FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > One for the ladies.. do we ever stop wanting the bad ones?
One for the ladies.. do we ever stop wanting the bad ones?
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"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?
I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells and gets arrested..🤣
More bad as in.. not good for you!"
Nice is like, my standard default in who I'm attracted to. Kindness in another person? Drool emoji.
That said, I'm constantly falling for the people who are not good for me. It's a toxic attachment routine based on my own history and I'm currently working on making better decisions and boundaries.
If you want better for yourself you can absolutely have that. You deserve it. Or your friend does  |
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"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?
I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells c0ke and gets arrested..🤣
More bad as in.. not good for you!"
Honestly, I've never wanted exciting either. Nice and sexy aren't mutually exclusive. Nice doesn't mean doormat. I like niceness when it's real, not to win brownie points. |
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"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?
I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells and gets arrested..🤣
More bad as in.. not good for you!
Nice is like, my standard default in who I'm attracted to. Kindness in another person? Drool emoji.
That said, I'm constantly falling for the people who are not good for me. It's a toxic attachment routine based on my own history and I'm currently working on making better decisions and boundaries.
If you want better for yourself you can absolutely have that. You deserve it. Or your friend does "
I think my friend the problem🤣!
She could have a nice man; but they don’t excite her.🤣 |
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I’m also going to point that it’s not always to do with emotional intelligence, life experience and age.
Patronising isn’t required here 🤭 some people are incredibly self aware of their behaviours and what they attract, they just do it anyway😏 |
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"I’m also going to point that it’s not always to do with emotional intelligence, life experience and age.
Patronising isn’t required here 🤭 some people are incredibly self aware of their behaviours and what they attract, they just do it anyway😏 "
Age is the reason for everything on fab.
Got a problem? It’ll pass when you get older. |
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"Yes, they get boring after you’ve reached 30-35, that’s why they like them young"
I don’t know if being boring is age related… i think it’s a state of mind… some think they have to settle down and be responsible - potentially boring some think they have to constantly be striving for change - chaotic and also in a way boring… stability with unpredictability… maybe the best option? Xx |
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"
I think my friend the problem🤣!
She could have a nice man; but they don’t excite her.🤣"
Maybe what your friend wants right now is that excitement and the balance for wanting that is some hurt. Maybe your friend will want something else next week or month or year or never and hopefully she'll be open to exploring whatever that is. It'll be a fun adventure either way.
I feel like we're all attracted to something we're missing. |
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Depends what you define as bad.
I love sexual deviants with filthy minds, but who respect me and treat me well. People can be amazingly exciting sexually without being a "bad boy". Some of the most intense relationships I've had have been with "normal" decent men with perverted minds that align with my own.
I'm not into "bad boy" tropes. I don't want to change someone. I don't want someone who is emotionally immature. I don't want someone who plays games.
Anyone who tries the "treat them mean to keep them keen" shtick with me can get in the bin. I know what I want. And I absolutely know what I don't want. |
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I wasn’t a complete ass hole but it wasn’t until I had some responsibility (kids, relationships, work) that I started to take accountability for my actions and realised I wasnt the main character lol.
We don’t really mature unless we have some responsibility, but we might be older by then and be out of bounds attraction wise.
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"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?
Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x"
Just bad news! It’s hard to explain as it can be a variety of different things, usually it’s the early dating that I’m like.. I shouldn’t want this guy.. but I do! While rejecting all the ‘marriage material’ type men🤣
I’m a walking cliché.. or my friend is I mean🤭 |
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"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?
Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x
Just bad news! It’s hard to explain as it can be a variety of different things, usually it’s the early dating that I’m like.. I shouldn’t want this guy.. but I do! While rejecting all the ‘marriage material’ type men🤣
I’m a walking cliché.. or my friend is I mean🤭"
I guess your friend might want to delve a bit deeper into what they’re getting out of these interactions. Novelty? Variety? Are they really looking for stability in their life? Or do they not like others to get too close?
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"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?
Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 someone is tired"
I told you I was too old for going three rounds. But you wouldn’t listen  |
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It's not that we want the bed ones just that we want a man to display his ability to be bad and aggressive, makes us feel safer and like he is more capable of protecting us. Keep the bad boy behaviour to a minimum though please x
Mrs x |
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"It's not that we want the bed ones just that we want a man to display his ability to be bad and aggressive, makes us feel safer and like he is more capable of protecting us. Keep the bad boy behaviour to a minimum though please x
Mrs x"
Oh now.. this! This is the type of analysis I like! |
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I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....
