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Things you can say Christmas Morning and in the bedroom

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Give me 5 minutes, it'll work once I put the batteries in

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By *ornycougaWoman over a year ago

WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

Did Santa come last night?

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By *eeglos94Man over a year ago

Gloucester

That looks rather large, I can't wait to unwrap it

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By *entlemanrogueMan over a year ago

Motherwell

Wrap your hand around it and pull

Its a White Christmas

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Give grandma a nudge see if she's still alive

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

“Put it down until after your breakfast!”

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Oh look… he came

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

“Is this one for me?”

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

It makes a noise when I squeeze it.

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By *zeroMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Well time to get ready to stuff this bird.

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By *idlandiaMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Take one in each hand and pull

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"It makes a noise when I squeeze it.

Honk honk

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

Looks like a couple of inches this morning.

LvM

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"It makes a noise when I squeeze it.

Honk honk

I'm going to do that again

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By *eordieJeansCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Don’t open them until I’ve had a coffee.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Your Nan likes a big purple one.

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By *eordieJeansCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Don’t shake it, it’s fragile.

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"It makes a noise when I squeeze it.

Honk honk

I'm going to do that again

Ooh… saucy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did he come?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We can't forget the stuffing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow it's huge!

Jo.Xx

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By *eordieJeansCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Your mother’s going to love it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What the fuck is that.

Well that's a disappointment.

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Oh, it's smaller than it looked wrapped up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Be quiet, you'll wake Nan up!

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By *ickylouCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

More sausage grandma.

Don’t forget to put your teeth back in after

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Morning

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By *opinovMan over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Come on then, open it up.

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By *arren and AliciaCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

Is that the size you were wanting or prefer the bigger one

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By *he ass man 666Man over a year ago

paradise city

Pull my cracker

Cover my breasts in your gravy

That’s a juicy bird

I’m stuffed but can find room for more

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

Is that for me santa

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

Can i sit on that?

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

Happy christmas

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By *weet and SpiceCouple over a year ago

Around the Midlands

Is that a bird inside a bird inside a bird?

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By *he ass man 666Man over a year ago

paradise city

Looked bigger on the web site

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

its sunny warm and I'm too hot

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By *icky KlungespeareMan over a year ago

St Leonards

"Hey, you may not know it yet kid, but when you're 33, you are gonna get soooooooo nailed..."

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

Santa sit on this take the weight of

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You take that one. I’ll take this one.

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

Ive forgot the turkey its ok stuff me instead

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Just keep smiling, it’ll all be over for another year

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

Humbugs are good

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By *rionMan over a year ago

CUMBRIA

[Removed by poster at 25/12/23 03:42:31]

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By *rionMan over a year ago

CUMBRIA

. . . did you just say " I hope you kept the receipt "

=============

A quick X-mas joke to share with the family over diner :

What’s worse than mommy kissing Santa Claus?

Daddy giving Rudolph a reach-around.

----

okay okay, I will see myself out

Merry Christmas Everyone !

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By *xydadbodMan over a year ago

Milton keynes

Check out this huge sack I got this morning

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