FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you get over heartache?

How do you get over heartache?

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *alahadLad OP   Man 8 weeks ago

Pembs

Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉

Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.

How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago

Time. Lots of time.

Finding someone else too helps when you're ready.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hickthighs25Woman 8 weeks ago

Stockton


"Time. Lots of time.

Finding someone else too helps when you're ready."

Agree 👆 time is a healer even thought it seems a cliche! There will come a time when you feel indifferent and thats the best feeling when it no longer tugs at you.

You will get there x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ovelyDayXXXWoman 8 weeks ago

Niche

You can't just think of the good things. Have to be sure to remember the less favourable parts and all the reasons it ended too. It all helps to keep your perspective. There's a reason she's an ex.

If you were together would you be happy? Maybe the new fella is planning his escape as you sit pondering ancient history....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *atnip make me purrWoman 8 weeks ago

Reading

It's the shock as much as anything else. And that will wear off.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alahadLad OP   Man 8 weeks ago

Pembs

I'm hoping time will eventually heal it. It's been almost a year, so I think its on me overthinking and overvaluing 😔

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ecretSilverlinkMan 8 weeks ago

Manchester

never got over it but just learn how to live with it. stay strong x dms open if you need to vent

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *allySlinkyWoman 8 weeks ago

Leeds

How do you think she felt seeing you, as you were the one to initiate the breakup ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *allySlinkyWoman 8 weeks ago

Leeds

What does "triangulated exes" mean please ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan 8 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

Perspective ☝🏽

Time often gives one emotional perspective, so you look at things more objectively.

My last heartbreak? She manipulated me, but I couldn’t see it at the time. Someone who cared about you wouldn’t/shouldn’t do that. And it took time to realise this. So it stopped hurting…& turned into hatred

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago

Stick her under the patio with the rest of them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *verageHoesCouple 8 weeks ago

Leeds

Depends on the person. If they were quite nice but not compatible, by consciously remembering the reasons it didn't work while being grateful for the good times. The ache eventually fades.

If they were a shit, make a little doll in their image and stab it with sharp implements.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *sStephenPickleMan 8 weeks ago

Ends

[Removed by poster at 13/05/25 07:32:55]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *sStephenPickleMan 8 weeks ago

Ends

The thought of bumping into my ex expectedly or unexpectedly makes me want to throw up.

I think time is the best healer. I need more of it for sure.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *tuhelCouple 8 weeks ago

Livingston

I am very good friends with my exes.

Concentrate on you own freedom to choose and the fact that, overtime, the pair of you did not make it. It is not, and was not, a war whatever it felt like at the time. Neither of you were born to battle to your actual death.

Smile, shake hands, say "It was good whilst it lasted" put Adele on repeat, become an adult and get over it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alahadLad OP   Man 8 weeks ago

Pembs


"What does "triangulated exes" mean please ?"

Apologies! It's basically introducing third parties and playing them off each other to create strife.

She wanted to stay friends with her ex. In certain contexts that can be understandable. But she would keep mentioning how he'd beg her to get back together, how he'd change for her etc. She'd then tell me how horrible he was to her, etc. Portraying him as a persecuted and me as the rescuer.

Eventually I received a message from the ex. I worked out she was telling him the same things. Making me the persecutor and him the rescuer. When I called her out on the contradictions, she deflected blame and gave a shallow apology.

In hindsight, I was manipulated. She strung me along with promises about the future. Her actions didn't align with her words at all.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago


"What does "triangulated exes" mean please ?"

They were slightly acute or obtuse??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman 8 weeks ago

Reading

Honestly, I probably get over heartache by writing about it. Obviously everyone else has said sensible things like time and whatever else. But for me, I like to write out my feelings. It really helps for me to process things and then let them go (eventually depending on how emotionally involved I am)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oodguy71pMan 8 weeks ago

Barmouth

I feel your pain mate, 3 years on and although I kid myself most days I’m still not over it, but life goes on, as they say……..and at least we have Fab for meaningless sex…….or the hope of it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *emma200Woman 8 weeks ago

Warwickshire

Time will heal you OP. Seeing her again especially with someone else will potentially make you think about memories and how you felt towards her.

Acceptance of the things you can not change will give you peace. But overall.. it’s time x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rHotNottsMan 8 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think I must be emotionally a bit closed off because I honestly feel nothing for all but one of my exes, and she’s my best friend. There are a couple I keep in touch with have coffee lunch occasionally and I just sit there thinking thank fuck I didn’t end up with this one….

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago

Gotta go through the 5 stages of grief

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *host63Man 8 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

Once someone decides motto bevwitg mebi put them out of my mind.

