FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women who invite guys to their house for a first meet.
Women who invite guys to their house for a first meet.
Jump to: Newest in thread
Is this a common occurrence?
Two women in the past have invited me to their home for a first physical contact, albeit we started in the living room to chat over a coffee but after an hour or so of gentle flirting we moved upstairs, how many of you out there would be willing to invite a guy back to your home on the first meet? Was it a success or instant regret when you opened the door to them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think when it comes to letting someone into your home it's a lot to do with trust, green flags and how comfortable you feel around them. I don't think there's a time line as such, it's different with everyone.
When I was active as a single guy I had a few first social meets that ended up back at theirs. Things just flowed naturally that way. There was woman I'd been talking to for ages online. I didn't think it was going anywhere in that way but we'd struck up a good raport. Then why night completely of the blue she point blank asked me to come around and spend the night with her. I think she'd come to the conclusion she was safe with me and its time to meet her own needs. That turned into a nice weekly booty call type scenario for a while.
Like I say it's more about how comfortable you are with people than time line.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Was this after a previous social or the very first time you ever met them?
Either way it would be a no for me. Mainly because my house is my family space."
No social but we had been chatting on here for some time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We're wary as a couple. If I was a woman alone I would need to know a man very well before I met him alone anywhere. The older I've grown the more wary I've become, this is in direct contrast to my younger self, I look back and wonder at my carelessness. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd never give someone my address I'd never met. It blows my mind that people do.
I always meet them in a public place like a bar, cafe, park, club whatever first. I need to be sure they are who they say they are for a start, and then that we actually have attraction and chemistry. I can't imagine anything worse than inviting someone to my house and there's zero attraction or chemistry and I just want them to leave 😬 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's definitely not a common occurrence for me. I've only ever had one person I met via fab in my house. And I've known him for a year now and met elsewhere for the first 9 months or so."
This feel reasonable cute! You have know him a while now and so you have a pretty good judge of his character I would guess |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Over the years I've had two very well verified women not only invite me to their homes but insisted on it.
We had never met but they were happy to send me their addresses and phone numbers. They both said they felt safer in their own surroundings.
I refused both offers because I don't meet without a social and also because anyone willing to invite me as a complete stranger into their homes regardless of how many times they had done it before or how well verified they were, were not my kind of people.
That total lack of concern for their own safety put me off immediately. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I just think this is so risky to just give some random stranger your home address. Even people you may have chatted to for a while.
When meeting I would always have a social first and met somewhere other than my safe space after |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When I was single and meeting here, I'd never invite any man over, without a social first.
I invited someone over once , without one when I was naive and new here and it wasn't great.
You hear allsorts of horror stories here, how men have given women's addresses out to others, or turned up late at night when horny.
It's just not worth the risk.
Plus If you don't find them attractive when ftf, that could get kind of awkward too, as not everyone takes rejection well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would be unsure if doing it as a guy. It feels like such an obvious no no for a woman that I’d be worried I’m being set up.
If I invited you to my home pickle, would it feel like a set up? "
Yeah I’d be like, why would this hottie be interested in me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *untogetherCouple 4 days ago
Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K. |
"We're wary as a couple. If I was a woman alone I would need to know a man very well before I met him alone anywhere. The older I've grown the more wary I've become, this is in direct contrast to my younger self, I look back and wonder at my carelessness. "
Very much this!! I often wonder how I made it out of my teens and 20's alive with some of the nieve and careless decisions I made. I look back and think I would never do that now, that is definitely a you'll never be seen alive again situation   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I did it once, with my long term partner, 15 years ago.
In hindsight, it was a terrible idea, but I was lucky and had amazing sex.
If his intentions were nefarious I'd have been dead meat, as he's very tall and was very muscular back then.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We're wary as a couple. If I was a woman alone I would need to know a man very well before I met him alone anywhere. The older I've grown the more wary I've become, this is in direct contrast to my younger self, I look back and wonder at my carelessness.
Very much this!! I often wonder how I made it out of my teens and 20's alive with some of the nieve and careless decisions I made. I look back and think I would never do that now, that is definitely a you'll never be seen alive again situation "
Getting in cars with men I barely knew and going for a drive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would be unsure if doing it as a guy. It feels like such an obvious no no for a woman that I’d be worried I’m being set up.
If I invited you to my home pickle, would it feel like a set up?
Yeah I’d be like, why would this hottie be interested in me "
🤦♀️🤦♀️ My point was, surely we've chatted plenty that an invite wouldn't feel weird. I've invited plenty of people over and never once had an issue. Whether that's luck or good people judgement, who knows. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If a woman invited me round to her house for the first time we were meeting, my suspicions would be raised & I’d instantly think it’s way to good to be true because it’s not something that happens, if at all.
