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Is the first time an audition?
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So those who are happily coupled and those seeking relationships, is the first time you go/went to bed with somebody part of the selection process?
What would you do if all the attraction was there, minds clicked but then they showed no potential at all in the bedroom?
Would it be game over or is it something you could learn to live with? |
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Personally when I met Sean, we waited a good few weeks before having sex, we saw each other every evening and really got to know each other.
Luckily, when we had sex it didn’t disappoint but I already liked him at that point and new skills can be taught so if it wasn’t amazing, it wouldn’t have been a deal breaker for me.
Donna |
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Sorry I didn't answer the other part of the question. But yeah if there was no sexual compatiblity I probably wouldn't pursue a romantic relationship and go down the friend route instead. I'm happy enough single that I would probably want high compatibility with someone to want to pursue a relationship with them. |
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Only in the sense that the level of effort and desire needs to be high.
I'd judge that not skills themselves. Skills are a bit of a test and learn to find what eachother enjoys best.
Enthusiasm needs to match mine.
If you're dialling it in on day 1 then the only way is down, then out the door  |
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I do think first time sex is part of the 'audition' but if you are sensible and really like the other person, you'll recognise that first times are never going to be perfect and you'll probably both need to work at it, talk about differences and see if you can sort them out, and be honest if you can't. |
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By *eliWoman 5 weeks ago
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Yes, in a way but it's not an audition as such. Not sure how to describe it. If that chemistry is there then I'm happy.
First time people can be nervous, it takes some time to truly relax and feel comfortable around another. And to learn another's body, what they enjoy, what they really get off on. Sexual compatibility doesn't mean immmediate sexual perfection (or near enough) for me. |
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Let's be honest with each other it's not audition
But when first time you have sex with that person do you give it everything you have or do you hold back thinking that they are not as naughty as me ?
But they could be doing the same |
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…so…
It really really does mean what you mean by ‘no potential’
If everything else was perfect, conversation, discussion, desire to make your partner happy in all things would lead you to improve this area? …surely?
Whether this lack of potential could be overcome by learning skills or whether the relationship would develop into friends , open, cuck, there’s many ways it could develop.
I was shit in the sack when I was younger I didn’t know what went where or how the different bits worked …no idea what foreplay was or why it might be a good thing, where the clitoris was, the fact people maybe different and like slightly different things …who knew? Still learning…when you stop it’s time to stop.
If EVERYTHING else was perfect …you’d be stupid not to want that person in your life in some way surely? We’re far too immediate and impatient these days.
Everyone has potential not everyone sees it.
Equally if you want cheese and onion, why would you eat salt and vinegar because it’s there ?
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"Equally if you want cheese and onion, why would you eat salt and vinegar because it’s there ?
"
Because it's there.
Less of an audition, more of a trial shift.
If the sexual chemistry isn't there then I don't pursue a sexual relationship 💜 |
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"Sorry I didn't answer the other part of the question. But yeah if there was no sexual compatiblity I probably wouldn't pursue a romantic relationship and go down the friend route instead. I'm happy enough single that I would probably want high compatibility with someone to want to pursue a relationship with them. "
I like your answers. Makes sense. |
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Never game over, if you really like each other then communicate and try to to improve. If you partner really doesn't want to discuss sex and try to improve then you would really have to consider the future. Great sex whilst not an essential part of a relationship it is a very important one, alongside all the other important things! |
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The opposite also applies. I’ve been with someone who was sexual compatible but whose’s initial personality was not their true personality and was feigning having the same interests. It was that which broke the deal as out of the bedroom, we had little in common.
Only time will tell with all things to do with people.
Honesty is always key. Maybe we are so terrified of rejection or being judged that more and more people seem to hide who they really are. |
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Skills can be taught. Connection, energy, humour, tactility, self awareness hopefully shine through.
I always think myself lucky being the girl. Guys are expected to get hard, perform the right amount of time, cum (cos if they don't then they must not find the girl attractive enough) rinse and repeat!! No pressure lads! |
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