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An unoriginal question
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By *eli OP Woman 19 weeks ago
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So you know what you're letting yourself in for, how kind of me.
Orgasms. How important are they to you? With people from here or outside of Fab. Yours and theirs. Do you ever think there's a tad *too* much emphasis placed on them? |
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By *elloWoman 19 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"So you know what you're letting yourself in for, how kind of me.
Orgasms. How important are they to you? With people from here or outside of Fab. Yours and theirs. Do you ever think there's a tad *too* much emphasis placed on them?"
Orgasms with other people aren't that important, if the orgasm was the most important but I wouldn't bother with the other person and just play with my toys.
Being with someone else is about the touch, smell and taste rather than anything else |
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Sexually I'm satisfied if they cum. If they want to make me cum, perfect, but I have toys if they don't.
Not all of my play is sexual though and it's possible to be utterly satisfied in other ways. |
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Orgasms are fabulous. I'm definitely someone who enjoys basking in that endorphin drenched afterglow.
But definitely not the be all and end all.
There's been times where I've been with someone who hasn't managed to reach that point, and that's okay. There's been times when I just want to fully engage in that worship and bask in that frustration and need without seeing an end to it 💜 |
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By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
Depends who I’m with and how secure I am in their attraction to me.
Sometimes an orgasm is an affirmation that they found me hot and i pushed their buttons.
That said, I prioritise their orgasm because it takes me at least 3 working days to cum usually |
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"Depends who I’m with and how secure I am in their attraction to me.
Sometimes an orgasm is an affirmation that they found me hot and i pushed their buttons.
That said, I prioritise their orgasm because it takes me at least 3 working days to cum usually "
Tuesday to Thursday booked out in calendar 🤓 |
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By *a LunaWoman 19 weeks ago
o o OO o o |
"Depends who I’m with and how secure I am in their attraction to me.
Sometimes an orgasm is an affirmation that they found me hot and i pushed their buttons.
That said, I prioritise their orgasm because it takes me at least 3 working days to cum usually
Tuesday to Thursday booked out in calendar 🤓"
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 19 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
I have to admit, if I'm getting fucked, I generally don't orgasm. I tend to go soft, and I get immense pleasure out of the act of coupling, and making my partner climax. My own orgasm isn't that big a deal for me.  |
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"I have to admit, if I'm getting fucked, I generally don't orgasm. I tend to go soft, and I get immense pleasure out of the act of coupling, and making my partner climax. My own orgasm isn't that big a deal for me. "
Wait till someone finds your prostate with their cock. Hooooooo boy! |
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By *eli OP Woman 19 weeks ago
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"So you know what you're letting yourself in for, how kind of me.
Orgasms. How important are they to you? With people from here or outside of Fab. Yours and theirs. Do you ever think there's a tad *too* much emphasis placed on them?
Orgasms with other people aren't that important, if the orgasm was the most important but I wouldn't bother with the other person and just play with my toys.
Being with someone else is about the touch, smell and taste rather than anything else "
So you don't mind if the other person doesn't come? Yes, it's a sensory delight when it's done well. |
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By *eli OP Woman 19 weeks ago
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"I am never satisfied until I make her cum, and I refuse to cum until she's satisfied. As they say, ladies first, and I'm a gentleman 😏"
But what happens if she doesn't? Or her satisfaction is in your orgasm?
Sometimes you're just not compatible I guess. In a sexual sense. It doesn't mean bad necessarily. |
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When playing with someone else they're not important at all. Sex isn't about orgasms for me, it's about intimacy, connection and bringing eachother pleasure in so many different ways. If I only wanted orgasms I would just stay at home with my toys. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 19 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I have to admit, if I'm getting fucked, I generally don't orgasm. I tend to go soft, and I get immense pleasure out of the act of coupling, and making my partner climax. My own orgasm isn't that big a deal for me.
Wait till someone finds your prostate with their cock. Hooooooo boy!"
Oh I'm keen, believe me! It's yet to happen. 🙄 |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"I am never satisfied until I make her cum, and I refuse to cum until she's satisfied. As they say, ladies first, and I'm a gentleman 😏
But what happens if she doesn't? Or her satisfaction is in your orgasm?
Sometimes you're just not compatible I guess. In a sexual sense. It doesn't mean bad necessarily."
In terms of compatibility I judge that with a social and hopefully a kiss. Kissing tells me if they're biologically compatible. If they taste and smell off to me, I know we're not biologically compatible.
In terms of technique, I ask her what she likes, I communicate with her during the act and listen to what she tells me and once I find that rhythm, pressure, technique, after paying extreme attention to her reactions, her breathing, I keep that going until she comes.
