FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sexless marriage
Sexless marriage
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *myLou999 OP Woman 27 weeks ago
Walton le Dale |
How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
yes me to no sex here for years |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You can count me in! It's been nearly 4 years but I've stopped counting,seperat rooms too ! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
What’s the point ! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
Shame your profile is private |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What’s the point !"
Of your post? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Being in a sexless marriage |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
I was, it sucked balls and I’m glad it ended |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage?
I was, it sucked balls and I’m glad it ended"
Actually there wasn’t any ball-sucking… no sexual intimacy at all |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Count me in! Sadly |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat "
yes discussed and been told that there's not mojo ! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat "
Don't be silly....its not cheating if their relationship is good in every other way or they still love/respect their partner  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *enk15Man 27 weeks ago
Evesham |
"What’s the point !"
Because there is more to a relationship/marriage than sex 🤷♂️
Some people go off/don't want/can't have sex for many reasons.
If my partner turned around and said she doesn't want to have sex anymore, I'd still want to spend the rest of my life with them... I'll just get my sex from other people. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
it looks like its all men the ladies must be getting it else where ? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I was in a sexless relationship, separate rooms too & in the end I had to call it a day, it was very sad though.
Out of interest, are there ladies on here that aren't getting any at home? Genuinely interested to see if it's a similar amount as it seems to be mostly guys in that situation.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yep not getting any from the wife here to x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *vaRoseWoman 27 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
Me 🙋🏻♀️
"what’s the point"
There’s more to marriage than physical sex. There are other ways to be intimate together. Perhaps your view is that I should just leave my best friend, best companion and biggest ally just because he’s poorly? Get fucked.
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat "
I’m here with my husbands full blessing, consent and knowledge. We’ve never had a closed relationship.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"What’s the point !
Because there is more to a relationship/marriage than sex 🤷♂️
Some people go off/don't want/can't have sex for many reasons.
If my partner turned around and said she doesn't want to have sex anymore, I'd still want to spend the rest of my life with them... I'll just get my sex from other people."
This!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage?
Me 🙋🏻♀️
what’s the point
There’s more to marriage than physical sex. There are other ways to be intimate together. Perhaps your view is that I should just leave my best friend, best companion and biggest ally just because he’s poorly? Get fucked.
More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
I’m here with my husbands full blessing, consent and knowledge. We’ve never had a closed relationship.
"
Fair play to the both of you above with permission x.  .
Makes a change from some who play the victim
****steps back and awaits the abuse 😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
Don't be silly....its not cheating if their relationship is good in every other way or they still love/respect their partner "
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *myLou999 OP Woman 27 weeks ago
Walton le Dale |
"You can count me in! It's been nearly 4 years but I've stopped counting,seperat rooms too ! "
12 years here!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *myLou999 OP Woman 27 weeks ago
Walton le Dale |
12 years here, can't discuss with him as it'll end up with a very messy argument. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I was and then the sexlessness just carried on for years from there. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Not any more as I exited it, now I'm a (mostly) sexless single  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I honestly believe that being sexless us the norm . Whether single or married. You get a few couples who are active but those are 8n the minority. Also , being on fab distorts reality . |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I honestly believe that being sexless us the norm . Whether single or married. You get a few couples who are active but those are 8n the minority. Also , being on fab distorts reality ."
I think thats age related as well, once over 40, mental/physical health starts deteriorating. There are a ton of sexless with consent marriage/partnership on here, but they are far outweighed by the ones who dishonestly use people, to enable their cheating  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My wife announced quite a few years ago that ‘we’re too old for sex’. I’m 83, she’s 74. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My wife announced quite a few years ago that ‘we’re too old for sex’. I’m 83, she’s 74. "
Did she also say "but you feel free to join a swingers site and fuck whoever you want"? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *enelope2UWoman 27 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
Was and then I left him....5 years single and well...
Guess it's a Scottish thing |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Not sex less just not as much as I would like.
We also sleep in different bed rooms as we sleep diferant times and habits. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I think everyone should read the comments on this page and not be to quick to judge !! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I was in a sexless marriage for a number of years. We are separated now no blame just life kids work perimenopause all got in the way. We are better friends now than we were when we were together. It’s funny how life works out |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *myLou999 OP Woman 27 weeks ago
Walton le Dale |
"I honestly believe that being sexless us the norm . Whether single or married. You get a few couples who are active but those are 8n the minority. Also , being on fab distorts reality .
