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Sexually compatible or not
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By (user no longer on site) OP 18 weeks ago
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How important is sex to you, do you have to be sexually compatible to make a relationship work or is it only a part of a relationship?
If sex is important and your partner, the love of your life, was no longer able to partake for whatever reason, maybe medical, what would you do?
For me it’s a part of it, I can go without easily, if I was with someone and they could no longer “do it” there are so many other things you can do.
If they lost interest all together and we spoke about it, sourced counselling etc the honest answer is I don’t know what I’d do |
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By *stellaWoman 18 weeks ago
London |
It’s important to me.
If I was in a loving relationship where my partner no longer wanted to, I’d already be able to explore that element elsewhere as I’m a relationship anarchist and not seeking monogamy. |
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"Sex is an important part of my life and I would not be able to go without it. I would move on. "
That’s easier said. I really don’t think you can know unless you are or have been in that situation. As with most things. |
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Sex has never been a vital part of my life and still isn't.
I've gone 10 years with no sexual contact at all.
I've been here nearly 8 years and never once acted like a child in a sweet shop.
I'm still extremely fussy who I choose to get naked with. Emphasis on the word "choose".
I don't have sex just for the sake of it and never have done. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 18 weeks ago
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I think that for me it’s the definition of sex.
If you’re talking intercourse as meaning sex.
Maybe intimacy is a better way of looking at it. There’s a lot that can be done without actual “penetration or even with help from the that.
I guess it is also more of a “mental thing” as in you no longer find them sexually attractive.
So I could live without actual penetration but not without touch and intimacy |
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It's important to me but there's far more important things in a long term relationship it wouldn't be the be all and end all, there's other things that can be done and compromise that can be made.
As long as communication is open it would be fine.
Mrs |
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I'm ethically non-monogamous so I could probably make it work if they could no longer have sex any more.
If they didn't want to have sex with me because they didn't fancy me anymore then that would be a deal-breaker. |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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I’m in that predicament now, happily married for years. Due to cancer treatment and going through change, has put an end to our sex life. She can’t have hrt or anything like that. |
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Compatibility will always change during a relationship. Tiredness, health, stress, shift patterns, kids and a million other things effect drive and desire. What we both do though is recognise when we are off our game and make sure the other doesn't suffer as a result. Sometimes that can be telling the other to masturbate or just helping the other to get off with oral/hands. It never lasts long and we are back to the filthy fuck times. |
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"I’m in that predicament now, happily married for years. Due to cancer treatment and going through change, has put an end to our sex life. She can’t have hrt or anything like that. "
It's great that you have found a solution that you're both happy with. I'm sure that you're going above and beyond to make sure she's not feeling crappy about you being here with her consent. |
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I would.seek a solution with my partner. I think if we were still.intimate kissing etc I could get by with my wand. if even that goes then yes i would seek it elsewhere with the blessing of my partner. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 18 weeks ago
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I think that maybe I am naive, I love to see that sparkle in their eye, their body react to a touch.
I also need chat, not just sexual, but something that makes my mind spin a little.
I don’t want to feel life becomes a “chore” when with someone, yes life can get in the way, but try and remember that initial attraction and spark.
So yes probably naive or a dreamer that comparability, for me, is more than sex. If I looked at me now compared to 30 years ago or even 10 years ago well let’s just say I have started to like a fry up more 
So yes, it’s a complete “package” for me |
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"Sex is an important part of my life and I would not be able to go without it. I would move on.
The loving commitment is strong with you isnt it? "
Fucked enough women in all kinds of relationships to know commitment is a temporary thing. |
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Sex has so many forms. I would still be happy with them even if we couldn't have penetrative sex (there are plenty of possibilities still available).
If it was due to them not being interested in me anymore then that's a whole different kettle of fish. We'd talk, try find out what the issue is and make a decision as to what happens going forward x |
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In a long relationship you're going to encounter all sorts of problems. Some can be resolved to the satisfaction of both and some can't. The strength of the relationship has more influence on whether the partners can live with any lack of resolution rather than sexual compatibility. |
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By *red333Man 18 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sex has so many forms. I would still be happy with them even if we couldn't have penetrative sex (there are plenty of possibilities still available).
If it was due to them not being interested in me anymore then that's a whole different kettle of fish. We'd talk, try find out what the issue is and make a decision as to what happens going forward x"
How could anyone not be interested in you  |
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"Faithful people on fab..
They want to bed hop, shag anything with legs and pussy.
Some want married wifes.. Everyone is different."
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Faithless people on Fab..
They want to bed hop,shag anything with legs and cock.
Some want married husbands.. Everyone is different.  |
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"Sex has so many forms. I would still be happy with them even if we couldn't have penetrative sex (there are plenty of possibilities still available).
If it was due to them not being interested in me anymore then that's a whole different kettle of fish. We'd talk, try find out what the issue is and make a decision as to what happens going forward xHow could anyone not be interested in you "
Cos I'm almost 50, boobs are at my knees and I've more wrinkles than an old man's ball sack |
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"How important is sex to you, do you have to be sexually compatible to make a relationship work or is it only a part of a relationship?
If sex is important and your partner, the love of your life, was no longer able to partake for whatever reason, maybe medical, what would you do?
For me it’s a part of it, I can go without easily, if I was with someone and they could no longer “do it” there are so many other things you can do.
If they lost interest all together and we spoke about it, sourced counselling etc the honest answer is I don’t know what I’d do "
My husband and I don't have sex. He us asexual and much prefers being intimate in other ways. I do miss sex with him because I fancy the pants offa him but our relationship is much more than sex. He's a good man, an excellent father to my children, a good provider. He makes me happy, and I him. We have loads of shared experiences and have been through several difficult times, and come out the other side stronger, together. We have a lot of fun. There's lots of cuddles, hand holding, kissing. I love him dearly and we have a good life together. We just don't have sex.
