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Just the facts ma’am
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"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!! "
Now now, we all know the cats of the world would have pushed everything off the edge by now 🤣🤣 |
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"Women have a secret bladder that holds squirting liquid.
But not all women. Or maybe my secret bladderful hasn't been released yet. It must be fetid after all these years. "
If you need a “hand” finding it I’m particularly skilled in that area! 😉 |
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"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!
Now now, we all know the cats of the world would have pushed everything off the edge by now 🤣🤣"
No, we thought of this one, the earths rim is lined with cucumbers, and cats are terrified by cucumbers, another well know fact!
If you don’t believe me just google cats Vs cucumbers… cute and hilarious! |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans
There must be less.
What about people with mastectomies ?"
But there are also people with nubbins |
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By *elloWoman 21 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"
Musicals and plays are the same
What are your thoughts on opera ?"
I've only seen don Giovanni, it was a modern adaptation but the original songs, a fabulous operatic musical play  |
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By *ohn 66Man 21 weeks ago
South Birmingham |
"A particularly relevant one for fab…
A group of unicorns is called a blessing…. Now that really is a fact, literally and figuratively 😁"
The collective noun for a group of bankers is a 'wunch' |
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"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!
I'm sure on there Web paige it used to say that "
Actually that wouldn’t surprise me 🤦🏻♂️ |
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"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!
I'm sure on there Web paige it used to say that "
I've seen this mentioned on QI I think it is true  |
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"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating
Upside down force "
How does it drive upside down without wheels ? Is it like a hovercraft or a toboggan ? |
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"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating
Upside down force
How does it drive upside down without wheels ? Is it like a hovercraft or a toboggan ?"
The wheels would be on the ceiling ! 🥪 |
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"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating
Upside down force "
When upside down the the whole car acts like an aeroplane and therefore creates lift, this is the force acting on it. So the car would have to be travelling upside down on the roof of a tunnel.
Only works in a tunnel when the car is upside down travelling along the roof of a tunnel |
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"
The wheels would be on the ceiling ! 🥪
Is the Formula 1 car being driven over 90mph indoors ?"
It's theoretical! He's just saying due to the down force the car produces it could stick to the ceiling at that speed 🥪 |
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"Gravy is a soup.
Is custard ?
Yes, custard is also a soup.
Not the way my mum makes it, you could cut it into slices - definitely a solid. "
Just be thankful it’s not a gas……. Oh no wait, that’s mustard 🤦🏻♂️ |
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In the original draft of IT Stephen King's villain wasn't an evil clown shape-shifter, it was a tech support helpdesk so unhelpful that the people who contacted it voluntarily offed themselves.
That's why it was called IT. |
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"In the original draft of IT Stephen King's villain wasn't an evil clown shape-shifter, it was a tech support helpdesk so unhelpful that the people who contacted it voluntarily offed themselves.
That's why it was called IT."
Ahhh that will explain my compulsion to turn it off and on again! |
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Chips were invented in 1834 by Joseph McCain. He was trying to shred the evidence of his secret trysts on Ye Olde Fab (all done on parchment with invisible ink) but accidentally chucked his lunchtime potato into the shredder. Hey presto! Chips. The first ones didn't have ketchup as the red sauce though  |
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"You can’t lick your elbow!
And you shouldn't lick strangers elbows on the train, I've been told by 2 police officers and a judge  "
What are you doing in the forums? Shouldn’t you be down the police station signing that register today? 😝 |
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Astronomer Sonny Day got into an argument with colleague Biff Wellington after Wellington replied to a question with "Your mum". Day got lasting revenge when he named newly discovered planet Uranus. |
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By *wertyjk01Man 21 weeks ago
NW London/Kent/Midlands |
Did you know that the concorde used so much fuel that 2 out it's 4 engines were not started until a couple of minutes before take off - this was also so they the plane could be idle as the thrust from all 4 engines even at idle would move it along. |
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"A particularly relevant one for fab…
A group of unicorns is called a blessing…. Now that really is a fact, literally and figuratively 😁"
And a bunch wearing moustaches and a hat is a blessing in disguise 🥸🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
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Bees, invented in Manchester in 1824, were developed to make pollination of crops more efficient to feed the rapidly growing population.