I think thats age related as well, once over 40, mental/physical health starts deteriorating. There are a ton of sexless with consent marriage/partnership on here, but they are far outweighed by the ones who dishonestly use people, to enable their cheating "
Guess that's me then, my profile is upfront and clearly states I'm in a sexless marriage. So I'm a cheater without consent. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I honestly believe that being sexless us the norm . Whether single or married. You get a few couples who are active but those are 8n the minority. Also , being on fab distorts reality .
I think thats age related as well, once over 40, mental/physical health starts deteriorating. There are a ton of sexless with consent marriage/partnership on here, but they are far outweighed by the ones who dishonestly use people, to enable their cheating
Guess that's me then, my profile is upfront and clearly states I'm in a sexless marriage. So I'm a cheater without consent."
Nobody knows your circumstances but yourself, OP. Let people think whatever they like. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I have been married now for 35 years but since het illnesses, depression anxiety, menopause, 15 or so yeats have been sexless i never ever put any blame on her and we have talked about it but it does get frustrating sometimes. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *gf301Man 27 weeks ago
canterbury |
Yep... Been a few years now... Illnesses, menopause, and I guess the stresses and strains of modern life... We've discussed the reasons, and I'm permanently hopeful that something might come back. Maybe I'm delusional... I don't come here to physically meet, just chat (when someone is willing to connect), so I don't think I'm cheating... But maybe your opinion is different... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Why not leave it if you are unhappy?? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Yep, I am |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Me too. Relationship is amazing in every other way but no sex. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
15 years sexless marriage with the ex . Sad |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ammtMan 27 weeks ago
Newcastle under lyme |
Yeah very much so can’t remember the last time it’s been that long |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Everyone has different desires
And in our case
Katie needed more sex
And perhaps to some people’s dismay
She cheated on me
But we worked through it
And are still together
And I’ve had the pleasure of sharing her and watching her be the slutty lady she was before we met
N |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
Sexless can probably be managed lack of intimacy is a bigger problem.
Speaking from experience. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I was in a pretty much sexless/ intimacy less relationship for years. Been separated almost 12 months now.
I've got some catching up to do now 😀 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage?
Sexless can probably be managed lack of intimacy is a bigger problem.
Speaking from experience."
That's so true.
I was in a sexless marriage too, but I was the one who didn't want sex for reasons I won't go into. I told my ex-husband he had my blessing to find sex elsewhere since I knew he was unhappy and seeing that caused me pain, but he refused. There was always love, but ultimately, that wasn’t enough. Over time, the lack of sex led to a lack of all intimacy because every touch started feeling like pressure for it to lead to sex, and when I said no, it often ended in sulking or arguments. After two years of no sex at all, we agreed to separate then divorce. It was really hard. Unentangling lives is complicated and difficult, especially when there are children, but we're both much happier for it now.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ornycougaWoman 27 weeks ago
WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT |
I was. Till I realised that life was too frickin short to live without sex and intimacy with someone who I craved those things from |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Why stay????"
Love
Companionship
Shared history
Family stability
Maintaining a lifestyle you're used to
Hope for change
Fear of change
Fear of loneliness
Habit
Fear of conflict |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Why stay????
Love
Companionship
Shared history
Family stability
Maintaining a lifestyle you're used to
Hope for change
Fear of change
Fear of loneliness
Habit
Fear of conflict"
Agree with all of that. Would guess the children are major reason in a lot of cases, definitely was in mine. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Why stay????
Love
Companionship
Shared history
Family stability
Maintaining a lifestyle you're used to
Hope for change
Fear of change
Fear of loneliness
Habit
Fear of conflict
Agree with all of that. Would guess the children are major reason in a lot of cases, definitely was in mine. "
It might work for some families, but it wouldn't have worked for us. My ex remarried and the kids have grown up seeing what a mutually affectionate, respectful, and loving relationship looks like. They'd have not seen that had we stayed together. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Why stay????
Love
Companionship
Shared history
Family stability
Maintaining a lifestyle you're used to
Hope for change
Fear of change
Fear of loneliness
Habit
Fear of conflict
Agree with all of that. Would guess the children are major reason in a lot of cases, definitely was in mine.
It might work for some families, but it wouldn't have worked for us. My ex remarried and the kids have grown up seeing what a mutually affectionate, respectful, and loving relationship looks like. They'd have not seen that had we stayed together."
