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One way conversations
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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Do you find that a lot of your conversations tend to be one way traffic ? You tend to be putting in all the effort to keep the dialog going.
I don’t just mean conversations on fab but on any messaging platform and I’m specifically talking about pre meet convo’s.
Also just not chats started by you but also instigated by the other party.
If so at what point do you think this just isn’t working for me ? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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Definitely on here. I try but soon eventually have enough. Its more annoying when I am upfront and say it's fine if you longer want to talk to me and they insist they are loving it only to remain silent still. Just be honest |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 25 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Not often.
I've not long since unfriended someone on Facebook where it was all one way. They'd post depressive status updates, people would reply with constructive comments and they were never interested. I messaged them to see how they were and after giving me their woe is me story, didn't want to know anything about improving matters.
I gave it up as a one way conversation. They just wanted people to feel sorry for them  |
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By *essaMayWoman 25 weeks ago
Fairytale Wood |
Guilty  depends con the conversation - historical conversations usually followed this format:
Guys telling me how amazing they were and they were the answers to all my dreams, how they could ... etc
Then it was yeah, ok, la la la, heard it all before. Have a good day, Take care, bored now, bye.
Then it was, prick tease, timewaster, fake etc etc - block |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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If it becomes hard work, I lose interest pretty quickly. I know toddlers that can communicate better than a lot of people and it's jarring to say the least! The worst ones are those who are consistent ininitiating conversation but then expect me to carry it.. what do you want from me  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I find this a lot with single women, who are obviously juggling multiple conversations
I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for a few "yes", "no " , emoji only answers, but if it continues I'll just close it
Effort needs to be made on both sides. |
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I can chat till the cows come home but I need to be stimulated enough to do so. I am very passive unless I am really interested which nowadays doesn’t happen often.
People ask for a chat here and because I have the time at present I say yes, and always, ALWAYS it’s the “so, what are you up to today hun” or “Any plans for today”, so I just don’t reply. 🥱
The people I’ve met on here from years ago we started chatting over something we picked up from each other’s profile and got talking and the interest and spark was there. |
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Complete time wasters, particularly if they contact me and then proceed with one or two word replies. I'm always happy to chat and write a nice message but very dispiriting to get a one word response. |
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I try to give a little extra in my messages, put something in that might inspire, or give an opening to an engaging reply. But like the OP, often replies as short and simple.
I understand some folks are like this, and not really comfortable typing, others need a little time to get used to someone and feel happy chatting. All of which is fine, and I will go along with. But into a second or third conversation struggling to inspire any response, I tend to wave the flag of defeat and bow out  |
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Is this not just totally normal behaviour for online dating and hooking up?
I don't give it a second thought. Some conversations take off and some don't. It's the nature of the medium to restrict the available bandwidth for connections and I take it as a given that everyone is chatting to multiple people. I certainly am.
If and when it doesn't work for me I find a different medium. |
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They’re either thick or lazy or both. They get a pass for the first “hi, how are you?” message but after that it’s no thank you or just block if they piss me off.
There’s the other extreme which is far too much message content and frequency - If we haven’t initiated a social get together or meet by the fourth or fifth message I let that connection fizzle out. I’m not in for the online life - it’s a tool to connect and arrange real life conversations and interaction. |
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"Do you find that a lot of your conversations tend to be one way traffic ? You tend to be putting in all the effort to keep the dialog going.
I don’t just mean conversations on fab but on any messaging platform and I’m specifically talking about pre meet convo’s.
Also just not chats started by you but also instigated by the other party.
If so at what point do you think this just isn’t working for me ?"
Women don't have time for conversation here, too many messages. |
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By *a LunaWoman 25 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
Chat is a two way street, but I for one struggle with small talk with folk I don’t actually know.
I’m also not very good at asking questions, not from a lack of interest, but I over think the question in my head and then decide it’s a stupid/boring thing to ask, so don’t.
So whilst some conversations can be hard work because that person isn’t interested, sometimes it’s just because you have a plonker like me with rubbish social skills! |
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"At the 2nd or 3rd message, you already know from their one word responses so just drop it. "
This to be honest. Though also keep in mind sometimes people are simply distracted, I've had poor convo starts come back around and I generally enjoy deep convo with those people now.
I don't understand the point in responding if they aren't interested... Unless it's just a way for them to reject you without rejecting you, and having you walk away from the interaction. |
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First of all I am always mindful that people have a life outside of Fab and there's always an ebb and flow to any healthy two-way messaging.
Fortunately most of my conversations on here (primarily) and elsewhere are productive and enthusing. That's probably because I discern quite easily and early on if the dialogue is going to stall or become non-reciprocal. When that happens I tend to graciously cease the chat and move on.
