FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > 1st thing to your left is going straight up your arse.
1st thing to your left is going straight up your arse.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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How Much trouble you in? 
I'm fucked,it's a 7ft high fibre optic xmas tree  |
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Sky Remote!!🤦🏻♂️
Think Fab has seen enough of those up folks arses! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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"Sky Remote!!🤦🏻♂️
Think Fab has seen enough of those up folks arses!"
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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A footlong of Salami.
Result.
Pleasurable and tasty. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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"A footlong of Salami.
Result.
Pleasurable and tasty. "
good luck |
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By *WANDTGCouple 30 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
Wow , I got a steel column to my left !! |
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By *enk15Man 30 weeks ago
Evesham |
A calculator... pass the lube, I got this. |
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A bookshelf.
I may be gone some time... |
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A tiny herb grinder... I ain't getting that back! 🫣😅 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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Quite a few medical emergencies upcoming me thinks |
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A Tesco delivery van.
Well this is going to be interesting… |
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I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience  ... |
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By *ltrMan 30 weeks ago
sheffield |
Kenwood microwave, gonna have to do this I'm stages  |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ..."
You know you want the sofa bed really.
Because you want to feel the conversion. |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"A calculator... pass the lube, I got this."
If you are smart you could quickly calculate radius. See if you guessed correctly… |
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By *acd03Man 30 weeks ago
Naughtyville |
"How Much trouble you in?
I'm fucked,it's a 7ft high fibre optic xmas tree "
Mines a set of 4ft forklift-truck forks and their attached headstock.
Ouch
Best fetch the lube methinks  |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"How Much trouble you in?
I'm fucked,it's a 7ft high fibre optic xmas tree "
Let’s be honest. When did you last get a fairy up your arse? |
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"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
You know you want the sofa bed really.
Because you want to feel the conversion. "
I want my mummy!!! |
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A katana...I think I may be dead |
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I’m in bed laying on my right side so it’s either the duvet or the ceiling lightbulb and light shade! Not the big light surely!!! |
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It's a thick sharpie marker... doable I'd say |
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A telescope… which planet is that I can see? |
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"A telescope… which planet is that I can see?"
Sat on? |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"A telescope… which planet is that I can see?
Sat on?"
Uranus |
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"A telescope… which planet is that I can see?
Sat on?
Uranus "
Not any more - it's too sore! |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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My dog  |
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Roll of wrapping paper. Lengthy! Paper cuts aplenty thouh |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"Roll of wrapping paper. Lengthy! Paper cuts aplenty thouh"
Why can't I be sat next to you.. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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My gear stick. I’ll give it a go but I think the other people in the traffic jam might wonder what’s going on. |
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Coffee cup....big trouble if it shatters! |
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By *oxdawgMan 30 weeks ago
Linthorpe |
A rather girthy deoderant bottle... I can do that |
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By *eyeYCouple 30 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
One of the kids super soakers, I'll pass 😜😳 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
It'a a multicoloured feather duster! That's going to tickle!
🤪 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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"My gear stick. I’ll give it a go but I think the other people in the traffic jam might wonder what’s going on. "
🎶DRIVE IT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS🎶😂 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ..."
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝 |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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An amazon echo speaker. Im guessing someone will come along saying “done that”….as size wise looks achievable to a degree for some. |
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A massive high backed old fashioned antique chair.
I might be able to take the fist inch or 2 of the legs, but would then be in trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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23inch monitor...
That's gonna need lube. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"A telescope… which planet is that I can see?"
Marse |
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"A telescope… which planet is that I can see?
Marse"
Very very good. Nice not seeing the typical Uranus joke |
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"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝"
Glow put the sofa bed up me!
And then put the sofa bed down.
In me.
😭😭😭 |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝"
Umm s’cuse moi.. do I LOOK like I have things up my ass? Do I? |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝
Glow put the sofa bed up me!
And then put the sofa bed down.
In me.
😭😭😭"
Well, I'm sure she needed a lie-down after that. |
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"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝
Glow put the sofa bed up me!
And then put the sofa bed down.
In me.