I agree with the above reasons and I left the family home as I no longer fancied or loved the wife and the home was not a happy one where I wanted my kids to grow up. I offered many options early on for us to e plots our sexual parameters but she didn’t want to explore. A few months after I left she had several men in a short space of time then found one to remarry once we had divorced. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Why stay????
Love
Companionship
Shared history
Family stability
Maintaining a lifestyle you're used to
Hope for change
Fear of change
Fear of loneliness
Habit
Fear of conflict
Agree with all of that. Would guess the children are major reason in a lot of cases, definitely was in mine.
It might work for some families, but it wouldn't have worked for us. My ex remarried and the kids have grown up seeing what a mutually affectionate, respectful, and loving relationship looks like. They'd have not seen that had we stayed together."
I agree with the above reasons and I left the family home as I no longer fancied or loved the wife and the home was not a happy one where I wanted my kids to grow up. I offered many options early on for us to e plots our sexual parameters but she didn’t want to explore. A few months after I left she had several men in a short space of time then found one to remarry once we had divorced. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I have a sexless marriage but it's a happy one, he's aware I'm on here, we have an ethical non monogamous relationship, he's more asexual so has very little to no interest, we love each other and have been together 24 years so far. Honest open communication and an open mind are the way forward in my opinion xx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have a sexless marriage but it's a happy one, he's aware I'm on here, we have an ethical non monogamous relationship, he's more asexual so has very little to no interest, we love each other and have been together 24 years so far. Honest open communication and an open mind are the way forward in my opinion xx"
Excellent way forwards.
I never understand why partners are here cheating, and not just talking to their own partners prior to looking elsewhere for sex.
Isn't total honesty and respect what we sign up for in a relationship?? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 08/02/25 07:01:48] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 08/02/25 07:01:57] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
And that's why we are on here x it was going that way x until we found a way of finding fun meeting others xxxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I joined here as I'm in a sexless marriage (but not loveless). I realised though that I was thinking with my dick rather than my brain, and that I don't want to meet behind my OH's back. Fortunately I hadn't met anyone at that point, although I was talking with someone with a view to arranging a meet. I need to find the right time to have a conversation, and if that leads to permission to play then I will amend my profile. As it is I'll stay on here in window shopping mode at least until my site supporter status ends.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
This! Many people don't understand it's all about communication and trusting each other. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"I honestly believe that being sexless us the norm . Whether single or married. You get a few couples who are active but those are 8n the minority. Also , being on fab distorts reality ."
I second that! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️ "
did you ever think that maybe the guy loves you that much he is willing to allow you to do whatever you want just to keep you in his life? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I was in a marriage with no intimacy or sex (his choice) It sapped all my confidence and made me miserable.
We are divorced now and I’m much happier…. Even if there’s still no intimacy and sex with anyone 😂 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yep, me too. Must be at least 10 years now... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
You made your decision based on personal circumstances
And you were correct in doing so
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Why stay????
Love
Companionship
Shared history
Family stability
Maintaining a lifestyle you're used to
Hope for change
Fear of change
Fear of loneliness
Habit
Fear of conflict"
Agree; all of the above. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️ did you ever think that maybe the guy loves you that much he is willing to allow you to do whatever you want just to keep you in his life? "
We love each other immensely. There is no sex (I am suspecting ED but he won’t discuss it) but there is lots of intimacy- touching, caressing, snuggling watching TV, etc.
The proof is in the pudding. I had a horrific accident 2 months ago in which genuinely I thought I was going to die. I was in hospital for 2 weeks and was completely immobile/dependant for 6. The way he cared for me, 24 hours a day, with such love and compassion… that surpasses whatever sex need there is. I’ll take love like this anytime over sex. ❤️🩹
Having said that, I don’t think I would cope if there weren’t any sort of physical touch/intimacy at all. That must be soul destroying and can see why people leave. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yes no sex at home it just doesn't happen anymore |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️ did you ever think that maybe the guy loves you that much he is willing to allow you to do whatever you want just to keep you in his life?
We love each other immensely. There is no sex (I am suspecting ED but he won’t discuss it) but there is lots of intimacy- touching, caressing, snuggling watching TV, etc.
