FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it worth staying on here as a single lad
Is it worth staying on here as a single lad
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3 weeks is no time at all
A lot of single men wait months, if not years for a meet
The solution is not by spending time online, but getting out and meeting real people - social events or clubs
Again, they won't guarantee sex, but they will improve your presence, which may, eventually, lead to sex
For an average bloke on here though, it's a tough ride - there's no easy way of saying that
For every door that opens, 50 or more will probably be shut in your face
Reduce expectations
Get rid of entitlement you might think membership brings
Improve your persona
Dress your shop window |
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"3 weeks is no time at all
A lot of single men wait months, if not years for a meet
The solution is not by spending time online, but getting out and meeting real people - social events or clubs
Again, they won't guarantee sex, but they will improve your presence, which may, eventually, lead to sex
For an average bloke on here though, it's a tough ride - there's no easy way of saying that
For every door that opens, 50 or more will probably be shut in your face
Reduce expectations
Get rid of entitlement you might think membership brings
Improve your persona
Dress your shop window "
I been on here for years mate just a new profile that's all |
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"What would it take to make it worth you staying? What are your expectations, are they realistic, how much are you prepared to put in to achieve them? "
it's not just about naughty meets I'm happy just chatting to people too with similar interests
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OP, you've been here a mere 3 weeks. That's no time at all. Patience and perseverance is key. If you wish to 'fast track' your experience in building friendships and connections then perhaps attend a few fab socials (with no expectations). |
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"What would it take to make it worth you staying? What are your expectations, are they realistic, how much are you prepared to put in to achieve them? it's not just about naughty meets I'm happy just chatting to people too with similar interests "
The chat rooms might be an option for you then
The thing is that so many people say they don't mind just chatting but don't mean it. This makes it difficult for people like you |
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"What would it take to make it worth you staying? What are your expectations, are they realistic, how much are you prepared to put in to achieve them? it's not just about naughty meets I'm happy just chatting to people too with similar interests
The chat rooms might be an option for you then
The thing is that so many people say they don't mind just chatting but don't mean it. This makes it difficult for people like you "
tbh most of the time the message gets opened and just left so I think forums and event nights will be good |
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"What would it take to make it worth you staying? What are your expectations, are they realistic, how much are you prepared to put in to achieve them? it's not just about naughty meets I'm happy just chatting to people too with similar interests
The chat rooms might be an option for you then
The thing is that so many people say they don't mind just chatting but don't mean it. This makes it difficult for people like you "
Very true. I love chatting about every topic under the sun, and now I have the time for chat, but 98% of time single men try to steer it towards sex chat or pressuring to meet, despite me saying several times from the very beginning I am happy to chat but don’t find them attractive enough to meet in person (harsh, you may think, but 1. It’s the truth and 2. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.) But hey, we’re on a sex site after all, right? Yeah, but I decide what I want to talk about. So I just stop responding or block. |
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"Definitely stay, the decent, genuine men always rise to the top and the time wasters and rude lads always sink, so definitely stick around  "
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How do you distinguish between the "decent" and "genuine men" and the "time wasters and the rude lads"?...for they swim in the same bucket. |
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"What would it take to make it worth you staying? What are your expectations, are they realistic, how much are you prepared to put in to achieve them? it's not just about naughty meets I'm happy just chatting to people too with similar interests
The chat rooms might be an option for you then
The thing is that so many people say they don't mind just chatting but don't mean it. This makes it difficult for people like you
Very true. I love chatting about every topic under the sun, and now I have the time for chat, but 98% of time single men try to steer it towards sex chat or pressuring to meet, despite me saying several times from the very beginning I am happy to chat but don’t find them attractive enough to meet in person (harsh, you may think, but 1. It’s the truth and 2. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.) But hey, we’re on a sex site after all, right? Yeah, but I decide what I want to talk about. So I just stop responding or block. "
I reply to all messages I get even if not interested as it's still polite |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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It depends.....
Arw you willing to put some effort in, like profile writing, going along to clubs/socials? Are you actually interested in swinging?
Can you handle rejection without it affecting your self esteem?
If your here looking for easy sex then no, you'll probably not find it.
When you message most people will check out your profile to see if they are compatible, if it's bare they can't tell and will probably ignore. |
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"So I just stop responding or block. I reply to all messages I get even if not interested as it's still polite "
Even if someone is being consistently pushy? Or abusive? Or is so outside your clearly stated preferences as to be laughable? |
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"So I just stop responding or block. I reply to all messages I get even if not interested as it's still polite
Even if someone is being consistently pushy? Or abusive? Or is so outside your clearly stated preferences as to be laughable? "
no I completely understand it from that point of view if they being pushy or rude or nasty then yes I'd block as there's no need for any nasty messages |
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By *bi HaiveMan 17 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"What would it take to make it worth you staying? What are your expectations, are they realistic, how much are you prepared to put in to achieve them? it's not just about naughty meets I'm happy just chatting to people too with similar interests
The chat rooms might be an option for you then
The thing is that so many people say they don't mind just chatting but don't mean it. This makes it difficult for people like you tbh most of the time the message gets opened and just left so I think forums and event nights will be good "
Like many, on our couples profile we view the senders profile before opening a message.
