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A woman’s perspective about threesomes.
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
We are looking for a non-penetrative threesome and I was wondering if the non-pen. part is a deal-breaker for most women?
We love edging and foreplay and understand that isn’t everyone’s thing - just interested to hear what y’all think.
Never posted on this before, so go easy (as if!)
Thanks.
Meg n Max
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I think if the potential meet knows before hand then by showing up they agree to that caveat.
However I am sure they will try their best to change your mind - these are the people who you never meet again !
Good luck |
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Is this just PiV penetrative or any penetration?
I'm not generally interested in meeting men if sucking dick is off the table.
And I very much enjoy fingering.
And I do love strap on play with women.
I don't mind so much missing out on the straight sex sex. But if it's everything penetrative then I'm out 💜 |
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This is why it's important to discuss boundries and expectations before a meet so you can check compatibility in what you want.
Personally, penetration is the best part of sexual play for me but that can be fingers, toys or a strap on as already mentioned and doesn't need to be a penis. Oral doesn't do a lot to make me cum. My preference especially with a private meet is one where everyone can play together and have full sex, "soft swap" type scenarios probably wouldn't be for me. I'd likely be more open to that in a club environment though.
It's all about finding the people who are right for you and compatibility. |
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I've met a d/s couple a few times and always respect thire boundaries. Sometimes it's non vaginal penetration. Sometimes it's anal only or could be just punishment for the sub .communication is the key font like what's in offer then don't accept the invite |
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I'm straight, so not your target audience. However, I don't think that will be for all women, so it will reduce your chances.
I always think if a bi lady chooses to join a couple, it's because she wants to fully enjoy both people and still wants full sex.
Otherwise she could just choose to meet a woman on her own.
Just my view, but others may like this. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Is this just PiV penetrative or any penetration?
I'm not generally interested in meeting men if sucking dick is off the table.
And I very much enjoy fingering.
And I do love strap on play with women.
I don't mind so much missing out on the straight sex sex. But if it's everything penetrative then I'm out 💜"
We just mean PiV is off the table. Anything goes after that. Agree with what you are saying.
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Can I ask why? Is an all or nothing kinda thing?
Sorry maybe I didn't word it very well but we would ✅️ still meet with a couple if that was their boundaries."
Getcha. Nice to know. Thank you. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"I think if the potential meet knows before hand then by showing up they agree to that caveat.
However I am sure they will try their best to change your mind - these are the people who you never meet again !
Good luck "
Thanks gonna need it I reckon.  |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"This is why it's important to discuss boundries and expectations before a meet so you can check compatibility in what you want.
Personally, penetration is the best part of sexual play for me but that can be fingers, toys or a strap on as already mentioned and doesn't need to be a penis. Oral doesn't do a lot to make me cum. My preference especially with a private meet is one where everyone can play together and have full sex, "soft swap" type scenarios probably wouldn't be for me. I'd likely be more open to that in a club environment though.
It's all about finding the people who are right for you and compatibility. "
Absolutely. Well said. Though finding them is proving hard graft, hopefully it will be worth it. Thanks. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but I'd wonder if I was being brought in as a present for one half of the couple  "
That definitely wouldn’t happen. We both want to play. Just no PiV. Thanks for mentioning this, we hadn’t thought it could be perceived that way (naively) and will make that clearer on our profile. Top shout.  |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"I've met a d/s couple a few times and always respect thire boundaries. Sometimes it's non vaginal penetration. Sometimes it's anal only or could be just punishment for the sub .communication is the key font like what's in offer then don't accept the invite "
Top advice about comms. Going to make what we mean clearer on our profile. Thanks. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"I'm straight, so not your target audience. However, I don't think that will be for all women, so it will reduce your chances.
I always think if a bi lady chooses to join a couple, it's because she wants to fully enjoy both people and still wants full sex.
Otherwise she could just choose to meet a woman on her own.
Just my view, but others may like this. "
I think you’re right. A lot of wonderful bi women we have connected with would feel like they weren’t getting their needs met, and we would never want that. Thanks. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"It can be very sensual.We have had 3/4 sums where lots of foreplay/oral & the use of toys.Have had some amazing times."
Exactly. That’s what we think. Nail on the head.
(Not that a nail on the head sounds very appealing.) |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Out of interest, and not in any way trying to sway your boundaries or tell you you're wrong, this is purely so I can understand.
Why is it you want PiV off the table? 💜"
Good question. We’re trying to ease our way into this and, as a couple, sometimes have great sex without PiV so wanted to try that first. It’s certainly not the be all and end all for us, though totally understand that’s a personal preference thing and respect people who feel differently. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Not for me ,Would agree to boundaries before hand but in the moment I need what I want "
Too right. Don’t we all?