The proof is in the pudding. I had a horrific accident 2 months ago in which genuinely I thought I was going to die. I was in hospital for 2 weeks and was completely immobile/dependant for 6. The way he cared for me, 24 hours a day, with such love and compassion… that surpasses whatever sex need there is. I’ll take love like this anytime over sex. ❤️🩹
Having said that, I don’t think I would cope if there weren’t any sort of physical touch/intimacy at all. That must be soul destroying and can see why people leave. "
I have the same deep love for my wife but when the sex stopped and my wife made it clear (from many candid discussions) that my life had to also be sexless, I started to resent here for it. Being on Fab allows me to have the intimacy / physical touch that I desire whilst not falling out of love with my wife (yes, I know it sounds messed up but it works). Of course I'd lose everything if I was to be found out but I'm not cavalier about being on here and I meet very few people. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
So why are you here OP Is your marriage not worth saving? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *gf301Man 27 weeks ago
canterbury |
"Some of us understand Amylou."
Indeed we do... But little did we realise that responding to amylou's simple and unambiguous question would be seen by some as a request for a moral judgement... If I wanted that I'd have signed up to fabcatholics.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Raises hand
Worst feeling in the world if one half of a relationship unilaterally decides that both parties will have no more sex! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Me.
After many years of good,regular sex, my wife lost interest when she went through the menopause, sadly |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My wife announced quite a few years ago that ‘we’re too old for sex’. I’m 83, she’s 74.
·
Did she also say "but you feel free to join a swingers site and fuck whoever you want"?"
•
Don't just stop there: I think you should also ask that (loaded) question to the women on this thread who have 'outed' themselves. 😘 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
To those who are on here without their partner's knowledge...
Is a relationship that lacks the emotional safety necessary for difficult conversations about how both of you can get your needs met worth saving?
I'm genuinely curious. No judgement. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Yep I'm in |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Raises hand
Worst feeling in the world if one half of a relationship unilaterally decides that both parties will have no more sex!"
I think it's selfish to be honest and one of the reason why I walked away from my relationship. There was no way at 50 I could live a sexless life and did not want to cheat. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *rpeggioCouple 27 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"My wife announced quite a few years ago that ‘we’re too old for sex’. I’m 83, she’s 74.
Did she also say "but you feel free to join a swingers site and fuck whoever you want"?"
__
Just trying to prove her wrong |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Sexless marriage for me as well |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I suppose we are somewhat different.
My partner & I love each other dearly, and we both enjoy clubs etc.
My sexual orientation has rotated since we first met, I was always bisexual but nowadays I'm more gay than straight.
We don't have penetrative sex anymore but that's part of our dynamic.
I'm caged & happy with that as I get my pleasure from being fucked.
My partner is free to meet whoever as am I, as long as each knows.
It works for us. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Me pretty much other than once in a blue moon, would love too breed help people out with their issue tho  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *JoshMan 27 weeks ago
Cambridge |
Another one in that situation. In our case there’s an element of depression form my partner so not completely sexless but for the most part it is.
When I joined fab I thought I’d find people in the same situation quite easily but seems I was wrong |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My wife announced quite a few years ago that ‘we’re too old for sex’. I’m 83, she’s 74. "
83 & still can get it up 😮 I’ve seen other threads where men younger than you struggle to get an erection
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"I honestly believe that being sexless us the norm . Whether single or married. You get a few couples who are active but those are 8n the minority. Also , being on fab distorts reality .
I think thats age related as well, once over 40, mental/physical health starts deteriorating. There are a ton of sexless with consent marriage/partnership on here, but they are far outweighed by the ones who dishonestly use people, to enable their cheating
Guess that's me then, my profile is upfront and clearly states I'm in a sexless marriage. So I'm a cheater without consent.
Nobody knows your circumstances but yourself, OP. Let people think whatever they like. "
Indeed nobody knows people’s circumstances etc so don’t immediately judge without talking to them |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Sexless marriage for me as well "
Sad times, but you must make yourself and as long as it works in your relationship then no harm done |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Raises hand
Worst feeling in the world if one half of a relationship unilaterally decides that both parties will have no more sex!
I think it's selfish to be honest and one of the reason why I walked away from my relationship. There was no way at 50 I could live a sexless life and did not want to cheat."
I must admit I left my wife for same reason - I couldn’t live in a sexless marriage so I called it and much happier now plus free to do what I like. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Raises hand
Worst feeling in the world if one half of a relationship unilaterally decides that both parties will have no more sex!
I think it's selfish to be honest and one of the reason why I walked away from my relationship. There was no way at 50 I could live a sexless life and did not want to cheat.
