FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A stroke changes you
A stroke changes you
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"Back in Nov 24, I had a stroke. Recovery is decent and physically I was very lucky, however, mentally, It feels like my identity has changed. I've also noticed what I like sexually seems to have changed. Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? " I can't comment regarding stroke. However I did suffer a pretty bad head trauma about 15 years ago and I have never been the same since. My personality changed massively. As for my sexual proclivities? Not much changed other than my libido diminished. | |||
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"A stroke...at the age of 41? It's rare, no?" Far less than you might think. | |||
"A stroke...at the age of 41? It's rare, no?" No it's not. | |||
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"Our brains are everything about us, so it's readily possible that some injury can inflict major changes. After a lifetime of being certain ways, it's potentially a massive adjustment for us to come to terms with ourselves being different, all the while, still having to cope with what can be a difficult life, at the best of times. It can take quite some time for survivors to heal and recover, so I'd encourage you to go easy on yourself. " I am trying, thank you Sophieslut | |||
"I had a stroke aged 29 about 3 years ago and I feel like a completely different person now, not necessarily for the worse but it is a lot to get your head round! Glad to hear your physical recovery is going well, the mental part gets better too I promise! " I'm sure it does, and I'm glad youre doing well yourself. | |||
"Back in Nov 24, I had a stroke. Recovery is decent and physically I was very lucky, however, mentally, It feels like my identity has changed. I've also noticed what I like sexually seems to have changed. Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? " Hubby suffered what was described as a 'small' stroke 3 years ago. Only problem was the infarct was in a part of right lobe that deals with processing info and lots of other stuff. So physically he was very lucky, a little weakness on his left side but he's left with a constant pain in his left thigh. This is despite nothing being wrong with his leg, its just his brain telling him he has thus pain, which gets much worse on excursion and this affects his balance and he needs a stick now. But that's about it physically. It's the mental elements that have been massively affected. He struggles with all sorts of stuff. He was extremely frustrated at first because they kept saying its a 'small' stroke. He was even told he might recover fully due to this and his age, fairly young to have a stroke. He'd had about half a dozen TIAs before and recovered fully from these, so he assumed, we all did, tgat he'd just get better. But that's not the case. So on one particular consultation he had it explained that what's happened for him is tgat he's lost his 'conductor'. So if you think about his brain being this fantastic orchestra, playing concerts wonderfully before, its conductor had now gone missing. So whilst each individual musician was still world class, there was nobody leading the group, keeping them in time and running the overall orchestra. It was now an out of tune, shambles. So whilst his stroke was small it unfortunately was in an unfortunate place in his brain and whilst he still could take in all the information, he just couldn't process it. So they reckon that you make the quickest and best recovery from a stroke within a matter of months or a couple of years but after that the best you can hope for is stability and no more strokes. So my hubby now lives for each day, has had to change his outlooks regarding plans for the future and be happy he's still here and enjoy his life on these grounds. The problems he has relate to things like executive function, memory loss, in the shirt term, think Dory from finding Nemo, he struggles with math, reading, cognition. And then there's a few of the weirder things. He suffers from spatial neglect. This means his brain ignores images and info on his left hand side, the opposite side to his stroke. So reading is difficult. So is walking due to him bumping into things. He cannot be allowed out on his own, not that he can walk to far but because he won't see traffic coming at him on his left hand side. He's a danger to himself and others. Fatigue is the most debilitating thing, other than the mental issues. It's nothing like being tired although it sounds like it. Post Stroke fatigue means his brain becomes overwhelmed by information which because he has lost his 'conductor' he cannot process this. So he will be overwhelmed by stimulus and his brain will just want to shut down. Now he can try and fight this but it makes him physically sick. So one minute he's awake and tge next he's unconcious. And its got nothing to do with getting enough rest. He can be overwhelmed by bright light, noise, TV, bright colours and patterns. It's as if we can focus on something when we look at stuff. He however cannot do this, he has tge whole picture coming into his head without tge benefit of focus and this massive amount of stimulus will cause his brain just to shutdown to protect itself. All that said it could be so much worse. He's lucky in that his lifestyle has changed that much in that he is a family guy, a home body, with a couple of close friends. All of this continues for him. He is still the same guy but has changed due to necessity. He's quieter now due to not being able to keep up with the conversations but he's happy now, something he hasnt been for a couple of years. Strokes are awful things but you can do things to try and lessen the negative elements on your life. Once he accepted that he had a new reality and that this wasn't that bad he found solace in that and lives every day as fully as he can. Thinking about all the stroke survivors on here, wishing you all the best, Mrs x | |||
"Back in Nov 24, I had a stroke. Recovery is decent and physically I was very lucky, however, mentally, It feels like my identity has changed. I've also noticed what I like sexually seems to have changed. Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? Hubby suffered what was described as a 'small' stroke 3 years ago. Only problem was the infarct was in a part of right lobe that deals with processing info and lots of other stuff. So physically he was very lucky, a little weakness on his left side but he's left with a constant pain in his left thigh. This is despite nothing being wrong with his leg, its just his brain telling him he has thus pain, which gets much worse on excursion and this affects his balance and he needs a stick now. But that's about it physically. It's the mental elements that have been massively affected. He struggles with all sorts of stuff. He was extremely frustrated at first because they kept saying its a 'small' stroke. He was even told he might recover fully due to this and his age, fairly young to have a stroke. He'd had about half a dozen TIAs before and recovered fully from these, so he assumed, we all did, tgat he'd just get better. But that's not the case. So on one particular consultation he had it explained that what's happened for him is tgat he's lost his 'conductor'. So if you think about his brain being this fantastic orchestra, playing