ok, the electrician and gas people installed everythign ok.. that the cars going past ur house arent going to crash into it.. we all need trust..
paranoia is not a good thing.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie."
im with you on this one
I met a guy once and he said he was single and he accommodated so i had no reason not to believe him, i met him a few times and the last time i met he got sloppy and didnt clear the house of his wifes things away as good as he usually did, he left her razor and toothbrush and a box on tampons in the bathroom, when i questioned him about this he admitted he was married but his wife worked in the day and as she didnt drive he had to go pick her up so he always knew if she was coming home as she called him to go fetch her, so he knew if was safe to have women back at the house without her ever walking in on them
Asking if someone is married is like asking if people play bareback, they will tell you what they think you need to hear in order to get a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie.
The most sensible reply I have ever read on this subject. "
makes no sense cos if someone lies it is no issue as i said we all need to show trust..
but its a different kettle of fish completely if you are aware they are cheating.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the main difference is that cheating women rarely seek validation for their actions. Plus the sheer volume of men on here make it far more likely that a cheating female will find a playmate rather than bemoan their lack of success on the forums.
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Very difficult to have a discussion that doesn't get very emotive on the cheating subject, if only because there are those amongst us that have been the victims of a cheating partner, (I haven't personally) and they are likely to have a very emotional _iew on the matter.
So the discussion will always look very personal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex.
for you its only sex.. for others its their lives..
im just not selfish enough to not consider others in anything i do.. everyone needs compassion shown to them, so why expect it if you arent willing to show it..
That's right, it's THEIR lives. Who knows why a particular person is cheating. Revenge? Compulsion? Companionship? Basic human contact? There are a myriad of reason why a person looks for others outside of his/her relationship, but it still their business whatever the reason is.
As for compassion, I don't need compassion from anyone, I'm not that clingy. People can offer me compassion if they want to and I wouldn't be crass enough to throw it back in their faces, but I'd never seek it out. I don't need anyone for that kind of emotional crutch.
wow.. ok so ur happy for people to stamp across ur life causing mayhem as they go.. everyday everyone needs to think of others.. u would be happy for someone to theive off u? or try and run u down when ur crossing the road.. cos why should they think of u?? they want money and dont care what problems it may cause u.. they want to get where theyre going and so what if they hit u?
when on a meet the guy should get what he wants and not think of ur preferences or wants? after all what r u to them other than a shag and it shoudl be about their pleasure in ur thinking?
sadly some people are so self centred they cannot see past their own nose..
that goes to everyone who ok's cheating even tho i quoted one persons post XD"
We're not talking about my life though. Nor someone thieving from me, or trying to run me down, or rob a bank, blah blah blah.. We're talking about people who play outside of their relationship for whatever reasons they do it for. Who are you to judge them for it? It is, or should be, enough for you to know that you don't feel comfortable being a party to it. Live and let live?
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie.
The most sensible reply I have ever read on this subject. "
Why, thank you.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I played at club recently and had a fabulous time, turned out afterwards the woman was married. Did we have a good time, yes. Did I feel bad about her being married, no. Would I do it again, yes. At the end of the day it was 2 people enjoying each others company. I could get all aggrieved and feel I was lied to, feel bad for her poor husband, but at the end of the day it was her issue not mine and I found her charming company for the time I was with her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mmm .... Compassion ?
A strange analogy , but anyway - we are happily married and would never dream of cheating on each other - but because we would play with others that do - we hope that doesn't mean we are gonna have some karmic consequence
Compassion -
Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others: "the victims should be treated with compassion".
therefore thinking of the suffering of the innocent partner if they find out they are being cheated on.. oh and the children.. not strange really.. "
Ah - I see where you are coming from - my apologies .
I was the victim of a cheating wife , but still from my perspective anyway - the victim isn't my issue and as so many others point out , people lie anyway !
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't discount meeting anyone attached because 9 times out of 10 I would have no idea if they were. I don't make them fill out a survey before they turn up.