I must admit I left my wife for same reason - I couldn’t live in a sexless marriage so I called it and much happier now plus free to do what I like. "
I am much happier now too. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Was originally here (with permission) due to sexless relationship due to her medical issues, that was a while ago now though and been single since late 2021 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Very fair point actually. If the love is still there but the sexual activity has died down but they have an open relationship then that's still cool |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Raises hand
Worst feeling in the world if one half of a relationship unilaterally decides that both parties will have no more sex!
I think it's selfish to be honest and one of the reason why I walked away from my relationship. There was no way at 50 I could live a sexless life and did not want to cheat.
I must admit I left my wife for same reason - I couldn’t live in a sexless marriage so I called it and much happier now plus free to do what I like.
I am much happier now too."
That’s good, life to be enjoyed!! Shame I can’t message you! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Yes, and it had been for some years before I ‘became Lucy’ and started ‘living as a woman’ as the government terminology has it.
My wife encouraged me in this and also to go out and enjoy myself ‘as a woman’ and have sex with men. She knows that I am on here but doesn’t want to see the website and usually doesn’t want to know the details of what I do sexually, although she does sometimes call me ‘a cock sucking slut’ and knows that I love giving men oral sex and being fucked by men.
We live together as if we were two women friends with separate bedrooms but we agreed that I wouldn’t bring men home for sex. We are actually happier together than we were before but there is also a complex and sad background to our situation.
I would like it if my wife wanted to have sex with men or women but she hasn’t had any real interest in sex for many years.
Sometimes she seems to get some surrogate pleasure from me having sex with men.
I hope to get physically emasculated and feminised when I can but I will only be able to have a vulvoplasty.
I can’t see either of us ever wanting to separate. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Do you think, on average, it’s women that stop the sex in a marriage more than men? I might be wrong but I guess it is? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
Discussed and ignored. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Ours has only gone up as we’ve got older 🤷🏻♂️ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Do you think, on average, it’s women that stop the sex in a marriage more than men? I might be wrong but I guess it is? "
It varies a lot on the individual. I know many married women who are completely averse to sexual contact from their spouses- they’ve just gone off it. Something they have told me they hate is that there can’t be any hint of affection towards their partner as they will always see it as a way to try and get sex and that puts them off even more so they withdraw sex and affection altogether. It’s never been my case- the affection I get/offer is quite sweet and -innocent, for lack of a better word. I’ve never felt accosted.
My sex drive was always higher than my husband’s. I think right now we are levelling up, which is making life easier in all honesty. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A colleague told me that you spend the first year of marriage putting notches in the bedpost, then the rest of your life trying to cross them off. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yes sexless here too
Wifes decision as I would still love to make love
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
We’ve had sex all day, dildos, aromas, porn, role plays, dressing up. Mr did the shopping in a pink Victoria’s Secret metallic thong and matching butt plug. I’ve only just showered and poured the wine we are utterly in love and a bit kinky. Keeps us young xx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I was in a marriage devoid of sex and intimacy of any kind. It broke me. So I ended it and now I’m slowly putting myself back together again and reclaiming the person I used to be. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Sadly in a sexless marriage, we are functional but there is no intimacy and no excitement anymore, spontaneity is gone ! I've found myself here, and also have fun with a lady at work which is so so good just worry there may become a connection there beyond sex as sexually we click amazingly well !! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat "
Easier for many to just cheat rather than have an adult conversation, yes some cases could make things worse but could also make things better if people communicated |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
Easier for many to just cheat rather than have an adult conversation, yes some cases could make things worse but could also make things better if people communicated "
We have tried counselling and lots and lots of talking but just not on the same page anymore |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I was, for a long time. Now single and loving it.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
Easier for many to just cheat rather than have an adult conversation, yes some cases could make things worse but could also make things better if people communicated "
However, if one party no longer wants to have sex and cannot understand why they should have to, I don't see how an adult conversation will help. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
I wonder how many men (or women) on here who say that their wives (or husbands) don’t know what they do or wouldn’t tolerate it actually have spouses who either know or at least suspect what they get up but prefer to turn a blind eye to it as they prefer it like that, or don’t want to separate or divorce either? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I wonder how many men (or women) on here who say that their wives (or husbands) don’t know what they do or wouldn’t tolerate it actually have spouses who either know or at least suspect what they get up but prefer to turn a blind eye to it as they prefer it like that, or don’t want to separate or divorce either?"