concerts wonderfully before, its conductor had now gone missing. So whilst each individual musician was still world class, there was nobody leading the group, keeping them in time and running the overall orchestra. It was now an out of tune, shambles. So whilst his stroke was small it unfortunately was in an unfortunate place in his brain and whilst he still could take in all the information, he just couldn't process it. So they reckon that you make the quickest and best recovery from a stroke within a matter of months or a couple of years but after that the best you can hope for is stability and no more strokes. So my hubby now lives for each day, has had to change his outlooks regarding plans for the future and be happy he's still here and enjoy his life on these grounds. The problems he has relate to things like executive function, memory loss, in the shirt term, think Dory from finding Nemo, he struggles with math, reading, cognition. And then there's a few of the weirder things. He suffers from spatial neglect. This means his brain ignores images and info on his left hand side, the opposite side to his stroke. So reading is difficult. So is walking due to him bumping into things. He cannot be allowed out on his own, not that he can walk to far but because he won't see traffic coming at him on his left hand side. He's a danger to himself and others. Fatigue is the most debilitating thing, other than the mental issues. It's nothing like being tired although it sounds like it. Post Stroke fatigue means his brain becomes overwhelmed by information which because he has lost his 'conductor' he cannot process this. So he will be overwhelmed by stimulus and his brain will just want to shut down. Now he can try and fight this but it makes him physically sick. So one minute he's awake and tge next he's unconcious. And its got nothing to do with getting enough rest. He can be overwhelmed by bright light, noise, TV, bright colours and patterns. It's as if we can focus on something when we look at stuff. He however cannot do this, he has tge whole picture coming into his head without tge benefit of focus and this massive amount of stimulus will cause his brain just to shutdown to protect itself. All that said it could be so much worse. He's lucky in that his lifestyle has changed that much in that he is a family guy, a home body, with a couple of close friends. All of this continues for him. He is still the same guy but has changed due to necessity. He's quieter now due to not being able to keep up with the conversations but he's happy now, something he hasnt been for a couple of years. Strokes are awful things but you can do things to try and lessen the negative elements on your life. Once he accepted that he had a new reality and that this wasn't that bad he found solace in that and lives every day as fully as he can. Thinking about all the stroke survivors on here, wishing you all the best, Mrs x" Awesome post And sums up just how I am after my stroke 3years ago | |||
"Back in Nov 24, I had a stroke. Recovery is decent and physically I was very lucky, however, mentally, It feels like my identity has changed. I've also noticed what I like sexually seems to have changed. Anyone else in a similar situation or any advice? Hubby suffered what was described as a 'small' stroke 3 years ago. Only problem was the infarct was in a part of right lobe that deals with processing info and lots of other stuff. So physically he was very lucky, a little weakness on his left side but he's left with a constant pain in his left thigh. This is despite nothing being wrong with his leg, its just his brain telling him he has thus pain, which gets much worse on excursion and this affects his balance and he needs a stick now. But that's about it physically. It's the mental elements that have been massively affected. He struggles with all sorts of stuff. He was extremely frustrated at first because they kept saying its a 'small' stroke. He was even told he might recover fully due to this and his age, fairly young to have a stroke. He'd had about half a dozen TIAs before and recovered fully from these, so he assumed, we all did, tgat he'd just get better. But that's not the case. So on one particular consultation he had it explained that what's happened for him is tgat he's lost his 'conductor'. So if you think about his brain being this fantastic orchestra, playing concerts wonderfully before, its conductor had now gone missing. So whilst each individual musician was still world class, there was nobody leading the group, keeping them in time and running the overall orchestra. It was now an out of tune, shambles. So whilst his stroke was small it unfortunately was in an unfortunate place in his brain and whilst he still could take in all the information, he just couldn't process it. So they reckon that you make the quickest and best recovery from a stroke within a matter of months or a couple of years but after that the best you can hope for is stability and no more strokes. So my hubby now lives for each day, has had to change his outlooks regarding plans for the future and be happy he's still here and enjoy his life on these grounds. The problems he has relate to things like executive function, memory loss, in the shirt term, think Dory from finding Nemo, he struggles with math, reading, cognition. And then there's a few of the weirder things. He suffers from spatial neglect. This means his brain ignores images and info on his left hand side, the opposite side to his stroke. So reading is difficult. So is walking due to him bumping into things. He cannot be allowed out on his own, not that he can walk to far but because he won't see traffic coming at him on his left hand side. He's a danger to himself and others. Fatigue is the most debilitating thing, other than the mental issues. It's nothing like being tired although it sounds like it. Post Stroke fatigue means his brain becomes overwhelmed by information which because he has lost his 'conductor' he cannot process this. So he will be overwhelmed by stimulus and his brain will just want to shut down. Now he can try and fight this but it makes him physically sick. So one minute he's awake and tge next he's unconcious. And its got nothing to do with getting enough rest. He can be overwhelmed by bright light, noise, TV, bright colours and patterns. It's as if we can focus on something when we look at stuff. He however cannot do this, he has tge whole picture coming into his head without tge benefit of focus and this massive amount of stimulus will cause his brain just to shutdown to protect itself. All that said it could be so much worse. He's lucky in that his lifestyle has changed that much in that he is a family guy, a home body, with a couple of close friends. All of this continues for him. He is still the same guy but has changed due to necessity. He's quieter now due to not being able to keep up with the conversations but he's happy now, something he hasnt been for a couple of years. Strokes are awful things but you can do things to try and lessen the negative elements on your life. Once he accepted that he had a new reality and that this wasn't that bad he found solace in that and lives every day as fully as he can. Thinking about all the stroke survivors on here, wishing you all the best, Mrs x" You've summed it up perfectly. Thank you and I wish your husband well. | |||
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