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Ignored messages
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By *bi HaiveMan 12 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
The Chinese restaurant in the village i live in never complains that I bin the takeaway menus they pay to be dropped through my letterbox without me phoning them to tell them I don't like Chinese food. 🤷♂️ |
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This is brought up almost daily op.Its not rude not to respond.
If someone reads my profile, I'll respond, even if it's a no thanks. If they don't or they have a blank profile I won't.
No reply means no thanks.
You'll find fab easier if you delete your sent items, then any reply is a nice suprise. |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
Why? We didn't ask for the message, you unsolicitedly sent someone who didn't ask for it a message & you think you are somehow entitled to a reply, that it's bad manners if not?
It's not bad manners, no reply = no thank you.
You aren't entitled to a reply because you choose to message someone, they didn't ask you to. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 12 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
Hi OP
It’s frustrating learning how this place works isn’t it? You’ve been here a month which isn’t really very long so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.
You’ve spotted a profile you like the look of and you send a message.
Logically to you it would be polite to respond to that message even if it’s a no- thanks. Right?
The thing is there are a lot of things to take into account here.
1. You sent an unsolicited message, that’s the most basic thing. They are under no obligation to respond to you even if it’s a simple no thanks. The site rules state as much.
2. Guys here outnumber women and couples by rather a large margin. This means your message isn’t the only one they’ve got. Potentially they’ve had over 100 such unsolicited messages. They’re going to need a PA to respond to every single one with a no thank you.
3. Many of us have experienced abuse and threatening behaviour by saying no thanks to someone. It happens daily. It’s much easier to just delete or leave it unread than it is to reply and risk a torrent of abuse (and yes before anyone mentions it I’m aware women and couples can be just as nasty).
4. I’m assuming you’ve definitely read their profile and what they’re looking for, checked that you’re within the right age and gender etc? Because chancing it just because you like their pics is a guaranteed way not to get a reply
5. The simple fact is that for 99% of profiles there won’t be a mutual attraction. That’s life.
Carry on shooting your shot but delete your sent box, that way when you do get a reply it’s a nice surprise instead of checking to see if anyone has read them.
Good luck |
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"Why do these people insist that we should dedicate our time to people who aren’t what we’re looking for? I thought we were here for us, not the benefit of others? Am I doing it wrong? "
.
Stop being so picky and reply to everyone  |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Why? We didn't ask for the message, you unsolicitedly sent someone who didn't ask for it a message & you think you are somehow entitled to a reply, that it's bad manners if not?
It's not bad manners, no reply = no thank you.
You aren't entitled to a reply because you choose to message someone, they didn't ask you to."
This |
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Our profile is quite clear about what we are looking for. We get countless messages daily from people who clearly haven’t read it. If they can’t be bothered to read, then I can’t be bothered to respond to tell them how wrong they have it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Hi OP
It’s frustrating learning how this place works isn’t it? You’ve been here a month which isn’t really very long so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.
You’ve spotted a profile you like the look of and you send a message.
Logically to you it would be polite to respond to that message even if it’s a no- thanks. Right?
The thing is there are a lot of things to take into account here.
1. You sent an unsolicited message, that’s the most basic thing. They are under no obligation to respond to you even if it’s a simple no thanks. The site rules state as much.
2. Guys here outnumber women and couples by rather a large margin. This means your message isn’t the only one they’ve got. Potentially they’ve had over 100 such unsolicited messages. They’re going to need a PA to respond to every single one with a no thank you.
3. Many of us have experienced abuse and threatening behaviour by saying no thanks to someone. It happens daily. It’s much easier to just delete or leave it unread than it is to reply and risk a torrent of abuse (and yes before anyone mentions it I’m aware women and couples can be just as nasty).
4. I’m assuming you’ve definitely read their profile and what they’re looking for, checked that you’re within the right age and gender etc? Because chancing it just because you like their pics is a guaranteed way not to get a reply
5. The simple fact is that for 99% of profiles there won’t be a mutual attraction. That’s life.
Carry on shooting your shot but delete your sent box, that way when you do get a reply it’s a nice surprise instead of checking to see if anyone has read them.
Good luck "
That was very nicely explained 👌 |
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I think we’ve all tried the polite reply with a ‘no thanks’ at the beginning and found not only was it time consuming but it opens a conversation that’ you don’t want to have that can then sometimes lead to abuse!
