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By *uperS77 OP Man 45 weeks ago
Gloucester |
It’s a really vicious evil unrelenting beast.
Like a tsunami when that tide is being drawn back out to sea, you think you’ve escaped it, things go on, not normally, but there’s an existence, even some mild relief, some laughter.
Then when you least expect it that wave has built up and up, it sees and waits for you unexpectedly, and crashes back down making those drowning emotions, the churning and breathlessness rise up once again, and the beast sits there once again satisfied with its chaos once more. |
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It is truly one of the worst feelings of all time, I’d never really experienced it until my father died earlier this year followed shortly by my uncle.
Life will never be the same for as long as I’m alive and I think about the good times often and feel bitter that I will never have any more good memories.
It has fucked me mentally more than anything else ever has and I don’t think I will ever truly come to terms with such a big loss. |
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Cliche i know but time is a good healer. Songs gets me. Certain ones make me gibbering wreck, even smells and certain phrases. I doubt i will everreally truely get over my loss but in time, as each year, milestone, passes I will certainly deal with it better.
❤️
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Grief has no time span its not somthing you ever get over you just learn to live and exist along side it I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other last year then lost 3 friends and family members this year like you say you think your getting over it then it smacks you in the face again and so the cycle begins again big hugs to hun anyone going through grief it's not easy but try to remember the good times xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Yes OP we have to ride the waves and think we now have to live as they would hate us not too. Life is to short and they live inside our hearts until we go. xx BIG HUGS X |
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"I still have a voice mail my mum left. It’s about masterchef. 5 years later it’s still on my phone. "
Ah that's nice I'd love to her my mum and dad's voice again but they never left messages if I didn't answer |
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Very good analogy OP, struggling like fuck at the minute and know only time will heal the blow, no words, cards or flowers can help the feeling, you certainly find out who your real friends are at a time like this. I am really struggling to stay positive and am finding myself getting into a darker place as time goes by; we have a social event this Saturday and feel as though we ought to go, although neither of us is feeling sociable or sexual at the minute. |
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"Very good analogy OP, struggling like fuck at the minute and know only time will heal the blow, no words, cards or flowers can help the feeling, you certainly find out who your real friends are at a time like this. I am really struggling to stay positive and am finding myself getting into a darker place as time goes by; we have a social event this Saturday and feel as though we ought to go, although neither of us is feeling sociable or sexual at the minute."
Just wanted to acknowledge this post too.
People are listening.
Try and make the effort to go, people will help. |
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"Very good analogy OP, struggling like fuck at the minute and know only time will heal the blow, no words, cards or flowers can help the feeling, you certainly find out who your real friends are at a time like this. I am really struggling to stay positive and am finding myself getting into a darker place as time goes by; we have a social event this Saturday and feel as though we ought to go, although neither of us is feeling sociable or sexual at the minute."
So sorry 😢.
Are you seeking help from any organisations eg Sue Ryder?
You do find out who your friends are and often they're the ones you least expect.
If you don't want to go to the social event, don't. There are no rules. |
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Thanks for that, we know we are under no obligations to attend, but I think the change of scenery will do us good, also meeting friends we know who don’t know anything of our private life. To be honest neither of us knows what we want, we have discussed attending the social and just taking every minute as it arrives; also very aware that life stops for no-one. In the forces we were always told, ‘If you’re looking for ‘Sympathy’, you will find it in the dictionary, between ‘Shit’ and ‘Syphilis!’ Always amused me lol |
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By *oxy-RedWoman 26 weeks ago
pink panther territory |
You right op there's no pain like grief and I'm so very sorry that your going through it
Trust me it will get better ,life just goes on it doesn't stop because of us grieving ,days turn into weeks then months then years
You learn to live without your loved ones ,you never forget them and in time you will laugh at precious memories that you shared,and of course you will cry
I still cry 10 years after losing both my Dad and partner within 6 months of each other
Life will get better big hugs |
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