FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Childfree by choice?
Childfree by choice?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ylo7 OP Man 6 weeks ago
Clayton, Manchester |
I'm 36 and I'm child free by choice, can anyone share their experiences and stories in the dating world when bringing up the conversation about kids, knowing you have no desire to have them and the conflicts you had with dates/partners? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm 37 and very much child free by choice. I am very clear about it on my dating profiles etc. I wouldn't date someone who did want kids as we wouldn't be compatible. It's something I'm very clear about before I even agree to a date. It will only lead to conflict later on if not.
My preference is to date other child free people but it's not a deal breaker if I like them enough. I just wouldn't want to have my own. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm 36 and I'm child free by choice, can anyone share their experiences and stories in the dating world when bringing up the conversation about kids, knowing you have no desire to have them and the conflicts you had with dates/partners? "
If it’s any consolation, I bet this conversation is a lot harder for women to have. The pressures can be overwhelming  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm 36 and I'm child free by choice, can anyone share their experiences and stories in the dating world when bringing up the conversation about kids, knowing you have no desire to have them and the conflicts you had with dates/partners?
If it’s any consolation, I bet this conversation is a lot harder for women to have. The pressures can be overwhelming "
I am forever told "you just haven't met the right person yet"  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ylo7 OP Man 6 weeks ago
Clayton, Manchester |
"I'm 36 and I'm child free by choice, can anyone share their experiences and stories in the dating world when bringing up the conversation about kids, knowing you have no desire to have them and the conflicts you had with dates/partners?
If it’s any consolation, I bet this conversation is a lot harder for women to have. The pressures can be overwhelming
I am forever told "you just haven't met the right person yet" "
Just been on a date and she brought up wanting a family. My heart sank because I won't give her that but that's the card I'm dealt it. Gotta find someone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Partner is 36, I'm nearly 54.
My kids are grown and she definitely doesn't want any. If she does, I'm there for that if she ever changed her mind.
We talked, it was discussed, she doesn't want kids. She's happy being child free and I'm there for that too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm 37 and very much child free by choice. I am very clear about it on my dating profiles etc. I wouldn't date someone who did want kids as we wouldn't be compatible. It's something I'm very clear about before I even agree to a date. It will only lead to conflict later on if not.
My preference is to date other child free people but it's not a deal breaker if I like them enough. I just wouldn't want to have my own. "
Ditto I've been just unlucky with the few girlfriends I have had, the last 1 had already been married & got 3 kids so didnt want any more |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have three kids and I’ve dated one or two women that don’t have kids and don’t want any. I generally find the worldview , experiences and values are different to mine and that makes us incompatible |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Generally it's one of those things mentioned early on. I don't and have never wanted children. When I was younger that meant breaking up with people I loved because they wanted a family, and that's not my life.
Well into my thirties now. The majority of people I date already have kids. If they want more or are looking for a maternal figure for their existing ones, then I'm out.
It's pretty high on the deal-breaker list 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ylo7 OP Man 6 weeks ago
Clayton, Manchester |
"I have three kids and I’ve dated one or two women that don’t have kids and don’t want any. I generally find the worldview , experiences and values are different to mine and that makes us incompatible"
Simply because they don't want kids or have kids? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm childfree by choice. Thankfully my partner also didn't want children, so I was lucky there.
I've always found it's women who were more intrusive about why I havent got children to be honest.
I haven't been on the dating scene for a long time, but when I was, I made it clear I didn't want kids.
I also wouldn't have chosen someone with kids to have a serious relationship with either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When I met my ex wife she was 10 years older than me (I was 22) she had 2 kids and was sterelized. I was perfectly ok with that and we were together 16 years. My wife now had a hysterectomy shortly before we met and, now in my mood 40's I have absolutely no regrets.
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have three kids and I’ve dated one or two women that don’t have kids and don’t want any. I generally find the worldview , experiences and values are different to mine and that makes us incompatible
Simply because they don't want kids or have kids? "
Maybe it matters more in a cohabiting or exclusive situation.
But I don't find that being a parent or not particularly affects how people are with me. Child free or grown kids or the one who's daughter just had her first birthday, their connection with me isn't notably different for it 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have three kids and I’ve dated one or two women that don’t have kids and don’t want any. I generally find the worldview , experiences and values are different to mine and that makes us incompatible
Simply because they don't want kids or have kids? "
Yes, I like dating women that have kids because we have a lot in common. I like dating women that want kids because we share values and priorities. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Growing up gay it was obvs not really something that came up, and the libertarian in me would have run a mile from the notion. Now, in my 50s, if I was with a stable partner or married, I would adopt. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Good on you O.P. It's drummed into everyone that they must reproduce.
I read an article the other day ( can't remember who by and which rag or website ) but I so agreed with the woman who had chosen to be child free..
She said, ' I look at people with kids and they are never happy.' and that is so true. They love their kids but the way society is made , they lose themselves and it is FUCKING exhausting and expensive.
Live your own life O.P. x and don't regret it later on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sWyldWoman 6 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I got married at 16 and had my first child at 17. While I love my boys dearly , I became a parent without even knowing myself . As a result they are now much older and I get to figure that out .
If I had my time again I would be child free by choice and as harsh as this sounds dating someone with young children would probably be a no for me now too.
Don't get me wrong, I've been and continue to be a good mum and I'm so proud of them all and me for raising them . I don't believe they ruined my life or any of the things people said back in the day .
I just now have huge respect for people who choose not to.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *avie65Man 6 weeks ago
In the west. |
"I got married at 16 and had my first child at 17. While I love my boys dearly , I became a parent without even knowing myself . As a result they are now much older and I get to figure that out .
If I had my time again I would be child free by choice and as harsh as this sounds dating someone with young children would probably be a no for me now too.
Don't get me wrong, I've been and continue to be a good mum and I'm so proud of them all and me for raising them . I don't believe they ruined my life or any of the things people said back in the day .
I just now have huge respect for people who choose not to.
"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've met a few people now, where asking if we each had kids came up conversationally and they started giving me reasons why they don't. I stopped them in their tracks. No one should have to give reasons why they don't have or want kids to anyone. It's not obligatory and society needs to stop making people feel guilty for choosing the no children route.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I made the decision quite young and have stuck with my choice.
Sometimes i do have doubts whether it was the right choice, then walking around the supermarkets and hearing them scream and whinge and ibthank the lord I made the choice I did.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I find this to be an issue when dating, it's a tricky subject as some can not have or have lost, and some just do not want to have any, it's your choice if someone has a problem with that they are not your person, but we'll done for saying so and early on too! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have three kids and I’ve dated one or two women that don’t have kids and don’t want any. I generally find the worldview , experiences and values are different to mine and that makes us incompatible
Simply because they don't want kids or have kids?
Yes, I like dating women that have kids because we have a lot in common. I like dating women that want kids because we share values and priorities."
In some ways I can relate to what you are saying, in terms of world views. Yet I have a partner, who has no interest in having children. Ironically, she's the first partner to get on well with my kids, and I don't think it's unrelated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