If she's struggling to focus on the pleasure which happens for people with ADHD or whatever, then I just take my time, help her feel relaxed and comfortable, reassure her. I can pick up on when they're struggling to focus so I act accordingly.
If it ultimately winds up that she can't cum after trying everything in my power, I just make it nice, sensual.. she still needs to enjoy herself. But I'll be kicking myself after the fact. |
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"
Orgasms. How important are they to you? With people from here or outside of Fab. Yours and theirs. Do you ever think there's a tad *too* much emphasis placed on them?"
7.5/10 important to me but I'd also say too much pressure is placed on them. Sex should ideally be anticipation rather than expectation. |
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I don't recall ever having a meet where we both didn't cum. It has on occasions happened in long teen relationships.
There are many reasons why someone hasn't come at that time. It wouldn't knock my confidence as we would still have had a good time |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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As long as the lady does, I'm content. I like the caressing her afterwards and giving her a mark out of 10 for how convincingly she sighs, "That was the best" |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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As someone who doesn't come easily, I can definitely feel too much emphasis is placed on my orgasm with some people. I love sex, even if I don't always orgasm.
Them? I bloody love when they come. But it's not essential to my sense of satisfaction if we've both had an amazing time together. |
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By *eli OP Woman 19 weeks ago
. |
"Orgasms are fabulous. I'm definitely someone who enjoys basking in that endorphin drenched afterglow.
But definitely not the be all and end all.
There's been times where I've been with someone who hasn't managed to reach that point, and that's okay. There's been times when I just want to fully engage in that worship and bask in that frustration and need without seeing an end to it 💜"
Oh you're a multi-orgasmic person aren't you Prey? If you didn't have more than a couple would you feel any element of not being sated?
I do get what you mean about wanting to bask in the act - as long as they're enjoying it that's the most important thing isn't it? There can be too much focus on someone coming. Blaming self etc. |
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By *eli OP Woman 19 weeks ago
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"Depends who I’m with and how secure I am in their attraction to me.
Sometimes an orgasm is an affirmation that they found me hot and i pushed their buttons.
That said, I prioritise their orgasm because it takes me at least 3 working days to cum usually "
You're a hoot, Luna. The more you know someone the easier it is to understand other factors affecting their orgasm, that's true. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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C likes to control mine. But I don't really enjoy cumming any more. It's all in the build up and then I get a big low. So for me, best avoided most of the time unless C decides that she wants to ruin one for me! |
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"As someone who doesn't come easily, I can definitely feel too much emphasis is placed on my orgasm with some people. I love sex, even if I don't always orgasm.
Them? I bloody love when they come. But it's not essential to my sense of satisfaction if we've both had an amazing time together."
Absolutely agree with this. I don't cum easily and often don't cum at all when playing with a new person so emphasis on "I'm only satisfied when she cums first etc etc" make me feel under pressure and uncomfortable 🫣 |
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"When playing with someone else they're not important at all. Sex isn't about orgasms for me, it's about intimacy, connection and bringing eachother pleasure in so many different ways. If I only wanted orgasms I would just stay at home with my toys. "
Exactly this. There's nothing worse than a "I'll continue until you cum" attitude either  |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"When playing with someone else they're not important at all. Sex isn't about orgasms for me, it's about intimacy, connection and bringing eachother pleasure in so many different ways. If I only wanted orgasms I would just stay at home with my toys.
Exactly this. There's nothing worse than a "I'll continue until you cum" attitude either "
I couldn't agree more! |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"As someone who doesn't come easily, I can definitely feel too much emphasis is placed on my orgasm with some people. I love sex, even if I don't always orgasm.
Them? I bloody love when they come. But it's not essential to my sense of satisfaction if we've both had an amazing time together.
Absolutely agree with this. I don't cum easily and often don't cum at all when playing with a new person so emphasis on "I'm only satisfied when she cums first etc etc" make me feel under pressure and uncomfortable 🫣 "
Yep! And that pressure just ensures it doesn't happen at all |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"As someone who doesn't come easily, I can definitely feel too much emphasis is placed on my orgasm with some people. I love sex, even if I don't always orgasm.
Them? I bloody love when they come. But it's not essential to my sense of satisfaction if we've both had an amazing time together.
Absolutely agree with this. I don't cum easily and often don't cum at all when playing with a new person so emphasis on "I'm only satisfied when she cums first etc etc" make me feel under pressure and uncomfortable 🫣 "
I know that was about my comment and if that was communicated with me beforehand, I know to take a step back and let her ease into it and then it's time for me to focus on my pleasure. Not like I'll just cum and run though, after care is important.