I have been on the receiving end of an angry text. I deleted it because I had no idea he ws attached and to be completely honest, its not my fault he decided to lie.
The most sensible reply I have ever read on this subject.
Why, thank you. "
No problem, it's just I find it funny that people are so judgemental about this. I personally would rather be honest and say I am married and playing than say I am unmarried, it would be so easy to say otherwise and no one would be any the wiser. The accomodate or not is in no way a guide to being married or not either.
I just like your attitude, rspect.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks x"
Pleasure, you sum up everything with the word "choice" - you choose to play, your choice. If others wish to play with you, their choice. If people don't wish to play with you because you are married, their choice. No judgements needed, everyone can exercise choice. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Very difficult to have a discussion that doesn't get very emotive on the cheating subject, if only because there are those amongst us that have been the victims of a cheating partner, (I haven't personally) and they are likely to have a very emotional _iew on the matter.
So the discussion will always look very personal"
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it difficult to understand the reasons for the dislike of married men/women in the context of swinging. Swinging is about commitment free and judgement free sex with a variety of people isn't it? When I was meeting single guys to play, most of them were married and I have no problem with that. Its NSA sex and that's understood.
Isn't that a big part of swinging? It's NSA sex? Surely that means that you're all going to go your separate ways at the end, if one party goes back to an unwitting spouse then what's the big whoop?
Obviously friendships do develop between couples, or couples and singles, but again its just an nsa relationship isn't it? No one is expecting to commit to anything.
The problem should only arise if two "singles" get together, one secretly married and the other starts to get too involved and it all gets stalkery! (although that can happen with individuals in couples too)
As Wishy said, chances are if you've played in a club with a single, you've played with a married person. So its only when you know about it that it upsets you. That's the real reason people lie to you I expect.
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I find it difficult to understand the reasons for the dislike of married men/women in the context of swinging. Swinging is about commitment free and judgement free sex with a variety of people isn't it? When I was meeting single guys to play, most of them were married and I have no problem with that. Its NSA sex and that's understood.
Isn't that a big part of swinging? It's NSA sex? Surely that means that you're all going to go your separate ways at the end, if one party goes back to an unwitting spouse then what's the big whoop?
Obviously friendships do develop between couples, or couples and singles, but again its just an nsa relationship isn't it? No one is expecting to commit to anything.
The problem should only arise if two "singles" get together, one secretly married and the other starts to get too involved and it all gets stalkery! (although that can happen with individuals in couples too)
As Wishy said, chances are if you've played in a club with a single, you've played with a married person. So its only when you know about it that it upsets you. That's the real reason people lie to you I expect.
"
Good post! And I agree with Wishy, too (and not just because he has such a lovely cock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it difficult to understand the reasons for the dislike of married men/women in the context of swinging. Swinging is about commitment free and judgement free sex with a variety of people isn't it? When I was meeting single guys to play, most of them were married and I have no problem with that. Its NSA sex and that's understood.
Isn't that a big part of swinging? It's NSA sex? Surely that means that you're all going to go your separate ways at the end, if one party goes back to an unwitting spouse then what's the big whoop?
Obviously friendships do develop between couples, or couples and singles, but again its just an nsa relationship isn't it? No one is expecting to commit to anything.
The problem should only arise if two "singles" get together, one secretly married and the other starts to get too involved and it all gets stalkery! (although that can happen with individuals in couples too)
As Wishy said, chances are if you've played in a club with a single, you've played with a married person. So its only when you know about it that it upsets you. That's the real reason people lie to you I expect.