Before 1824, wasps were responsible for most crop pollination, but since they only really like cocacola and BBQ food, and have a famously laissez faire attitude to work results were haphazard. This was okay on small scale feudal farms but with the advent of intensive agriculture a different solution was required.
By combining the sweet tooth, fuzziness and insistence of the fruit fly with the food driven tenacity of the wasp, scientists created what we know as the bee.
To this day The University of Manchester still earn a royalty on every bee born, which is how they are able to build such magnificent buildings and why bees are everywhere you look in the city centre.
Wasps on the other hand, still salty about losing their jobs, continue t ok take their revenge by making life miserable for people during the summer months, but only when the weather is nice, and they can be arsed.
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By *ea monkey OP Man 21 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Bees, invented in Manchester in 1824, were developed to make pollination of crops more efficient to feed the rapidly growing population.
Before 1824, wasps were responsible for most crop pollination, but since they only really like cocacola and BBQ food, and have a famously laissez faire attitude to work results were haphazard. This was okay on small scale feudal farms but with the advent of intensive agriculture a different solution was required.
By combining the sweet tooth, fuzziness and insistence of the fruit fly with the food driven tenacity of the wasp, scientists created what we know as the bee.
To this day The University of Manchester still earn a royalty on every bee born, which is how they are able to build such magnificent buildings and why bees are everywhere you look in the city centre.
Wasps on the other hand, still salty about losing their jobs, continue t ok take their revenge by making life miserable for people during the summer months, but only when the weather is nice, and they can be arsed.
"
You learn something new everyday!
I’d be interested to know how they mated the fruit fly with the much larger wasp and how bumble bees were developed |
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Gloves were invented in 1784 by Sir Henry Glove, he was later knighted for services to hands. Gloves were originally made of weasel pelts but the sneaky little weasels proved difficult to catch, so stoat’s coats became the default glove material of choice. The inventor of the furry muff, Mervyn C. Muff, was most put out by the rise and rise of the glove.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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Veg oil and cooking oils was marketed and made from surplus engine oil from the war. The marketing was to tell ppl that natural fats like butter, beef dripping and lard was bad for you. But it isnt.there was no fat ppl in the 50s health was alot better than it is now. Liquid cooking oil.is a big player in obesity. It takes 5 yrs for the toxin to leave your body. Alzeimers is on the rise because your brain needs cholesterol to function. Liver makes cholesterol. So eat your good fats and leave the veg/seed oils on the shelf |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Don't talk to the NRA about gun control (and how their precious constitution can and has been amended): because those poor darlings are far too easily triggered.
They can't be schooled on this, even if you use bullet points. |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Veg oil and cooking oils was marketed and made from surplus engine oil from the war. The marketing was to tell ppl that natural fats like butter, beef dripping and lard was bad for you. But it isnt.there was no fat ppl in the 50s health was alot better than it is now. Liquid cooking oil.is a big player in obesity. It takes 5 yrs for the toxin to leave your body. Alzeimers is on the rise because your brain needs cholesterol to function. Liver makes cholesterol. So eat your good fats and leave the veg/seed oils on the shelf "
The fat shaming applies to oils too. The problem with faddy food science, is as bad as big pharma. These ideas come as a trend and end up ingrained into the national psyche. They overstay their welcome even after being debunked.
The alt milk makers seem to go quiet on those who have intolerances to nuts and oats.
The Mediterranean and Japanese diets have the best outcomes.
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"Bees, invented in Manchester in 1824, were developed to make pollination of crops more efficient to feed the rapidly growing population.
Before 1824, wasps were responsible for most crop pollination, but since they only really like cocacola and BBQ food, and have a famously laissez faire attitude to work results were haphazard. This was okay on small scale feudal farms but with the advent of intensive agriculture a different solution was required.
By combining the sweet tooth, fuzziness and insistence of the fruit fly with the food driven tenacity of the wasp, scientists created what we know as the bee.