We use the no reply is a no thanks rule as it’s far easier for us and I think a lot of people probably do the same. It’s not rude just easier and for us the more sensible option xx |
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By *vaRoseWoman 12 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Hi OP
It’s frustrating learning how this place works isn’t it? You’ve been here a month which isn’t really very long so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.
You’ve spotted a profile you like the look of and you send a message.
Logically to you it would be polite to respond to that message even if it’s a no- thanks. Right?
The thing is there are a lot of things to take into account here.
1. You sent an unsolicited message, that’s the most basic thing. They are under no obligation to respond to you even if it’s a simple no thanks. The site rules state as much.
2. Guys here outnumber women and couples by rather a large margin. This means your message isn’t the only one they’ve got. Potentially they’ve had over 100 such unsolicited messages. They’re going to need a PA to respond to every single one with a no thank you.
3. Many of us have experienced abuse and threatening behaviour by saying no thanks to someone. It happens daily. It’s much easier to just delete or leave it unread than it is to reply and risk a torrent of abuse (and yes before anyone mentions it I’m aware women and couples can be just as nasty).
4. I’m assuming you’ve definitely read their profile and what they’re looking for, checked that you’re within the right age and gender etc? Because chancing it just because you like their pics is a guaranteed way not to get a reply
5. The simple fact is that for 99% of profiles there won’t be a mutual attraction. That’s life.
Carry on shooting your shot but delete your sent box, that way when you do get a reply it’s a nice surprise instead of checking to see if anyone has read them.
Good luck
That was very nicely explained 👌"
I’m in a good mood and feeling nice for a change 😝 |
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"Why do these people insist that we should dedicate our time to people who aren’t what we’re looking for? I thought we were here for us, not the benefit of others? Am I doing it wrong? .
Stop being so picky and reply to everyone "
Just resigned so the new strategy can start tomorrow 😂 |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
I find it most ignorant that someone should assume they're entitled to my time and energy just because they want it 💜 |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
A message gets ignored by one person.
Just imagine the amount of people that are ignoring this thread! |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing. nobody has to reply to you "
think most woman be on Block button |
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I assume your messaging women.
Women get 100s of messages a day, so you know how much time it would take to respond no thanks to every message.
Add to that no thanks usually ends in one of two ways, they argue with you to convince you otherwise, or they call you names.
Easier to ignore and move on half the time.
No response is a response. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
Whilst we agree OP good manners cost nothing.
Having said that reading a profile and respecting its contents also costs nothing.
Our profile specifically say we are not looking for single guys. Yet 95% of all the messages we recive are from single guys.
If we are polite in our reply we are being passive aggresive, if we are blunt we get told we are rude or we get reported.
Simple answer do nothing and delete.
Hope that helps OP
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By *woMatesCouple (MM) 4 weeks ago
Maldon |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
All too common. Apparently, if memory is right, the site says that not responding is not rude, just that people get so many messages that responding to everyone is not possible.
Had one couple that said " Fab our photos gets our attention". So fab a few of their photos and got ignored. |
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By *woMatesCouple (MM) 4 weeks ago
Maldon |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Whilst we agree OP good manners cost nothing.
Having said that reading a profile and respecting its contents also costs nothing.
Our profile specifically say we are not looking for single guys. Yet 95% of all the messages we recive are from single guys.
If we are polite in our reply we are being passive aggresive, if we are blunt we get told we are rude or we get reported.
Simple answer do nothing and delete.
Hope that helps OP
"
Agree with that, if the message goes against your profile. When your message aligns with a profile and you don't a reply, what then? |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Whilst we agree OP good manners cost nothing.
Having said that reading a profile and respecting its contents also costs nothing.
Our profile specifically say we are not looking for single guys. Yet 95% of all the messages we recive are from single guys.
If we are polite in our reply we are being passive aggresive, if we are blunt we get told we are rude or we get reported.
Simple answer do nothing and delete.
Hope that helps OP
Agree with that, if the message goes against your profile. When your message aligns with a profile and you don't a reply, what then?"
