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Better at the sex: Part 1

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham

As a mediocre shagger I've decided to embark on a quest to become better at the sex by putting forth sex surveys to you good folk!

Part 1: “And then I went and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like…”

Sex talk. What has someone whispered into your ear during the throes of passion that has made you throw them off of you or killed the mood? Just so I know what not to say

Please and thanks 😉

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By *he MinionMan 29 weeks ago

.

Did you put the bins out ?

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By *he MinionMan 29 weeks ago

.


"Did you put the bins out ?"

I laughed so much, it proper killed the mood

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By *avidretfordMan 29 weeks ago

oldham

My MOT is due today

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By *adbod2godbodMan 29 weeks ago

Manchester

.....that was textbook intercourse

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By *cLovin2Man 29 weeks ago

London

The house is going to be repossessed today

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By *ags73Man 29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Mediocre?

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By *cLovin2Man 29 weeks ago

London

You know your mum's better at this

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

You've not done anything on the sex to do list yet that you promised me

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"Did you put the bins out ?

I laughed so much, it proper killed the mood"

Did you put the bins out though?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman 29 weeks ago

London

„Cum for daddy”

🤢

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By *cLovin2Man 29 weeks ago

London

I've just signed us all up to become Mormons.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"Mediocre?"

Yes. No judgement please.

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By *cLovin2Man 29 weeks ago

London


"„Cum for daddy”

🤢"

Would you prefer mummy?

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By *ags73Man 29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"Mediocre?

Yes. No judgement please."

Self improvement bud.

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By *he MinionMan 29 weeks ago

.


"Did you put the bins out ?

I laughed so much, it proper killed the mood

Did you put the bins out though?"

No, i dont think i had !

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"Mediocre?

Yes. No judgement please.

Self improvement bud."

I’ve been trying “self improvement” since I was 14… hasn’t gotten me far.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"„Cum for daddy”

🤢"

*makes notes*

No daddy talk, got it.

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

"My ex used to do that..."

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"I've just signed us all up to become Mormons. "

Sounds pretty sexy to me…

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

Are you in yet?

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By *quirrel!Man 29 weeks ago

L

“Feel the wrath of Krull the warrior king, evil wench maiden”!

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By *ameisnawtyMan 29 weeks ago

anywhere

The results of that tests not back yet

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By *ags73Man 29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"Mediocre?

Yes. No judgement please.

Self improvement bud.

I’ve been trying “self improvement” since I was 14… hasn’t gotten me far."

Good effort, but you’re probably doomed

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"“Feel the wrath of Krull the warrior king, evil wench maiden”!"

Wait… have we shagged?

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"Mediocre?

Yes. No judgement please.

Self improvement bud.

I’ve been trying “self improvement” since I was 14… hasn’t gotten me far.

Good effort, but you’re probably doomed "

Probably. Luckily I have an average personality to fall back on.

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By *quirrel!Man 29 weeks ago

L


"“Feel the wrath of Krull the warrior king, evil wench maiden”!

Wait… have we shagged?"

Wench? Is that you?

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By *ags73Man 29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"Mediocre?

Yes. No judgement please.

Self improvement bud.

I’ve been trying “self improvement” since I was 14… hasn’t gotten me far.

Good effort, but you’re probably doomed

Probably. Luckily I have an average personality to fall back on."

Good good.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"“Feel the wrath of Krull the warrior king, evil wench maiden”!

Wait… have we shagged?

Wench? Is that you? "

I thought I recognised those nipples!!!

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By *elix SightedMan 29 weeks ago

Cloud 8

“That reminds me, I need to unclog the drains tomorrow.”

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By *riar BelisseWoman 29 weeks ago

Holibobs

"You dirty cunt" made my vag tighten up and spit him out quicker than a bullet train...

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By *orny PTMan 29 weeks ago

Peterborough

What was that? Then scratch away at the pubes.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"“That reminds me, I need to unclog the drains tomorrow.”"

Was this ⬇️ said after this ⬆️?


