It’s more of a role I enjoy rather than a need for submission, as in when I woman tells me what she likes I try to fill the fantasy.
I like authority dynamics in general and spanking is more nuanced than it gets credit for.
I would never call myself a dom as I find it a bit cringey but I do find it the easiest dynamic when engaging with a potential partner. |
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Erm I think I could fill the whole thread with my thoughts on what a Dom is.
But in general I think it's such a broad term, that it's only a starting point. A bit like saying I like Men, so I look for those but not all Men are compatible with me and vice versa.
Sorry that's not really answered your question very well  |
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I'm not a swinger/kinkster in the traditional sense and therefore my interpretation describes my vanilla approach and how I conduct myself: I'm dominant in the bedroom, coaxing my partner, taking the lead, taking charge and orchestrating the foreplay and the sex overall...from a vanilla'ish standpoint.
But I'm not a "Dom" as in whips, chains, ropes, paddles and other such paraphernalia. 🩶 |
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By *hortieWoman 5 weeks ago
Northampton |
"This needs a whole dissertation to answer 😅"
Innit 😂
Ok, for me only... It's a rare thing. To meet a Dom. And I mean a Dom. If this thread were to fill with 100 separate Dom identifying guys... 2, maybe 3 would pique my interest. |
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Wide and wildly varying term. It can mean a great many things depending on context.
But, if someone has it in their profile it directly tells me they're a Dom without context or provocation, it just means tool 💜 |
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To me, being dominant means identifying submissive traits in your partner and allowing them to explore that. I’m there to facilitate your release of your true self. Me being in control is an illusion, I’m just giving that person what I know they want.
It’s about picking up on subtle cues and drawing that hidden desire out of them, and then encouraging them further along their fantasies. When acting dom I remain calm, controlled, sometimes authoritative if that’s what they want. Though it’s always myself taking the lead. the “sub” should never have to ask for what they want. I just know… it’s intuitive. (Of course boundaries etc will be discussed beforehand, and I do check things are ok, consent etc).
That’s how I see it anyway. It’s a mutual pleasure. The “dom” allows the other person to feel totally safe giving into their uninhibited sexual side.
Of course there’s all kinds of other dynamics too. But the above is how I operate, when the chemistry is right. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 5 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
In BDSM, a Dominant (often shortened to Dom or Domme for female-identifying individuals) is a person who takes the controlling, guiding, or leading role within a consensual power exchange dynamic. This can range from light, playful dominance to deeply structured, 24/7 power exchange relationships. It’s always consensual and the boundaries & limits should always be negotiated beforehand.
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"Someone who is Dominant.
Not someone who says he’s dominant or someone who just likes to smack your arse. "
To me, I distinguish between being dominant and being a dom. To meet a Dom is into the BDSM handbook, not always naturally dominant in the bedroom or in real life but enjoys this kind of subculture and community and reading others interpretations and learning about it , they enjoy most of the traditional activities associated with Dom sex - restraints spanking impact, use of tools, pinwheels dungeons etc and lifestyle D/s.
I know I’m dominant in life and in the bedroom, always have been way before I knew there was a name for it I just like it but I’m not a Dom
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"Hi guys,
I’d like to get your thoughts…..what does a “Dom” mean to you and how would you define it? X "
There are as many types of Dom as there are kinks.
In some ways it's easier to define what a Dom shouldn't be.
If someone just wants to hit someone else, degrade them, wants to break a sub, ignores safe words etc.
You're not a Dom.
You're someone into sexual assault.
If there are common threads.
Any D/s relationship is about communication and consent.
The sub is the one with the actual power as they can stop a scene at anytime.
Often Subs have high stress jobs or a lot of responsibilities. As a Dom you're giving someone the permission they need to relax and explore.
You've also taken on a 'duty of care' for your sub as some kinks like impact play, breath play, blade play, Shibari etc have a serious risk of injury and even death.
Safe Sane Consensual (SSC)
Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)
Are things to always bear in mind.
Also Aftercare is a thing people. |
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