They still aren't interested. |
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Most of the message i get are from people who clearly didn’t read my profile, are vulgar or rude. If I reply with a polite no thank you i get abused back so it’s just easier to delete the message,
No one owes anyone a response on here. |
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"Most of the message i get are from people who clearly didn’t read my profile, are vulgar or rude. If I reply with a polite no thank you i get abused back so it’s just easier to delete the message,
No one owes anyone a response on here. "
•
Fiiine, I'm going to message you now with a handcrafted and unsolicited missive. Keep an êyê out, your lådyship. |
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The never ending cry of the assuming.
Some think not getting a reply renders the reciever bad mannered.
I think sending a message without being asked for one is undisputeably rude.
There.
The end of this debate for once and forever .......
DO NOT SEND A MESSAGE UNLESS THE PERSON HAS ASKED YOU TO FIRST.  |
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I agree that a no reply means no thank you. What I think OP is asking about is the unread messages.
Now he has only been here a month but I know women have filters in to show read or unread… but I kind of get it…
Show messages as read if no reply then move on… 100% agree
My take on this is that how do guys know if your messages has been read and is a no reply… or been bulk deleted and said lady might actually like the guy but has a pile of dick picks and just bulk deletes…
They are both missing out..
I’m not saying reply to every message.. but try and help guys out a little (if you can)
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"Most of the message i get are from people who clearly didn’t read my profile, are vulgar or rude. If I reply with a polite no thank you i get abused back so it’s just easier to delete the message,
No one owes anyone a response on here.
•
Fiiine, I'm going to message you now with a handcrafted and unsolicited missive. Keep an êyê out, your lådyship."
As long as you’ve clearly read my profile first. |
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By *woMatesCouple (MM) 4 weeks ago
Maldon |
"The never ending cry of the assuming.
Some think not getting a reply renders the reciever bad mannered.
I think sending a message without being asked for one is undisputeably rude.
So how is a message started? If you need a message to say message, then the first message was sent without a request to send it in the first place. Unless mistaken by what you wrote.
There.
The end of this debate for once and forever .......
DO NOT SEND A MESSAGE UNLESS THE PERSON HAS ASKED YOU TO FIRST. "
|
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
i was just going to ignore this message "
8 weeks to come up with that reply to someone no longer on the site.  |
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Ffs..what do single guys expect!
We get 60 plus unsolicited 'hi's' or 'fancy a shag', every day.
Unfortunately we can't afford a personal assistant to reply to each and every one.
So if you don't get a reply,take it that we're not interested.
Simple as that. |
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When you get to my age, I compare messaging to like trying to arrange a gang bang. If you send out 40 messages, and you get 4 actual replies which generates 2 get togethers, then you've had a damn good result. I've also compared messaging to like playing a bandit in a social club, if you keep playing long enough you're bound to hit the jackpot eventually. Think positive!!! |
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"I agree that a no reply means no thank you. What I think OP is asking about is the unread messages.
Now he has only been here a month but I know women have filters in to show read or unread… but I kind of get it…
Show messages as read if no reply then move on… 100% agree
My take on this is that how do guys know if your messages has been read and is a no reply… or been bulk deleted and said lady might actually like the guy but has a pile of dick picks and just bulk deletes…
They are both missing out..
I’m not saying reply to every message.. but try and help guys out a little (if you can)
"
If it's read and deleted there's a line through it in your sent box. That's how you know to delete and move on  |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special "
Depends on how many messages I receive
When you wake up and have 42 new messages that’s a lot to go through and reply
I’m glad I blocked makes from messaging or the 42 this morning would be three times that
Although it does make it easier when cpls and females haven’t read the first line of my profile too |
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By *eyeYCouple 4 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special "
But vice versa, you respond to said compliment with thanks and it's often taken as a green light.. 🤷 |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special "
If they reply they have no idea you’re not going to give them abuse or continue a conversation. How would they know that?
Also… and more importantly… once you reply to someone even if you block / filter out single men from messaging, that doesn’t apply to that person.
You aren’t entitled to a reply and a compliment should be given without the expectation of a reply. Otherwise it’s not really a heartfelt compliment.
Entitled? Much. Namaste 🌈 |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
If they reply they have no idea you’re not going to give them abuse or continue a conversation. How would they know that?
Also… and more importantly… once you reply to someone even if you block / filter out single men from messaging, that doesn’t apply to that person.
You aren’t entitled to a reply and a compliment should be given without the expectation of a reply. Otherwise it’s not really a heartfelt compliment.
