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Coping with ghosting/ rejection

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after.

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman 5 weeks ago

Reading


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

It’s never easy, I met a man previously that I had been chatting with for weeks and we had agreed we would see each other again. He messaged me the next morning and all seemed good and then the radio silence. Months later he came back, apparently life had got in the way and he hadn’t been around. I knew that wasn’t true as he had another verification in the meantime.

I try to think of these things as a good escape, if they can’t behave with decency and openness from the outset then you are better off without them.

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By *ynamite500Man 5 weeks ago

Angus

Easy for me to say op, don't read into it too deeply, treat it as water off your back. If you have zero expectations, you will never feel let down. Sometimes people change their mind, sometimes they discover that they themselves are not compatible, sometimes it's outer influences. You could ask a million questions. It's best not to and just carry on... If things change great, if not ... Nothing lost. It's a common occurrence for us gentlemen and I have learnt that it's generally not a me problem but things that are beyond my influence or control... So don't worry about it.

Big hug your way!!🥰

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By *aron Van WinkleMan 5 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well? "

It’s their loss. Haha.

I sometimes don’t, that’s being honest. Not in a -shaking in the corner type of way, but if we get no explanation how do we deal with it?

So we must just move on, which I do.

My advice is always as long as you were true and it ends abruptly, you just didn’t match up and they figured it out before you did, and you would have done eventually

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By *eetmelaterMan 5 weeks ago

Sunderland

Don't take anything personal ever!

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By *rHotNottsMan 5 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It’s not really ghosting is that if they don’t reply immediately? On the flipside of this, I think a lot of people wonder how to cope with over needy people from FAB.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

Ah thank you. It's happened quite a few times and I try not to take it personally as I've read other ladies having similar problems, but it's always wondering what happened.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

Ah they do have a habit of returning don't they. I hate that, I agreed to meet someone once and he blocked me when I was getting ready, he apologised and admitted he got nervous but then had 2 other meets haha.

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By *rHotNottsMan 5 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

And no, I doubt you did anything anything wrong at all? Especially if you met more than once. Sometimes people just need a little bit of space and yes might still perv on your profile but might not have anything interesting to say or just need some time after a meet and let that passion rise up again.

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By *mandoMan 5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

I wasn't over needy at all. Just sent one message the evening after he left, he didn't reply so I deleted his number and left it at that.

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By *ellhungvweMan 5 weeks ago

Cheltenham

It happens OP. Life does get in the way sometimes. Or maybe he got caught out. Or maybe he felt you wanted more than he could give. Or maybe there are a host of other reasons. My advice would be to try to not read too much into it - I know other will disagree but I don’t think Fab is a dating site and people just come and go.

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By *RAGO.Man 5 weeks ago

Wirral

I've popped a few messages out there,l on the past.always a polite introduction and include a face.

I'd only send to ones I feel we have similar interests.

Majority deleted or no response

I just leave it and block after a few days.

I'm never offended by rejection as a unique guy that most won't like

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By *herrybakewellCouple 5 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Some people prefer to keep finding new people instead of regular meets.

They wont tell you that though....not until afterwards.

Its a very difficult lifestyle to navigate.

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By *eyond PurityCouple 5 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I think you just become a bit more conditioned and it makes you a little more cautious next time that it can happen.

We’ve had heat building in chats and met had a great time and then they’ve barely been in touch afterwards. You can’t predict someone’s actions after the meet as everyone has different intentions.

You’ll go mad overthinking it and some people will say it’s a swinging site so it’s expected and others will say that they wanted a FWB not a FB.

Just be you - don't let it get you down and put it down to you know what you don’t like now and you’ll try and minimise that happening again…

K

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By *thanDiPoolMan 5 weeks ago

alloa

I never find it easy. I'd rather build up something with 1 or 2 folk and have fun with them but even then it's a struggle to get off the ground

Knocks my confidence tbf

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By *exyScientistsCouple 5 weeks ago

Castlebar


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

Try not to overthink it. There xould be lots of reasons...

It happens to everyone and you'll probably never know. 🤷

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

I've no issues with people ignoring messages. Women get a ton so I wouldn't take it personally at all if I were you, but I mean when you have spent time with a person and they abruptly stop contact.

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By *ypersoonMan 5 weeks ago

WHITCHURCH, Shropshire

I try not to take rejection here seriously cause after all, this is not a dating site as far as I'm concerned.

The last time it hit hard (& made me relax over rejection plus learn to not take this seriously) was NYE last year when I'd been in touch since Christmas with a cuckold couple who I'd discussed bout meeting up with in Shrewsbury failing to meet so last minute (cuck hubby fell ill on day & wife couldn't find a chaperone) that I only knew by the time I'd arrived in Shrewsbury 😕

I was willing to give them another chance but they never got in touch again & disappeared from the site a few weeks later

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By *thanDiPoolMan 5 weeks ago

alloa


"I've no issues with people ignoring messages. Women get a ton so I wouldn't take it personally at all if I were you, but I mean when you have spent time with a person and they abruptly stop contact. "

I've had it a few times. It will sting for a day or 2 not gonna say it won't but just think there are plenty other guys on here. Your in luck cause the male to female ratio is in your favour.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

Yeah I get some blokes especially the good looking ones will be meeting lots, this guy said he had only ever had one meet before. I hadn't had a meet in 7 months so was hoping he wouldn't be another fuck and chuck but nevermind lol

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By *eroLondonMan 5 weeks ago

Mayfair


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection..."

You don't, or at least with great difficulty when everything you had with that person transcended so many meaningful levels, with the expectation of continuity. I think aside from pondering and mulling things over it's really a case of letting time heal. A 'root cause' analysis just leaves you with more unanswered questions.

It's not nice to feel discarded but it happens. I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you.

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By * and R cple4Couple 5 weeks ago

swansea

As shitty as it sounds maybe after the 2nd meet he just realised he wasn't into you and instead of being honest picked the easy way out.

Maybe he's married and his wife caught him could be many things.