Agree re boundaries and this site is good because everyone is different. The problem is connecting with the right person whose boundaries match. |
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Hey OP ✨️
We're not for you as we only come as a couple but just wanted to say that you're doing fabulous.
Stick with your boundaries and expand them at your own pace
Soft play can be extremely sensual and satisfying 😌
It may not be for everyone, and people will have their own needs too but out there is just what you're looking for 😌
S xxx |
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I probably wouldn't be that keen on soft swap with a couple. Once things start being off the table I start wanting those things more.
I also just like enjoying both men and women at the same time within this dynamic. |
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When arranging a meet it's key that all involved know and respect the boundaries of all.
So if you don't want PIV then set your stall out and go for it. You may find you have fewer potential playmates to choose from but the ones you do have will be on board with your choices - as you would with theirs.
This is all about having fun, and if you are doing something you don't feel comfortable with them that fun is gone. |
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"Not for me ,Would agree to boundaries before hand but in the moment I need what I want
Too right. Don’t we all?
Agree re boundaries and this site is good because everyone is different. The problem is connecting with the right person whose boundaries match. "
Absolutely, good luck on your journey . Our boundaries are constantly changing and expanding ,its all good fun with the right people x |
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From our experience of soft and full swap the act of penetration isn't key factor in everyone having a really hot and fulfilling experience. When the chemistry is right and the team work is spot on you can have an awesome time and all cum in a soft swap setting. What's really important is that everyone feels fully immersed and involved and no one feels left out or like a human sex toy. |
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By *igad999Man 6 weeks ago
wolverhampton |
This is exactly where me and my wife are at right now
Well almost
We fully played many years ago but after kids etc she’s not wanted to be fucked by a man since
But of late we’ve had lots of fun with couples just not gone all the way for her
We don’t set out to meet etc it’s all happened spur of the moment at the time as she always goes with the flow and mood as opposed to pre planning
And it’s mostly been with people we know too
Maybe one day she will want to take it further
But for the minute more than happy with how things go when they occasionally do and it’s being non penetrative for her |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Hey OP ✨️
We're not for you as we only come as a couple but just wanted to say that you're doing fabulous.
Stick with your boundaries and expand them at your own pace
Soft play can be extremely sensual and satisfying 😌
It may not be for everyone, and people will have their own needs too but out there is just what you're looking for 😌
S xxx"
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you. Optimism restored  |
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"Hey OP ✨️
We're not for you as we only come as a couple but just wanted to say that you're doing fabulous.
Stick with your boundaries and expand them at your own pace
Soft play can be extremely sensual and satisfying 😌
It may not be for everyone, and people will have their own needs too but out there is just what you're looking for 😌
S xxx
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you. Optimism restored "
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"I probably wouldn't be that keen on soft swap with a couple. Once things start being off the table I start wanting those things more.
I also just like enjoying both men and women at the same time within this dynamic. "
Totally get where you’re coming from and maybe we’ll get there one day. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"From our experience of soft and full swap the act of penetration isn't key factor in everyone having a really hot and fulfilling experience. When the chemistry is right and the team work is spot on you can have an awesome time and all cum in a soft swap setting. What's really important is that everyone feels fully immersed and involved and no one feels left out or like a human sex toy."
We might have to cut n paste some of that into our profile. Really well said. Appreciated. Thanks. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"This is exactly where me and my wife are at right now
Well almost
We fully played many years ago but after kids etc she’s not wanted to be fucked by a man since
But of late we’ve had lots of fun with couples just not gone all the way for her
We don’t set out to meet etc it’s all happened spur of the moment at the time as she always goes with the flow and mood as opposed to pre planning
And it’s mostly been with people we know too
Maybe one day she will want to take it further
But for the minute more than happy with how things go when they occasionally do and it’s being non penetrative for her "
Would be great to know people and have that as an option and sounds like you’re in a good place with similar boundaries. It’s nice to meet someone who lives it. Makes us feel like we’re not being that unreasonable. Thanks. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Hey OP ✨️
We're not for you as we only come as a couple but just wanted to say that you're doing fabulous.
