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The best joke you ever heard in your life ........
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Guy takes his wife to the Dr's after testing the Dr says we can't tell if its aids or alzheimers
Drop her off a couple of miles from your house on the way home just to be sure , if she finds her way home don't f_ck her |
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"Guy takes his wife to the Dr's after testing the Dr says we can't tell if its aids or alzheimers
Drop her off a couple of miles from your house on the way home just to be sure , if she finds her way home don't f_ck her "
2.75 |
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I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!
The Avon lady asked:
“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”
I answered:
“Take a fucking wild guess” |
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When we were younger, my not-too-bright mate was in the back of a car with a girl. Things got heated, and at one point she whispered, “Kiss and lick me where it smells…”
So he put his clothes back on, jumped into the driver’s seat, and drove her straight to Grimsby. |
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"I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!
The Avon lady asked:
“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”
I answered:
“Take a fucking wild guess”"
2.6 |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
|
Went to the doctors for a prostate examination yesterday.
Doctor says right Dave try not to get a hardon this time.
I looked back and worriedly said.my names steve.
He replied,yes I know. I’m Dave. |
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I used to own a horse named treacle, she had golden stirrups..she didn't go out much,she was a shire horse..that's 2 horse jokes on the trot....
Only Scottish folk get this one
Did you hear about the lonely prisoner? He was in his cell |
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A politician was visiting a remote little rural town and asked the locals what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs,” said the towns people.
“First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said,
“I have sorted that out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”
The towns people replied,
“We have no mobile phone reception in our town…...” |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 3 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Not a joke, but a routine.
The cop turned comedian, Alfie Moore's 'The head'. You might have heard him on the radio, but he's far better live and he has a closing routine about when he was called to investigate the discovery of a head. It's superb  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 3 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
A joke, this is from Tony Cowards:
'Blood groups, optimists, B positive, pessimists, B negative, fat fingers, type O and folk who live in the capital of Taiwan, type A. |
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"I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!
The Avon lady asked:
“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”
I answered:
“Take a fucking wild guess”"
Defo a 3!! |
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Next time you're feeling down remember life is all
about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much
he hates prison. |
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"I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!
The Avon lady asked:
“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”
I answered:
“Take a fucking wild guess”"
1.1 |
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"Went to the doctors for a prostate examination yesterday.
Doctor says right Dave try not to get a hardon this time.
I looked back and worriedly said.my names steve.
He replied,yes I know. I’m Dave."
5! |
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