"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?"
Not really sweetheart because I wasn't there and I don't know either of you BUT
It's best to understand that some people you are talking to fall into the following categories:-
1. People who are mentally ill.
2. People who are purposely cruel
3. People who don't realise the angst that they cause to others
4. People who desperately just want to talk.
5. People who maintain a fantasy personality behind their facade
6. People who get a better offer
7. People who spy the storage boxes in your photo
8. People who say they will just to get off the phone ...
9. People who are enjoying the chat and then their mum comes in.
I could go on forever here....
Just take EXTRA EXTRA precautions before you arrange to meet anyone.
Ask to cam first - doesn't have to be undressed or sexual. If you feel safe then , then chat a few times on the phone and get a sense of who they are. |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?
Not really sweetheart because I wasn't there and I don't know either of you BUT
It's best to understand that some people you are talking to fall into the following categories:-
1. People who are mentally ill.
2. People who are purposely cruel
3. People who don't realise the angst that they cause to others
4. People who desperately just want to talk.
5. People who maintain a fantasy personality behind their facade
6. People who get a better offer
7. People who spy the storage boxes in your photo
8. People who say they will just to get off the phone ...
9. People who are enjoying the chat and then their mum comes in.
I could go on forever here....
Just take EXTRA EXTRA precautions before you arrange to meet anyone.
Ask to cam first - doesn't have to be undressed or sexual. If you feel safe then , then chat a few times on the phone and get a sense of who they are. "
👏. …. Best advice you’ll get pal |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?"
•
It's not pleasant and far from reassuring, OP.
Women are capricious creatures, spirits of the material world, ethereal beings who fade in/fade out leaving us mortal men bewildered and crestfallen.
There's only one woman on this God's good Earth who knows the answer: GrånnyÇrumpet. She is the oracle and the all-seeing êyê.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I'm wishing you all the best, dear fellow. 🩶 |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?"
People ghost for all sorts of reasons. I find it odd when people ghost you after you send a face photo, rather than just saying “you’re not for me but I wish you well on here.” Or something to that effect.
I get that not everyone is for everyone else but just blank, read the message and drift off, I find it odd. |
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"sounds like it could be a fake profile, maybe a bloke?
Maybe life got in the way?
Maybe they just didn’t know how to tell you?
I’m sorry and it’s shitty but it’s hard to ever know the reasons. "
Must be awful to be ghosted by someone you once seen as a friend, sending hugs  |
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There are lots of time wasters on here. It's not really ghosting but it's frustrated I agree. I normally get ghosted after sex. It really hurt the 1st couple of times but now I've sadly come to expect it.
There's no way of knowing why either. Sometimes we can have sex many times during an evening with lots of kisses etc then they go away and stop contact. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"Maybe you do the research? Find a pub or coffee house 1/2 way?
When I reply, I say that I'm happy to meet anywhere of their choice."
It's not good enough, honestly if you can't read minds and tell them what they want to hear then there's no hope for any of us.
In seriousness, it sucks but it's par for the course on here unfortunately 👍 |
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By *bi HaiveMan 11 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?"
Are these definitely genuine women? Verified and assuredly not Big Dave from Cleethorpes?
If so, maybe the conversation wasn't floating their boat and they've moved on to one that did. Maybe they wanted you to suggest somewhere rather than put the onus on them?
Conversations can fizzle out for any number of reasons and most of the time you'll never know why. |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?
Are these definitely genuine women? Verified and assuredly not Big Dave from Cleethorpes?
If so, maybe the conversation wasn't floating their boat and they've moved on to one that did. Maybe they wanted you to suggest somewhere rather than put the onus on them?
Conversations can fizzle out for any number of reasons and most of the time you'll never know why. "
Blimey Big Dave gets around. But good adv8ce  |
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"Men ghost women too. I have also had a couple of hilarious reasons why a man is cancelling a meet.."