To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.
To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.
It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....
If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'
( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) |
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"I only want the good ones. The ones who won't hurt me. The ones who take my feelings into account. The ones who deserve me."
Tell me if you find such a mythical creature, we can all come and bow at his feet.
(P.s. I've found him and I like to share, lightening doesn't strike twice usually)
Mrs x |
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"I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....
To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.
To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.
It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....
If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'
( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) "
Interesting take, unsure how you can compare a medical mental diagnosis ( narcissist disorder etc) with a generic term that groups a bunch of behaviours together.
I agree that the former is used far too much. |
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"I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....
To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.
To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.
It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....
If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'
( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) "
Granny Crumpet? Bad?! No never! You're a good girl surely?
Mrs x |
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"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?
Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 someone is tired
I told you I was too old for going three rounds. But you wouldn’t listen "
For you I’d go more than 3. Just so you could sleep well xxx
Awww that was so romance. |
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"I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....
To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.
To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.
It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....
If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'
( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) "
I don't like it either for the same reasons.
Tolerate had behaviour of you want to but it's enabling at the very least |
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Could it be that those that attract so called bad ones, are deep down, afraid of commitment. They crave the excitement knowing that the relationship is not going to lead anywhere. Any hurt is outweighed by that initial excitement and knowing there will be no long-term commitment. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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Ah there was a time I liked a bad boy. Probably still wouldn't say no tbh. I like the look, a bit rougher, tattoos...yes please.
These days though I like my guys a bit more mentally and emotionally stable. (Preferably still a bit rougher looking with the tattoos) |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉"
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 "
Meh, I don't think nice men don't do bad things in the bedroom. Well not in my experience. Or maybe I just always go for the bad ones with realising.
Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!
|
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
Meh, I don't think nice men don't do bad things in the bedroom. Well not in my experience. Or maybe I just always go for the bad ones with realising.
Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!
"
I think your top answer is most likely, maybe they are a bad boy and you didn't realise 🤔 |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 "
Haha.
A nice guy would have bought you a teddy bear aswell. 😉
After what I’ve just asked them to do, they deserve to feel something soft again. 😏 |
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By *agic.MMan 10 weeks ago
Orpington |
Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov). |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 "
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
Haha.
A nice guy would have bought you a teddy bear aswell. 😉
After what I’ve just asked them to do, they deserve to feel something soft again. 😏"
Wouldn't the soft part be the nice bouncy fluffy pillow they had their face buried in? 🤣🤣 |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. "
No idea what the Madonna thing was all about, slightly before my time i think. 🤔 |
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"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov). "
It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣
I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉 |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.
No idea what the Madonna thing was all about, slightly before my time i think. 🤔"
Not that Madonna, I mean when women are divided into marriage material or good for a fuck groups. |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
Meh, I don't think nice men don't do bad things in the bedroom. Well not in my experience. Or maybe I just always go for the bad ones with realising.
Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!
"
Totally agree. I've done some absolute debauchery with good people. |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. "
I knew you'd be on my wavelength with this twinnie 😂 |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. "
Agreed. I think it's an overly simplistic view.
Some of the things I enjoy done to me in the bedroom, I wouldn't let anyone do them to me without believing they 100% respected me, my boundries and cared for my wellbeing.
For instance, being a sadist and enjoying that type of play doesn't automatically make someone a "bad boy" in my opinion. Having a certain "look" like tattoos, a beard, the clothes they wear, doesn't make them a "bad boy" either.
Maybe some of us just have a different view about what a "bad boy" is 🤷🏻♀️ |
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By *agic.MMan 10 weeks ago
Orpington |
"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).
It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣
I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉"
I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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No! Lol
I have a guy on here had meets with but then we make plans and he ghosts me, comes back asking to see me so I go, make plans again and he ghosts me, it's a toxic cycle and I need to not go back... he's just sexy af!
I will never learn!! |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.
Agreed. I think it's an overly simplistic view.
Some of the things I enjoy done to me in the bedroom, I wouldn't let anyone do them to me without believing they 100% respected me, my boundries and cared for my wellbeing.
For instance, being a sadist and enjoying that type of play doesn't automatically make someone a "bad boy" in my opinion. Having a certain "look" like tattoos, a beard, the clothes they wear, doesn't make them a "bad boy" either.
