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The Fab Summer Tour Bus!
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
Right punks. I've had enough of reading of Damsels in distress and Chaps cultivating Baw Soup... And others living it up in cool flats and shady dappled spots.
So I've booked a 49 seat executive coach with 2 drivers from now, for 2 days.
Coach needs to be returned Thursday by 4pm. Clean. (🙄)
Skinted me out, so only supplies I can bring are.. slab of thatchers cider, a double pack of Jaffa cakes and half pack of Werther's originals.
We're starting in Truro now.
Who we picking up, and what you got 😁
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Well, thank goodness someone had the sense to get the Fab Tour bus on the road. Well done _hortie 👏
I've packed a massive picnic hamper of everyone's favourites and a huge icy cool box of varied drinks 🍸 🥂🍺🥃
So, as you're starting out in Cornwall, please can you ask the driver to head along the coast to Dorset 🙏 |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"When you reach Shropshire I’ll jump on board although all I can bring to the party is my naked self and a multi pack of Quavers.  "
Shropshire.. Shropshire.. AHH there you are. Probably tomorrow evening for you!!!
Mmmm quavers.... |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Ah feck it. You won't make it to the West Coast of Ireland 🥺
Have fun xx"
That... Actually gave me the sads  . If it's any small consolation, this is an executive coach, so has fab (ha) WiFi and a telly for live vid opportunities!!
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Well, thank goodness someone had the sense to get the Fab Tour bus on the road. Well done _hortie 👏
I've packed a massive picnic hamper of everyone's favourites and a huge icy cool box of varied drinks 🍸 🥂🍺🥃
So, as you're starting out in Cornwall, please can you ask the driver to head along the coast to Dorset 🙏"
👌. Bonus, you can pretty much decide whether you want front or back.. plus a clean seat (for now)  |
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"Well, thank goodness someone had the sense to get the Fab Tour bus on the road. Well done _hortie 👏
I've packed a massive picnic hamper of everyone's favourites and a huge icy cool box of varied drinks 🍸 🥂🍺🥃
So, as you're starting out in Cornwall, please can you ask the driver to head along the coast to Dorset 🙏
👌. Bonus, you can pretty much decide whether you want front or back.. plus a clean seat (for now) "
If you’re stopping in Dorset I’d like to hop on…I have rum….lots and lots of rum…. |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Well, thank goodness someone had the sense to get the Fab Tour bus on the road. Well done _hortie 👏
I've packed a massive picnic hamper of everyone's favourites and a huge icy cool box of varied drinks 🍸 🥂🍺🥃
So, as you're starting out in Cornwall, please can you ask the driver to head along the coast to Dorset 🙏
👌. Bonus, you can pretty much decide whether you want front or back.. plus a clean seat (for now)
If you’re stopping in Dorset I’d like to hop on…I have rum….lots and lots of rum…."
We're not far.. can stop at yours for an hour while we wait for any Brizzle lot to hop on too |
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"Well, thank goodness someone had the sense to get the Fab Tour bus on the road. Well done _hortie 👏
I've packed a massive picnic hamper of everyone's favourites and a huge icy cool box of varied drinks 🍸 🥂🍺🥃
So, as you're starting out in Cornwall, please can you ask the driver to head along the coast to Dorset 🙏
👌. Bonus, you can pretty much decide whether you want front or back.. plus a clean seat (for now) "
🤣 Is there a shower on board... or should I bring a bulk supply of wet wipes  😂 |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"I'll bring some cigars and some bottles of rum."
Any Montecristo? I love a pipe on occasion. I'm still devastated Dunhill stopped doing their Dark Flake.. the new Petersons iteration is nowhere near . ☹️☹️☹️ |
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"Well, thank goodness someone had the sense to get the Fab Tour bus on the road. Well done _hortie 👏
I've packed a massive picnic hamper of everyone's favourites and a huge icy cool box of varied drinks 🍸 🥂🍺🥃
So, as you're starting out in Cornwall, please can you ask the driver to head along the coast to Dorset 🙏
👌. Bonus, you can pretty much decide whether you want front or back.. plus a clean seat (for now)
🤣 Is there a shower on board... or should I bring a bulk supply of wet wipes 😂"
I'll bring the shower, plus a random selection of picnic stuff from Sainsbury's - wet wipes bad for the environment.
We're all goin' on a summer holiday
No more workin' for a week or two
Fun and laughter on our summer holiday
No more worries for me or you
For a week or two
We're goin' where the sun shines brightly
We're goin' where the sea is blue
We've seen it in the movies
Let's see if it's true
Everybody has a summer holiday
Doin' things they always wanted to
So we're goin' on a summer holiday
To make our dreams come true
For me and you
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it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering? |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Waiting eagerly with some ice cubes and chocolate syrup "
Hold off on those ice cubes til we're outside your door my man... Then HUSTLE your ass in here!!
But you with wet hands is all good too |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering?"
*STOP THE COACH*!!!!
FFS, yer lucky, we're in Dorset now. Hustle over and we'll all take a pee break |
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"it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering?
*STOP THE COACH*!!!!
FFS, yer lucky, we're in Dorset now. Hustle over and we'll all take a pee break"
Hurrah, you're here 👏 😋
Before we get going, does anyone fancy a quick dip...