Quite a few I would imagine. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Is it fair if one party has gone of sex, to not want their partner to have sex with anyone else? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
Easier for many to just cheat rather than have an adult conversation, yes some cases could make things worse but could also make things better if people communicated "
None of us know what goes on behind closed doors.
Most people are just trying to do their best |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We’ve had sex all day, dildos, aromas, porn, role plays, dressing up. Mr did the shopping in a pink Victoria’s Secret metallic thong and matching butt plug. I’ve only just showered and poured the wine we are utterly in love and a bit kinky. Keeps us young xx "
I don't think that was the OP's question! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We’ve had sex all day, dildos, aromas, porn, role plays, dressing up. Mr did the shopping in a pink Victoria’s Secret metallic thong and matching butt plug. I’ve only just showered and poured the wine we are utterly in love and a bit kinky. Keeps us young xx
I don't think that was the OP's question!"
We’ve been together 5 years and we’re in boring relationships so we got out and starters afresh apologies for any offence xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
Easier for many to just cheat rather than have an adult conversation, yes some cases could make things worse but could also make things better if people communicated
None of us know what goes on behind closed doors.
Most people are just trying to do their best"
Couldn’t agree more. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"Is it fair if one party has gone of sex, to not want their partner to have sex with anyone else?"
I don't think so, which is why I put the suggestion to my ex husband that he seek sex elsewhere. He refused, and I think he was quite hurt about it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I am, get it about once a month if I am lucky and sometimes go for 3 or 4 months without her showing any interest in me at all. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Pity shag . Ever think of going bi ..? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Sexless marriage for me as well "
I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I was in a marriage devoid of sex and intimacy of any kind. It broke me. So I ended it and now I’m slowly putting myself back together again and reclaiming the person I used to be. "
good on you girl |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I was in a sexless relationship, separate rooms too & in the end I had to call it a day, it was very sad though.
Out of interest, are there ladies on here that aren't getting any at home? Genuinely interested to see if it's a similar amount as it seems to be mostly guys in that situation.
"
I am not in a sexless marriage, but my husband definitely has a far lower sex drive than me.
I have tried to discuss the situation, but he just claims up and won't talk.
Our marriage in all other ways is a very happy one.
I have cheated on him before - something I'm definitely not proud of.
Fab has kind of been my saving grace. I can cam and perv, express my intimate desires and fantasies. Most people are the other side of the world to me, so I can't be tempted to meet.
I will just keep working on the sexual side of my relationship with my husband and hope that will be enough. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
My husband is! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
|
"More to the point how many have actually tried to discuss their needs with their partner.. or is it easier to just cheat
Easier for many to just cheat rather than have an adult conversation, yes some cases could make things worse but could also make things better if people communicated "
It might possibly improve things, or it could mean facing up to the end of the relationship. That's terrifying, and usually takes many years of being dissatisfied or even miserable before being able to do that. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
Im almost 60 and my wife is 59.
But what ive read shocked me, how many couples sleep in seperate rooms and beds. Been married for 35 years and we still have sex once a month if not more. I put this down to cuddles and kisses when in bed. Giving compliments on how good she looks. Bed times are the one place, for being close and ending with sex. So why sleep apart. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Im almost 60 and my wife is 59.
But what ive read shocked me, how many couples sleep in seperate rooms and beds. Been married for 35 years and we still have sex once a month if not more. I put this down to cuddles and kisses when in bed. Giving compliments on how good she looks. Bed times are the one place, for being close and ending with sex. So why sleep apart. "
My partner and I have had separate bedrooms for years and it hasn't affected our intimacy at all, I love it! There are a lot of reasons why some couples choose to sleep separately, including medical, and it doesn't have to equal the death of a sex life. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I didn't exactly speak to my wife at the weekend about it, but I did just pay her some attention, and kissing and touching and it's lead to the resumption of sexual play. Just need to keep it up now as it were, although typically I've gone down with the lurgy so it won't be for a while. Maybe in some of these cases both parties think the other half isn't interested anymore.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
"Im almost 60 and my wife is 59.
But what ive read shocked me, how many couples sleep in seperate rooms and beds. Been married for 35 years and we still have sex once a month if not more. I put this down to cuddles and kisses when in bed. Giving compliments on how good she looks. Bed times are the one place, for being close and ending with sex. So why sleep apart.
