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Ask me anything

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How you doing?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…"

FAF?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have you ever imagined riding on the outer edge of the universe as it continued to expand at the speed of light into the nothingness beyond?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"How you doing?"

Are you asking in a Joey way or an interested way?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

FAF?"

I do actually

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

FAF?

I do actually "

Oo! 😏💕

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"How you doing?

Are you asking in a Joey way or an interested way? "

😁 Bit of both

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Have you ever imagined riding on the outer edge of the universe as it continued to expand at the speed of light into the nothingness beyond? "

Actually I have. I’ve wondered what the edge of everything looks like and if the black abyss beyond really is what Wetherspoons feels like

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? "

Sadly not

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"How you doing?

Are you asking in a Joey way or an interested way?

😁 Bit of both"

In the former; hop on

In the latter; I can’t wait for my week off

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Sadly not "

Sigh.

You're also in Manchester. 😖

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Sadly not

Sigh.

You're also in Manchester. 😖"

Yarp

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By *aizyWoman  over a year ago

west midlands

Do you feel that you live authentically to your values?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

George Michael sang that he was never gonna dance again, but he did. So does that make him a moral vacuum you couldn’t trust with your goldfish, or are people allowed to make bold statements influencing millions and later rescind aforementioned fiat about their own lives?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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By *ouplususCouple  over a year ago

Cheshire


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…"

Custard cream or bourbon?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Do you feel that you live authentically to your values?"

Yes I do. I’m out as poly, bi and as a swinger at work and with my friends. I try to live ethically and with respect for others

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"George Michael sang that he was never gonna dance again, but he did. So does that make him a moral vacuum you couldn’t trust with your goldfish, or are people allowed to make bold statements influencing millions and later rescind aforementioned fiat about their own lives?

"

Retcon is a real thing. Even for George

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

27

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

Custard cream or bourbon?"

Custard cream

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What is your purpose in life?

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By *ouplususCouple  over a year ago

Cheshire


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

Custard cream or bourbon?

Custard cream "

Are you dunking?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

27 "

Correct! 😳

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.

♾️, where does it start?

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman  over a year ago

Reading

What’s the last book you read and loved?

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Have you ever imagined riding on the outer edge of the universe as it continued to expand at the speed of light into the nothingness beyond?

Actually I have. I’ve wondered what the edge of everything looks like and if the black abyss beyond really is what Wetherspoons feels like"

If it does....the loos will be even further beyond than the beyond. 🤷‍♂️

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By *iscoDougMan  over a year ago

London


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…"

Would you rather have dicks for fingers or bollocks for toes?

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By *ena AmourTV/TS  over a year ago

Chard

Would you like a toasted teacake?

(Anyone who gets this can have sexual favours)

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By *ickshawedCouple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Have you ever worn an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini? And can I see a picture?

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By *BWLOVER1965Man  over a year ago

Ipswich

Confucius says be who you are not who you want to be

Now give me lottery numbers for tomorrow night winning numbers only

Well tried everything else

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan  over a year ago

Manchester / Cardiff


"Would you like a toasted teacake?

(Anyone who gets this can have sexual favours) "

Can we choose who this favour comes from? I assume as you're so many billion miles away on a space mining vessel, you're not going to (also, you're not my type sorry, I don't do talking toasters)

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan  over a year ago

Manchester / Cardiff

Do you think the six nations table finished as it 'should have' this year (as in form, not who you wanted)?

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By *ceKweenWoman  over a year ago

Bolton

Where do missing socks go?

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By *enis ColadaMan  over a year ago

Totnes.

Why in a building they called stairs,outside of a building they called steps

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By *ohnSwingsSurreyMan  over a year ago

Horley

Do you think anyone ever finally took that lady to Funky Town?

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.

Will the Apprentice ever have a candidate that isn’t a muppet?

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By *issLickalottapusWoman  over a year ago

La La Land

What came first, the chicken 🍗 or the egg 🥚? 🤔

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By *ena AmourTV/TS  over a year ago

Chard


"Would you like a toasted teacake?

(Anyone who gets this can have sexual favours)

Can we choose who this favour comes from? I assume as you're so many billion miles away on a space mining vessel, you're not going to (also, you're not my type sorry, I don't do talking toasters)"

I will compromise with a cheese and ham bravel?