...in the sea 😉🤣 |
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"Waiting eagerly with some ice cubes and chocolate syrup
Hold off on those ice cubes til we're outside your door my man... Then HUSTLE your ass in here!!
But you with wet hands is all good too "
Good thing I keep a towel on my rail . Anyone else need to wipe a wet surface? |
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"it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering?
*STOP THE COACH*!!!!
FFS, yer lucky, we're in Dorset now. Hustle over and we'll all take a pee break
Hurrah, you're here 👏 😋
Before we get going, does anyone fancy a quick dip...
...in the sea 😉🤣"
Damn - no swimming shorts.  |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Waiting eagerly with some ice cubes and chocolate syrup
Hold off on those ice cubes til we're outside your door my man... Then HUSTLE your ass in here!!
But you with wet hands is all good too
Good thing I keep a towel on my rail . Anyone else need to wipe a wet surface? "
I have an inkling, just a hunch.. there will be a lot of wiping on this coach. Despite the air con. |
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"it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering?
*STOP THE COACH*!!!!
FFS, yer lucky, we're in Dorset now. Hustle over and we'll all take a pee break
Hurrah, you're here 👏 😋
Before we get going, does anyone fancy a quick dip...
...in the sea 😉🤣
Damn - no swimming shorts. "
Well, you'd best ask _hortie first, but as we're so close, the driver could always make a quick detour to Studland beach ⛱️ No swim shorts needed there 😂 |
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"Well, you'd best ask _hortie first, but as we're so close, the driver could always make a quick detour to Studland beach ⛱️ No swim shorts needed there 😂 "
Ooo, yes yes! Can we go to Studs please??? |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering?
*STOP THE COACH*!!!!
FFS, yer lucky, we're in Dorset now. Hustle over and we'll all take a pee break
Hurrah, you're here 👏 😋
Before we get going, does anyone fancy a quick dip...
...in the sea 😉🤣
Damn - no swimming shorts.
Well, you'd best ask _hortie first, but as we're so close, the driver could always make a quick detour to Studland beach ⛱️ No swim shorts needed there 😂 "
I only arranged this.. never said I was in charge 🤣
Only saying that because the first few peeps brought rum... And I love rum...
*Hic*
I'm good.. I'm good...
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"it's going to take you a little while to get to Portsmouth if you go that far lol
but I'd bring along my mp3 and minirig speaker for music if the tour bus doesn't already have music on board, lot's of towels for people to use however they wish and a mix of sweets
is there a dress code for this gathering?
*STOP THE COACH*!!!!
FFS, yer lucky, we're in Dorset now. Hustle over and we'll all take a pee break
Hurrah, you're here 👏 😋
Before we get going, does anyone fancy a quick dip...
...in the sea 😉🤣
Damn - no swimming shorts.
Well, you'd best ask _hortie first, but as we're so close, the driver could always make a quick detour to Studland beach ⛱️ No swim shorts needed there 😂
I only arranged this.. never said I was in charge 🤣
Only saying that because the first few peeps brought rum... And I love rum...
*Hic*
I'm good.. I'm good...
"
I don't mind driving when you get here.
Then the rum is yours. |
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By *hortie OP Woman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
"
I don't mind driving when you get here.
Then the rum is yours. "
I hired 2 drivers with the coach . That's eggshactly why I'm getting sho pished.
I never shed I wush gonna be shenshibul.
I best go have a lil kip on the back seat
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"
I don't mind driving when you get here.
Then the rum is yours.
I hired 2 drivers with the coach . That's eggshactly why I'm getting sho pished.
I never shed I wush gonna be shenshibul.
I best go have a lil kip on the back seat
"
You can rest your head on my lap. |
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"I hired 2 drivers with the coach . That's eggshactly why I'm getting sho pished.
I never shed I wush gonna be shenshibul.
I best go have a lil kip on the back seat
"
how much have you drank already!?  or are you a lightweight like me? |
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"I hired 2 drivers with the coach . That's eggshactly why I'm getting sho pished.
I never shed I wush gonna be shenshibul.
I best go have a lil kip on the back seat
how much have you drank already!? or are you a lightweight like me?"
I think she's already asleep. 😆 |
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Sounds like all the rum is gone! Why is the rum always gone? ☠️ 🏴☠️
Ill get on in Reafing with a fresh supply of Rum, some cola for mixer lime slices and ice. Oh and some doritos and dips to soak up the rum. |
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"Get out of the south now and head north, if you pass through Manchester I’ll hop on with rum and crisps, maybe even a lollipop or two 🍭"
We're on our way...it's far too hot down here 🥵 We'll be needing those lollipops 😋 |
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"You past Bristol yet ?!? Don’t worry, we will floor it and catch you up... with a rucksack full of condoms, lube and wet wipes... and a cool bag full of ice... "
We'll ask the driver to slow down a bit.
Those boobs are worth waiting for... I mean the ice. |
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"Sounds like all the rum is gone! Why is the rum always gone? ☠️ 🏴☠️
Ill get on in Reafing with a fresh supply of Rum, some cola for mixer lime slices and ice. Oh and some doritos and dips to soak up the rum. "
Ill grab some more rum for when I get picked up. |
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"If you pop up northeast ill provide the twister mat and tequila rose
You just missed we have to turn around now. 
Ah never mind ill play on me own 🤣💪"
The bus is missing the baps so worth a U turn |
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