"
WOW, what an excellent reply. Total common sense and a realistic _iew on the real life realities of swinging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing is everstraight forward when it comes to human relatipnships and sexuality. What about if a couple have a regular sex partner (male or female) and one spouse dvelops feelings for the single, maybe meets them alone without the other spouses knowledge? That, surely, is cheating? What about the situations where a couple both agree to swing whilst one half is looking at it purely for sex but the other is secretly looking for a new partner ( that has happened with at least two couples I know of). What if the " non swinging" partner is having an affair, and the other partner cannot split with them for financial reasons but simply wants honest, no ties sex? Judge not lest ye be judged! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like to point out I don't play with men / woman who are cheating for what would apeaar to be very did resons to the rest of you . 4 years ago went I got in to this I had a 3 some with a couple and the woman said to my face she was happy for the guy to meet up with me on my own in the future , witch we did . But she ended up getting really funny with me and one night I was in a club and she spoted me came over throw a drink in my face and told all my friends I was on a swingers site ! Since then I have had a guy who had told me he was singles wife call me and ask why I sent her partner pics ! In a club it's diffrent the wife ,girlfriend or partner is never going to contact me as he prob will not know my name or phone number lol I know it's selfish but as long as its not bothering me ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No difference in _iews and opinions on peeps playing behind their significant others' backs, regardless of gender.
Women just get on with it with far less drama than the men, IMHO.  |
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I dont have a problem with married people as such, what i have a problem with is those that are cheating and think its something to be proud off. If someone is going to come on the forum and go on about the fact they are cheating or they have a regular fb behind there partners back thats what winds me up.
If someone is cheating all they got to do is mention it on there profile then keep quite. If its on their profile its up to us if we want to play with them.
But there are some that practicaly glout about it. Men and women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it difficult to understand the reasons for the dislike of married men/women in the context of swinging. Swinging is about commitment free and judgement free sex with a variety of people isn't it? When I was meeting single guys to play, most of them were married and I have no problem with that. Its NSA sex and that's understood.
Isn't that a big part of swinging? It's NSA sex? Surely that means that you're all going to go your separate ways at the end, if one party goes back to an unwitting spouse then what's the big whoop?
Obviously friendships do develop between couples, or couples and singles, but again its just an nsa relationship isn't it? No one is expecting to commit to anything.
The problem should only arise if two "singles" get together, one secretly married and the other starts to get too involved and it all gets stalkery! (although that can happen with individuals in couples too)
As Wishy said, chances are if you've played in a club with a single, you've played with a married person. So its only when you know about it that it upsets you. That's the real reason people lie to you I expect.
"
Of course its nsa but that isn't going to stop the person being cheated on getting hurt and upset if its found out
I don't want any involvement in decieiving others.. This should be completely NSA with no comeback to anyone for meeting someone
I can't see how its judging anyone.. Deception is deception whatever the reason, financial or whatever reason.. I don't want to be involved and as its put here that's my choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and there is always 2 sides to every story, so whatever the cheater says to justify their actions you can guarentee the spouse has their reasons to the problems too that puts a different light on the cheaters story |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Nothing is everstraight forward when it comes to human relatipnships and sexuality. What about if a couple have a regular sex partner (male or female) and one spouse dvelops feelings for the single, maybe meets them alone without the other spouses knowledge? That, surely, is cheating? What about the situations where a couple both agree to swing whilst one half is looking at it purely for sex but the other is secretly looking for a new partner ( that has happened with at least two couples I know of). What if the " non swinging" partner is having an affair, and the other partner cannot split with them for financial reasons but simply wants honest, no ties sex? Judge not lest ye be judged! "
Another well thought out post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Of course its nsa but that isn't going to stop the person being cheated on getting hurt and upset if its found out
I don't want any involvement in decieiving others.. This should be completely NSA with no comeback to anyone for meeting someone
I can't see how its judging anyone.. Deception is deception whatever the reason, financial or whatever reason.. I don't want to be involved and as its put here that's my choice"
And all that's fine and you're of course entitled to that choice. It just means that you're going to be lied to by married guys. And I suspect that for something like every 10 you suss out, 1 will get through. So like it or not you are going to be/have been with married men cheating. Particularly if you go to clubs. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
One thing that kind of puzzles me in the scene (not just on this site) is the intensity of judgment on married people playing. In a way I always thought that people would be more understanding, show some empathy or at least not judge those that have extra marital affairs but far from it. My vanilla friends who are aware of my being here, are far less judgmental but then perhaps that comes with age and life experience, I dont know.