Maybe he will message you in a few weeks when hes horny and give you some bullshit excuse.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 5 weeks ago

South Molton

I was talking to a chap yesterday who had arranged a 2nd meet, he drove from Portsmouth to Devon and got stood up. That's not on at all. Takes nothing to drop a message

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By *thanDiPoolMan 5 weeks ago

alloa


"Yeah I get some blokes especially the good looking ones will be meeting lots, this guy said he had only ever had one meet before. I hadn't had a meet in 7 months so was hoping he wouldn't be another fuck and chuck but nevermind lol"

And they wonder why they never get meets.....

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By *thanDiPoolMan 5 weeks ago

alloa

Long story short some guys are dicks. They message and arrange stuff when horny and back out when there clear headed. Some women do it toom

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By *mmaleiaWoman 5 weeks ago

Trowbridge


"

Maybe he will message you in a few weeks when hes horny and give you some bullshit excuse. "

👆🏻this, block him if he does ❤️

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By *asty tatsyMan 5 weeks ago

london

It’s hard not to think did I do something wrong, should I have done this maybe done that. But in my opinion we just have to leave it for what it is and move on. I hope you’re ok op and don’t overthink it, keep moving forward

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By *eroLondonMan 5 weeks ago

Mayfair


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋 "

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance.

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By *eliWoman 5 weeks ago

.

I think you need to get it out of your head that you did anything wrong OP. You didn't.

Yeah it's a bit crap he hasn't messaged. You could give valuable headspace to it, worry all of that. Come up with reasons why he hasn't.

Or you can say fuck it, you can't control if and when another person messages you, regardless of how much you enjoyed the sex and get on with things. Sure you can feel a bit meh for a bit. Nothing wrong with that.

Dust yourself off before too long though x

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By *esparate danMan 5 weeks ago

glasgow


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

On reflection how much effort did he put in to get to meet you. Was he dishonest .. looking back do you think he lovebombed you .. implied he wanted more

Important lessons for not being played

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By *etwife8230Couple 5 weeks ago

Newport

If they don't have the decency to reply afterwards then you've saved yourself another experience with a shitty person . It sucks to feel rejected but after a few days it passes x

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By *eliWoman 5 weeks ago

.


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance."

Yep. They're not losing out on anything if they decide you're not for them. Bit blunt, apologies OP!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan 5 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

You just can't dwell on it. You sound like your after an FWB set up. One will come along who suits. Enjoy the fun finding one and don't get too hung up along the way.

Shit will always happen.

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By *ellhungvweMan 5 weeks ago

Cheltenham

[Removed by poster at 19/04/25 12:15:52]

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By *ellhungvweMan 5 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance."

Agreed

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

Unfortunately it is standard behaviour for a lot of men and people in general, especially the one's born with a phone in their hand. Lol!

There's might be a bit of people-pleasing there.

I don't look at who has looked at my profile unless, they wink at me. I kind of expect people that I've played with before to look at my profile....

Unfortunately people ghost for all kinds of reason and some of them don't even know the reasons themselves....like you have to have the skills of a psychotherapist ( joke at my profile) to tease out bit by bit why they do what they do. (in my case it was the teasing out of late diagnosed autism)

Sometimes I literally forget to message people because I feel overwhelmed and/or I'm ill/triggered. It's annoying but it's not something I can change and I'm one of the lucky ones who recognise that my behaviours do make other people upset even if it's not my intention.

Sometimes if you are used to being blamed for something, your default setting is to take the blame for something that is not your fault.

Hugs...From what you describe, it's not you and even if it was how are you supposed to know if he doesn't tell you... cowardice and communication failure on his part.

My advice go out and do something that boost your mood and you will forget all about 2-meet guy.

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By *edSirenWoman 5 weeks ago

magic mountain

I don’t really think about it tbh. Regardless of the connection, people are on here for a reason. That includes fucking multiple people. Their prerogative. I’ve had guys come back and explain. Almost always life. And while appreciated, it’s not needed. We don’t owe each other anything and if that’s all they could give then that’s cool 😎✌🏻

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By *mandoMan 5 weeks ago

Shrewsbury


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance."

Well, Glad you know me so well that you can say that with absolute certainly 👍.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after.

It’s never easy, I met a man previously that I had been chatting with for weeks and we had agreed we would see each other again. He messaged me the next morning and all seemed good and then the radio silence. Months later he came back, apparently life had got in the way and he hadn’t been around. I knew that wasn’t true as he had another verification in the meantime.

I try to think of these things as a good escape, if they can’t behave with decency and openness from the outset then you are better off without them. "

Yeah I can't deal with closed off people. We are incompatible. with my autism, I need a lot of direct and blunt to the point communication...otherwise it just goes over my head.

Like my colleagues said I'm bossy. I said well just ignore me If you think I'm being bossy...and we had a good laugh about it. Then we found out about the autism and that explained my inadvertly wanting to have every detailed and done in a particular way....I'm still on a journey of letting go.

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By *ggdrasil66Man 5 weeks ago

Saltdean

There is no point in sour grapes, I block people so that I don’t forget and message them again.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman 5 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

I'm curious as to your self doubt when people don't text...... start 'knowing' that it is them not you and then you don't have to be so self critical. If you are sure you have done nothing wrong don't take the blame.

Does your profile say you want a textual relationship and contact and validation after ? Might help if you look for someone that wants the same.

Happier days to you xx

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Easy for me to say op, don't read into it too deeply, treat it as water off your back. If you have zero expectations, you will never feel let down. Sometimes people change their mind, sometimes they discover that they themselves are not compatible, sometimes it's outer influences. You could ask a million questions. It's best not to and just carry on... If things change great, if not ... Nothing lost. It's a common occurrence for us gentlemen and I have learnt that it's generally not a me problem but things that are beyond my influence or control... So don't worry about it.

Big hug your way!!🥰"

I'm neurotic to the point of joking with my paramours that I'm an uptight tight ass ( pun intended)

I'm trying to let go of things beyond my control but it's so damned hard!!

Like work...I want my supervisors and managers to support me with my conditions but I might just have to admit defeat they they aren't equipped and I have to find another way to make money/keep my brain and body active/stimulated...(staying at home only on disability doing nothing is a bad idea for me)

I had to say this in a meeting that I can't control my supervisors and managers if they have no interest or capacity in learning what autism is and how to support it. Sad but true.