Entitled? Much. Namaste 🌈"
That's a nice smile Namaste |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
If they reply they have no idea you’re not going to give them abuse or continue a conversation. How would they know that?
Also… and more importantly… once you reply to someone even if you block / filter out single men from messaging, that doesn’t apply to that person.
You aren’t entitled to a reply and a compliment should be given without the expectation of a reply. Otherwise it’s not really a heartfelt compliment.
Entitled? Much. Namaste 🌈"
Theres a hugggeeee difference between a message been read, and one not being opened, to
Send a compliment randomly
To a couple you randomly
Come across, deserves a thank you, or even a smiley face, entitled is bull crap, its called commons decency, if someone gives you abuse after a compliment, them thats just abnormal behaviour 😂if someone compliments me, man or woman, I’ll
Say thank you and leave it there, it’s called respect, we are all adults , so to expect to not be ignored, is not entitled im the slightest |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
But vice versa, you respond to said compliment with thanks and it's often taken as a green light.. 🤷"
I disagree, after the first initial response, you don’t need to reply 🤦♂️ |
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By *eyeYCouple 4 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
But vice versa, you respond to said compliment with thanks and it's often taken as a green light.. 🤷
I disagree, after the first initial response, you don’t need to reply 🤦♂️"
So you respond to every unsolicited email even if it's inapplicable or you are uninterested? Fair play 🤦
|
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
But vice versa, you respond to said compliment with thanks and it's often taken as a green light.. 🤷
I disagree, after the first initial response, you don’t need to reply 🤦♂️
So you respond to every unsolicited email even if it's inapplicable or you are uninterested? Fair play 🤦
"
Yes, because I’m not ignorant
|
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
I ignore messages if they're rude, have a dickpic attached, say 'hi', are a dead message where I can't reply or that I'm just not in the mood to reply
🤷🏼♂️ |
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"Of course you do and of course you're not.. Like the insinuation btw 😘
Insinuating what ?? You asked me a question, I answered 😊
Feel most will understand, have a nice day "
I’ll try, although you make no sense  you enjoy your day also |
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By *enelope2UWoman 4 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
If a person can't read and sends an obvious inappropriate message there's zero manners in also not reading their messages..we CAN SEE message previews to gauge a message. |
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Depends on the message doesn’t it? But also I think sometimes woman and couples get so many messages they can’t physically read let alone respond to them all. Don’t take it too personally would be my advice |
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By *enelope2UWoman 4 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"99% of what I receive is unsuitable. It gets binned. Men choose to message despite having the opportunity to engage with what I am and am not interested in. "
Exactly this!!
Then they post bent hurt forum topics like this simply because they are rejected, incompatible to those they messaged. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
If they reply they have no idea you’re not going to give them abuse or continue a conversation. How would they know that?
Also… and more importantly… once you reply to someone even if you block / filter out single men from messaging, that doesn’t apply to that person.
You aren’t entitled to a reply and a compliment should be given without the expectation of a reply. Otherwise it’s not really a heartfelt compliment.
Entitled? Much. Namaste 🌈
Theres a hugggeeee difference between a message been read, and one not being opened, to
Send a compliment randomly
To a couple you randomly
Come across, deserves a thank you, or even a smiley face, entitled is bull crap, its called commons decency, if someone gives you abuse after a compliment, them thats just abnormal behaviour 😂if someone compliments me, man or woman, I’ll
Say thank you and leave it there, it’s called respect, we are all adults , so to expect to not be ignored, is not entitled im the slightest "
You’re overthinking it. Theres no difference. And yes. That is very very common on here. Abusive messages happen a lot. Perhaps you should be concentrating on educating others to not be abusive than expecting a response to a “compliment”
Just my 2ps worth. 🌈 |
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"Depends on the message doesn’t it? But also I think sometimes woman and couples get so many messages they can’t physically read let alone respond to them all. Don’t take it too personally would be my advice "
We could easily read/respond to the messages we get but we don't.
Like a lot of people we don't just delete messages from shadows, others we read the profile first
If it's clear from that they haven't read our profile, or there are too many red flags, then we either delete or leave them unread.
We als |
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"Depends on the message doesn’t it? But also I think sometimes woman and couples get so many messages they can’t physically read let alone respond to them all. Don’t take it too personally would be my advice
We could easily read/respond to the messages we get but we don't.
