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Is good good?
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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Is nice nice?
And other such musings. This morning I've been thinking about language, the myriad of ways we use it to compliment others. Our biases in interpreting what is said.
Are you happy with being good or do you see it as being good enough? When it comes to giving compliments, are you a more expressive person or do you prefer to keep it minimal and rare? What compliments mean something to you? |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
I always stuggled with who decided what good or bad is and morality and all that what makes that the right way and why should people listen its one of the few things rattles around my dome
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Written down I would tend to qualify both nice and good with a 'so' or a 'really' because they are a little bland on their own. I think in speech I would occasionally use them without a qualifier because you can express so much more. Niiiiiice!
I think I compliment a lot but I never give any that I don't mean.
J |
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Nice and good are two much maligned words.
If someone says I'm good at something and means it I take it as a compliment. If someone says I'm nice I take that as a compliment too. Sometimes superlatives are cringey and an old fashioned good or nice is good and nice  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I hate being described as nice. Nice is boring. "
Yes, see that's how I view it for the most part. Nice is such a bland word but then again, maybe ornamentation isn't always needed in conversation.
I'm slowly hating it less. Understated, simple doesn't necessarily equal bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think as a society as a whole good is never deemed good enough. I always consider myself as average at most things, better than some people but not as good as others.
Again this is seen as derogatory with the world searching for excellence, in reality if we are all above average then no one is  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s nice to be having a Nice in Nice. Don’t knock nice; it’s a nice word with a sunny disposition.
I don’t care about the words people use to describe something nice, good, fun, enjoyable. If it’s a positive emotion, it can’t be not nice, surely.
Miles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also, good is not good when asked in a greeting.
How are you? I’m well, thank you.
How are you at running? I’m good at it. I can do ten steps before collapsing now.
Miles |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
Nice is sometimes pejorative when describing people. Whereas the original meaning still applies with experiences and events.
I wouldn't be the least bothered at being described as nice or good. And I think if someone felt discomfort at me using those terms to describe them, then it might be time to reset expectations.
Seriously though, what do people want to hear? |
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I try to live in a positive world as much as possible, being told for decades that I am not good enough for anyone, is hard to overcome. This is why I courtesy smile and thank you to all compliments. I may not believe them, but that's mine to overcome.
That has skewed my sensitivity to how people treat others and how I seek to spend time with good people. But I always will give genuine compliments, and whether they believe those, is up to them  |
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
Both have turned into words of colloquial non entity and better fitting now of sarcasm...
In their simplest form, I'm sure that previously to say the weather is "nice" would've had more meaning but, socially we've all become lazy and the words have become meaningless and empty.
Unless in sarcasm, I wouldn't use them but doesn't mean I won't compliment. My preference would be, to be, more flamboyant in my gestations and find something with a little more meaning, although sometimes at the cost of far too much deliberating what could be just a single word that is apt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The one I don’t like is:
I appreciate you
I appreciate a good cup of coffee, I’ve never used it for a person.
I feel that if someone says “I appreciate that” I always feel there is a “but” to come and a criticism |
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"I hate being described as nice. Nice is boring.
Yes, see that's how I view it for the most part. Nice is such a bland word but then again, maybe ornamentation isn't always needed in conversation.
I'm slowly hating it less. Understated, simple doesn't necessarily equal bad."
I don't find it, or good, bland at all in honesty. Solid words that mean something.
My perception maybe different though... being a guy, but not being very good at being a guy, because there's complimentary words to guys that are bad.
Like cute! Man, call some guys cute and it's the end of the world!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seriously though I think nice is positive when talking about attraction. And I like them as compliments about personality too. You’re a genuinely *NICE* person or you’re so *GOOD*.
They’ll do for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle to use language as well in person as I do when writing - so my real life compliments are undoubtedly more basic. I simply don't have great access to the words because my memory fails.