If I see them again I sm polite but nothing else. They are an ex for reason. Remember that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *exyScientistsCouple 8 weeks ago

Castlebar


"Gotta go through the 5 stages of grief"

Lots of times and in no particular order 🤣

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *reachersdaughterWoman 8 weeks ago

Someplace

You have to let yourself go through it and feel what you feel, some people just ignore and never really get over it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rostgiantMan 8 weeks ago

Wilts

[Removed by poster at 13/05/25 09:11:20]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aron Van WinkleMan 8 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

If anyone can easily deal with it, and knows this answer, please let me know.

I know you have to just decide to live and build a new life with new plans. Sadly, the pain has never gone away for me too op.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lowupdollTV/TS 8 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Leeds/London


"What does "triangulated exes" mean please ?

Apologies! It's basically introducing third parties and playing them off each other to create strife.

She wanted to stay friends with her ex. In certain contexts that can be understandable. But she would keep mentioning how he'd beg her to get back together, how he'd change for her etc. She'd then tell me how horrible he was to her, etc. Portraying him as a persecuted and me as the rescuer.

Eventually I received a message from the ex. I worked out she was telling him the same things. Making me the persecutor and him the rescuer. When I called her out on the contradictions, she deflected blame and gave a shallow apology.

In hindsight, I was manipulated. She strung me along with promises about the future. Her actions didn't align with her words at all."

It sounds like you miss what could have been not what the relationship actually was.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alahadLad OP   Man 8 weeks ago

Pembs


"You have to let yourself go through it and feel what you feel, some people just ignore and never really get over it"

That's where I've been at this past year. Allowing myself to fully feel everything before I can date again.

I think she ignored it. Looking back, I was a link in a chain of back to back relationships for her

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ortney FoxxxWoman 8 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane


"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉

Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.

How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "

well I read a how to get over a headache

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alahadLad OP   Man 8 weeks ago

Pembs

Thank you all for your advice! I'm sure I'll feel a bit better tomorrow x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ansoffateMan 8 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

The last instance I recall like that. I bumped into someone unexpectedly. She went on one of those veil of politeness subtext eviscerations, whilst staring me in the eyes. I just stood there, I recall the sensory experience of her hurt, it made me cry for her. Then she smiled satisfactorily at my tears. So I reminded myself that's why I walked away from her and left her to bask in her glory.

Never love someone who revels in hurting your heart - that's the only advice I've got to give on that one.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago


"Gotta go through the 5 stages of grief

Lots of times and in no particular order 🤣"

Did you ever see the 30 rock bot where Alec Baldwin went through them all in about a minute. One of the funniest thing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *all muscles and stubbleMan 8 weeks ago

falkirk

First time posting onto a thread so apologies if I do say anything that’s not the done thing.

Ach gone through a break up in the last couple of weeks to a month.

One of those creeping death numbers - where you both put each through it trying to work it out, chasing something that’s now gone

So aye, I’ll doing my bikini line, followed by, eat well and gym, eat well and gym eat well and gym

Although Im carrying extra weight in my 2 low hanging friends as these chats don’t lead, I’m ripping your clothes

Tbf, need to actively avoid mourning something that’s past and focus on filling my bucket with postive Things

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *isskxxyvWoman 8 weeks ago

Reading


"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉

Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.

How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "

Fuck her mum

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aurileeWoman 8 weeks ago

Maidstone

So hard, but remember why you ended it in the first place. The chances are she is still that way with her new partner. You deserve to be with someone better x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *layfullsamMan 8 weeks ago

Solihull


"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉

Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.

How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "

Time and get yourself inside a new gf,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oldyoudown41Man 8 weeks ago

Oxfordshire


"Note, I said heart ache, not heartburn 😉

Walking down the aisle whilst shopping, I was greeted with my ex and her new partner doing their weekly shop together. Despite being the one to initiate the break up (she was emotionally unavailable and triangulated exes), it still hurts a fair bit to unexpectedly see her.

How have you all dealt with that sort of pain? Or maybe you're made of stronger stuff than I am "

A little bit of you will never move on..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alahadLad OP   Man 8 weeks ago

Pembs


"So hard, but remember why you ended it in the first place. The chances are she is still that way with her new partner. You deserve to be with someone better x"

This helps for sure. In that moment I forgot about the excuses, the irresponsibility. If she's never giving herself time to process her breakups, chances are she's still the same way like you said x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oodgreen25Man 8 weeks ago

Gorey

It never goes away 😢

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *vonne5exMan 8 weeks ago

Doncaster


"Time. Lots of time.

Finding someone else too helps when you're ready."

I don't think it does, time is the only healer

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0468

0