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By *onnachakeaneMan  over a year ago

Dundrum

What's the most controversial opinion you hold that would surprise most people?

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By *ena AmourTV/TS  over a year ago

Chard


"Why in a building they called stairs,outside of a building they called steps"

Used to be stairs on outside of old buildings, some still exist now. But it was so dangerous due to people falling off they decided to encase them, hence staircase was born and why it is considered bad luck to pass on the stairs!

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By *alcolm XtraMan  over a year ago

Northfleet


"Ask me anything"

Can I borrow a tenner 'til payday?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What is your purpose in life? "

42

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"♾️, where does it start?"

Where the snake bites its tail

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What’s the last book you read and loved?"

Anything by Robin Hobb, she’s great

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

Would you rather have dicks for fingers or bollocks for toes?"

Dicks for fingers. Bollocks for toes would make walking difficult

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Would you like a toasted teacake?

(Anyone who gets this can have sexual favours) "

I don’t get it 😭

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Have you ever worn an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini? And can I see a picture? "

I’ve not but you can have a picture anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What is your most important boundary and why?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Confucius says be who you are not who you want to be

Now give me lottery numbers for tomorrow night winning numbers only

Well tried everything else "

Is there a question in there?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Do you think the six nations table finished as it 'should have' this year (as in form, not who you wanted)?"

The table doesn’t lie. Whether or not I wanted France to win

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Where do missing socks go?"

In the snakes mouth with its tail

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Why in a building they called stairs,outside of a building they called steps"

Because words

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Do you think anyone ever finally took that lady to Funky Town?"

Oooh! Interesting

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Will the Apprentice ever have a candidate that isn’t a muppet?"

No. It makes for good TV

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What came first, the chicken 🍗 or the egg 🥚? 🤔"

The dinosaur

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What's the most controversial opinion you hold that would surprise most people?"

In my head, it’s not controversial

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Ask me anything

Can I borrow a tenner 'til payday?"

Sure, pop round and get it

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"How do blind people know when to stop wiping?"

That’s what noses are for

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What is your most important boundary and why?

"

My front door. It keeps the queue orderly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You missed my question 😭😭

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What is your most important boundary and why?

My front door. It keeps the queue orderly "

Back door it is then

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman  over a year ago

Markfield

Hey, potato?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"You missed my question 😭😭"

I absolutely didnt

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What is your most important boundary and why?

My front door. It keeps the queue orderly

Back door it is then"

For you, Willy? Always

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Hey, potato?"

Boiled, mashed or stuck in a stew?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Are there any individuals you would be uncomfortable/unwilling to share your partners with? If YES explain why this is.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You missed my question 😭😭

I absolutely didnt"

Oh I see it ... It wasn't what I expected. Got it. Soz 🤭

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By *rthur30Man  over a year ago

Warrington

I've got a brand new combine harvester. Do you have the key?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Are there any individuals you would be uncomfortable/unwilling to share your partners with? If YES explain why this is."

My choices aren’t theirs and I have no control over who they meet. Having said that, if I know that a person is cheating, and abuser or a narcissist, I will say so my partner can make informed choices

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"You missed my question 😭😭

I absolutely didnt

Oh I see it ... It wasn't what I expected. Got it. Soz 🤭"

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I've got a brand new combine harvester. Do you have the key?"

I gave it to Jethro

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Do you believe that total honesty is a good thing?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Do you believe that total honesty is a good thing?"

No. Honesty is a good thing but only when married with kindness and respect. Not everyone is owed your complete honesty or story.

That’s not the same thing as obscuring or lying

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman  over a year ago

North West

Who would win a triceramisu building competition between me and you? 🤔

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Should pants be abolished? Give reasons for and against.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Who would win a triceramisu building competition between me and you? 🤔"

It depends if the use of AI would be allowed

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Should pants be abolished? Give reasons for and against.

Mrs TMN x"

Around me? Underwear should not be allowed

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Should pants be abolished? Give reasons for and against.

Mrs TMN x

Around me? Underwear should not be allowed "

Nope, for everyone, everywhere

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Should pants be abolished? Give reasons for and against.

Mrs TMN x

Around me? Underwear should not be allowed

Nope, for everyone, everywhere"

That would make the swimming baths quite risky

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.