I don’t think the OP was suggesting at all that they don’t, more just talking on his own experience. |
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Happens to all I suspect. Even this week to me. Perhaps males more ?. Females and couples can be spoilt for choice. So as others have said . Take their pick of who to meet. Even if saying wants to meet. Time , place being sorted then gone. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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‘He’s just not that into you’ or in this case ‘she’
Not worth your time OP, I’m sure it’s nothing you’ve done to upset or cause anything, sometimes it could be harmless; too many messages. Sometimes people are just dicks |
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"‘He’s just not that into you’ or in this case ‘she’
Not worth your time OP, I’m sure it’s nothing you’ve done to upset or cause anything, sometimes it could be harmless; too many messages. Sometimes people are just dicks"
I live by the just not that into you. Makes it so much easier not to care. |
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Some people are really indecisive so I would say something like how about X or Y , often it works.
If you bring the conversation back after a while & not about meeting. Do they reply again? These kind of people can really test your patience ,sometimes people clearly want to meet you , but whatever reason just can’t. I imagine it’s things like bad timing they are involved in somebody else but really like you
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"‘He’s just not that into you’ or in this case ‘she’
Not worth your time OP, I’m sure it’s nothing you’ve done to upset or cause anything, sometimes it could be harmless; too many messages. Sometimes people are just dicks
I live by the just not that into you. Makes it so much easier not to care. "
Another favourite of mine is ‘if they wanted to, they would’ ! Also makes things a lot clearer and simpler. Xx |
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By *eliWoman 11 weeks ago
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"‘He’s just not that into you’ or in this case ‘she’
Not worth your time OP, I’m sure it’s nothing you’ve done to upset or cause anything, sometimes it could be harmless; too many messages. Sometimes people are just dicks
I live by the just not that into you. Makes it so much easier not to care.
Another favourite of mine is ‘if they wanted to, they would’ ! Also makes things a lot clearer and simpler. Xx"
Yes! As someone who was prone to bad overthinking a few years ago, it's so much easier to say that. Removes the pressure. I was explaining to someone recently that a dear person is a choice to me. They choose me. If someone wants to talk, spend time with me? They will. I can't control another's actions and I love when I'm actively chosen.
It's helped so much. |
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"Another favourite of mine is "if they wanted to, they would" ! Also makes things a lot clearer and simpler. Xx"
I have to say that I agree with this. Most of us are cognisant when it comes to women's burgeoning Inboxes and the challenges in trying to locate a message from someone with whom they are already communicating.
When I'm chatting to people on Fab - perhaps a nascent but fervent conversation with someone new - I can often sense their deep interest in me. As Meli said I feel "actively chosen" in this case. If she is interested she will always find my message and continue the chat. How they are able to locate my message is a total mystery to me (although I am aware of a 'shortcut'). If someone isn't 'into me' it becomes apparent soon enough because of the notion that other people had no problem locating my messages. I interpret the radio silence as closure. A fizzling out, of sorts. |
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I would only call it ghosting if you've actually met that person, rather than just chatted to them online.
Nobody can answer why people go quiet, life takes over, they lose interest or don't like something that was said. It's sometimes easier to let conversations just die off, especially if someone just isn't feeling it.
Yes, ideally people would tell others they've changed their minds etc, but many fear the abuse. I'm not saying you're abusive op, but some are on here if they don't get their own way.
Also as someone else suggested, maybe do some research too for next time. Find out what sort of meet they'd want and where, then you can suggest places too etc. |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?"
They played you with 10 other guys.
When men ghost women it's because they have deep rooted personality disorders and are beyond help. |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?"
Thanks for the advice. Should I try and follow up if ghosted? As said by some people, it could be because women are juggling a number of men and possibly forget about me. On the other hand, IO don't want to harass the women. Any views? |
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"I've found that often women say that they want to meet, but when I ask when & where, they ghost me. Any ideas why this happens?
Thanks for the advice. Should I try and follow up if ghosted? As said by some people, it could be because women are juggling a number of men and possibly forget about me. On the other hand, IO don't want to harass the women. Any views?"
Don't contact anyone who ghosts you. You are not their puppy and besides if they are that interested they would contact you.
I really do hope you meet some decent people. |
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