To this day The University of Manchester still earn a royalty on every bee born, which is how they are able to build such magnificent buildings and why bees are everywhere you look in the city centre.
Wasps on the other hand, still salty about losing their jobs, continue t ok take their revenge by making life miserable for people during the summer months, but only when the weather is nice, and they can be arsed.
You learn something new everyday!
I’d be interested to know how they mated the fruit fly with the much larger wasp and how bumble bees were developed "
Well... Fly sex isn't like you or I would have sex, or even how other people would. It's more like fly bukake 😏. So you just need to surround a female wasp with several horny male fruit flies and Bob's your proverbial uncle.
Bumble bees are wasps crossed with the fruit fly's dumber, lazier cousin, the big ole bluebottle. You notice how similarly they boink off the window when they are trapped inside the house. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 21 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
If all 8 billion people on the planet pee'd into the grand canyon at once, it would take over 800,000 years to fill it and they'd have to be doing it constantly, based on the estimated volume of the space to fill being 1.2 quadrillion gallons and the average person peeing half a gallon a day.
The things you learn daily on Facey. 🤷♂️
*and yes, there was a terrible cartoon graphic involved......🤦♂️🤦♂️ |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Jaffa cakes are a biscuit🤷♂️
Clue's in the name "
Nope
Crush olives get olive oil
Crush peanuts get peanut oil
Crush sunflower seeds get sunflower oil
Crush linseed to get linseed oil
Crush Flax to get flaxseed oil
So what exactly do you need to crush, in order to make baby oil?
Nope! Not that! |
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"
Musicals and plays are the same
What are your thoughts on opera ?
I've only seen don Giovanni, it was a modern adaptation but the original songs, a fabulous operatic musical play "
There is recitative in Don Giovanni, so it has music, songs and spoken/sung dialogue. It is also rather good. |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"There is more chocolate in space than first thought. Mars, Milky Way and Galaxy!"
Starbar and Milky bar (white chocolate, I know and like it too!) that's before we talk about the foreign ones
Apollo: Japan
Shuttle snacks and Moon Chocolate: 'Murica
Astros: Northern Ireland |
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There's a quirky little town in Alaska called Chicken. It only has about 15 or so residents (maybe more now, i was there 10 years ago).
Original settlers wanted to name it after the state bird but couldn't spell it 'Ptarmigan' so called it Chicken instead - close enough 😆 |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Yul Brinner was a Liverpool FC supporter who hated aftershave.Which is why Yul never wore Cologne."
Long before Deadpool and his buddy, no not the Aussie, who needs a manicure, bought into Wrecsam. Wacko Jacko was going to buy West Han united, until one of the club directors found out Michael's pet's name... |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Computer viruses where invented by the digital illuminati to force us into hardware and software upgrades at an unnatural pace. Typically only newspapers and magazines have a shorter time of pre-obsolescence. |
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By *elloWoman 21 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"Monkeys discovered how to make tea by accidentally dropping the dried leaves into a hot spa hole."
What did have for their break time at the piano moving company before they invented the tea? |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Monkeys discovered how to make tea by accidentally dropping the dried leaves into a hot spa hole.
What did have for their break time at the piano moving company before they invented the tea? "
Nothing too expensive: as they were only paid peanuts. |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Tena are going to sponsor the Loftus Road stadium next season. The first thing they're gonna do is put out more outside portaloos and revamp and increase the number of inside toilets for the home and away sides..
That's right:
Less queue
More pee
more aaah! |
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"Jogging was invented by Jim Fixx who died age 52 whilst jogging.
The Segway was invented by Jimi Heselden who died falling off a cliff into a river whilst riding his Segway. "
Dr.Atkins died morbidly obese of heart attack |
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By *orny PTMan 21 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Jogging was invented by Jim Fixx who died age 52 whilst jogging.
The Segway was invented by Jimi Heselden who died falling off a cliff into a river whilst riding his Segway.
Dr.Atkins died morbidly obese of heart attack "
So the Atkins diet, is pretty much similar to an Artic kitchen? |
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