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How do you get over heartache?
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Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉
Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.
How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am  |
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"Time. Lots of time.
Finding someone else too helps when you're ready."
Agree 👆 time is a healer even thought it seems a cliche! There will come a time when you feel indifferent and thats the best feeling when it no longer tugs at you.
You will get there x |
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You can't just think of the good things. Have to be sure to remember the less favourable parts and all the reasons it ended too. It all helps to keep your perspective. There's a reason she's an ex.
If you were together would you be happy? Maybe the new fella is planning his escape as you sit pondering ancient history.... |
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Perspective ☝🏽
Time often gives one emotional perspective, so you look at things more objectively.
My last heartbreak? She manipulated me, but I couldn’t see it at the time. Someone who cared about you wouldn’t/shouldn’t do that. And it took time to realise this. So it stopped hurting…& turned into hatred 
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Depends on the person. If they were quite nice but not compatible, by consciously remembering the reasons it didn't work while being grateful for the good times. The ache eventually fades.
If they were a shit, make a little doll in their image and stab it with sharp implements. |
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By *tuhelCouple 8 weeks ago
Livingston |
I am very good friends with my exes.
Concentrate on you own freedom to choose and the fact that, overtime, the pair of you did not make it. It is not, and was not, a war whatever it felt like at the time. Neither of you were born to battle to your actual death.
Smile, shake hands, say "It was good whilst it lasted" put Adele on repeat, become an adult and get over it. |
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"What does "triangulated exes" mean please ?"
Apologies! It's basically introducing third parties and playing them off each other to create strife.
She wanted to stay friends with her ex. In certain contexts that can be understandable. But she would keep mentioning how he'd beg her to get back together, how he'd change for her etc. She'd then tell me how horrible he was to her, etc. Portraying him as a persecuted and me as the rescuer.
Eventually I received a message from the ex. I worked out she was telling him the same things. Making me the persecutor and him the rescuer. When I called her out on the contradictions, she deflected blame and gave a shallow apology.
In hindsight, I was manipulated. She strung me along with promises about the future. Her actions didn't align with her words at all. |
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Honestly, I probably get over heartache by writing about it. Obviously everyone else has said sensible things like time and whatever else. But for me, I like to write out my feelings. It really helps for me to process things and then let them go (eventually depending on how emotionally involved I am) |
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By *emma200Woman 8 weeks ago
Warwickshire |
Time will heal you OP. Seeing her again especially with someone else will potentially make you think about memories and how you felt towards her.
Acceptance of the things you can not change will give you peace. But overall.. it’s time x |
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I think I must be emotionally a bit closed off because I honestly feel nothing for all but one of my exes, and she’s my best friend. There are a couple I keep in touch with have coffee lunch occasionally and I just sit there thinking thank fuck I didn’t end up with this one…. |
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If anyone can easily deal with it, and knows this answer, please let me know.
I know you have to just decide to live and build a new life with new plans. Sadly, the pain has never gone away for me too op. |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 8 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"What does "triangulated exes" mean please ?
Apologies! It's basically introducing third parties and playing them off each other to create strife.
She wanted to stay friends with her ex. In certain contexts that can be understandable. But she would keep mentioning how he'd beg her to get back together, how he'd change for her etc. She'd then tell me how horrible he was to her, etc. Portraying him as a persecuted and me as the rescuer.
Eventually I received a message from the ex. I worked out she was telling him the same things. Making me the persecutor and him the rescuer. When I called her out on the contradictions, she deflected blame and gave a shallow apology.
In hindsight, I was manipulated. She strung me along with promises about the future. Her actions didn't align with her words at all."
It sounds like you miss what could have been not what the relationship actually was. |
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"You have to let yourself go through it and feel what you feel, some people just ignore and never really get over it"
That's where I've been at this past year. Allowing myself to fully feel everything before I can date again.
I think she ignored it. Looking back, I was a link in a chain of back to back relationships for her |
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"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉
Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.
How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "
well I read a how to get over a headache   |
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The last instance I recall like that. I bumped into someone unexpectedly. She went on one of those veil of politeness subtext eviscerations, whilst staring me in the eyes. I just stood there, I recall the sensory experience of her hurt, it made me cry for her. Then she smiled satisfactorily at my tears. So I reminded myself that's why I walked away from her and left her to bask in her glory.
Never love someone who revels in hurting your heart - that's the only advice I've got to give on that one. |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"Gotta go through the 5 stages of grief
Lots of times and in no particular order 🤣"
Did you ever see the 30 rock bot where Alec Baldwin went through them all in about a minute. One of the funniest thing |
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First time posting onto a thread so apologies if I do say anything that’s not the done thing.
Ach gone through a break up in the last couple of weeks to a month.
One of those creeping death numbers - where you both put each through it trying to work it out, chasing something that’s now gone
So aye, I’ll doing my bikini line, followed by, eat well and gym, eat well and gym eat well and gym
Although Im carrying extra weight in my 2 low hanging friends as these chats don’t lead, I’m ripping your clothes
Tbf, need to actively avoid mourning something that’s past and focus on filling my bucket with postive Things
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"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉
Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.
How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "
Fuck her mum |
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"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉
Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.
How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "
Time and get yourself inside a new gf, |
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"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉
Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.
How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "
A little bit of you will never move on.. |
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"So hard, but remember why you ended it in the first place. The chances are she is still that way with her new partner. You deserve to be with someone better x"
This helps for sure. In that moment I forgot about the excuses, the irresponsibility. If she's never giving herself time to process her breakups, chances are she's still the same way like you said x
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