Communication and awareness is ALWAYS important. |
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As someone for whom orgasms don't cum easily I have learnt to accept that and recognise the reasons for that.
Some guys seem to see it as a challenge or an affront to their skills.
I have also had to accept that if the guy doesn't cum there can be reasons for that too.
I definitely don't expect them but I enjoy the journey even if I don't get to the destination. 
It is about the fun and intimacy, excitement and closeness. 💕 |
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"As someone who doesn't come easily, I can definitely feel too much emphasis is placed on my orgasm with some people. I love sex, even if I don't always orgasm.
Them? I bloody love when they come. But it's not essential to my sense of satisfaction if we've both had an amazing time together.
Absolutely agree with this. I don't cum easily and often don't cum at all when playing with a new person so emphasis on "I'm only satisfied when she cums first etc etc" make me feel under pressure and uncomfortable 🫣
I know that was about my comment and if that was communicated with me beforehand, I know to take a step back and let her ease into it and then it's time for me to focus on my pleasure. Not like I'll just cum and run though, after care is important.
Communication and awareness is ALWAYS important."
It was genuinely just a general comment as I see/hear the "I'm only happy once I've made the woman cum first" stuff quite frequently, but yes appreciate your sentiment that communication and awareness is absolutely always important ❤️ |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"As someone who doesn't come easily, I can definitely feel too much emphasis is placed on my orgasm with some people. I love sex, even if I don't always orgasm.
Them? I bloody love when they come. But it's not essential to my sense of satisfaction if we've both had an amazing time together.
Absolutely agree with this. I don't cum easily and often don't cum at all when playing with a new person so emphasis on "I'm only satisfied when she cums first etc etc" make me feel under pressure and uncomfortable 🫣
I know that was about my comment and if that was communicated with me beforehand, I know to take a step back and let her ease into it and then it's time for me to focus on my pleasure. Not like I'll just cum and run though, after care is important.
Communication and awareness is ALWAYS important.
It was genuinely just a general comment as I see/hear the "I'm only happy once I've made the woman cum first" stuff quite frequently, but yes appreciate your sentiment that communication and awareness is absolutely always important ❤️"
That's fair, my initial comment is describing my default stance on the matter. In other words, I just simply care about her pleasure and her having an orgasm is the climax to that pleasure.
I kick myself because if she doesn't have an orgasm it feels one sided if I cum. I don't the like that idea as it almost feels like I had a better time than she did. So it would help me if she communicated her satisfaction despite not reaching an orgasm.
I just cringe whenever I see women talk about their poor experiences with guys who finish fast and just stop. No after care, no oral, like come on dude she ain't done, why are you stopping? 🤦♂️ |
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By *eli OP Woman 19 weeks ago
. |
"I am never satisfied until I make her cum, and I refuse to cum until she's satisfied. As they say, ladies first, and I'm a gentleman 😏
But what happens if she doesn't? Or her satisfaction is in your orgasm?
Sometimes you're just not compatible I guess. In a sexual sense. It doesn't mean bad necessarily.
In terms of compatibility I judge that with a social and hopefully a kiss. Kissing tells me if they're biologically compatible. If they taste and smell off to me, I know we're not biologically compatible.
In terms of technique, I ask her what she likes, I communicate with her during the act and listen to what she tells me and once I find that rhythm, pressure, technique, after paying extreme attention to her reactions, her breathing, I keep that going until she comes.
If she's struggling to focus on the pleasure which happens for people with ADHD or whatever, then I just take my time, help her feel relaxed and comfortable, reassure her. I can pick up on when they're struggling to focus so I act accordingly.
If it ultimately winds up that she can't cum after trying everything in my power, I just make it nice, sensual.. she still needs to enjoy herself. But I'll be kicking myself after the fact."
Oh yes! I've mentioned it before but some people smell like wet goat to me. Slightly damp goat if I'm not that attracted to them. Smell, taste, how compatible you are kissing... all of those things are important. Did you know that some men physically aren't compatible with a woman? They affect her pH and she becomes more prone to UTIs. Nifty thing compatibility is, isn't it?
Listening, really listening and learning someone's body is a skill. It can take time to learn those little things that tell you when to stop or adjust slightly.
I admire your honesty in saying you'll be kicking yourself after. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"So you know what you're letting yourself in for, how kind of me.
Orgasms. How important are they to you? With people from here or outside of Fab. Yours and theirs. Do you ever think there's a tad *too* much emphasis placed on them?"
Theirs - very important, although pleasure without orgasm is still good (some people find orgasm difficult for various reasons and causing them pleasure is still very enjoyable to me).
Mine...increasingly important so as I get older. I often go several days without one these days and plenty of times I've not had one when with a woman and not been that bothered about the fact.
