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Do you live in regret?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 4 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
We all have regret, it is part of life, it have more to do with how we deal with it. I dont delve so much on the things that could of been as the decision ould of presented into another outcome of life, sure I sometimes look back and imagine how it could of been, but I am not obsessed with it.
It would be interesting to see what kind of person you are, are you the kind of person that cant move forward because of a decision that you made or are you like me, that accepts it and move on, but sometimes just thinks of how that outcome in life would have looked like too  |
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"I do not live in the past but do regret wasting 20yrs of my life in an unhappy relationship. I only started to live and be myself again once I left."
Definitely understand this feeling I was 12 years in a relationship where I lost myself and do regret some things but I could the two best things in my life from it so not sure regret is right word….im still on the journey I guess! |
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"I have a sign just inside my front door that says "You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending".
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Love this!!
I'm a firm believer in regret some of the things you did, but never regret the things you didn't. ...but ironically, I do have more of the latter. Not that I let them bother me, I very much live by that sign of yours Obi, even have a tattoo based on the same mantra to remind me! |
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By *vaRoseWoman 4 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
There’s a difference between carrying regret and being defined by it.
I’m very much a believer that you can’t change what happened, but you can learn from it. So yes, sometimes some quiet reflection is necessary. The thing is, it’s always easier to do with the full picture in hindsight. At the time, we’re all doing the best we can with what we know and feel.
For me, regret doesn’t always mean obsession or being stuck. It just means I care. I think it’s healthy to wonder about the other path. Not to torture yourself, but to understand yourself better. What mattered to you then. What you missed. What you got right. Using it to make better decisions for the future too.
So to answer your question, no, I’m not someone who can’t move forward. I do. I have. But that doesn’t mean I never look back. I just try to do it with curiosity instead of guilt. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
When I was young, I decided that I would live as regret-free as possible. Life is too short, and things that are done, can't be changed.
I failed. The older I get, the more my regrets eat me.
😪 |
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"I have a sign just inside my front door that says "You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending".
Love this!!
I'm a firm believer in regret some of the things you did, but never regret the things you didn't. ...but ironically, I do have more of the latter. Not that I let them bother me, I very much live by that sign of yours Obi, even have a tattoo based on the same mantra to remind me!"
Carpe Diem |
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I try not to live with regret, I find it drains me,to move forward it's better to learn from my choices rather than regret them.
As said above self reflection is something I do to understand where I can make better choices in life.
Everyday is a school day and we live and learn through life. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I have a sign just inside my front door that says "You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending".
Love this!!
I'm a firm believer in regret some of the things you did, but never regret the things you didn't. ...but ironically, I do have more of the latter. Not that I let them bother me, I very much live by that sign of yours Obi, even have a tattoo based on the same mantra to remind me!"
Yep! Sometimes we're the architects of our own misfortunes, but if you learn from the bad stuff, evolve and change, then the hope is that it doesn't happen again. And despite your best efforts in life many things that happen do so at the behest of, and because of, other people. You can't control or avoid that.
Life often gives you lemons. Either make lemonade or crack open the gin and get slicing.
Regret is sometimes natural and unavoidable. But don't let it shape your future. What's done is done. Just move on. 🤷♂️ |
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I regret studying business management.
I should have picked law or classics.
I then regret wasting my time applying for "graduate careers" when I should have been using them skills on the job at an NGO charity.
But at that age I didn't have the guidance I needed.
So I started my 20s as a wage wagie. Everyone my age knows hard work in a job is pointless and the system is rigged. |
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"There’s a difference between carrying regret and being defined by it.
I’m very much a believer that you can’t change what happened, but you can learn from it. So yes, sometimes some quiet reflection is necessary. The thing is, it’s always easier to do with the full picture in hindsight. At the time, we’re all doing the best we can with what we know and feel.
For me, regret doesn’t always mean obsession or being stuck. It just means I care. I think it’s healthy to wonder about the other path. Not to torture yourself, but to understand yourself better. What mattered to you then. What you missed. What you got right. Using it to make better decisions for the future too.
So to answer your question, no, I’m not someone who can’t move forward. I do. I have. But that doesn’t mean I never look back. I just try to do it with curiosity instead of guilt."
We think exactly the same way...learn and move on better rather than dwell on the past.... |
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I think reflecting on the choices we made and perhaps revising our beliefs and values, so that we make better choices for ourselves in the future is a fundamental learning process.
Dwelling and wallowing in the past isn't usually helpful, but at times it's being human. Sometimes things happen in life and it's hard to let go of. I'll alway regret that I didn't press my wife to go to the GP the day before. Do I wallow in self-blame everyday, nope - but it will always be a regret. |
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"I do not live in the past but do regret wasting 20yrs of my life in an unhappy relationship. I only started to live and be myself again once I left."
So glad you have found fun and happiness at last!! |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 4 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"If you live in regret it will eat you alive. Better to look at past mistakes and failures as teaching moments and learn not to make the same mistakes."
Yes, if you live in regret, it will eat you alive too  |
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"I live in Leeds but I have passed through regret on a few occasions. Not nice to visit and not a place to stay."
The worst is when there's a bus replacement service that stops at Gulit, Shame and Sorrow. |
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I don't live in regret, but I can dwell on often trivial things if I let myself (if the mood strikes me, I can still kick myself for doing certain A-levels!), so I try to snap myself out of it. If you can't change it, not a lot of point worrying about it. |
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By *eliWoman 4 weeks ago
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I don't live in regret, no. It's healthy* to take accountability, to own fuck ups and I try to do that. If I've messed up I'll regret it at the time, work out how to make things right/not repeat again and then move on.
I don’t like repeating mistakes.
It doesn't mean forgetting but it does mean not allowing regret to be your Northstar.
*maybe not healthy but I think increasingly in today's society people don't want to. It's easier to ignore or blame everyone but yourself. |
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There are quite a few things in my life i do regret when i was younger, at the same time i don't waste time these days thinking about them. I learned to forgive myself and move on, I just tend to live in the present more too than look too far ahead. |
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I'd say we all do to some extent. If we didn't it would imply we never learn or never strive to improve ourselves. It's not completely black and white either, like you might regret and aspect of something, but not another, like I should have picked a better career choice earlier in life, but then I wouldn't have met the people I did. |
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