I constantly have to remind myself to focus on what I can control and not other things and definitely trying to control other people is a futile exercise!!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Don't take anything personal ever!

"

Me over here with a personality disorder: um...everything is personal with me. Lol!

BPD/EUPD =

Autism SD =

PTSD =

Yeah, I spend a lot of time talking myself off a mental ledge because some part of my brain took something personal. MF'ers. ( my brain parts not other people) Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"It’s not really ghosting is that if they don’t reply immediately? On the flipside of this, I think a lot of people wonder how to cope with over needy people from FAB."

Bro, good luck to anyone wanting an immediate reply from me. Family, Friends and paramours know it's a 24 -48 wait if we are not meeting.

My FAB messages have to wait 1-4 weeks for a reply. Lol!

I have a wonky brain....I forget to buckle my cycle helmet...Perimenopause is making it worse.

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By *thanDiPoolMan 5 weeks ago

alloa


"Don't take anything personal ever!

Me over here with a personality disorder: um...everything is personal with me. Lol!

BPD/EUPD =

Autism SD =

PTSD =

Yeah, I spend a lot of time talking myself off a mental ledge because some part of my brain took something personal. MF'ers. ( my brain parts not other people) Lol!"

Autism here. Fuckin great aint it

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I wasn't over needy at all. Just sent one message the evening after he left, he didn't reply so I deleted his number and left it at that. "

Hugs. I get the impulse. I only block and delete people who pissed me off and I now have the ingrained habit of psychoanalysing why exactly I was pissed off...was I hangry or did they cross a hard boundary which I had notified them of or based on basic decency.

Often it's just me being hangry or dehydrated or overstimulated.

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By *rdere OpusCouple 5 weeks ago

Brum - ish

There are so many different ways to do this site and none of them are right or wrong. In an ideal world, everybody would be upfront about what they’re looking for - completely no strings one offs, friends with benefits, relationships, etc.

It falls down when people aren’t honest, either about what they’re looking for or their intentions going forward. That’s one thing that can make this site difficult.

OP it’s not easy, but I think it’s best to think of it as you weren’t looking for the same thing. I’d definitely recommend good boundaries - as others have said, he may well come back at a later date and want to pick up where you left off and that’s where you need to determine if you’re genuinely ok with that or not.

L

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

As I'm the worst at messaging ever, people probably think I ghost them, just sometimes I'm not in a place for conversation.

I do think not your unique situation but in general people expect a lot from you on fab, I'll log on and not look at my messages for a week or so but I'll scroll the forums and that seems to piss people off.

My time is precious and if I don't have enough to carry a decent conversation then I won't look at my messages until I do.

I'll go weeks sometimes months between messages because fab just isn't that high on my priorities, my family, work, life all come 1st.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I've popped a few messages out there,l on the past.always a polite introduction and include a face.

I'd only send to ones I feel we have similar interests.

Majority deleted or no response

I just leave it and block after a few days.

I'm never offended by rejection as a unique guy that most won't like"

Whatever protects your sanity! There is mental fatigue to deal with the no-reply of lots of carefully crafted messages ( my graduate application process) or the flipside of too many low-quality, unrealistic messages.

In my case I closed all my message filters to all single men,So I approach the man or if I meet him in real life he has to give me his Fab name to keep in contact.

I have 6000 unread messaged in my personal email inbox. Lol! Luckily, most are do not reply. Lol!

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By *urvyFan!Man 5 weeks ago

Bury

As a bloke on here it’s something you have to get used to and not take it personally. I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us but the way some women deal with that can be a bit harsh!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Some people prefer to keep finding new people instead of regular meets.

They won't tell you that though....not until afterwards.

Its a very difficult lifestyle to navigate.

"

This is very true. The thrill and adrenaline of something new can be an addiction.

Going to clubs takes the edge off for me because I can go to the clubs regularly and meet someone or with some of the clubs I find them relaxing even without playing/sexual contact. It's more human and I get to know the regulars without even having to have sexual contact with them. Staff are good fun too!

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By *eroLondonMan 5 weeks ago

Mayfair


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us..."

No they don't. The actions and inactions of other men on here has never affected my Fab journey or experience. I map my own path on here, irrespective of what other men are doing.

ㅤㅤ

...also, men ·are· allowed to change their minds too.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I think you just become a bit more conditioned and it makes you a little more cautious next time that it can happen.

We’ve had heat building in chats and met had a great time and then they’ve barely been in touch afterwards. You can’t predict someone’s actions after the meet as everyone has different intentions.

You’ll go mad overthinking it and some people will say it’s a swinging site so it’s expected and others will say that they wanted a FWB not a FB.

Just be you - don't let it get you down and put it down to you know what you don’t like now and you’ll try and minimise that happening again…

K

"

Me to my brain: What do you want?

My brain to me: Whatever I can get?

Me to my brain: Try again for a more adult response.

My brain to me: Whatever I can get that doesn't repulse me or make me feel uncomfortable and unsafe within reason.

Better.

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By *r Man45Man 5 weeks ago

North West

Unfortunately it happens OP, it can dent your confidence if you let it. Im afraid some people are just after 1 nighters, and not regulars. Keep smiling, all good things come to those that wait....

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I never find it easy. I'd rather build up something with 1 or 2 folk and have fun with them but even then it's a struggle to get off the ground

Knocks my confidence tbf"

Hugs. I spend a lot of time trying to boost my confidence and self esteem...it's like a job in itself...as I have to do lots of different things and meet lots of different people to even begin to feel ok.

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By *T2022Man 5 weeks ago

Manchester

sadly it happens . especially when you get your so sexy and i love the body and parts and then as soon as face pics its ghosting . but you have to move on but it hurts those first moments

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By *igrating ladMan 5 weeks ago

Hertfordshire

OP I feel your pain. I’ve had numerous mess abouts on this site. From meets with couples that after I ask to be verified as it shows I’m genuine to my reply I get blocked. Or will be chatting away getting on well, even had cam sessions but when it comes to organising for a meet, guess what I get ghosted with no explanation.