I think it's hard to say whether there's too much emphasis on orgasms because it is so individual.
And we wouldn't have you any other way Meli. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"I am never satisfied until I make her cum, and I refuse to cum until she's satisfied. As they say, ladies first, and I'm a gentleman 😏
But what happens if she doesn't? Or her satisfaction is in your orgasm?
Sometimes you're just not compatible I guess. In a sexual sense. It doesn't mean bad necessarily.
In terms of compatibility I judge that with a social and hopefully a kiss. Kissing tells me if they're biologically compatible. If they taste and smell off to me, I know we're not biologically compatible.
In terms of technique, I ask her what she likes, I communicate with her during the act and listen to what she tells me and once I find that rhythm, pressure, technique, after paying extreme attention to her reactions, her breathing, I keep that going until she comes.
If she's struggling to focus on the pleasure which happens for people with ADHD or whatever, then I just take my time, help her feel relaxed and comfortable, reassure her. I can pick up on when they're struggling to focus so I act accordingly.
If it ultimately winds up that she can't cum after trying everything in my power, I just make it nice, sensual.. she still needs to enjoy herself. But I'll be kicking myself after the fact.
Oh yes! I've mentioned it before but some people smell like wet goat to me. Slightly damp goat if I'm not that attracted to them. Smell, taste, how compatible you are kissing... all of those things are important. Did you know that some men physically aren't compatible with a woman? They affect her pH and she becomes more prone to UTIs. Nifty thing compatibility is, isn't it?
Listening, really listening and learning someone's body is a skill. It can take time to learn those little things that tell you when to stop or adjust slightly.
I admire your honesty in saying you'll be kicking yourself after. "
Thank you, I value my authenticity. Took that stupid mask off months ago and I feel so much better for it.
But back to the topic. Yes I absolutely am aware of men affecting a woman's pH and I'm certain that biological incompatibility is what causes birth defects as well in their offspring.
Society has forgotten how important biological compatibility and oheromones are, and why people taste and smell off to us despite them having good hygiene.
I don't understand how so many women haven't figured out why they get more male attention in public when they're ovulating 🤷♂️ |
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These days I tend not to worry about orgasms. Whether they're mine or there's. When I was younger I'd put more emphasis on them, but now I believe sex is a lot more enjoyable(for both) when you forget about them and just get lost in the moment. |
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As a simple man, I only require one orgasm...though multiple can be achieved, in a human sense it's not worth it because you start shooting fresh air blanks after all ammunition has been spent..so I'm not particularly fussed about one's self ... Providing orgasm's is a different story... I will keep giving them until your body simply can't take anymore and I'll still push for more out of you... For me nothing gives me a bigger buzz than when a lady cums and cums hard, especially when they are at their most physical weakness after multiple orgasm's...I can't help it, I always say...just one more!😁 |
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"For me, the orgasms are nice, but I prefer the stuff that happens before them.
Most definitely, the play and intense build up is electrifying 😁"
I like erotic, passionate sex that builds up slowly.
The best orgasms for me aren't the screaming, thrashing about on the bed ones.
A deep, slow penetration with varying thrusts is so enjoyable and can lead to an intense, whole body orgasm. |
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For me, sex without an orgasm is just frustrating.
Fortunately I orgasm so easily that orgasm denial is all but impossible and I can almost always orgasm.
An ex used to sometimes use a combination of viagra and MDMA that left him unable to orgasm. In spite of him reassuring me that everything felt amazing and he had a fantastic time, I always wondered if it didn't feel like something was missing without the climax, but that's just because it would be inconceivable for me to feel sated without at least one good orgasm. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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"For me, sex without an orgasm is just frustrating.
Fortunately I orgasm so easily that orgasm denial is all but impossible and I can almost always orgasm.
An ex used to sometimes use a combination of viagra and MDMA that left him unable to orgasm. In spite of him reassuring me that everything felt amazing and he had a fantastic time, I always wondered if it didn't feel like something was missing without the climax, but that's just because it would be inconceivable for me to feel sated without at least one good orgasm."
That happens when substances are involved. They mess with our bodies differently between men and women.
But your comment is exactly the reason my default stance is to make sure her having an orgasm first is a priority. I understand for some they struggle to climax and feel under pressure to be expected to have one which is why it's important we communicate how our bodies work and bring awareness to these things to alleviate any sense of pressure or performance anxiety, and to just enjoy the act for what it is |
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It's the intended destination for all parties. I wouldn't be upset if I didn't arrive but the journey was enjoyable. Normally would from touch or penetration, although rarely from oral.
If theirs is important to them, I'd do everything in my power to get them there  |
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