My partner and I have had separate bedrooms for years and it hasn't affected our intimacy at all, I love it! There are a lot of reasons why some couples choose to sleep separately, including medical, and it doesn't have to equal the death of a sex life. "
Thats fine and im pleased you both are happy. But a lot on here are saying that they are in a sexless marriage that ended up sleeping in different beds. They are the ones im refuring to |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Iv been in a sexless marriage for years now. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Not in a sex less marriage but is vanilla I have tried to get her into the lifestyle but no her thing
So like so many others I’m here to have fun when that sexual tension gets the better off me
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
I'm in a relationship, we are more like friends now, I love her, but I'm not "in love" with her. She told me about 6 months ago that she is happy with how things are and that she is past the stage of cuddles and kissing and that side of things,which is why I'm here. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
An interesting and thought provoking thread. My marriage isn't entirely sexless (although it has been for the past couple of months) but I feel that whenever we do have sex it's just something off her 'to do' list. She's admitted in the past that she has little interest but does enjoy it once she gets involved. However what upsets me more I'd the lack of intimacy, she's never been one for kissing and cuddling, I just wish she'd want to be close to me more. We've stuck it out for 27 years and although I've been unhappy for a lot of those I agree with the list above as to why people don't divorce.
A few years ago we had a long discussion and she said she'd be happy for me to be on here. At one stage I was planning a meet up in Brighton with a couple and she said she'd come down and the two of us could have a meal afterwards! The meet never happened so I'll never find out her reaction. I've not actually met anyone from here and it would feel odd if I did. I don't want to be 'unfaithful' but equally don't want to turn down sex if she's really not bothered (she may actually be pleased because it takes pressure off her!). For me ideally a couple to become 'friends' with but until that happens I'm happy to chat on here with like minded people. X |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Not in a sex less marriage but is vanilla I have tried to get her into the lifestyle but no her thing
So like so many others I’m here to have fun when that sexual tension gets the better off me
"
Why is vanilla sex with your wife not enough to satisfy you? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *oelMan 26 weeks ago
Midlands, London, Brussels |
I think it's incredibly common, check out for horror stories
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yes due to menopause she's totally disinterested in it not had more then a hand job off her for over a year
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *pandjMan 26 weeks ago
Sparkford |
I was from the age of 28 to 36 where we had sex a grad total of 8 times. Id get turned down all the time so stopped bothering but she'd instigate things twice in a row every two years.
I stayed around as we had kids and at one point justified staying as she wouldn't walk the dog as much as I did.
Finally had enough and left 5 years ago and had a period where I made up for lost time. See my kids a lot less but I get on with my ex really well still.
Surprising how it fucked with me mentally and still have issues about instigating sex or fear of rejection. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I am in a sex less marriage i am a older man but she just not interested she has said go and find it else where |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have a sexless marriage but it's a happy one, he's aware I'm on here, we have an ethical non monogamous relationship, he's more asexual so has very little to no interest, we love each other and have been together 24 years so far. Honest open communication and an open mind are the way forward in my opinion xx
Excellent way forwards.
I never understand why partners are here cheating, and not just talking to their own partners prior to looking elsewhere for sex.
Isn't total honesty and respect what we sign up for in a relationship??"
It is for me for sure, |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Yip I fall into this category .. just not happening at home and not for a good time now .. sex life been poor probably the last 10yrs but now it just doesn't happen |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
in sexless marriage but met lady iff fab--love to chat to guys in similar situation |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ori69Man 26 weeks ago
Castlewellan |
In a sexless marriage thats why I'm here.
Happy to chat. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️ "
It will be interesting to see this same scenario reversed. The man allowed to have lovers and sex when the wife can’t or doesn’t want to.
I am not being a misogynist, I am just honestly curious. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️
It will be interesting to see this same scenario reversed. The man allowed to have lovers and sex when the wife can’t or doesn’t want to.
I am not being a misogynist, I am just honestly curious. "
It does happen. I met one of my best friends due to this sort of arrangement. She couldn't have sex for various reasons, but didn't see why her fiancé shouldn't still have sex. I met him through fab, then I met her through him. They're no longer together, but she and I are close friends 10 years on.
I also told my ex husband he could seek sex with others when I was unable to fulfill that side of our relationship, but he didn't want to. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Just pulling out of a relationship that's been dry for 5 years had enough frustration for a lifetime. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 11/02/25 21:27:12] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Our conversation about sex went like this
Her, "that's not going in there"
The end. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *istr3ssWoman 26 weeks ago
Stockton-on-Tees |
I was, sexless for 10 years out of a 20 year marriage. I eventually left and divorced him |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *istr3ssWoman 26 weeks ago
Stockton-on-Tees |
"10 years?