Have gone over to a woman’s house for a meet before but that was off the back of us meeting in a public place first and more than once. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would be unsure if doing it as a guy. It feels like such an obvious no no for a woman that I’d be worried I’m being set up.
If I invited you to my home pickle, would it feel like a set up?
Yeah I’d be like, why would this hottie be interested in me
🤦♀️🤦♀️ My point was, surely we've chatted plenty that an invite wouldn't feel weird. I've invited plenty of people over and never once had an issue. Whether that's luck or good people judgement, who knows. "
No I hear you. That’s fair enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think if I was a single woman I wouldn’t take the chance if we’d not had a social first. As a couple we have still only done this once with a single guy and to be honest I thought it was probably more scary for him turning up on his own. We had been chatting for a couple of months so felt confident that it would go well but still a risk on his part more than ours xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a female on here that's invited me afew times but haven't been able to go because of bad timing but I love it. She obviously trusts me and likes me to have me come to her house. I will do it soon though as it should've been done by now. I've also had other females invite me but they have been too far away as I don't drive but now I'm thinking about taking my driving test as I'm missing out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is this a common occurrence?
Two women in the past have invited me to their home for a first physical contact, albeit we started in the living room to chat over a coffee but after an hour or so of gentle flirting we moved upstairs, how many of you out there would be willing to invite a guy back to your home on the first meet? Was it a success or instant regret when you opened the door to them?"
It depends on how long you've been chatting to them and if there a sense of trust between you. I've had meetings where I've gone to their home with no problems and other's where we meet in a public place first. It's all down to how you both communicate before meeting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was invited to a house and told the door would be unlocked, just come upstairs.
Reader, I didn’t attend. "
See quite a few like that (99.9999% of the time it's guys).
Door open/unlocked, just walk in etc..
If that doesn't get the alarm bells and red flags waving nothing will.
Anyone with anything similar that on their profile goes straight onto the block list.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've only ever been to my ex fwbs home and that was after us knowing each other for a year and several meets including hotels before that. I need to really trust someone before going to their place.
It would need a massive change in my living arrangements for someone to be invited to my home as it's not just my space, it's the family home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manteeCouple 4 days ago
Manchester |
We have done it, however our very first meet from Fab was a bad experience, the guys pictures were 10 years out of date, he was 64 yrs old not 54 which he had put on his profile. We also had a few no shows but have also had some great meets |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I know a few women who do this because it’s easier and safer than going to a hotel to meet a stranger.
I’ve invited a couple of people back here that I’d never met, but I’d spoken to a lot beforehand.
I was selling gold and silver a while back on Facebook and I was more scared than people on fab. Some random guy turned up to buy a kilo of silver. I had a meat cleaver under the cushion on the sofa in case he tried to rob me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When I was on here as a single guy I had several first meets at ladies houses. Admittedly there was some messaging first to make sure we were compatible.
My preference was and still is to always have a social but sometimes the list was high and they wanted to accommodate.
In hindsight, it’s risky for both parties as accusations can be levelled both ways. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Not for me.
There has only ever been 1 guy at my house and this only happened after months of chatting and meeting elsewhere....I won't go into details but I ended up having to get the police involved.
Never again will I have anyone at my house, know matter how long I've known them for which is why I say I'm more than happy to pay for a hotel x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have done in the distant past. But for a cuppa. Not sex. Anyone who didn’t understand they weren’t going to get in my knickers… if I wore any… wouldn’t be invited. In fact they are fucked off straight away.
Depends how much we’ve chatted really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I met a girl when I worked in hospitality once, she was just on a night out. She asked me for a lighter outside, then asked me for my number, I was surprised because she was gorgeous and had all the guys attention while she was dancing in the bar. We got messaging and she told me she was heavily into the swingers scene and gave me an insight into what it’s like and all about the different clubs etc… It was around the time the Fifty Shades Of Grey film came out and she seemed kind of obsessed with it making it out to be some kind of cinematic masterpiece.
She messaged me one night asking me to come round after work, I was gonna go but then she sent me her address and said she’d be in bed and to just walk in and go upstairs to her room, could’ve just been a kink thing but I’d only met her briefly, it was all a bit suspect so I bailed.