The worse for me was a couple I was speaking with, spoke a few times on phone/cam and they seemed so genuine. We had spoken for weeks about the fun but when it came to me travelling 60 miles there to the agreed social location, guess what they blocked me.

Nothing surprises me on here anymore. I also find you now get a lot of OF or SC wannabes on here to get attention. It’s a shame as for the few that are genuine you just get overlooked or messed about.

Stay positive OP you’re a very attractive lady. I’m sure guys will definitely be winking you lol

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I try not to take rejection here seriously cause after all, this is not a dating site as far as I'm concerned.

The last time it hit hard (& made me relax over rejection plus learn to not take this seriously) was NYE last year when I'd been in touch since Christmas with a cuckold couple who I'd discussed bout meeting up with in Shrewsbury failing to meet so last minute (cuck hubby fell ill on day & wife couldn't find a chaperone) that I only knew by the time I'd arrived in Shrewsbury 😕

I was willing to give them another chance but they never got in touch again & disappeared from the site a few weeks later"

Life be like that sometimes.

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By *atty CoramWoman 5 weeks ago

Wimbledon


"It happens OP. Life does get in the way sometimes. Or maybe he got caught out. Or maybe he felt you wanted more than he could give. Or maybe there are a host of other reasons. My advice would be to try to not read too much into it - I know other will disagree but I don’t think Fab is a dating site and people just come and go. "

Respectfully, the only thing that gets in the way of meaningful communication is cowardice.

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By *aybeLadyWoman 5 weeks ago

West Dublin

It happens. Expect the unexpected on here & as other people have said, go into anything with low expectations.

I take everything with a pinch of salt.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan 5 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"It happens OP. Life does get in the way sometimes. Or maybe he got caught out. Or maybe he felt you wanted more than he could give. Or maybe there are a host of other reasons. My advice would be to try to not read too much into it - I know other will disagree but I don’t think Fab is a dating site and people just come and go.

Respectfully, the only thing that gets in the way of meaningful communication is cowardice.

"

Or being absolutely bored to tears from endless meaningless wittering. Or loads of other stuff.

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By *heVikingJarlMan 5 weeks ago

behind you

May sound bad but I just had to understand as a single guy on here it is part of the course, I just try to understand that I am not everyone's cup of tea so it isn't anything personal

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Yeah I get some blokes especially the good looking ones will be meeting lots, this guy said he had only ever had one meet before. I hadn't had a meet in 7 months so was hoping he wouldn't be another fuck and chuck but nevermind lol"

Unfortunately, he sounds inexperienced and they can be the worst offenders.

Another reason I go to the clubs regularly so I'm not......gagging for it ( it being hope, expectations or sex).

I know clubs aren't for everyone but I'm someone who actually feels safe in groups.

I find people act very differently in groups than they do when they are alone with someone.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection...

You don't, or at least with great difficulty when everything you had with that person transcended so many meaningful levels, with the expectation of continuity. I think aside from pondering and mulling things over it's really a case of letting time heal. A 'root cause' analysis just leaves you with more unanswered questions.

It's not nice to feel discarded but it happens. I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you."

Whoever discarded Lord Nero is a fool.

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple 5 weeks ago

Watermouth

The are many things can happen, distance, a better offer, the car hits a lamp post.

..but it costs nothing to say, can we cool it.

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By *eroLondonMan 5 weeks ago

Mayfair


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection...

You don't, or at least with great difficulty when everything you had with that person transcended so many meaningful levels, with the expectation of continuity. I think aside from pondering and mulling things over it's really a case of letting time heal. A 'root cause' analysis just leaves you with more unanswered questions.

It's not nice to feel discarded but it happens. I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you.

·

Whoever discarded Lord Nero is a fool. "

I offered you a bonk but you rejected me. I blame you Au Tism™.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I was talking to a chap yesterday who had arranged a 2nd meet, he drove from Portsmouth to Devon and got stood up. That's not on at all. Takes nothing to drop a message "

I usually nip that in the bud quite quickly and shut down people who live far away. It's unrealistic with all the responsibilities all of us adults have...especially those of us above age 35... Might have more free time and energy in your 20s but at my age I like being home...alone..just to get a break from...life.

I advise the men and women not to travel and commute more than an hour for cock or pussy.

Road closures, traffic jams, train delays and cancellations, flight delays and cancellations and people cancellations put me in a very unsexy mood.

So much I'm planning to cycle to one of my paramours this evening...short of a serious accident ( I cycle at snail's pace). I do get a perverse satisfaction whizzing past traffic and not being cooped up in a train.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan 5 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't….."

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Long story short some guys are dicks. They message and arrange stuff when horny and back out when there clear headed. Some women do it toom"

Unfortunately not gender specific at all. I've heard some horror stories from the LGBTQIA peeps.

Not cute and demure behaviour at all.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan 5 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance."

It was sarcasm, and posted for humour.

Don’t worry about it if you didn’t pick up on it.

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By *allipygousMan 5 weeks ago

Leicester

Bad breath, off-putting smelly fanny, crap oral technique, no sense of humour, unpleasant personality. These are just some of the reasons I can think of off the top of my head for ghosting someone, no matter how physically attractive they appear on their profile.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan 5 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

"

Personally I wish there were more of them that 'make it bad for the rest of us' because the rest of us would complete Fab.

Bad people make it bad for themselves.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"There is no point in sour grapes, I block people so that I don’t forget and message them again."

Same. I also put a note so I don't unblock them!!

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By *aron Van WinkleMan 5 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Personally I wish there were more of them that 'make it bad for the rest of us' because the rest of us would complete Fab.

Bad people make it bad for themselves."

I don’t need asshole next to make me look good.

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By *sianflowerWoman 5 weeks ago

DollyWood


"I've no issues with people ignoring messages. Women get a ton so I wouldn't take it personally at all if I were you, but I mean when you have spent time with a person and they abruptly stop contact. "

It’s that abruptness the feeling of being left cold to some extent feeling used. It’s happened several times to me and it doesn’t get any easier to deal with.