😭😭😭
Well, I'm sure she needed a lie-down after that. "
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝
Umm s’cuse moi.. do I LOOK like I have things up my ass? Do I? "
Darling! I couldn't possibly comment! |
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"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝
Umm s’cuse moi.. do I LOOK like I have things up my ass? Do I? "
🤔🤔
Yes 💁♂️
💋😘 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝
Umm s’cuse moi.. do I LOOK like I have things up my ass? Do I?
🤔🤔
Yes 💁♂️
💋😘"
Nicky, on the other hand, has trouble not commenting...  |
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my phone but i am not going to try putting that up my bum  |
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"I'm "buggered" either way - it's either the heavy duty sofa I'm sitting on, or the almost heavy-duty sofa bed next to it.
I might need Davina, Glow, or MB to help me get it up there - I think they have bum-filling experience ...
Excuse me! What kind of a gurl do you think I am!? Speak to Glow! 😝
Umm s’cuse moi.. do I LOOK like I have things up my ass? Do I?
🤔🤔
Yes 💁♂️
💋😘
Nicky, on the other hand, has trouble not commenting... "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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"my phone but i am not going to try putting that up my bum "
leave the camera on, probably make top of the hot pics |
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"A calculator... pass the lube, I got this."
Hope it’s not a scientific one?! |
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"A razor 🤯😵💫😵
Mrs"
Didn’t Sticky Vicky put those up her bum?🤔 |
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coconut oil
...I think half of you may need to borrow it for your items before I use it!  |
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By *k_123Man 30 weeks ago
the north |
A Christmas Tree with the Virgin Mary cuming up the rear 😀😀 |
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"One of the cats... 😳"
Oh the claws! And just you wait until they get the zoomies! 😬 |
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"My gear stick. I’ll give it a go but I think the other people in the traffic jam might wonder what’s going on.
🎶DRIVE IT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS🎶😂
Devotee101, CLASSIC "
How did I not see this earlier?
That's sublime OP 👏👏🏿👏🏻👏🏾👏🏼👏🏽 |
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Oh well a fat biro is better than nothing but it’s a bit small ☹️💋 |
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By *DDawnTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Aylesbury |
Lego Saturn V rocket. It'll kill me. It's four foot tall |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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"My gear stick. I’ll give it a go but I think the other people in the traffic jam might wonder what’s going on.
🎶DRIVE IT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS🎶😂
Devotee101, CLASSIC
How did I not see this earlier?
That's sublime OP 👏👏🏿👏🏻👏🏾👏🏼👏🏽"
I was rather proud of it myself |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Well I'm sat parked up in car so it's the car seat |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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A snake |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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A cushion! |
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By *afkaMan 30 weeks ago
Nottingham |
A bottle of Baileys Original Irish cream. |
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By *ickylouCouple 30 weeks ago
Birmingham |
An 8 burner ranger with 4 ovens.
Think I will need to lube it up quite liberally and bite on a stick.
Mind you. If I turn on all the ovens and insert it I will have a hot ass for once |
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A big inflatable Christmas tree |
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Oh fucking hell. It is my dog. Fuck sake |
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"Oh fucking hell. It is my dog. Fuck sake "
Poo-meranian? |
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Shit, I think the phone looks a bit chunky |
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By *ayTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
North Yorkshire |
Pack of 4 chocolate eclairs...whoops make that 3 |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Tower bridge. Bummer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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"Amazon firestick remote "
that's you getting kicked up the arse to tune in to the Usyk v Fury fight |
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"Oh fucking hell. It is my dog. Fuck sake "
Is it a shit-zu ?? 🤣🤣🤣 |
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"Oh fucking hell. It is my dog. Fuck sake
Poo-meranian?"
🤣🤣🤣 |
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A 7ft radiator, and the heating is on, 😂🤣😂 |
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"Oh fucking hell. It is my dog. Fuck sake
Is it a shit-zu ?? 🤣🤣🤣"
😂😂😂 |
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By *a1970Man 30 weeks ago
East cork |
"My husband  "
totally acceptable |
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Shoe horn. If I start with the narrow end I might be fine. |
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The dog?