Like a lot of people we don't just delete messages from shadows, others we read the profile first
If it's clear from that they haven't read our profile, or there are too many red flags, then we either delete or leave them unread.
We als"
Which is totally fair enough, and I think the point the OP misses respect goes both ways. If you can’t be arsed to read a profile why should people be arsed to respond to your message? |
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So the OP wants me to reply to every...
'Hi'
'Meet now?'
'HRU'
'Im going to be your best shag ever'
Not sure i can be arsed and I'm fairly sure the Ts and Cs don't commit me to reply to everyone lol.
A well thought out, polite message avoiding txt spk may get a response though.
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By *ost SockMan 4 weeks ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
Fab needs a membership test (for us blokes, sadly). When you sign up, it sends you 40 messages a day for a week.
You have to reply to all 40 each day. Copying and pasting “no thanks” is fine.
I’d fail miserably (I’ve failed to reply to the three I’ve had from guys this week)! I suspect most would too, but it would bring it home what an administratice faff must be. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
I would actually say alot of the time what they are asking is in my profile...
So sometimes if they can't be bothered to read my profile I can't be arsed to reply, obviously dependent on the message or person
As there is always exceptions |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
Don’t get worked up you know how many messages women get on here daily ? And that’s not including the 1000 at least I bombard them with ! dont take it personally |
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It’s each to their own and it varies hiw people act, think and feel. To assume and expect replies from any or all is insane.
The profile was pretty new and probably had minimum effort put into it. People do look at profiles that message them and if they see it’s basic/empty then you can’t expect anyone to get excited lol.
Mainly men that complain about it anyway. Try put efforts in and remove that entitled crown it helps 😂 |
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Ignored messages....
I've had my profile hidden for the past week. Opened it back up this morning, posted a status saying 'read the profile if you expect a reply' had 16 messages already and not one has read my PROFILE properly 🤷🏼♂️
AND THIS IS WHY MESSAGES GET IGNORED !!
😡 |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Whilst we agree OP good manners cost nothing.
Having said that reading a profile and respecting its contents also costs nothing.
Our profile specifically say we are not looking for single guys. Yet 95% of all the messages we recive are from single guys.
If we are polite in our reply we are being passive aggresive, if we are blunt we get told we are rude or we get reported.
Simple answer do nothing and delete.
Hope that helps OP
Agree with that, if the message goes against your profile. When your message aligns with a profile and you don't a reply, what then?"
You might fit what I want but if I see something I don't like on your profile I still won't reply. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special "
Read the FAQ of the site. No reply = no thanks you. It's not rude not to reply. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
If they reply they have no idea you’re not going to give them abuse or continue a conversation. How would they know that?
Also… and more importantly… once you reply to someone even if you block / filter out single men from messaging, that doesn’t apply to that person.
You aren’t entitled to a reply and a compliment should be given without the expectation of a reply. Otherwise it’s not really a heartfelt compliment.
Entitled? Much. Namaste 🌈
Theres a hugggeeee difference between a message been read, and one not being opened, to
Send a compliment randomly
To a couple you randomly
Come across, deserves a thank you, or even a smiley face, entitled is bull crap, its called commons decency, if someone gives you abuse after a compliment, them thats just abnormal behaviour 😂if someone compliments me, man or woman, I’ll
Say thank you and leave it there, it’s called respect, we are all adults , so to expect to not be ignored, is not entitled im the slightest "
And there is the entitled attitude in all it's glory! |
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By *avie65Man 4 weeks ago
In the west. |
"Ignored messages....
I've had my profile hidden for the past week. Opened it back up this morning, posted a status saying 'read the profile if you expect a reply' had 16 messages already and not one has read my PROFILE properly 🤷🏼♂️
AND THIS IS WHY MESSAGES GET IGNORED !!
😡 "
I perv, eh eh eh read I meant read yours quite often. I fit the bill, I’m size hunk, I haven’t sent you a 🍆 pic but unfortunately I live in Little Rainy Acre and I’m over 55.  |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I find it most ignorant that someone should assume they're entitled to my time and energy just because they want it 💜"
This is one thing that really irks me. After coming out of an abusive marriage ( that you only just realised was abusive ) to them have strangers demand access to you just because they want you, is difficult.
