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Do you feel invisible
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I sometimes ponder when I can't sleep, and one of my thoughts is along the lines of our 'being'.
We walk around, do stuff, and does it actually matter? If I fell off my mortal coil tomorrow, would anyone care? Would I be missed? Life would just go on.
Irrationally, this worries me. I'd prefer not to be forgotten, or just be another invisible person.
Do you have an irrational need to feel noticed? 🤓 |
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I know there’s a few people I matter to, but it’s a small number. Does that mean I feel invisible elsewhere, yes I do, there’s little to reassure me that I’m remembered by people.
Maybe others are exactly the same though. |
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I've said before on here that from the ages of 12 to 50 I assumed I was invisible to most people because I didn't have the opportunities or the experience that they all did.
It was never really an issue until I was ill around the time I turned 40 and for the next decade it became something I wanted to change but had no idea how.
When I look back now I can see the different stages as clearly as if I was watching "It's a wonderful life" and even though I've felt visible for about 10 years now, I know that I made a difference long before then and just couldn't see it. |
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"I know there’s a few people I matter to, but it’s a small number. Does that mean I feel invisible elsewhere, yes I do, there’s little to reassure me that I’m remembered by people.
Maybe others are exactly the same though. "
I have my children, but in the wider sense, it would, or must be nice to feel at the centre of something.
I told you it was irrational 🤓 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah. But in therapy I learned that my need to be liked and cared for came from my social anxiety which came from childhood. So now I can often talk myself out of these thoughts. |
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"Yeah. But in therapy I learned that my need to be liked and cared for came from my social anxiety which came from childhood. So now I can often talk myself out of these thoughts. "
Maybe I'm at the stage where I think 'it's all gone to shit', look backwards and think, 'what have I done that'll be remembered for?'🤓 |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
I went through a phase after the winter lockdown and a breakdown of querying my mortality, but, one day, when I was at my lowest, some friends knocked on my door with several bags of shopping, and to ask how I was.
The fact that people cared enough to see how I was, made me realise just how much I had impacted on the community.
It made me realise that I was not alone, and that people actually cared.
It was the wake up call I needed.
I continue to give back to the community as a result, I guess, if I passed tomorrow, I would be remembered |
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"I know there’s a few people I matter to, but it’s a small number. Does that mean I feel invisible elsewhere, yes I do, there’s little to reassure me that I’m remembered by people.
Maybe others are exactly the same though.
I have my children, but in the wider sense, it would, or must be nice to feel at the centre of something.
I told you it was irrational 🤓"
Andy Warhol’s ‘15 mins fame’ might be round the corner for you, just be patient. 😉 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like being NOT noticed. And that happens quite easily for a woman as she matures.
The only thing I worry about with regards to dying, is who will look after my youngest, as I doubt he will ever be able to live alone independently. That keeps me up at night sometimes.
But I try not to dwell on it, that way sadness lies!
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By *evenishMan
over a year ago
Coningsby |
Someone once said that as you grow older you become invisible. Now that I'm older I understand what was meant. I'm not invisible to those closest to me, friends and relations, but a vast majority of people are now younger than me and to them I'm invisible. I'm not exactly relevant in their younger lives. Sometimes, if I'm feeling retrospective, it bothers me but I'm confident enough to not let it bother me unduly. I've done some amazing things and known some extraordinary people. |
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Also you're in a watershed decade. Your 50s are often a time for reflection and buying sports cars or motorbikes 😉.
Unless we are famous or infamous we are invisible to the world but we're not invisible to the people close to us. |
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The older you get the more I think whats this all about?
Work, home, pay bills, work, home, etc stuck in a system with nothing to look forward to apart from being shafted by the government and system!
It's just seems they want you to work till the day you die now and leave you with crumbs to live on.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I heard Jimmy Carr say that you die twice. Once when you physically die and again the last time someone says your name."
I love Jimmy. He's an interesting guy. |
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"Also you're in a watershed decade. Your 50s are often a time for reflection and buying sports cars or motorbikes 😉.
Unless we are famous or infamous we are invisible to the world but we're not invisible to the people close to us. "
No bikes or fast cars will be purchased. A lady might be nice though 🤭🤓 |
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"Most days OP yes.
I have great friends though. Who tell me to give my head a wobble from time to time 😘
You're a fellow Yorkie. We get over fears pretty swiftly 🤓"
I’m a Lincolnshire lass actually. But close enough gorgeous 😘😘
Giving zero fucks helps x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'd most likely be missed for a day or so after all all the false people have declared what an ok geezer you were, how you lit up a room when you walked into it, how you were a gentle giant, and all that bullshit, then once the funeral had taken place and all the false people had said their shit to make themselves feel better - you'd be ancient history. Sad but true. |
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"You'd most likely be missed for a day or so after all all the false people have declared what an ok geezer you were, how you lit up a room when you walked into it, how you were a gentle giant, and all that bullshit, then once the funeral had taken place and all the false people had said their shit to make themselves feel better - you'd be ancient history. Sad but true."
Well.....that's cheered me up, no end 😬 |
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"You'd most likely be missed for a day or so after all all the false people have declared what an ok geezer you were, how you lit up a room when you walked into it, how you were a gentle giant, and all that bullshit, then once the funeral had taken place and all the false people had said their shit to make themselves feel better - you'd be ancient history. Sad but true."
I’m not having a funeral with anyone there. Problem solved 😘 |
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By *sWyldWoman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.
I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.
Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.
I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be . |
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"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.
I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.
Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.
I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be ."
I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓 |
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"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.
I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.
Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.
I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .
I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓"
You guys are so lucky having kids ♥️ |
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"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.
I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.
Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.
I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .
I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓
You guys are so lucky having kids ♥️"
They're growing up and won't need me much longer 🤓 |
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"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.
I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.
Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.
I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .
I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓
You guys are so lucky having kids ♥️
They're growing up and won't need me much longer 🤓"
They’ll always need you darling x |
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What would you like to be remembered for, OP?
I had a straight talking no bullshit friend once who listened when I was all, wahhhh I'm insignificant and nobody will remember me if I die. And he was all, yeah, that's probably true. Then he asked me what I'd like to be remembered for. And whatever my answer was to work on that. If I want my family to remember me as kind and warm and loving or if my goal was to be successful at work focus on that. Whatever you want. There's always time to make your life more meaningful. You just have to choose what meaning to give it. |
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"I sometimes ponder when I can't sleep, and one of my thoughts is along the lines of our 'being'.
We walk around, do stuff, and does it actually matter? If I fell off my mortal coil tomorrow, would anyone care? Would I be missed? Life would just go on.
Irrationally, this worries me. I'd prefer not to be forgotten, or just be another invisible person.
Do you have an irrational need to feel noticed? 🤓"
Everyone is forgotten in long enough time through history |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To a degree, when everyone has their rightful moment of falling off the mortal coil, shall be forgotten. Life goes on and humans go on doing their little life adventures and journeys. Nothing personal, it's just the way it is.
That's why we must make great use of the life we have. |
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