If there's nothing to spark interest then the message won't even get read.
The main reason so many people (mainly men) struggle is because they put all their time and energy into trying to write a decent opening message and completely disregard the most important part of their Fab life - a decent profile write up and some good photos.
If you don't put more effort into your profile than your messages you're shooting yourself in the foot. 🤷♂️ |
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We use the initial message and profile as a filter.
Would you have taken any notice of your profile when you were on here as a couple.
As you will know couples and single females get plenty of people to choose from,so you need to stand out.
But socials are a good way to meet people. |
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"We use the initial message and profile as a filter.
Would you have taken any notice of your profile when you were on here as a couple.
As you will know couples and single females get plenty of people to choose from,so you need to stand out.
But socials are a good way to meet people."
yes we both replied to everyone unless they were being nasty about things then they got blocked but always made time to say not for us sorry |
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"Like minded is on hundreds of mens profiles I don't get it go to a glory hole sucking cock in 5 mins and verify you "
do many women do this as all I see is blokes putting this up to empty straight cocks never a woman
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"It takes a long time unfortunately, most people won't interact with new profiles or no varifications, I'd say you'd need to be on for at least several months before you get replies and meets. "
was a new profile as I deleted the other but was tempted back was veried on that 1
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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"Like minded is on hundreds of mens profiles I don't get it go to a glory hole sucking cock in 5 mins and verify you do many women do this as all I see is blokes putting this up to empty straight cocks never a woman "
no it's men you are bi so you should get cock sucked by men
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"Honest answers as a single lad on here find it hard to get messages back is it worth staying or just deleting "
Only you can answer your own question
If you want a quick fuck I’d say no
If you want to join the forums, have a laugh, perve gorgeous naked and semi naked photos and a meet is a bonus I’d say yes |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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It’s important to manage expectations on here. That applies to all forms of dating/ hookup apps. When you start to feel it’s taking its toll on you take a break. I’ve just had the best part of 6 weeks off and I didn’t realise just how much I needed it. |
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Reduce your expectations.
I only had a couple of meets here in two years.
However I love looking at the photos and videos , and reading The Forum etc.
Replies are nice , but often nothing comes of it.
Older guy here, so no surprise. |
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"Men only whinge on here when they not getting BJ 🤣🤣🤣 buy one of them tight toys full it with lube job done no whingeing "
Where does the lube go and which toy ?
Lego, subbuteo a football?
Help a guy out  lol |
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It's really hard to meet females as they are bombarded with messages.
Put some effort into your profile and make sure you read theres.
Try and engage before asking for sex.
Personally I find there is a shortage of honest, reliable single guys.
Going to clubs is always a great idea but it's not a guarantee of fun. There still needs to be a spark x |
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By *ucka39Man 17 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Hiya op
The cam chat rooms are always active and you never know where it can lead
Use as much as possible of the site, including the forums, don't just rely on a response to a message you've maybe sent |
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"Stay OP, use the forums, attend clubs and social events and you'll eventually get a meet. 3 weeks on here is nothing. You need to be patient and have thick skin on here. "
cheers shag yh thinking of going cupids try it out
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It depends partly on luck, having people who find you mutually compatible. And whether you use Fab in conjunction with swinging clubs etc, as it increases your reach. Realistic expectations are what only you can make as well as investing appropriate efforts |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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"Stay OP, use the forums, attend clubs and social events and you'll eventually get a meet. 3 weeks on here is nothing. You need to be patient and have thick skin on here. cheers shag yh thinking of going cupids try it out "
Cupid's is good club
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"Stay OP, use the forums, attend clubs and social events and you'll eventually get a meet. 3 weeks on here is nothing. You need to be patient and have thick skin on here. cheers shag yh thinking of going cupids try it out Cupid's is good club "
thanks yh I'm gonna check it out there and took some people's advice too
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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"Stay OP, use the forums, attend clubs and social events and you'll eventually get a meet. 3 weeks on here is nothing. You need to be patient and have thick skin on here. cheers shag yh thinking of going cupids try it out Cupid's is good club thanks yh I'm gonna check it out there and took some people's advice too "
little Miss sub does really good events she one most friendliest nice women I have ever met on club scene her fella is nice too
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Only you can decided that. Do you think your doing everything you possibly could.
You've been on the forums awhile now, look at all the successful men on the forums and try to pick up some tips.
Failing that your only other choice is to get yourself out to clubs or socials |
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"Only you can decided that. Do you think your doing everything you possibly could.
You've been on the forums awhile now, look at all the successful men on the forums and try to pick up some tips.
Failing that your only other choice is to get yourself out to clubs or socials"
I'm going cupids next week all sorted now gonna try it out not expecting anything maybe get chatting and few drinks |
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"Only you can decided that. Do you think your doing everything you possibly could.
You've been on the forums awhile now, look at all the successful men on the forums and try to pick up some tips.
Failing that your only other choice is to get yourself out to clubs or socialsI'm going cupids next week all sorted now gonna try it out not expecting anything maybe get chatting and few drinks "
well that's good |
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