Stick with your boundaries and expand them at your own pace
Soft play can be extremely sensual and satisfying 😌
It may not be for everyone, and people will have their own needs too but out there is just what you're looking for 😌
S xxx
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you. Optimism restored
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️"
You’re our kinda peeps. Mwah 💋 |
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Given my experiences with other women... I really dont think I could have a experience like this as I adore hand/fingers play as well as toys, tongue etc ❤️ i really don't think i could control myself enough to stick to non-penetrative 😊💦 |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"Given my experiences with other women... I really dont think I could have a experience like this as I adore hand/fingers play as well as toys, tongue etc ❤️ i really don't think i could control myself enough to stick to non-penetrative 😊💦"
We’re with you on that. I think we need to make it clearer that we just mean no penis in vagina (PiV) anything else goes! Xx |
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"I don't mind, as long as I've had my share of orgasms.
Pleasure is where it’s at. And there are so many ways to get there. "
Exactly! I often prefer a meet in a club to be non-penetrative, for example. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
Just want to say thanks to everyone who replied. Given us some really good perspectives and pointers and even a smattering of optimism.
And I now know what PiV means.
Bonus.
Cheers peeps.
💋 |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"I don't mind, as long as I've had my share of orgasms.
Pleasure is where it’s at. And there are so many ways to get there.
Exactly! I often prefer a meet in a club to be non-penetrative, for example. "
Lovin’ your attitude. Gotta get us some of that. Xx |
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I think the problem for a lot of ladies who play alone with couples is how the (rightly or wrongly) read between the lines when they read stuff like:
No penetration for joining female (as in this case)
No kissing of the male half
Ladies to play first in front of male
Etc
It's not so much some women can't get on board with certain boundaries and still enjoy a hot time with a couple. It's more they don't want be treated as a lesser participant and/or an experiment or play thing. Sometimes boundaries that sound like restrictions or inequality can be interpreted as a precursor to a less than ideal 3some situation (often due to bitter previous experience). Or more simply a case of what's actually in it for me?
You can't really judge chemistry until you meet in person. But you're less likely to invest time and effort to meet a couple in person if some things come across as Amber flags compared to a couple who come across as green flags all the way. Obviously boundaries are important and never be disingenuous with what you want as a couple. Just understand from an Internet perception these boundaries may look less attractive options (is what it is). That's why clubs, parties and organise socials are great. Because lone women and couples can meet in person and judge the chemistry in person without going out of their way or wasted effort. Leading to 3somes and opportunities that may have not happened over the Internet. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"I think the problem for a lot of ladies who play alone with couples is how the (rightly or wrongly) read between the lines when they read stuff like:
No penetration for joining female (as in this case)
No kissing of the male half
Ladies to play first in front of male
Etc
It's not so much some women can't get on board with certain boundaries and still enjoy a hot time with a couple. It's more they don't want be treated as a lesser participant and/or an experiment or play thing. Sometimes boundaries that sound like restrictions or inequality can be interpreted as a precursor to a less than ideal 3some situation (often due to bitter previous experience). Or more simply a case of what's actually in it for me?
You can't really judge chemistry until you meet in person. But you're less likely to invest time and effort to meet a couple in person if some things come across as Amber flags compared to a couple who come across as green flags all the way. Obviously boundaries are important and never be disingenuous with what you want as a couple. Just understand from an Internet perception these boundaries may look less attractive options (is what it is). That's why clubs, parties and organise socials are great. Because lone women and couples can meet in person and judge the chemistry in person without going out of their way or wasted effort. Leading to 3somes and opportunities that may have not happened over the Internet."
Great advice. Thank you.
It would be no PiV for either of us and need to make that clearer. We’ve clarified what we mean on our profile on more detail but those kind of amber flags you’re talking about make sense.
There’s definitely a better way for us to word this. Great reply. Thank you. |
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There is someone out there for most dynamics. Finding them can be the hard bit!
I suspect this preference will narrow your market, it’s not something I would have been interested in, but as long as you’re clear up front, what you’re looking for is up to you.
You may find it easier to meet people open to this in clubs because this can be a part of their evening if they’re ideally looking for more. At least that way, you have the possibility of people who want just this as well as those who may go on to join others afterwards. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"It's not clear in your profile what your looking for. My advice would be to make it perfectly clear then hopefully you will find those interested in the same"
Agree. We’re on it. Going to tweak and twiddle with things later. Thanks. |
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By *egnMax OP Couple 6 weeks ago
Nottingham |
"There is someone out there for most dynamics. Finding them can be the hard bit!
I suspect this preference will narrow your market, it’s not something I would have been interested in, but as long as you’re clear up front, what you’re looking for is up to you.
You may find it easier to meet people open to this in clubs because this can be a part of their evening if they’re ideally looking for more. At least that way, you have the possibility of people who want just this as well as those who may go on to join others afterwards. "
Good shout, though we’re not quite ready for clubs yet. Maybe one day.  |
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