As someone else has recommended I try to limit it happening my trying to make sure I know what the other person is about getting a clear indication of their intention but inevitably people can lie. OP I’m sorry this happened hopefully in the future you won’t experience it again.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Don't take anything personal ever!

Me over here with a personality disorder: um...everything is personal with me. Lol!

BPD/EUPD =

Autism SD =

PTSD =

Yeah, I spend a lot of time talking myself off a mental ledge because some part of my brain took something personal. MF'ers. ( my brain parts not other people) Lol!

Autism here. Fuckin great aint it "

I'm still trying to figure it out...sadly...only diagnosed a year ago.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection...

You don't, or at least with great difficulty when everything you had with that person transcended so many meaningful levels, with the expectation of continuity. I think aside from pondering and mulling things over it's really a case of letting time heal. A 'root cause' analysis just leaves you with more unanswered questions.

It's not nice to feel discarded but it happens. I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you.

·

Whoever discarded Lord Nero is a fool.

I offered you a bonk but you rejected me. I blame you Au Tism™. "

Wait when was this rejection?! Might have been the club hurdle..many people fall at this hurdle. Lol!

It's for your own safety and protection! There are people there who know what to do if I go catatonic...

nearly went that way last night. Ended up in the recovery position and it wasn't due to alcohol... the alcohol might have been more fun.

Re-match? Lol!

At this stage it could be any one of my conditions..I forget to buckle my cycle helmet.....far more severe consequences than failure to message.

A comic tragedy is my life.

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By *edSirenWoman 5 weeks ago

magic mountain


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

"

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"There are so many different ways to do this site and none of them are right or wrong. In an ideal world, everybody would be upfront about what they’re looking for - completely no strings one offs, friends with benefits, relationships, etc.

It falls down when people aren’t honest, either about what they’re looking for or their intentions going forward. That’s one thing that can make this site difficult.

OP it’s not easy, but I think it’s best to think of it as you weren’t looking for the same thing. I’d definitely recommend good boundaries - as others have said, he may well come back at a later date and want to pick up where you left off and that’s where you need to determine if you’re genuinely ok with that or not.

L"

Good advice.

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By *egnMaxCouple 5 weeks ago

Nottingham

I think honesty and decency cost nothing (even when up to indecent things!) 😈

It only takes a moment to tell people the truth, whatever is going on.

So I feel your pain, but as others have said, see it as a bullet dodged and move on.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"As I'm the worst at messaging ever, people probably think I ghost them, just sometimes I'm not in a place for conversation.

I do think not your unique situation but in general people expect a lot from you on fab, I'll log on and not look at my messages for a week or so but I'll scroll the forums and that seems to piss people off.

My time is precious and if I don't have enough to carry a decent conversation then I won't look at my messages until I do.

I'll go weeks sometimes months between messages because fab just isn't that high on my priorities, my family, work, life all come 1st."

This resonates with me..... sometimes I do put how many unread messages I have but I also let people know I'm not here to chat for long periods in my inbox.

My health is my number 1 priority and it's kicking me in the teeth right now so They with accept it and we get on or they find someone...more healthy /less disabled? I only have so many spoons in a day and when they are gone they are done.

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By *ad NannaWoman 5 weeks ago

East London

I never expect anything from men on here. If they stop messaging, regardless of how good we are getting on, I delete their number and get on with the important things in my life.

I don't expect anyone to want to see me a second, third, fourth, etc time. Not even from dating sites.

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By *ad NannaWoman 5 weeks ago

East London


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender. "

I've met men from all walks of life, with many different characters. Regardless of who they are, they just want uncomplicated sex. Sometimes, life gets busy, or they find a girlfriend in real life, or they find someone better than me. It's not my choices, it's theirs.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"OP I feel your pain. I’ve had numerous mess abouts on this site. From meets with couples that after I ask to be verified as it shows I’m genuine to my reply I get blocked. Or will be chatting away getting on well, even had cam sessions but when it comes to organising for a meet, guess what I get ghosted with no explanation.

The worse for me was a couple I was speaking with, spoke a few times on phone/cam and they seemed so genuine. We had spoken for weeks about the fun but when it came to me travelling 60 miles there to the agreed social location, guess what they blocked me.

Nothing surprises me on here anymore. I also find you now get a lot of OF or SC wannabes on here to get attention. It’s a shame as for the few that are genuine you just get overlooked or messed about.

Stay positive OP you’re a very attractive lady. I’m sure guys will definitely be winking you lol "

I've come to realise that a lot of people talk a good game but when it come to actual action: doing what they say and saying what they mean....it's damn near impossible for them.

I should know I was married to one. Lol!

Also I was one who never could say what I meant Lol!...because I didn't know myself what things meant (basically I lived a life mindlessly instead of mindfully)

So now I don't spend a lot of time talking to people who I haven't met in real life. I chat enough to organise a meet and then I go off and meet them. It's simplified my process and cut out any possibility of being strung along..emotionally or sexually.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"It happens OP. Life does get in the way sometimes. Or maybe he got caught out. Or maybe he felt you wanted more than he could give. Or maybe there are a host of other reasons. My advice would be to try to not read too much into it - I know other will disagree but I don’t think Fab is a dating site and people just come and go.

Respectfully, the only thing that gets in the way of meaningful communication is cowardice.

"

My autistic perimenopausal brain: Cowardice hold my beer and watch me work to fuck up her communication.

Dammit!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Personally I wish there were more of them that 'make it bad for the rest of us' because the rest of us would complete Fab.

Bad people make it bad for themselves."

my autistic brain: There's good, bad and ugly....anyway look at that cute doggy over there.

yeah my brain is going to do what it wants to do, so I spend very little time thinking about how other people are making it bad for me or themselves. Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Personally I wish there were more of them that 'make it bad for the rest of us' because the rest of us would complete Fab.

Bad people make it bad for themselves.

I don’t need asshole next to make me look good.

"

Well my brain went to anal with talk of arseholes...

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By *edSirenWoman 5 weeks ago

magic mountain


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender.

I've met men from all walks of life, with many different characters. Regardless of who they are, they just want uncomplicated sex. Sometimes, life gets busy, or they find a girlfriend in real life, or they find someone better than me. It's not my choices, it's theirs.