They don't owe me anything and I don't owe them anything either.
I find people don't read the profile first, they just message and assume because we have a profile on fab, or that we are online that we are ready and waiting for a message from a guy to have sex.
OP a lot of the women here are looking for something specific. If you fit their criteria, message and explain how and why you do.
Otherwise, as others have said, delete the sent items and if you get a reply, it's a bonus!
Some women can get 150+ messages a day of they don't have very strict filters. That's a lot of people to get through. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special
If they reply they have no idea you’re not going to give them abuse or continue a conversation. How would they know that?
Also… and more importantly… once you reply to someone even if you block / filter out single men from messaging, that doesn’t apply to that person.
You aren’t entitled to a reply and a compliment should be given without the expectation of a reply. Otherwise it’s not really a heartfelt compliment.
Entitled? Much. Namaste 🌈
Theres a hugggeeee difference between a message been read, and one not being opened, to
Send a compliment randomly
To a couple you randomly
Come across, deserves a thank you, or even a smiley face, entitled is bull crap, its called commons decency, if someone gives you abuse after a compliment, them thats just abnormal behaviour 😂if someone compliments me, man or woman, I’ll
Say thank you and leave it there, it’s called respect, we are all adults , so to expect to not be ignored, is not entitled im the slightest "
It's your choice to send the compliment, it doesn't deserve anything!
What people have said is...
It opens up communication that normally leads to abuse.
Why should I say thank you to an unsolicited message?
Just because you receive a compliment doesn't mean all should act like you. |
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I think, unfortunately single guys, especially ones that don’t hang around don’t really get it. If you don’t get a reply then just take it as a no thanks and move on, not sure what the need to have ‘manners’ or ‘respect’ is from but seems the way of the world lately with a lot of blokes |
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The ones that complain definitely live on their own planet. These kind normally have hidden profiles, or when not hiding it have zero pics and no writing other than “here for fun times”.
They message people with hey and all other lazy openers with most not even managing to put a sentence together.
Summary - No pics, no game, no chat, just lame 😂😂😂 |
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On a more lighter note and a twist to this protracted thread — earlier this morning I received a message from woman apologising for not replying sooner. She acknowledged that I had messaged her 4½ years ago!
She now wants to chat. 
🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨💨💨💨 |
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"On a more lighter note and a twist to this protracted thread — earlier this morning I received a message from woman apologising for not replying sooner. She acknowledged that I had messaged her 4½ years ago!
She now wants to chat.
🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨💨💨💨"
Hahahahaha i love this ❤️ |
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By *eyeYCouple 4 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"On a more lighter note and a twist to this protracted thread — earlier this morning I received a message from woman apologising for not replying sooner. She acknowledged that I had messaged her 4½ years ago!
She now wants to chat.
🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨💨💨💨"
Utterly crushed our occasionally lax response times.. 🤣🤞 |
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"On a more lighter note and a twist to this protracted thread — earlier this morning I received a message from woman apologising for not replying sooner. She acknowledged that I had messaged her 4½ years ago!
She now wants to chat.
🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨💨💨💨
·
Utterly crushed our occasionally lax response times.. 🤣🤞"
•
Indeed. I think I need to establish appropriate Service Level Agreements (SLAs) on my profile. 🙂 |
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"On a more lighter note and a twist to this protracted thread — earlier this morning I received a message from woman apologising for not replying sooner. She acknowledged that I had messaged her 4½ years ago!
She now wants to chat.
🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨💨💨💨
·
Utterly crushed our occasionally lax response times.. 🤣🤞
•
Indeed. I think I need to establish appropriate Service Level Agreements (SLAs) on my profile. 🙂"
Absolutely Nero and maybe a line saying ... damsels i do accept unrequited replies a number of years down the line as patience is a virtue after all ❤️ |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing."
Welcome to the world of fab.
Fab isn't like chatting to people in a pub.
You'll get used to it after the first few hundred times. |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
I agree. Sometimes I send a nice complement to a couple, even sometimes saying i don’t expect a conversation im just showing some appreciation, point blank ignored, it is rude, and people seem to forget this is fab swingers lol, nothing special "
You sent an unsolicited message. They gave their answer. Grow up. |
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More so outside of here, overtime in life I thought I was being rejected, it took it hard, but then I started to 'learn' - I found then that it - rejection - (always) led to something better. Life without rejection is a fantasy.
it may sound counterintuitive but try and learn to embrace rejection (and I'm madly talking outide of here), but applies here also, your find it liberating and you'll be amazed. I promise.