Sure SOME people play the field, have their cake and eat it, cheat callously and without a thought for anybody else but themselves. That happens in life wherever we look. The vast majority of people who have affairs, are in the scene without partner's knowledge have good reasons and did not take the decision lightly.
But suppose they hadn t ... taken the decision lightly... It would still not be any of my business to judge or attack their actions anymore than I would do so in other situations.
I really feel "live and let live" as we never ever know all the circumstances or the complexity of each situation.
Just my tuppence worth |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"One thing that kind of puzzles me in the scene (not just on this site) is the intensity of judgment on married people playing. In a way I always thought that people would be more understanding, show some empathy or at least not judge those that have extra marital affairs but far from it. My vanilla friends who are aware of my being here, are far less judgmental but then perhaps that comes with age and life experience, I dont know.
Sure SOME people play the field, have their cake and eat it, cheat callously and without a thought for anybody else but themselves. That happens in life wherever we look. The vast majority of people who have affairs, are in the scene without partner's knowledge have good reasons and did not take the decision lightly.
But suppose they hadn t ... taken the decision lightly... It would still not be any of my business to judge or attack their actions anymore than I would do so in other situations.
I really feel "live and let live" as we never ever know all the circumstances or the complexity of each situation.
Just my tuppence worth "
Correction, should read "Suppose they had taken the decision lightly" |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"One thing that kind of puzzles me in the scene (not just on this site) is the intensity of judgment on married people playing. In a way I always thought that people would be more understanding, show some empathy or at least not judge those that have extra marital affairs but far from it. My vanilla friends who are aware of my being here, are far less judgmental but then perhaps that comes with age and life experience, I dont know.
Sure SOME people play the field, have their cake and eat it, cheat callously and without a thought for anybody else but themselves. That happens in life wherever we look. The vast majority of people who have affairs, are in the scene without partner's knowledge have good reasons and did not take the decision lightly.
But suppose they hadn t ... taken the decision lightly... It would still not be any of my business to judge or attack their actions anymore than I would do so in other situations.
I really feel "live and let live" as we never ever know all the circumstances or the complexity of each situation.
Just my tuppence worth "
but there are sites where they will not be judged in any way at all... sites specific to what they are looking for.
here, it is a swinging site & obviously all welcome but I actually find it disingenuous of people who are playing away to expect people not to have an opinion on it...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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cheating wives is a no/no for us we swing as a cpl with each partner there when playing. we never meet single guys from here or other sites so that stops the cheating husband we have a regular single guy who we know is 100% single when we want some mmf fun as for us playing with single girls from here its realy get to know them before we play as to rule out cheating wives as its could turn ugly if the hubby was to find out marrage over kids lives ruined and everything else that goes with the cheating.
anne |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
here, it is a swinging site & obviously all welcome but I actually find it disingenuous of people who are playing away to expect people not to have an opinion on it...
"
I can see where you are coming from with that and I guess as long as somebody is honest about their attached status then it is the choice of the other(s) whether or not they want to play with them. I am ok with that - I just dont approve of people judging others so harshly but then that is just me, I accept others think differently |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"cheating wives is a no/no for us we swing as a cpl with each partner there when playing. we never meet single guys from here or other sites so that stops the cheating husband we have a regular single guy who we know is 100% single when we want some mmf fun as for us playing with single girls from here its realy get to know them before we play as to rule out cheating wives as its could turn ugly if the hubby was to find out marrage over kids lives ruined and everything else that goes with the cheating.
anne "
I understand you comletely and I would not knowingly meet attached people either for the same reason... it can turn nasty and I would not want to be part of it. I just think some people are ok with meeting attached people and that is and should be their choice. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
here, it is a swinging site & obviously all welcome but I actually find it disingenuous of people who are playing away to expect people not to have an opinion on it...