""You dirty cunt" made my vag tighten up and spit him out quicker than a bullet train..."

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"What was that? Then scratch away at the pubes."

Pube scratching was part of my aftercare routine, but I guess that’s out now 🙄

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By *oxy-RedWoman 29 weeks ago

pink panther territory

Did you let the cat in

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

Is it in yet ?

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By *illionsandbillionsMan 29 weeks ago

Gwent

"Have you got the heating on"

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"Did you let the cat in "

Was it a euphemism?

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

"Where do you want daddies cummies babygirl?"

After that sentence, nowhere lol it was the word cummies that put me off more than anything 🤢

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


""Have you got the heating on""

Oh that just sounds like you made them hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna wearing a winter coat.

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

What’s that squelchy noise

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By *a LunaWoman 29 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Asked if I fancied a FFM threesome.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


""Where do you want daddies cummies babygirl?"

After that sentence, nowhere lol it was the word cummies that put me off more than anything 🤢 "

Daddies

Cummies (this is a new one for me)

Babygirl

None of it sounds good.

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By *illionsandbillionsMan 29 weeks ago

Gwent

Either that or i did have it on lol

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

Pss-pss-pss-pss

I don’t know what he was trying to summon. Poor guy.

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By *ortySwitchMan 29 weeks ago

london


"Asked if I fancied a FFM threesome.

"

Wel? Did you?

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By *ags73Man 29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"Pss-pss-pss-pss

I don’t know what he was trying to summon. Poor guy. "

Like noises for a cat or something.

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By *icky KlungespeareMan 29 weeks ago

St Leonards

"But I really do think the Vimle will work better with the shape and light of the room than the Landskrona..."

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By *ffervescentMan 29 weeks ago

winfrith

someone called me by the wrong name once ,not good .

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago

Good girl, it's not cute.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"Good girl, it's not cute."

I’ve turned off many a porn because the dude can’t stop saying this.

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By *cLovin2Man 29 weeks ago

London

I did tell you that I've got herpes...

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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago


"someone called me by the wrong name once ,not good ."

Ah my ex did this, probably not wise on his part when his penis was near my mouth.

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By *icecouple561Couple 29 weeks ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"the police are coming to get you".

The guy turned very weird and the meet did not go well.

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By *midnight-Woman 29 weeks ago

...

Settled in for a BJ at the end of a 3-hour session and suddenly the guy gets all chatty and asks are you really your fab age?? It gave me the giggles, so I sat up and said oh do you just want to have a chat instead

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By *aitonelMan 29 weeks ago

Liverpool


"someone called me by the wrong name once ,not good .

Ah my ex did this, probably not wise on his part when his penis was near my mouth.

"

Becky is not that difficult to remember

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


""the police are coming to get you".

The guy turned very weird and the meet did not go well. "

And there was no role play involved?

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman 29 weeks ago

North West


""But I really do think the Vimle will work better with the shape and light of the room than the Landskrona...""

That's the sort of thing I might say. 🫣🤣

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By *icky KlungespeareMan 29 weeks ago

St Leonards


""But I really do think the Vimle will work better with the shape and light of the room than the Landskrona..."

That's the sort of thing I might say. 🫣🤣"

You realised you've just crushed my fantasies about you Julie 😥😭😫

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By *cLovin2Man 29 weeks ago

London

The ceiling needs painting...

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By *ags73Man 29 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"The ceiling needs painting..."

That’s positive though as she’s on top.

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By *enk15 OP   Man 29 weeks ago

Evesham


"The ceiling needs painting..."

That’s just an invitation for some painting sex up a ladder.

2 birds 1 stone.

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By *ouble-SidedCouple 29 weeks ago

Voldsøy

He said "BOOM" for a laugh, while he was inside me. I think it was a quote from a film we'd just watched. We laughed so much, it killed it for a while. I just could not stop thinking about it and giggling 🙈

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan 29 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

Two times in my life I have been in the throws and their husband/partner have come home early/unannounced. I don't remember the exact wording but needless to say, on both occasions, what was said at that point definitely killed the mood.

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