Respect other folks' time and preferences button;'t let it affect who you (italics) are. Some folk have I'm sure zillions of emails in their inbox, many of us, far less so, and that's go to be respected. we can't all appeal to everyone.
"if you live for peoples acceptance, you will die of their rejection"
There we go, the great panjandrum has spoken
|
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"On a more lighter note and a twist to this protracted thread — earlier this morning I received a message from woman apologising for not replying sooner. She acknowledged that I had messaged her 4½ years ago!
She now wants to chat.
🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨💨💨💨
·
Utterly crushed our occasionally lax response times.. 🤣🤞
•
Indeed. I think I need to establish appropriate Service Level Agreements (SLAs) on my profile. 🙂
·
Absolutely Nero and maybe a line saying ... damsels i do accept unrequited replies a number of years down the line as patience is a virtue after all ❤️"
•
For you it will be a Cervix Level Agreement. 😘 |
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"
More so outside of here, overtime in life I thought I was being rejected, it took it hard, but then I started to 'learn' - I found then that it - rejection - (always) led to something better. Life without rejection is a fantasy.
it may sound counterintuitive but try and learn to embrace rejection (and I'm **madly talking outide of here), but applies here also, your find it liberating and you'll be amazed. I promise.
Respect other folks' time and preferences button;'t let it affect who you (italics) are. Some folk have I'm sure zillions of emails in their inbox, many of us, far less so, and that's go to be respected. we can't all appeal to everyone.
"if you live for peoples acceptance, you will die of their rejection"
There we go, the great panjandrum has spoken
"
. spelling ** Mainly |
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Some here get 100's of msgs a day, why should we reply to every single msg if some just aren't our type, what do we say......I wouldn't like to say "thanks but you're not my type" cos that leaves me open to abuse & once we reply they can dm us again even when we set all filters.
As someone else said , do we ring ever flyer that comes in our door, for instance, no I don't like Chinese food or no I don't want you to paint my house or no I don't want you to do my garden, same as if unsolicited dms come in our inbox here, we don't have to reply to each & everyone especially if the person isn't for us.
|
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the amount of messages the lovely ladies must get on here will be insane.
most will be same old "hi, hows you"
lots will be from people who dont read their profiles
lots will be dick pics..
i imagine as nice as it is to get loads of messages it becomes too much.
i personally take no offence to ignored or deleted messages.. |
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I respond to most messages which are reasonably within what I’ve said I’m looking for in my profile. But it’s not immediate - that might be because real life has intervened that day, or perhaps because you wrote an interesting message that I’d like to respond to with a bit of thought rather than a ‘How’s you?’ |
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"Have to say I find it most ignorant that someone should ignore a message.
Manners cost nothing.
Hi OP
It’s frustrating learning how this place works isn’t it? You’ve been here a month which isn’t really very long so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.
You’ve spotted a profile you like the look of and you send a message.
Logically to you it would be polite to respond to that message even if it’s a no- thanks. Right?
The thing is there are a lot of things to take into account here.
1. You sent an unsolicited message, that’s the most basic thing. They are under no obligation to respond to you even if it’s a simple no thanks. The site rules state as much.
2. Guys here outnumber women and couples by rather a large margin. This means your message isn’t the only one they’ve got. Potentially they’ve had over 100 such unsolicited messages. They’re going to need a PA to respond to every single one with a no thank you.
3. Many of us have experienced abuse and threatening behaviour by saying no thanks to someone. It happens daily. It’s much easier to just delete or leave it unread than it is to reply and risk a torrent of abuse (and yes before anyone mentions it I’m aware women and couples can be just as nasty).
4. I’m assuming you’ve definitely read their profile and what they’re looking for, checked that you’re within the right age and gender etc? Because chancing it just because you like their pics is a guaranteed way not to get a reply
5. The simple fact is that for 99% of profiles there won’t be a mutual attraction. That’s life.
Carry on shooting your shot but delete your sent box, that way when you do get a reply it’s a nice surprise instead of checking to see if anyone has read them.
Good luck "
Good tips for Fabbers. |
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