I can see where you are coming from with that and I guess as long as somebody is honest about their attached status then it is the choice of the other(s) whether or not they want to play with them. I am ok with that - I just dont approve of people judging others so harshly but then that is just me, I accept others think differently"
me too
I said further up ' just do it, it is when justifications are asked for why people won't play' it goes tits up. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
like i always say on this subject... its very easy to be bold and ballsy and brash when the "3rd party" is some anonymous figure......
not so easy when anonymous person becomes a voice down the end of a phone... or even worse for some people becomes a figure that is face to face with you....
not so brash and ballsy about it then................ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems a huge focus on here about cheating men. So do you have an issue meeting a woman who is playing without her husbands knowledge? Is it important? If it isn't for you should you just pass on by without judging? "
I wouldn't meet anyone knowingly that was married and cheating |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"if people just got on with it and stopped the need to seek approval, give justifications & apportion blame on an invisible 3rd party....
That's a pretty big 'IF' "
HUGE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad someone mentioned the club scene as I can absolutely guarantee that is you've played with single men in clubs on a regular basis at least one of them would have been married and playing without his wife's knowledge.
I've seen women in clubs who I've known to be very anti-marrieds suddenly get the urge for a gangbang and not care if the cock fucking her has a wife waiting at home for it."
Have to agree with every word. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"like i always say on this subject... its very easy to be bold and ballsy and brash when the "3rd party" is some anonymous figure......
not so easy when anonymous person becomes a voice down the end of a phone... or even worse for some people becomes a figure that is face to face with you....
not so brash and ballsy about it then................"
Also very very true - I witnessed the situation once, a long time ago. I was not involved myself but was asked for support of the individuals concerned. WHat I observed and how it affected me made me quite determined not to ever get involved with somebody who is attached. But then.... I would not dream of passing judgment on them either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if people just got on with it and stopped the need to seek approval, give justifications & apportion blame on an invisible 3rd party....
That's a pretty big 'IF' "
Yup. If only folk would stop judging one another. Free love I say.... |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I'm glad someone mentioned the club scene as I can absolutely guarantee that is you've played with single men in clubs on a regular basis at least one of them would have been married and playing without his wife's knowledge.
I've seen women in clubs who I've known to be very anti-marrieds suddenly get the urge for a gangbang and not care if the cock fucking her has a wife waiting at home for it.
Have to agree with every word. "
Absolutely.. this is a"grey" area, in clubs and at parties, where you simply don't know whether they are telling you the truth if indeed you ask the question before playing. |
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"if people just got on with it and stopped the need to seek approval, give justifications & apportion blame on an invisible 3rd party....
That's a pretty big 'IF'
Yup. If only folk would stop judging one another. Free love I say...."
People... stop judging other people... what a load of bollox. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Was thinking... as an example (I know it is at a different level but anyway) I kind of hate smoking with a passion and would not wish to be near smokers. I also feel quite strongly about smoking in the close proximity of kids - and while I have my opinion on this matter... I would not publicly or privately judge people for doing so. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Who are we to judge others? If married women choose to play away - what rite does anyone have to judge her?? "
I will make a judgement if I play with her and that is my right & her marital status will be considered alongside her personality, her body, her eyes, her voice and whether on the night of the full moon she howls and twitches
she can exercise exactly the same towards me |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Who are we to judge others? If married women choose to play away - what rite does anyone have to judge her??
I will make a judgement if I play with her and that is my right & her marital status will be considered alongside her personality, her body, her eyes, her voice and whether on the night of the full moon she howls and twitches
she can exercise exactly the same towards me"
Absolutely, View... you have the right to say no to play with an attached person. |
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"I'm glad someone mentioned the club scene as I can absolutely guarantee that is you've played with single men in clubs on a regular basis at least one of them would have been married and playing without his wife's knowledge.