I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Should pants be abolished? Give reasons for and against.

Mrs TMN x

Around me? Underwear should not be allowed

Nope, for everyone, everywhere

That would make the swimming baths quite risky"

Is that going in the arguments against section?

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman  over a year ago

North West


"Who would win a triceramisu building competition between me and you? 🤔

It depends if the use of AI would be allowed "

No AI. Only real ingredients.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?"

Are you Scottish? If so toughen up. Its tshirt weather

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Where’s the floral dressing gown from? My nans asking

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?

Are you Scottish? If so toughen up. Its tshirt weather"

Or taps aff. Skin’s waterproof after all.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple  over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Peeing in the shower.... is this acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?

Are you Scottish? If so toughen up. Its tshirt weather

Or taps aff. Skin’s waterproof after all."

Not sure I’d get away with that as much as I’d like to😜

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.


"Peeing in the shower.... is this acceptable? "

Yes, that is why they were invented. It saves water.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Did fab turn me gay or was I there already & didn't realise?

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By *olyGlamorousWoman  over a year ago

Manchester


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…"

Have you ever had tea with a monkey?

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.


"I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?

Are you Scottish? If so toughen up. Its tshirt weather

Yes I am. That is all year for some.

Or taps aff. Skin’s waterproof after all.

But I might get sunburnt, what with my peely wally skin, freckles and ginger hair.

Not sure I’d get away with that as much as I’d like to😜"

You won’t know unless you try it.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?"

Yes

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Should pants be abolished? Give reasons for and against.

Mrs TMN x

Around me? Underwear should not be allowed

Nope, for everyone, everywhere

That would make the swimming baths quite risky

Is that going in the arguments against section? "

It depends on your life choices

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.


"I live in Scotland and I’m going to the gym soon. Will I need a rain jacket or just a hoodie?

Yes"

Hoodie it is then.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Who would win a triceramisu building competition between me and you? 🤔

It depends if the use of AI would be allowed

No AI. Only real ingredients. "

Probably you. *wipes tiramisu off face*

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Where’s the floral dressing gown from? My nans asking "

My bedroom door… want to borrow it?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Peeing in the shower.... is this acceptable? "

Are you getting out to pee?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Did fab turn me gay or was I there already & didn't realise?"

The fitting answer is; bit of both

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

Have you ever had tea with a monkey? "

Not since the zoo got the injunction in place

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By *he MinionMan  over a year ago

Surrey


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…"

I'm about to insulate my timber / tiled porch roof. With the baton, 25mm PIR board buildup, i'm thinking put the vapour barrier over all of that then board over the lot, rather than vapour above the PIR ?. Got to be that way hasnt it due to the temperature change, it will cause condensation any other way.

Thats how i'm gonna do it anyway but do you concur ?

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…"

Why are people such selfish cunts today?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

I'm about to insulate my timber / tiled porch roof. With the baton, 25mm PIR board buildup, i'm thinking put the vapour barrier over all of that then board over the lot, rather than vapour above the PIR ?. Got to be that way hasnt it due to the temperature change, it will cause condensation any other way.

Thats how i'm gonna do it anyway but do you concur ? "

… sure…

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Go on. I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer with anything remotely relevant or at all but feel free to ask…

Why are people such selfish cunts today?"

Only today?

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By *he MinionMan  over a year ago

Surrey

Cheers TM.

I feel reassured you have the same thoughts as me about it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's your biggest turn on? Or turn off x

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What's your biggest turn on? Or turn off x"

Big eyes, being smelly

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"What's your biggest turn on? Or turn off x

Big eyes, being smelly "

What if they have big eyes and are also smelly?

God, I’m so contrary today

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By *vaRoseWoman  over a year ago

Ankh-Morpork

What’s your favourite recipe for a quick tasty dinner?

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By *olyGlamorousWoman  over a year ago

Manchester

Reply to Mutual...

Dickpix and people who don't read my profile fully

... And yes, yours is perfect 👌🏼

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"What’s your favourite recipe for a quick tasty dinner?"

Deliveroo

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Which question has been the most challenging for you to answer and why?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have u ever followed through with a fart on public transport 😬

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Which question has been the most challenging for you to answer and why?"

The one about infinity

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By *ea monkey OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Have u ever followed through with a fart on public transport 😬"

No… should I have?

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