Blimey ...."
Yep, I got good at entertaining myself |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
"10 years?
Blimey ....
Yep, I got good at entertaining myself "
Well we all get good at that |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️
It will be interesting to see this same scenario reversed. The man allowed to have lovers and sex when the wife can’t or doesn’t want to.
I am not being a misogynist, I am just honestly curious. "
I have never *not* been interested in sex. Quite the opposite!
And my husband is the least jealous, most confident and secure man I know. He knows I will always come back home to him. He never asks me for any details and I don’t give them either. He has very high functioning Asperger’s and he has never been that interested in sex, to be fair.
What other people do or think about “what would happen if the tables were turned” is of no concern to me as I don’t have that situation going on. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Me. We are 7 years married and for 2024 we had sex just 6 time she is not up for this. I'm very active and I have her permission  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I was in a sexless marriage, went 2 years until we had sex frequently, then we had sex pretty much every other day in an attempt to get pregnant. It felt perfunctory and it was the end of my marriage really. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
"How many are on here that are in a sexless marriage? "
Here M’am |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I wouldn't say totally sexless but it's a rarity, I would say mrs & I get it twice a year, I have a lady friend who's husband isn't doing it for her so we.. you know, help each other out occasionally |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Am in this to no sex life in 10 years |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
Sme here ,nothing for years here , Porn and a good wank helps . |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *aveonMan 26 weeks ago
Dartford |
Same here - nothing in years and guess maybe three or four times over the last ten !
My sex drive is off the scale - but too many other good reasons to not walk away |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *usie pTV/TS 26 weeks ago
taunton |
Its a fairly normal situation, suck it up guys or get out. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *vaRoseWoman 26 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"Lol.
I am a man apparently 🥸🥸🥸
Sexless does not mean cheating. In mine he knows, he even met a FWB of mine yesterday as he picked me up for a much-needed coffee. I am allowed freedom and… sex. It wasn’t overnight though and if took time to get here.
And as someone said, a marriage is so, so much more than sex. So much more. I have been shown so much more love and devotion in this last 2 months and I am grateful for that. ❤️
It will be interesting to see this same scenario reversed. The man allowed to have lovers and sex when the wife can’t or doesn’t want to.
I am not being a misogynist, I am just honestly curious. "
I can also answer this one. I had a very serious illness which meant for a long time I couldn’t have sex. My husband did as he always had, he saw his girlfriends. So yes, through illness we’ve had both sides of the coin and we are still happily married. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
Does your husband know you’re on here? 🥴🥴
Find shame |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
He's my husband. ⬆️ The rotter. The scoundrel! The lothario! 💢 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Sometimes people just become very comfortable,familiar or even just good friends,and what was lust for many years turns to dust ....
That shouldn't mean the end of a situation if people still enjoy each others company etc and work well as a sexless team.For some it may even be the fear of the unknown if they finish..
A purely sex based relationship is doomed from the start as it's a small part of what makes it work...
If couples have an honest talk to agree to find sex elsewhere without reprisals that's a bonus,but likely rare ...
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
"Am in this to no sex life in 10 years "
Damnnnnn |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It’s a shame a lot are in those no sex relationships.
Do they offer intimacy or just safety with having a house and helping with bills?
Maybdd we try to bring sex back or find someone who can offer some intimacy |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
"Me. We are 7 years married and for 2024 we had sex just 6 time she is not up for this. I'm very active and I have her permission "
Fair enough, but your profile says that you are single? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I was in a sexless relationship, separate rooms too & in the end I had to call it a day, it was very sad though.
Out of interest, are there ladies on here that aren't getting any at home? Genuinely interested to see if it's a similar amount as it seems to be mostly guys in that situation.
No sex here, he's not interested, nor will he discuss if the subject is brought up....
"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Not in a sex less marriage but is vanilla I have tried to get her into the lifestyle but no her thing
So like so many others I’m here to have fun when that sexual tension gets the better off me
Why is vanilla sex with your wife not enough to satisfy you?"
as we all have our kinks I was in the lifestyle some before we meet and enjoy the way people are and the freedom that goes with it x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
|
Divorce babe divorce |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