I've seen women in clubs who I've known to be very anti-marrieds suddenly get the urge for a gangbang and not care if the cock fucking her has a wife waiting at home for it.
Have to agree with every word. Absolutely.. this is a"grey" area, in clubs and at parties, where you simply don't know whether they are telling you the truth if indeed you ask the question before playing. "
No one has ever asked me in a club if I am married or single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad someone mentioned the club scene as I can absolutely guarantee that is you've played with single men in clubs on a regular basis at least one of them would have been married and playing without his wife's knowledge.
I've seen women in clubs who I've known to be very anti-marrieds suddenly get the urge for a gangbang and not care if the cock fucking her has a wife waiting at home for it.
Have to agree with every word. Absolutely.. this is a"grey" area, in clubs and at parties, where you simply don't know whether they are telling you the truth if indeed you ask the question before playing.
I know married male friends of mine who play as single men, have FB's who aren't their wives, who go to our local club, who do just that.
No one has ever asked me in a club if I am married or single"
Or me.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stopped playing with anyone I don't already know at clubs after inadvertently played with someone who was playing behind his partner's back at a club.  |
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If a shoplifter asked me to go into a shop with them to distract a shopkeeper so they could go for the five finger discount, I would tell them to fuck off!
It doesn't mean I won't go into shops when other people are in there just in case one of them is a robbing bastard.
The same applies to swinging clubs and cheats.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems a huge focus on here about cheating men. So do you have an issue meeting a woman who is playing without her husbands knowledge? Is it important? If it isn't for you should you just pass on by without judging? "
It isn't for me..... And I dont judge.... |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
Whether people on this post like it or not.. We all judge others in our daily lives! Without exception!
As far as we are concerned, cheaters are just not wanted! We will not play at a club (when we go.. been a long time!) unless we know who we are playing with. We would never play with a FB couples and singles who are cheating! That is one of the reasons why we stopped playing with singles.
Yes I know people lie, yes I know that some couples out there are both cheats! But we will only play when we are sure that a couple in genuine, that is why we don't play very much! 
Oh and I will feel free to judge anyone I choose! And I do.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another post with people taking the moral high ground.
Confucious had a proverb, "Never judge a person till you have walked a mile in their shoes"
Seems to be a good mantra"
I think the message confucious was trying to convey is that after a mile you can judge someone cos you have his shoes and he can't run after you and kick your head in  |
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I would not play with man or woman cheating. I was cheated on once. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I would never want to inflict that pain on somebody else. If I found out somebody I played with was cheating I would be furious with them.
If you are not happy in your relationship get out. Don't give me this my wife doesn't likes sex, my wife doesn't understand me, bullcrap. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I would not play with man or woman cheating. I was cheated on once. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I would never want to inflict that pain on somebody else. If I found out somebody I played with was cheating I would be furious with them.
If you are not happy in your relationship get out. Don't give me this my wife doesn't likes sex, my wife doesn't understand me, bullcrap. "
I quite agree that if you are not happy in a relationship, in work, in life... do something about it. Sometimes things are just not that easy when you have other people to consider and whatever you do... your decision will have some (negative) consequences.
I have no problem with whatever anybody does.. it is not my life they are affecting. And yes, as Rumour said... you have the right to judge as much as other people have the right to ask for people not to judge... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how would we know - anybody can make up a story and stick to it - "
Very true until they comment on a forum post about cheating and then you know why they cannot meet you as arranged and suddenly they are not as keen as they were over the weekend |
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"It makes no difference to me if someone is cheating on their partner, male or female. It's their relationship and their business. If I find someone attractive and they want to play, we'll play. It's just sex."
True, but as I don't invite anyone into my home that won't have me in theirs, I don't do hotel meets ever, meeting married men becomes moot! |
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