"

Exactly. Nobody owes anyone an explanation of why they’ve chosen to disappear. And certainly nobody is responsible for representing the entire gender in any decision they make. Let that time with them be a nice memory and don’t tar it with overthinking 🙂

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By *ene FairfaxMan 5 weeks ago

Dover


"I never expect anything from men on here. If they stop messaging, regardless of how good we are getting on, I delete their number and get on with the important things in my life.

I don't expect anyone to want to see me a second, third, fourth, etc time. Not even from dating sites."

I know what you mean and it does happen. Not something I have done after a meet as I am too much of a gentleman. But has been done to me, put it down to life's challenges and you just move on

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By *eroLondonMan 5 weeks ago

Mayfair


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance.

·

It was sarcasm, and posted for humour.

Don’t worry about it if you didn’t pick up on it. "

I picked up on your sarcasm. The other person who quoted you didn't. I was replying to them.

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By *eroLondonMan 5 weeks ago

Mayfair


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it."

·

The day when other men ruin it for me on here will be the day I leave Fab.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I've no issues with people ignoring messages. Women get a ton so I wouldn't take it personally at all if I were you, but I mean when you have spent time with a person and they abruptly stop contact.

It’s that abruptness the feeling of being left cold to some extent feeling used. It’s happened several times to me and it doesn’t get any easier to deal with.

As someone else has recommended I try to limit it happening my trying to make sure I know what the other person is about getting a clear indication of their intention but inevitably people can lie. OP I’m sorry this happened hopefully in the future you won’t experience it again. "

I've come to the realisation that not everyone can fulfill all of my needs.

Hence while I have a massive support network and also no-one person carries the burden of meeting all of my ridiculous needs. Lol! Needs are not ridiculous but I could do without a lot of the ones I have.

My paramours fulfill my intimacy needs but they don't need to meet my emotional needs or connection needs.

So I view the time we spend together as me using them for intimacy and they using me for intimacy and it's a mutual benefit.

I get the "feeling used" but I more prone to thinking about what I actually got out of something/an interaction with someone...not sure why...blame the autism...Lol!

I wonder if feeling used is when you put a lot of effort into something ( physical, emotional, etc..) but do not feel like you got a similar amount of enough back? Definitely a deeper disappointment there.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender. "

We all need an asshole filter...brain is still thinking about anal. apologies.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan 5 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

It's a fine balance. I have had a meet after a great build up and seen pictures, not overly outrageous flirting but really good, interesting chat.

We met and there was very little attraction at all. She didn't resemble the person in the picture or chat. Nerves or not (and I would like to consider myself as someone who is super chilled and can relax anyone (without chloroform)).

I carried on the social in my normal chirpy self knowing though that I didn't want to pursue.

She probably read this wrong and kept the messages going where I just wanted to bail out. I told her there was no connection but she thought there was. I then told her that she wasn't for me. She had a full embolism.

It would have been easier to have frowned on the social (too difficult), cut it short pointing to my watch and muttering Auntie Beryl's funeral and ghost her later on.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I never expect anything from men on here. If they stop messaging, regardless of how good we are getting on, I delete their number and get on with the important things in my life.

I don't expect anyone to want to see me a second, third, fourth, etc time. Not even from dating sites."

There's a guy I met several times who ghosted me...but I know who he is and how he has several things on his plate and that straight men ( or socialised straight) in general have a problem expressing themselves... I know this from sitting in a support group with men for the last 11 years. We ( peers and psychologists) have to literally very uncomfortably, force it out of them.

I don't hold it against the guy because I know my communication isn't perfect either! Not by a long shot.

I haven't blocked him because I don't find him offensive..I just know that he is struggling mentally and physically and I have close friends and peers who are going through the same thing. I know that I can't expect them to be fully present.

It's harder when you don't know a person.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan 5 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

·

The day when other men ruin it for me on here will be the day I leave Fab.

"

I’m sure you’ll be fine.

But men do give women an image of how men behave on Fab or other social media sites and in some ways when swing is face to face.

It wouldn’t, and not everyone, so those of us that are given the chance to present ourselves with no preconceptions are lucky.

A lot of men are swept away before we can say hello, because of the last interaction that pushed that woman over the edge and they though - all men can fuck off!’

And I repeat, it’s not just the men that do this, women do too.

But going back to the post, ghosting… I assume they ghost me before we say hello. Haha.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender.

I've met men from all walks of life, with many different characters. Regardless of who they are, they just want uncomplicated sex. Sometimes, life gets busy, or they find a girlfriend in real life, or they find someone better than me. It's not my choices, it's theirs.

"

True. my friend with benefits has a girlfriend. I'm glad he has one because I can't be his or anyone else girlfriend due to spending most of my time looking after my health or recovering from when it takes a nose dive. yeah there are healthier people than me and if that's what people want/need I can't hold that against them.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"..As Baron said.. It's definitely their loss!

You would certainly be getting a message back from me 🙂. 👋

It's not their loss. When people resort to disingenuous clichés such as this they really don't have much to offer in way of substance.

·

It was sarcasm, and posted for humour.

Don’t worry about it if you didn’t pick up on it.

I picked up on your sarcasm. The other person who quoted you didn't. I was replying to them."

Me getting none of the sarcasm or non-sarcasm.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan 5 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole

I did think our interactions influence how we interact with the next person down the line.

Those that have strung me along make me less enthusiastic with the next person. That type of thing.

Right or wrong, it’s there.

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By *exxyyDy11Man 5 weeks ago

North West

Unfortunately it happens, it isn't your fault but it can bother you. I've been rejected a few times and it is what it is. Had radio silence too.

Sometimes it is my own fault for coming on too quickly I think. And stuff. But humans are complex and sometimes some can't be honest and open with you. So they withdraw. In a perfect world we'd all be amicable with each other and say goodbye on good terms.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"It's a fine balance. I have had a meet after a great build up and seen pictures, not overly outrageous flirting but really good, interesting chat.

We met and there was very little attraction at all. She didn't resemble the person in the picture or chat. Nerves or not (and I would like to consider myself as someone who is super chilled and can relax anyone (without chloroform)).