I don't think that's legally or morally an option 💜 |
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He’s 6’2, does all of him have to fit up my bum? 😬 |
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By *aizyWoman 30 weeks ago
west midlands |
A book, I'll finish reading it first tho. |
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Roland Juno G and Ultranova Synthesizers on a stand....ow. |
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A bic pen. That isn't coming back out. |
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"He’s 6’2, does all of him have to fit up my bum? 😬"
If it was just 2" of his finger he's a lucky Sod. |
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Jesus.... the TV remote will never be the same again |
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A glass of Pinot Grigio. That would be a waste! |
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Tv remote. Not tried it before |
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"A glass of Pinot Grigio. That would be a waste!"
Oh no no no... try your other left. Can't waste that. Lol |
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By *a1970Man 30 weeks ago
East cork |
OK.... Just got very interesting |
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By *abluesbabyMan 30 weeks ago
Gibraltar/Cheshire/London |
A Fender Deluxe Reverb guitar amp. Nope. That ain't happening! All the lube in the world will do absolutely nothing haha |
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A 2ft tall Nutcracker Soldier!!
No, No, No that is not happening!! |
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I fucking doubt it. A twin panel central heating radiator |
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By *a1970Man 30 weeks ago
East cork |
Not going to be a good night |
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A glass bottle of Nerumae sleep spray…. I think not |
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By *ags73Man 30 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Please, not the dog!!"
Same 😬 |
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By *mf123Man 30 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
The christmas tree it is problem is the needles tho when i pull it out |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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His sleeping face 🤭 |
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Laptop... Well this should be interesting.. |
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By *inkShyWoman 30 weeks ago
near Windsor |
"His sleeping face 🤭"
😂🤣😂 |
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By *inkShyWoman 30 weeks ago
near Windsor |
A light up gonk
I'll look like a firefly 💡🪰 |
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A puffee, or as others call it, a foot stool |
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This could be bake off....a family size stollen and a tin of custard |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Remote control |
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Body Shop Lemon Hand-Sanitiser it is then . |
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By *ayTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
North Yorkshire |
Cheese and onion crisp sandwich?? |
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I've got two heavy-duty and spikey back-scratchers right next to the hand-sanitiser.
I had a lucky escape . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 30 weeks ago
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My friends wheelchair |
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"My friends wheelchair "
Is your friend still in it? |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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I am not putting my dog up there |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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A baby wipe lol |
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"I am not putting my dog up there "
....again.... |
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Cat scratcher, it’s so girthy 😳 |
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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My Christmas Tree 🎄 |
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Today it's a statue of sitting Buddha.
Seems more realistic than a wall, I feel like I may go to hell for it. Or be reincarnated as a heretic during the Spanish inquisition. |
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"Today it's a statue of sitting Buddha.
Seems more realistic than a wall, I feel like I may go to hell for it. Or be reincarnated as a heretic during the Spanish inquisition."
If Buddha gets stuck, just torque 'im 'arder 🙃. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 30 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Today it's a statue of sitting Buddha.
Seems more realistic than a wall, I feel like I may go to hell for it. Or be reincarnated as a heretic during the Spanish inquisition.
If Buddha gets stuck, just torque 'im 'arder 🙃."
😖 |
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"He’s 6’2, does all of him have to fit up my bum? 😬
If it was just 2" of his finger he's a lucky Sod. "
2 and a half inches and he becomes deeply unlucky 💩 |
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"Sky Remote!!🤦🏻♂️
Think Fab has seen enough of those up folks arses!"
Mines a virgin remote, other tv services are available |
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By (user no longer on site) 7 days ago
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As long as I can take my watch off I'm sure my hand would fit snuggly |
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Coke can. (Prob the 1000th time I have shoved a can up my hole over the years |
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I'm sitting here with my left arm on the window sill, so... The window pane? 😵💫 |
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By *hortieWoman 7 days ago
Northampton |
My phone.
It's on vibrate, so can everyone ring me in about 5 minutes please....!!! |
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