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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 weeks ago
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There are two parts to my question really....
One relating specifically to fab profiles and the other is about wider real world scenarios.
I think I struggle with compliments on here. Especially if I've not spoken to that person or people and it is a cold opening message.
I'm always worried that it comes across generic or false...I try to make it relevent and personable like oh, "I like the lighting in your picture" or"that pose is working for you" but is there a better way?
Secondly
If I ever see anyone (make female indifferent) out running or out exercise and I want to encourage them because I genuinely see the effort they are doing I can't without seeming like a weirdo or creep.
So I think they're should be a universally accepted action, phrase or whatever to acknowledge their efforts... Discuss xxx
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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The second one a lot of people out exercising would find it inappropriate and unwelcome, to have someone commenting on thier efforts. Unless it's a race or marathon type event. So that one is probably best avoided. |
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"The second one a lot of people out exercising would find it inappropriate and unwelcome, to have someone commenting on thier efforts. Unless it's a race or marathon type event. So that one is probably best avoided. "
I agree wholeheartedly with this. The exception being if it's someone you see in a running club for example so have some kind of relationship even if tenuous.
However if you want to break the ice with someone you see out regularly, I often nod to or say hello to other runners, and sometimes even compliment them on their tights if they're quite funky for example.
On here? Genuinely if you think someone looks good in some lingerie or has a nice smile just say so. Be yourself. If they can't accept the compliment they have the problem, and it's not you. Unless the compliment has come after a FAF message, then yes, the problem is you... 😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 weeks ago
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"The second one a lot of people out exercising would find it inappropriate and unwelcome, to have someone commenting on thier efforts. Unless it's a race or marathon type event. So that one is probably best avoided. "
Agree with that and that's why I don't say a thing. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 weeks ago
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"A universally accepted action phrase would be unworkable, who would decide and advertise that? "
Just thought the BBC would cover a story like this. Or the one show 😂 |
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Compliments from strangers on my physical appearance are always uncomfortable.
A woman complimenting my shoes or outfit or something I can handle okay. And friends and people who know me can say nice things in a way that suits me. But everything else is just a bit meh 💜 |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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Sadly we live in a world where every human interaction with a stranger is seen as a front to an ulterior motive.
The only compliments I have ever received from strangers is “nice beard!” And I always thank people for the compliment.
However, as a man, I would always avoid any situation where a female could misinterpret a compliment as anything other than a compliment.
It’s a real shame that we live in a world where we cannot be kind or complimentary to each other because of the fear of confrontation, accusation or misinterpretation.
Ultimately, keep yourself safe. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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Second one, don't.
On here, I think 99% of compliments are just throw away compliments, they don't mean anything.
I find it hard to compliment people because then I have to admit I might actually like them, or at least something about them. |
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I have a similar question for the woman on here.
When out in the real world, I’ll see a woman and maybe like a part of her outfit or her perfume etc
I don’t want to seem like a perv going up to someone and going oh you spell lovely what perfume are you wearing or your coat is gorgeous where’s it from etc.
If I’m dressed more feminine I feel much more comfortable with my approach because I did think I was less threatening but maybe trans people are a threat to woman now I’m just not sure.
Sorry that’s become a ramble now |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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I'm always suspicious of compliments in general.
My first thought is that they are taking the piss...and even if it does seem genuine then I'm too awkward to give a suitable response.
It's a blessing then that in Fab life and real life...they are few and far between.
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"I have a similar question for the woman on here.
When out in the real world, I’ll see a woman and maybe like a part of her outfit or her perfume etc
I don’t want to seem like a perv going up to someone and going oh you spell lovely what perfume are you wearing or your coat is gorgeous where’s it from etc.
If I’m dressed more feminine I feel much more comfortable with my approach because I did think I was less threatening but maybe trans people are a threat to woman now I’m just not sure.
Sorry that’s become a ramble now"
Honestly, any one presenting as male approaching me like that is an instant ick feeling.
But, women and general femme presenting or androgynous people are all more comfortable for me. I can at least pretend it's a genuine compliment, rather than just a way to open conversation in an attempt to get their dick wet. I like sharing information with those people, especially t girls who are looking for ways to heighten feminine aspects that I can help with.
If a t girl I don't know is in male mode, they will be perceived as the usual though, and I'd rather not have the comment or question 💜 |
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"I have a similar question for the woman on here.
When out in the real world, I’ll see a woman and maybe like a part of her outfit or her perfume etc
I don’t want to seem like a perv going up to someone and going oh you spell lovely what perfume are you wearing or your coat is gorgeous where’s it from etc.
If I’m dressed more feminine I feel much more comfortable with my approach because I did think I was less threatening but maybe trans people are a threat to woman now I’m just not sure.
Sorry that’s become a ramble now
Honestly, any one presenting as male approaching me like that is an instant ick feeling.
But, women and general femme presenting or androgynous people are all more comfortable for me. I can at least pretend it's a genuine compliment, rather than just a way to open conversation in an attempt to get their dick wet. I like sharing information with those people, especially t girls who are looking for ways to heighten feminine aspects that I can help with.
If a t girl I don't know is in male mode, they will be perceived as the usual though, and I'd rather not have the comment or question 💜"
Thank you for the reply it’s basically what I imagined.
I often mix my look up if I needed a label I’d pick non binary. I’ll have my boy face and hair bit of makeup and could be a heel or a dress and trainers. I mash my wardrobes together it’s all just clothing!
I really don’t want to creep anyone out, I find presenting as ‘female’ and walking home in the evening or public transport scary enough and I’m a big tough boy! But I can empathise with a woman’s perspective. X |
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First one...I find it a lame opener, I can work better with a hi how are you and then if I'm interested, I can start a conversation properly
Second one...just be appreciative internally.
Sometimes people just want to be left alone to do their thing.
Not everyone is looking for validation |
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