I carried on the social in my normal chirpy self knowing though that I didn't want to pursue.

She probably read this wrong and kept the messages going where I just wanted to bail out. I told her there was no connection but she thought there was. I then told her that she wasn't for me. She had a full embolism.

It would have been easier to have frowned on the social (too difficult), cut it short pointing to my watch and muttering Auntie Beryl's funeral and ghost her later on. "

my autistic brain: *screams* at the entire plot. extra uncomfy.

Did you have to call an ambulance for the embolism?

I totally get men ghosting because who wants to deal with an unexpected meltdown from something simple as saying there's no connection, no compatibility, no spark.

This is coming from person who has regular meltdowns/episodes and watches people leg it. Apologies for my uncontrolled brain.

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By *GentlemanMan 5 weeks ago

Worcester

That sounds incredibly frustrating, and I’m sorry you were left hanging like that.

Sadly, ghosting does seem more common than it should be, even among people who pride themselves on being grown-ups. But I wouldn’t see it as a reflection on you. The fact he couldn’t even offer a simple, respectful message says more about him than anything you might’ve done.

You showed up, were present, and enjoyed the time together — that’s all anyone can do. If he’s revisiting your profile but not engaging, that’s either hesitation or a game, neither of which you should have to guess at.

It stings, I know. But the right people will show you clearly that they see you — and value your presence.

Keep being you. The right connections are out there — and they won’t leave you wondering.

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By *edSirenWoman 5 weeks ago

magic mountain


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender.

We all need an asshole filter...brain is still thinking about anal. apologies."

You filter your anus? Well there’s a thread of its own 😉

But yeah. Why waste energy on someone and something that isn’t right for you? Move on with dignity and find the next adventure 🙂

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By *ansoffateMan 5 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I would look at that as a blessing in disguise, I really don't want to get involved with someone who hasn't got the courage to say what needs to be said. It's far too much unnecessary drama for me.

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By *lippynippledoggy69Couple 5 weeks ago

Newton Aycliffe

Possibly a girlfriend or wife that doesn’t know about his fab exploits so they avoid anything regular

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By *elaninMaverickWoman 5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m well aware some men on here make it bad for the rest of us...

No they don't…..

Yes they do. (Kind of) but it also works for women, some women make me wary of speaking to women in the future.

A lot of people tar with the same brush, it happens and we get used to it.

Rubbish. If someone is an asshole (man or woman), I see that as THEIR issue, not the entire gender’s. If I find that there’s a repeated pattern, I would question myself and why I am attracting a certain calibre, than again blaming the entire gender.

We all need an asshole filter...brain is still thinking about anal. apologies.

You filter your anus? Well there’s a thread of its own 😉

But yeah. Why waste energy on someone and something that isn’t right for you? Move on with dignity and find the next adventure 🙂"

Lol! Autism communication problem

By asshole filter I meant setting firm boundaries so that it puts off most assholes. Lol! A form of self-protection/self-defence. I'm learning now that I need a lot of psychological self-defence...not just from men.....

you know those female friends who always drag you into some sort of drama? lol! Yeah those ones.... run for the hills!!

Exhibit A: Goes with lesbian friend for moral support to a lesbian vanilla non-play chill pub social and meetup. Lesbian friend feel awkward and starts drinking. Everyone is going home...lesbian friend clearly intoxicated now wants to go to a nightclub to chase pussy....battle to get lesbian friend back on the tube to own borough and get called boring and "no fun". A few days later lesbian friends says they were not d*unk.

hard boundary: only going out with lesbian friend with other mutual friends so I can leave her in someone else's care while I leg it. Lol!

Hard boundaries: block all single men. Lol!

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By *ife NinjaMan 5 weeks ago

Dunfermline

These days, we're all expendable and disposable when the other party has extracted all they need from you 😬

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By *ogmark1Man 5 weeks ago

Reading

Costs nothing to say I'm not feeling it or it's just fizzled out

Anyway OP I am more than sure it It is his loss

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By *ucka39Man 5 weeks ago

Newcastle

With a pinch of salt remembering that sites like this is only part of your life should you let it

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By *ojangles69Woman 5 weeks ago

Milton Keynes


"I would look at that as a blessing in disguise, I really don't want to get involved with someone who hasn't got the courage to say what needs to be said. It's far too much unnecessary drama for me."

This for sure! ^^^

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By *antassack889Man 5 weeks ago

Hertfordshire

Can't win them all lol if you don't get a reply move on why pester someone who isn't interested? Lol

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 5 weeks ago

Reading

By having someone else to focus on.

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By *w funwifeWoman 5 weeks ago

near taunton

looking for men on here for me is just a extra i dont trust or belive anyone unless proven in real time 95% or more of guys on fab just want a wet hole and when they want it not one of my regulats /meet more than once guys has come from fab my phone book is full of men women and couples mainly from swing club meets / normal nights/day out or the LGBYQ scene thats my meets our meets hubs meets.

finding regular online is nearly impossible when you add in attraction/same page .

to susceed on this scene you should never put all you eggs in one basket.

rejection is pary of the scene if its hard to deal with then maybe your not really cut out for this after all thats the message most ram fown guys ear holes and is correct select/reject is the scene

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By *uke_silverMan 5 weeks ago

London


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

"

Badly. This is definitely worse than early rejection, which is already disappointing. I guess you can get better at coping if it happens multiple times, but honestly, I don't want to be that jaded guy - it's worse for me and whoever I may want to talk to in the future. This leads me to avoid engaging preemptively, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so 🤷


"

And I always think did I do something wrong?"

Always. I'll spend time trying to pinpoint what I did wrong even though it's never obvious and perhaps non-existent. Oh well, only concrete thing I can do is not do it myself.

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By *ustardCream88Man 5 weeks ago

Manchester

Just get over it. Just like it's a woman's prerogative, it's a guys as well.

I'd probably state that you are a bit more into aftercare at the start.

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By *issmorganWoman 5 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I tend to think many on here, are on the look out for the next meet etc.

Try not to take it to heart op, he may be busy or he may have moved on.

If you've messaged and he hasn't replied, I'd just delete the message and try not to give it another thought.