Maybe some of us just have a different view about what a "bad boy" is 🤷🏻♀️"
I think this might be the thing right here. Sorry OP, this thread has become a discussion of the definition of a bad boy  |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.
I knew you'd be on my wavelength with this twinnie 😂"
Shocker |
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"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).
It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣
I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉
I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent"
Valid point, I didn’t articulate myself properly.
But could that point not be flipped over, who is actually viable to assess emotional maturity?😉 |
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Not looking a 'nice guy' faking it.
Or a 'good guy' playing games.
I only make time for someone that is genuinely a good person.
Someone who can handle life.
Someone who won't add more weight to what I already carry.
If my life isn't better for having you in it? ...just keep moving, not interested, zero attraction, nothing for you. |
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By *agic.MMan 10 weeks ago
Orpington |
"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).
It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣
I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉
I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent
Valid point, I didn’t articulate myself properly.
But could that point not be flipped over, who is actually viable to assess emotional maturity?😉"
It's not a condition that needs to be assessed by a specialist...it's just a pattern of behaviour. Psychologists and specialists will describe and showcase these patterns of behaviour for us (adults) to better recognise them. Similar with food.. we kinda know what's good and bad for us to eat based on how our bodies react to food, but a nutritionist will better explain why a certain food is not good for us. |
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"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!
No idea why
Someone gets it😉
100%
Why would you want to keep them?
A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸
This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.
No idea what the Madonna thing was all about, slightly before my time i think. 🤔"
Haha. ^a nice girl. 😏😅 |
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"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).
It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣
I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉
I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent
Valid point, I didn’t articulate myself properly.
But could that point not be flipped over, who is actually viable to assess emotional maturity?😉
It's not a condition that needs to be assessed by a specialist...it's just a pattern of behaviour. Psychologists and specialists will describe and showcase these patterns of behaviour for us (adults) to better recognise them. Similar with food.. we kinda know what's good and bad for us to eat based on how our bodies react to food, but a nutritionist will better explain why a certain food is not good for us."
But surely.. although a general example of behaviours portray as ‘emotionally immature’.
It simply can’t be determined via someone who knows nothing about you via a swingers forum 😉 |
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By *EAT..85Woman 10 weeks ago
Nottingham |
I have one that's bad for me, in the last 7 years he's been blocked more than he hasn't, but that doesn't stop me from unblocking him here and there through sheer stupidity 🫤 He's taken and I'm not entertaining that anymore.
Otherwise, yes, the ones that you know are gonna leave you in the dust, I find attractive, but rarely go there anymore. |
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Yes in my limited experience yes.
Bad boys are called that for a reason. They can make very inconsiderate lovers and they are the drama.
Give me a quiet introvert or shy guy any day.
I'm old though so I'm over them. They can seem fun at the time though but nah! |
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For many it's a cycle of behaviour that starts from trauma. It can be many things that kick-starts it but ultimately it meets a need in you that other things won't.
You get all the big brain feelgood chemicals from the push/pull, the lovebomb/rejection, the hot/cold, the challenge to get their attention, to 'win' them.
But it's not them you want. It's the win. Like walking away from a fairground stall with a cheap stuffie worth £1.50 that cost you £25 in tickets....
We all want to be wanted. To be chosen. To be valued. It's hard. |
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"No! Lol
I have a guy on here had meets with but then we make plans and he ghosts me, comes back asking to see me so I go, make plans again and he ghosts me, it's a toxic cycle and I need to not go back... he's just sexy af!
I will never learn!!"
Make time for those that make time for you. Thats the motto I live by  |
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"Are you talking about people who are bad for you or the bad boy archetype OP?
She explained above if it helps
I'm not reading all of that unless I'm being paid. "
I’m not reading all that but I’m sad that happened or congrats or whatever |
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By *arnelianWoman 10 weeks ago
Ely, Cambridgeshire (moved here April '25) |
"I only want the good ones. The ones who won't hurt me. The ones who take my feelings into account. The ones who deserve me.
Tell me if you find such a mythical creature, we can all come and bow at his feet.
(P.s. I've found him and I like to share, lightening doesn't strike twice usually)
Mrs x"
Like you said, you've found this mythical creature. I've got a FWB who is like this too. If you're reading this V, yes, it's you  |
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so you should. Nobody makes a sandwich quite like I do. 