But otherwise, I like to take time to find the best way to compliment something the other person takes pride in or underestimates. I'm not a natural at compliments, but they're important to give no matter how they're formed. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Good is good, and I find it nice to be called nice.
It is about the intent and context in which it's being used.
A compliment to one person may feel insulting or offend to another.
I said it recently in another thread, trying to compliment a woman is often a minefield in what you can use.
Cute? Pretty? Some see it as minimal effort or unenthusiastic. To some no better than nice.
Beautiful? Gorgeous? Just saying it to the extremes to win somebody over.
Nothing wrong with any of those compliments, it's the intent behind them, the integrity of feeling in them, and how the recipient feels. |
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I don't like 'for your age' tacked on to the end of compliments given to me but I accept them in the spirit they're given.
I mean 'you look nice, for your age' doesn't give me much to work with but I'll take what I can get.
'you look good, for your age' a marginal improvement  .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like 'for your age' tacked on to the end of compliments given to me but I accept them in the spirit they're given.
I mean 'you look nice, for your age' doesn't give me much to work with but I'll take what I can get.
'you look good, for your age' a marginal improvement .
"
No but fr, you look GOOD, for any age  |
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"I don't like 'for your age' tacked on to the end of compliments given to me but I accept them in the spirit they're given.
I mean 'you look nice, for your age' doesn't give me much to work with but I'll take what I can get.
'you look good, for your age' a marginal improvement .
No but fr, you look GOOD, for any age "
Ta Mr P |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I don't like 'for your age' tacked on to the end of compliments given to me but I accept them in the spirit they're given.
I mean 'you look nice, for your age' doesn't give me much to work with but I'll take what I can get.
'you look good, for your age' a marginal improvement .
"
The infamous backhanded compliment. |
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"I don't like 'for your age' tacked on to the end of compliments given to me but I accept them in the spirit they're given.
I mean 'you look nice, for your age' doesn't give me much to work with but I'll take what I can get.
'you look good, for your age' a marginal improvement .
The infamous backhanded compliment. "
I've had plenty in my time. I find them really amusing, the most recent being
'I love your look, you must stick out like a sore thumb' . I laughed about that one for ages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love words and people who can express themselves well.
Nice and good are perfectly acceptable words but they are so over used.
They are a bit boring and usually lack any real feeling. For me, they are words that just are. And that's fine but sometimes I want more.
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Nice is sometimes pejorative when describing people. Whereas the original meaning still applies with experiences and events.
I wouldn't be the least bothered at being described as nice or good. And I think if someone felt discomfort at me using those terms to describe them, then it might be time to reset expectations.
Seriously though, what do people want to hear?"
Sincerity. Language is so subjective, what works for one person will be an instant no for another. If it's delivered with sincerity, even if there's a difference in communication styles, I like to think sincerity can help bridge that. |
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My favourite type of compliments are the subtle ones.
“Great jawline.”
“You’re so tall and handsome.”
“How do you get your hair so perfect?”
“Your penis is beautiful.”
“Your wife is so lucky.”
“If I had one wish it would be to have your babies.”
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I'm from North London originally.
"Baaad" and "Sick" came to mean good and wicked/awesome there, so its all about context.
I have low self worth and poor self esteem, I am awkward about how to deal with compliments. I blush a lot. I find it hard to believe somebody might appreciate something about me enough to tell me.
I give compliments out where I see they are due. I might fab a nice photo, I might send a pm to say I appreciate a comment, I might tell somebody they are gorgeous or sexy, I might say a Guy washes up tidy or whatever... I think it's nice to be kind and supportive of peoples efforts.
I find it sad that some people get all offended if you do that saying its being too personal or judgey, sign of the times I guess.  |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Nice is sometimes pejorative when describing people. Whereas the original meaning still applies with experiences and events.
I wouldn't be the least bothered at being described as nice or good. And I think if someone felt discomfort at me using those terms to describe them, then it might be time to reset expectations.
