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What surprised you most about swinging?
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So here’s a question what’s something that totally caught you off guard when you got into the lifestyle?
Could be something you loved that you didn’t expect… or something a bit weird or awkward that threw you off at first.
Maybe it changed how you see sex or relationships. Maybe it was just a funny night you still laugh about.
Whatever it is, drop it below. Curious to see what’s surprised other people especially the stuff no one really tells you at the start.
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How much I enjoy being watched when I'm horny
How "normal" so many people who go to swingers clubs are
How many genuine great friends I would make
How judgemental people in the swinger community can be
How hypocritical some people are |
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To be honest, the thing that most surprised me when I first started was how many women wanted to have sex with me.
Now the thing that surprises me is that I have a romantic partner who is on this journey with me. |
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I'm surprised by the level of risk people are happy to take.
The amount of unsafe sex, the amount of people who are married, the wife doesn't know yet they send a local person a photo of themselves in the first message.
I'm surprised at how hard it is to organise anything ( mmf threesome)
I'm surprised by the difference between kink events and swing events.
Also find that swingers don't seem to stock to etiquette in the clubs either. Where as kink events they are very big on protocol, boundaries and etiquette.
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By *egnMaxCouple 17 hours ago
Nottingham |
The fakes, frauds and bad manners were definitely eye openers.
This site particularly brought home how difficult it is to find the right person but how easy it is to share intimate information with a total stranger.
The intelligence, humour wit and downright absurdity on the forum was also a total (and welcome) surprise.
Mr.
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By *idssissyTV/TS 17 hours ago
Nr cricket ground birm |
The assumptions people make
That anyone on here is always horny and always up for it
That if you are a sissy you are gagging for it
That if you are a sissy you sit around dressed waiting to be used |
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Having started a long time ago, before the internet, I think I am most surprised by, in my experience, meeting not getting any easier. There are apparently zillions more people in the scene but also a huge amount of frauds, timewasters and bad mannered people with unreasonable expectations. And lots of lovely people too, but then there always have been. |
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To be quite frank ,I assumed that swingers were all about the mystery of being with different people ..
But turns out a large majority want a small regular group of friends ..or even some who are here to find a relationship..
..
Perhaps I've been watching too many movies and a warped imagination. 😂🤣
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How it seems that almost everyone I am interested in are not looking for men.
And how most of those that interest me and 'are' looking for men, don't read my detailed messages, (which are always accompanied by clear recent face photo and the test word at the top of the message to prove that I read their entire and very very lengthy profile).
And how the very, very few that have read my message don't delete it and never get back to me. |
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By *egnMaxCouple 15 hours ago
Nottingham |
"How it seems that almost everyone I am interested in are not looking for men.
And how most of those that interest me and 'are' looking for men, don't read my detailed messages, (which are always accompanied by clear recent face photo and the test word at the top of the message to prove that I read their entire and very very lengthy profile).
And how the very, very few that have read my message don't delete it and never get back to me. "
We feel your pain.
We get a lot of that as a couple - though what we are asking for is very niche.
But hope springs eternal my friend.
And where there’s a Willy, there’s a way.
Max
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How much hard work it can be at times but that said been very luck met some wonderful people.
It does still amaze me how rude and hurtful people can be and those who take some proper risks sexually. |
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For me, the biggest surprise was how badly single men are treated both on here and in clubs.
I knew it wouldn’t always be easy as a single guy, but I didn’t expect the level of discrimination to be so open and accepted. Clubs openly charge single men way more, ban them on certain nights, or don’t let them in at all. On here, it often feels like you're judged before you even say a word.
What really gets me is how normalised it is. If this kind of thing was directed at any other gender, people would be up in arms. But when it’s single men? Somehow it’s fine.
From a legal point of view, it goes completely against the Equality Act 2010 yet it seems to just slip under the radar.
I get that not everyone’s into the same things, and everyone should feel safe and comfortable, but there has to be a better balance than this.
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What surprised me the most was I expected people to be open , honest and free......
Instead I found jealousy, bitching, comparison and cliquiness and the women were even worse.
I soon learned that you still have to sort folk into groups to find / form that group you enjoy being with n that's what I did n do. |
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"For me, the biggest surprise was how badly single men are treated both on here and in clubs.
I knew it wouldn’t always be easy as a single guy, but I didn’t expect the level of discrimination to be so open and accepted. Clubs openly charge single men way more, ban them on certain nights, or don’t let them in at all. On here, it often feels like you're judged before you even say a word.
What really gets me is how normalised it is. If this kind of thing was directed at any other gender, people would be up in arms. But when it’s single men? Somehow it’s fine.
From a legal point of view, it goes completely against the Equality Act 2010 yet it seems to just slip under the radar.
I get that not everyone’s into the same things, and everyone should feel safe and comfortable, but there has to be a better balance than this.
"
Why ? |
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What surprised us the most after attending numerous parties, club's and social events and just messaging in general how so many of them can't grasp the simple task of etiquette, respecting boundaries and just acting normal not some mindless wanking dead.
Just from our experiences, zero concept on how to approach and talk engaging in a conversation, hunting in packs ready to prey on their unsuspecting victim's 
Wankers alley at Eureka's.
And the other thing is:
People getting absolutely passing out drxnk at parties and clubs, not being in control of decision making and faculties in THIS environment is really a huge error in judgment,but the amount of time's we've witnessed women hardly able to speak is just really worrying considering our first point ^ .
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The levels that some are prepared to stoop to in order to remain relevant on this site in particular or to be associated with certain circles.
How much of it is really just a popularity contest and the degree of enabling of bad behaviour just to curry favour is off the scale at times. |
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"The levels that some are prepared to stoop to in order to remain relevant on this site in particular or to be associated with certain circles.
How much of it is really just a popularity contest and the degree of enabling of bad behaviour just to curry favour is off the scale at times. "
Boom! This... ^ |
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"How much I enjoy being watched when I'm horny
How "normal" so many people who go to swingers clubs are
How many genuine great friends I would make
How judgemental people in the swinger community can be
How hypocritical some people are "
I was also surprised at how much I enjoyed being watched |
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By *TinRedCouple 5 hours ago
Reading |
We were surprised at how quick this place can turn you off! Some of the pictures (mainly close up pics) give us the serious ick, and we can log on with bog plans of a filthy evening, then just just be completely turned off in a matter of minutes! 🙈 |
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