I get that need fulfilled elsewhere. |
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By *red333Man 18 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sex has so many forms. I would still be happy with them even if we couldn't have penetrative sex (there are plenty of possibilities still available).
If it was due to them not being interested in me anymore then that's a whole different kettle of fish. We'd talk, try find out what the issue is and make a decision as to what happens going forward xHow could anyone not be interested in you
Cos I'm almost 50, boobs are at my knees and I've more wrinkles than an old man's ball sack "
really i never noticed |
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"Sex has so many forms. I would still be happy with them even if we couldn't have penetrative sex (there are plenty of possibilities still available).
If it was due to them not being interested in me anymore then that's a whole different kettle of fish. We'd talk, try find out what the issue is and make a decision as to what happens going forward xHow could anyone not be interested in you
Cos I'm almost 50, boobs are at my knees and I've more wrinkles than an old man's ball sack really i never noticed "
Distraction techniques work wonders |
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Sex and intimacy is very important to me in a relationship, and inherently intrinsic for it to thrive (for me). My relationship wavered and eventually failed to thrive which lead to the disintegration of our compatibilities.
Intimacy is important to me. I wouldn't be here otherwise. |
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Sex is important to me, but less so than love and commitment. If you stay with someone for long enough, you will encounter all kinds of difficulties, emotional and physical and financial, and all of these things can impact your sex life. If you’re prepared to walk away when things change, it was never love to begin with. Sharing your life with someone means being there when things become difficult. I would even say, you don’t even know if it’s love until things go wrong. So no, I don’t want to live without sex, and at the moment I don’t have to, as we are both free to meet others if we wish, but if our circumstances were to change, I would definitely choose Ailsa over my sex life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 18 weeks ago
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"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious x"
This is my point, if you were with someone for years or months and something happened where they couldn’t have sex, most probably medically related, would people end that relationship on those grounds or seek alternate ways to pleasure each other |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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Clearly sex is important to people on Fab! I wouldn't want to be in a relationship (again) where we were sexually incompatible. It's important to me. I'd like an ENM relationship from the start where both of us can meet sexual needs from others as needed. |
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"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious xomg is their a voluntary euthanasia option "
I’ll take you to Switzerland, Fred. |
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By *red333Man 18 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious xomg is their a voluntary euthanasia option
I’ll take you to Switzerland, Fred."
really i love Switzerland |
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"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious xomg is their a voluntary euthanasia option
I’ll take you to Switzerland, Fred."
I've booked his ticket |
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"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious x
This is my point, if you were with someone for years or months and something happened where they couldn’t have sex, most probably medically related, would people end that relationship on those grounds or seek alternate ways to pleasure each other "
Seem alternate ways to pleasure each other.
There's a whole lot of emotions tied up in the actual act of penetration though. Far more than you realise. That's the difficult thing to navigate rather than the practicalities |
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"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious xomg is their a voluntary euthanasia option
I’ll take you to Switzerland, Fred.really i love Switzerland "
We’ll go skiing first, maybe you’ll do the Sonny Bono move and the next stop on the itinerary won’t be necessary |
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By *red333Man 18 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious xomg is their a voluntary euthanasia option
I’ll take you to Switzerland, Fred.
I've booked his ticket "
 |
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By *red333Man 18 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Sorry to go off tangent but for those saying sex is important to them.....
What if it were you who couldn't have sex?
Just curious xomg is their a voluntary euthanasia option
I’ll take you to Switzerland, Fred.really i love Switzerland
We’ll go skiing first, maybe you’ll do the Sonny Bono move and the next stop on the itinerary won’t be necessary "
i can ski but don't go anywhere cold usually I've been up mount eiger mind |
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It depends really. If I felt loved and I loved them then I would manage getting by on cuddles and kisses etc.
Sex is important to me and I enjoy it. A lot. I’d also like a fella who enjoys doing it with me a lot.
But if I loved and adored them and they were unable to do the sex due to illness or whatnot then I’d just have a rub more often.
If I felt they were getting their sexual needs met elsewhere and were just playing me off then they’d get the elbow.
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"How important is sex to you, do you have to be sexually compatible to make a relationship work or is it only a part of a relationship?
"
It's important but not the be all and end all. Having a mental connection is far more important to me |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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It's very important for me. Yes I'm a lovely guy with lots going for me, but I need to know that I'm sexually desirable. There's no relationship without that confirmatory sex. A friendship yes. Peck on cheek and 'holding the distance' hug.
I'd have to live on memories if sex could not happen. But if I couldn't have sex for some reason, and a person still wanted to stay/be with me, I'd do everything I could with what I had available to me.... which might be enough. But if there was something clearly missing, like an erect penis, I would want them to go and get it elsewhere, without shame or judgement. If they didn't want to stay with me, I'd understand. Knowing that we are sexually desirable is too important a part of the human condition. |
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Do you mean penetration or all sexual activity?
Before joining fab I could happily be in a sexless relationship, nowadays, not a chance, I'd end it and walk, I don't need the penetration part, but I desperately need the sensual part and choose not to live without it. |
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By *sWyldWoman 18 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
It's important to me but so is chemistry, affection, matched effort, good communication, mutual respect and honesty.
For a relationship to work, I need all of those things.
Sexual compatability is important but it can also improve with time too. |
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Having been in a previous marriage where all intimacy of any kind stopped, the basics of the marriage stopped as well.
Trying to cope with it caused more harm to both sides and it was easier to end the relationship. (Safer for my sanity as well) |
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