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I'm looking...
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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For a sexy playmate.
Ideally:
Looks like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen.
Own yacht and private jet.
Sizeable independent income.
Prepared to worship me unconditionally.
House trained.
Classically trained chef.
I appreciate some of the above might be a big ask.
What can you offer me instead?
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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Don’t look like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen
But I do have a wicked ass and style
I am very house trained love to float around in skimpy outfits and do house work
Not to good at cooking but can order a good take away
Don’t mind being used at your beginning call or shared out when you need to
Dose my cv make the cut |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Own house
Own car
Own teeth
Has boobs
Chunky arse
Makes wicked Roast Dinners
No filter 
Whar colour is the car?
One's Grey
The other one is Orange"
Sorry, I don't think we are compatible |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.
FARE*******
Glad you corrected yourself, that was making me twitch  "
Serves me right for trying to be a smart arse |
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"For a sexy playmate.
Ideally:
Looks like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen.
Own yacht and private jet.
Sizeable independent income.
Prepared to worship me unconditionally.
House trained.
Classically trained chef.
I appreciate some of the above might be a big ask.
What can you offer me instead?
"
I’m a good cook, house trained and have a fair few common traits with Jessica Rabbit (being entirely 2 dimensional not the only one)
Close as I can get. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?
Hmmm.
Anything more?
Short legs, Bert and Ernie and a lifetime supply of Haribo  "
Oh... Kinky stuff?
I like it |
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"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.
FARE*******
Glad you corrected yourself, that was making me twitch
Serves me right for trying to be a smart arse "
I can place a bow between your cheeks  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"For a sexy playmate.
Ideally:
Looks like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen.
Own yacht and private jet.
Sizeable independent income.
Prepared to worship me unconditionally.
House trained.
Classically trained chef.
I appreciate some of the above might be a big ask.
What can you offer me instead?
I’m a good cook, house trained and have a fair few common traits with Jessica Rabbit (being entirely 2 dimensional not the only one)
Close as I can get."
See... I think the unconditional worship is non negotiable |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"House trained. Dab hand at microwave meals. Always stocked with a variety of biscuits.
I do look better in low light conditions and fuzzy filters "
Did someone say biscuits? |
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"Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?
Hmmm.
Anything more?
Short legs, Bert and Ernie and a lifetime supply of Haribo
Oh... Kinky stuff?
I like it"
Shit I forgot about the kinky stuff. Yep. Kinky stuff too. Check |
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"Um.
400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?
Sounds fake! "
If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic? |
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"Um.
400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?
Sounds fake!
If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?"
Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Don’t look like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen
But I do have a wicked ass and style
I am very house trained love to float around in skimpy outfits and do house work
Not to good at cooking but can order a good take away
Don’t mind being used at your beginning call or shared out when you need to
Dose my cv make the cut "
You make the shortlist |
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"Um.
400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?
Sounds fake!
If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?
Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe? "
I had to be informed that drinking a macdonalds milkshake is apparently more difficult than drinking a normal drink through a straw. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Um.
400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?
Sounds fake!
If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?"
You are serving it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Um.
400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?
Sounds fake!
If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?
Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe?
I had to be informed that drinking a macdonalds milkshake is apparently more difficult than drinking a normal drink through a straw."
Dyson to the fairies? |
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"Um.
400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?
Sounds fake!
If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?
Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe?
I had to be informed that drinking a macdonalds milkshake is apparently more difficult than drinking a normal drink through a straw."
It is.
Close enough xx |
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Ideally:
Looks like Jessicca Rabbit - with a wig and if you squint
Own yacht and private jet - could do miniature size
Sizeable independent income - Yeah, no.
Prepared to worship me unconditionally - negotiable
House trained - it's just squirt
Classically trained chef - not trained but excellent cook
J
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets! "
You “borrow” it I’ll fly it
Did my license for my 40th although it won’t be a jet more like a single engined plane |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets!
You “borrow” it I’ll fly it
Did my license for my 40th although it won’t be a jet more like a single engined plane "
I had fly sim 98... I reckon I can fly it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets!
You “borrow” it I’ll fly it
Did my license for my 40th although it won’t be a jet more like a single engined plane
I had fly sim 98... I reckon I can fly it."
So i have a pilot AND a co pilot? |
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