I did end up going round one night and she just sat there staring at me giving me one word answers when I was trying to make conversation, then after a bit she pulled her phone out with a picture of her in all this sexy white lingerie and dryly said “I wanted to show you this picture”, she was stunning and I told her so but I wasn’t attempting anything, I’m not a creep and although I wouldn’t have said no I wasn’t just out to get a shag. Then we went back to the awkward staring and one word answers. No sooner had I left I got a text telling me how disgusted she was with me for coming to her house expecting sex, how we had zero chemistry and how she didn’t wish to communicate with me anymore, I said no worries, all the best…
The next day I got a text saying “I think you owe me a bottle of wine” 🤯
We messaged on and off for a few weeks and it was like a different person each time we spoke, some proper split personality shit going on it was bizarre, one day she’d be sending me rude messages and dirty talk which I’m not really into and find a bit cringey, other days she seemed like she didn’t know who I was and it was the first time we’d ever spoke.
I got in touch with her again years later thinking maybe we’d just got off on the wrong foot, I’d just split up with a long term partner so was having a moment of delusion and desperation, we started off chatting again normal (I don’t think she remembered who I was to be honest) then one day she just turned on me telling me to fuck off and calling me a cunt, the way she was typing was dead out of character to the many different versions of her I’d already spoken to, poor grammar and bad spelling like a proper chav, If I had never had met her I would’ve sworn it was a catfish situation…
I often wonder what became of that fucking psycho, how many bunnies she’s boiled, what mental institution she’s in now and look forward to her Netflix documentary 🐰 🗡️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am not currently meeting, but when I was, I did invite some people to mine straight away. It was easier for me that way, as the area where I live hasn't really got places you could meet for a social once I finished work. How I knew it was going to be ok? I just knew, I trusted my gut instinct. I had to feel comfortable enough with the person to invite them to mine- after years on here, I think I have quite a good idea of who I'm going to be ok with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I invited people to mine when I was meeting. I'd prefer this than theirs, being in my own space etc."
Very much this! I am much more relaxed in my own space, and afterwards, I don't have to travel anywhere. Also, not being able to drive does limit my options. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Absolutely not! My house is my castle..... I don't want anyone in it 🤣
I made the mistake of telling a fabber where I lived (I live really remotely, I didn't even give him my adress, just a kind of vague idea) and he just randomly turned up at my house uninvited, the fruitcake!!
I WOULDN'T EVER invite random strangers off the Internet into my home..... that's the plot line of a Netflix documentary in the making!!
Also, if your not feeling the vibe during a social, you can just make your excuses and leave..... then block the person and move on with your buisness..... you're not getting upland walking out of your own lounge are you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think this is very much the exception eather than the rule. Don’t think many women would invite complete strangers to their home, their safe haven.
The expectations of some men are laughable, though. I accept that it is also men’s prerogative not to host at their homes, but then they start hesitating at the prospect of sharing hotel costs? Kindly fuck off then and stop wasting my time.
The only person I would have at my home is my FWB but realistically my house is almost never empty with my large brood. And when it is distance or work get in the way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've done it. I didn't think that much of it tbh. When I first came on Fab I didn't even know socials existed.
I mean are we saying nobody has taken a guy home after a tipsy night out? Like we do Ill advised things sometimes.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've done it. I didn't think that much of it tbh. When I first came on Fab I didn't even know socials existed.
I mean are we saying nobody has taken a guy home after a tipsy night out? Like we do Ill advised things sometimes.
"
This. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've done it. I didn't think that much of it tbh. When I first came on Fab I didn't even know socials existed.
I mean are we saying nobody has taken a guy home after a tipsy night out? Like we do Ill advised things sometimes.
This."
I never did. 🤷♀️ but I didn’t grow up in this country, so there’s the cultural difference.
I did meet people from t’internet (all vanilla) since my early 20s and it was always, always meet in a public place. Always. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tr8MrEMan 3 days ago
somewhere near Sheffield |
"Is this a common occurrence?
Two women in the past have invited me to their home for a first physical contact, albeit we started in the living room to chat over a coffee but after an hour or so of gentle flirting we moved upstairs, how many of you out there would be willing to invite a guy back to your home on the first meet? Was it a success or instant regret when you opened the door to them?"
I think it's all down to how genuinely comfortable they sense they are going to be around you...also I think lower expectations is important, never go in with the intentions of sex then quite frankly I really don't have a problem with it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m always cautious of going to someone’s house for a first meet, I’ve done it once when I was 18 and the woman had her husband there and I got my wallet and phone taken by him and beaten up, always been very careful since |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've done it. I didn't think that much of it tbh. When I first came on Fab I didn't even know socials existed.
I mean are we saying nobody has taken a guy home after a tipsy night out? Like we do Ill advised things sometimes.
"
I've never took some random home...I usually woke up with random objects instead |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