Nearly all of my chats outside of the fora are instigated by the other person and, assuming they have read my profile AND noticed my 'disclaimer' titled as "My Limits", will know that I won't be taking prisoners for any 'unenthusiastic' chats. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 25 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
I've found it's not often the questions but understanding conversations. Got on great with a person but they like insta fucks and that's not me once they kept saying they'd get a hotel room I again said I'm not interested they got upset that they "wasted" 2 days chatting.
Some people simply type their lies to get what they want and nothing else nor the person matter. It's a game of odds for them, and it's just a means of catching a bite from their bait.
Stay true to your own integrity and don't let those with less bring you to their level. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 25 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"Do you find that a lot of your conversations tend to be one way traffic ? You tend to be putting in all the effort to keep the dialog going.
I don’t just mean conversations on fab but on any messaging platform and I’m specifically talking about pre meet convo’s.
Also just not chats started by you but also instigated by the other party.
If so at what point do you think this just isn’t working for me ?Women don't have time for conversation here, too many messages."
There's always time when the person messaging is compatible. Most guys think ever message requires a response regardless of interests or comparability. |
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I think the style of the communication initially gives a good indication of whether or not the conversation will be a good one and I want to carry on.
Sometimes the conversation goes on too long before a meet and I lose interest though.
Or sometimes that initial bright spark peters out to nothing.
So sometimes it is me that stops responding or stops giving in a conversation. But sometimes I'm feeling stressed out by life. It can be hard to say for sure whether I'm just not into you or if I'm not saying more because of life! |
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Women generally chat to more than one guy they keep their options open ,so they have several conversations on the go ,so they don't have time for conversation perse and if they do have time for conversation they are into you so pick up on that ,don't talk about sex until after you meet unless she instigates it . |
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Absolutely mind blowing how some people get meets on here with their lack of conversation.
I wonder why people reply with only 2/3 words as there is no point.
If you can’t converse properly then continuing the back and forth is like pulling teeth.
The art of conversation is a rarity on FAB for sure…
K |
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By *lan157Man 25 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I treat women as equals. I expect the same in return.Realistically however a woman maybe talking to several people as well as myself. I make allowance for that but if I sense that it's just not going anywhere ( and you can easily tell ) then I will end it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I just leave it now and don't bother sending multiple messages. They will either reply in their own time, or not at all. Either way, I'm done chasing in all aspects of life, really.
So long as it's easy, I'm happy to put in the effort. If it's not, I take a step back. |
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"Absolutely mind blowing how some people get meets on here with their lack of conversation.
I wonder why people reply with only 2/3 words as there is no point.
If you can’t converse properly then continuing the back and forth is like pulling teeth.
The art of conversation is a rarity on FAB for sure…
K"
agreed  |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I match the other persons energy. If they are giving me nothing, I don’t go out my way to make conversation with them. I would rather spend my time chatting to someone who is at least a little bit interested. |
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I think people need to be more open with their response and people need to be more accepting of it
Faux politeness becomes tiresome very easily
From the outset, I will tell people I am not really a chatter by message - get me in a room though and I will chat away for hours
I also tell people I'm not in the mood to chat - that's often not down to them. I genuinely can't be arsed after a day at work
If someone piques my interest by pics alone, I will put it across that a delay in response doesn't mean I'm not interested, it means I don't have the time or headspace there and then
I'd prefer that to someone giving 'lol' or the like answers because really they want you to leave them alone |
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I do admit - most conversations on here, even Fab friends, tend to be oneway for me.
If I don't start a conversation then we probably wouldn't talk.
Some friends don't even pick up messages. Fair enough - it's their choice.
.
I do like to chat through. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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Thanks for the feedback to my thread all.
It’s been a good read.
I will definitely be taking heed of a lot of advice and curtailing various conversations earlier in future. |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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"Thanks for the feedback to my thread all.
It’s been a good read.
I will definitely be taking heed of a lot of advice and curtailing various conversations earlier in future. "
Matching their responsive energy is probably the best thing to do.
I tend to give a decent amount of conversational text at the start and see how their first response is. If it's just one word or barely touches anything said, then it's fairly unlikely to get anything substantial in return during future conversations.
Even then, I've had some good, solid chats and *poof* nothing ever again. The reason is irrelevant, what matters is the effort expended on your behalf to reach that point, only for it to be all for nothing.
You often see comments about how flaky some (or most?) people are these days and it's definitely a thing, everywhere you go. It's why I barely use the sites/apps now.
Taking a stance of not giving a shit quite so much is also very handy. Shrugging off the battle damage and just cracking on makes all the difference. 😆 |
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