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman 5 weeks ago

.


"I tend to think many on here, are on the look out for the next meet etc. yeah I think many just like the chase of women on here!

Try not to take it to heart op, he may be busy or he may have moved on.

If you've messaged and he hasn't replied, I'd just delete the message and try not to give it another thought. "

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By *oughmanMan 5 weeks ago

Sunderland

It's just something you have to shrug your shoulders and let go. You've just got to think it's their loss.

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By *ikeC81Man 5 weeks ago

harrow

As someone who’s real life gets in the way often - football - I often think I will get back to someone then don’t, next thing it has been a month if not more

It’s hard sometime, I am not intentionally ghosting people and I know sometimes people don’t get back to me, as they are busy well. It’s just life

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By *andTWoman 5 weeks ago

Altrincham

I met someone on another platform, chatted daily for weeks, I went on holiday and we still chatted frequently, flew home and I messaged to say I'd landed... Was dropped like a hot stone, absolutely nothing

.. Yes it stung a bit, was pistoff for a full couple of minutes

Fast forward 6mths, aforementioned person pops up on another platform with excuses as to why they treated me like they did.

I was polite and articulate, explained I'd found what I was looking for and very happy doing what I'm doing

I actually wanted to rip them a new one but they weren't worth the energy - I'd rather channel that energy in making myself, my husband and my boyfriend happy 😈

In short, fckem, you're gorgeous, you'll find someone better 😘

.

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple 5 weeks ago

Swansea


"How do you cope with the feeling of rejection after you thought you were getting on well?

I had 2 meets with a guy, I felt like we had 2 really good nights. Was in regular contact after first meet but after 2nd he didn't message. I sent one in the evening and he ignored me so I left it at that. Is this standard behaviour? I get we aren't forming a relationship but it just feels a bit cold to me And I always think did I do something wrong? Even more puzzling when you notice they have looked at your profile after."

It can appear cold to some people but to others it's not cold, just is what it is.

I understand many people here really enjoy the constant messaging as you build up before a meet. However that communication style isn't for me.

Also, the thrill ebbs away. Whether this is after one meet or more. I am guilty of this, in fact it's extremely easy for me to walk away. For me, it's been lovely and I enjoyed myself, and I am ready to get back into my normal life until the craving for naughtiness sparks up between my husband and I.

I very rarely return to the same person for pleasure. Although we have returned to a lady when she is in a relationship or hosting a private party. This way the extra people add a new level of excitement.

Some may think my mindset is cold, it's not in my opinion. I am not looking for intimate friendships, I am not looking for a pen pal or someone to share daily updates with, I am not looking for a FWB or FB, or potential partner. I have a beautiful marriage and want completely uncomplicated no strings attached sex with similar minded people.

Getting back to the OP. I am sorry that the experience you have had ended in a negative way for you. But that doesn't mean the experience was negative for the other person, quite probably the opposite. It's just how two people view the same situation in different ways. I also don't agree with all the white knighting and his loss comments. Nobody owes anyone anything, it's not bad manners to simply end communication.

Your question about how to deal with the feeling of rejection. You may not have been rejected by the other person, it's you that has labelled it as rejection based on what you perceived his actions to mean. My advice would be to recognise within yourself the balance of protecting your feelings. You may then enjoy the moment for what it is... great sex and nothing more.

Take care

Mrs

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman 5 weeks ago

Manchester

I've come to realise many people on fab just love the thrill of the chase and the "meeting new people/having new sex" energy and aren't looking for anything regular. And there's nothing wrong with that if you're aware that's what they want, but if you aren't aware it can be a bit of a blow if you were hoping to see then again.

Don't take it personally, it's likely nothing you've done. It's just how they like to operate.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 4 weeks ago

South Molton

Yeah possibly, was a bit full on at 1st saying he would meet anytime.. always free for me etc... said I was so much hotter in person.. then ghost after 2nd meet lol

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 4 weeks ago

South Molton

What I find very difficult is I'm upfront with people and say from the off that I'm looking for a regular meet as 1 offs generally for women are pointless, I'm not going to get full sexual pleasure from a 1st time fumble with someone.. and of course they always say yes me too.. I'm not interested in fing my way through fab..then most of the time wham bam thank you mam never hear from them again. One guy said all this then on the meet turned out he lives in a camper van and had no intention of seeing me again.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 4 weeks ago

South Molton

People do that, it took me 7 months to get an actual meet. I spoke to quite a few who were just time wasters,Lots are married and it's just an escape to swap sexy pics, some are totally fake using pictures they found on Google, some enjoy the thought of meeting but when ut comes to it they lose their bottle. I don't really think of them as ghosting just wasting time. I mean when someone has met you and they just stop talking.

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 4 weeks ago

South Molton

Well he told me I tasted nice and he cum when I sucked him off so couldn't have been that horrible for him

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple 4 weeks ago

Swansea

OP use reply and quote when responding to particular replies. Otherwise we don't know who you're answering

Mrs

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By *ora the explorerWoman 4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

It’s never happened to me (yet) but must admit I think it would really really piss me off.

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By *lanbstardMan 4 weeks ago

Northampton


"I was talking to a chap yesterday who had arranged a 2nd meet, he drove from Portsmouth to Devon and got stood up. That's not on at all. Takes nothing to drop a message "

That's happened to me too. Very keen then stood me up and blocked me everywhere. It takes a second to say "sorry, I've changed my mind". I think some people prefer the build-up rather than the actual meet.

Having looked at your pictures OP, it's DEFINITELY his loss

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By *urves and MischiefWoman 4 weeks ago

North West mainly. Sometimes London/SouthWest

I fortunately haven’t experienced being stood up but I am pretty emotionless when it comes to cutting people off. If communication changes, especially after meeting someone I will back off massively. Always other options 😁

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 4 weeks ago

South Molton

I deleted his number and conversation when he didn't reply. No drama from me just quiet dissapointment

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By *immers123 OP   Woman 4 weeks ago

South Molton


"OP use reply and quote when responding to particular replies. Otherwise we don't know who you're answering

Mrs"

Oh ok I'm new to this sorry I didn't see that option just hit reply

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