Seriously though, what do people want to hear?
Sincerity. Language is so subjective, what works for one person will be an instant no for another. If it's delivered with sincerity, even if there's a difference in communication styles, I like to think sincerity can help bridge that."
But if the recipient winces when they are told they are nice does sincerity make a difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm from North London originally.
"Baaad" and "Sick" came to mean good and wicked/awesome there, so its all about context.
I have low self worth and poor self esteem, I am awkward about how to deal with compliments. I blush a lot. I find it hard to believe somebody might appreciate something about me enough to tell me.
I give compliments out where I see they are due. I might fab a nice photo, I might send a pm to say I appreciate a comment, I might tell somebody they are gorgeous or sexy, I might say a Guy washes up tidy or whatever... I think it's nice to be kind and supportive of peoples efforts.
I find it sad that some people get all offended if you do that saying its being too personal or judgey, sign of the times I guess. "
Big up the North London mandem  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Seriously though I think nice is positive when talking about attraction. And I like them as compliments about personality too. You’re a genuinely *NICE* person or you’re so *GOOD*.
They’ll do for me. "
I like the way you've phrased this - when it comes to attraction or compliments we don't need the tasting menu of lexicon to accompany it necessarily. A positive sentiment can be just that without reading too much in to it. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Swanage |
"Is nice nice?
And other such musings. This morning I've been thinking about language, the myriad of ways we use it to compliment others. Our biases in interpreting what is said.
Are you happy with being good or do you see it as being good enough? When it comes to giving compliments, are you a more expressive person or do you prefer to keep it minimal and rare? What compliments mean something to you?"
this compliment rings true with me "you are like a summers day a fresh breathe a willows wisp"  |
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I find nice and good on a par with words like slut, whore etc. It all very much depends on context and who is saying it. Who doesn't like a nice cup of tea? Or have you been a good slut now and again? |
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By *ilBWoman
over a year ago
West Midlands |
"My favourite type of compliments are the subtle ones.
“Great jawline.”
“You’re so tall and handsome.”
“How do you get your hair so perfect?”
“Your penis is beautiful.”
“Your wife is so lucky.”
“If I had one wish it would be to have your babies.”
"
So smooth, I'll put one in ya Mrs first |
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"Is nice nice?
And other such musings. This morning I've been thinking about language, the myriad of ways we use it to compliment others. Our biases in interpreting what is said.
Are you happy with being good or do you see it as being good enough? When it comes to giving compliments, are you a more expressive person or do you prefer to keep it minimal and rare? What compliments mean something to you?"
I always found compliments difficult as a musician because when people keep telling you you’re amazing and one of the best they’ve seen its harder to keep grounded. I saw so many that changed into utter wankers with a bit of success. So i always just think ‘i think im good enough and there’s always someone better - thousands in fact… but good enough… is enough ’  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Is nice nice?
And other such musings. This morning I've been thinking about language, the myriad of ways we use it to compliment others. Our biases in interpreting what is said.
Are you happy with being good or do you see it as being good enough? When it comes to giving compliments, are you a more expressive person or do you prefer to keep it minimal and rare? What compliments mean something to you?"
I always think of ulterior motives when someone is nice but moreso when it is aimed at me as I rarely get compliments at all.
I'm happy being perceived as grumpy if I am honest as that means I never tried with them and I always try with people I like.
C |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring. "
Or in your case to annoy you, because you are quite nice. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring.
Or in your case to annoy you, because you are quite nice. "
I'll raise that to...she's lovely?
Oh she is not happy right now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring. "
You are nice.  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring.
You are nice. "
Like a big fluffy panda |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring.
You are nice.
Like a big fluffy panda"
That’s not what I was thinking.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Compliments only mean something if they are from someone that has spent time with you, on here they mean shit.
You're nice is generally a cop out for you're boring. "
I’m wildly in love with you just from looking at your forum posts.
How was that? X |
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