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Are you a feelings person?
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Why do you think it's off putting?
Unless that person has a strict no feelings policy, which I think is impossible. We all have feelings. Doesn't mean we're madly in love, want their babies and to get married yada yada |
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I love a man who shows his feelings it's only off-putting for women who yiu are not suited to. The right women will appreciate it. So never worry about that.
I'm not one for showing my feelings that much but I can and I'm quite open when I do.
That's why I appreciate men who do.
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Yep. Probably too much so. I have no issues with displaying emotions and vulnerabilities, and feel privileged if someone is comfortable enough in my company to do the same.
If people are uncomfortable with that, or don't (eventually) open up in some way, then they're not my people. |
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"Why do you think it's off putting?
Unless that person has a strict no feelings policy, which I think is impossible. We all have feelings. Doesn't mean we're madly in love, want their babies and to get married yada yada"
My experience on fab has mostly been with women who are actively avoiding catching feelings. So the fact I don’t mind developing them and I’m quite affectionate too I think makes people not so keen. |
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By *IXEN200Woman 7 days ago
newcastle upon tyne |
I'm a feelings person, if it feels right I catch them too easily, I have however recently been told I need to keep my emotions in check, which being honest I felt quite upset by it. I used to hold my emotions in and hide them away, now I'm being told to control them so I'm rather confused 😕 🫤 |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them? |
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I think people who try to avoid feelings are ultimately kidding themselves. I understand people being afraid of being vulnerable. I understand why people who’ve been hurt and had awful experiences want to keep feelings at arms length. I think many people are unable or unwilling to look at themselves and acknowledge inconvenient emotions. Because it’s often easier not to, in the short term. But I think if we try to squash down or ignore emotions they will come out in other ways in the long term.
Mrs TMN x |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
Not sure exactly what you mean by "feelings" but I'm gonna take a guess and I think I might be what you would call a "feelings person".
Could I suggest the word empathy?
If I say some sharp words to someone else, afterwards I begin to worry about how I would feel if someone else had said those words to me.
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them?"
Possibly. I think some people may well think that.
Finding the balance is hard- telling someone you like them at the ‘right time’ is hard to know. Sometimes I won’t feel like I like someone after 4/5 dates. Sometimes you get that feeling after talking every day for a month.
Hmm that’s interesting.
But tbf - I’m pretty much ‘too much’ all the time. That’s my personality. |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
Yup... personally l think if a person has feelings they show that you're Human & understanding & to me that's absolutely fine. |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
Yes, though I try to keep them under control
Can get a bit sensual and intimate sometimes but I think I usually get away with it.
No complaints anyway |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them?
Possibly. I think some people may well think that.
Finding the balance is hard- telling someone you like them at the ‘right time’ is hard to know. Sometimes I won’t feel like I like someone after 4/5 dates. Sometimes you get that feeling after talking every day for a month.
Hmm that’s interesting.
But tbf - I’m pretty much ‘too much’ all the time. That’s my personality. "
Oh, I say Mr Pickle
Never too much.
They are not enough. |
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Yes, we both are.
There’s nothing more of putting than when someone states that they don’t do feelings, as though it’s a good thing that they’ve closed themselves off to the best things a person can experience, just because they *might* get hurt in the future.
Yes people can be assholes, they can also be amazing and wonderful. Life is a journey, why close yourself off from the best of it? |
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I understand there are folk on here who don't want to engage with the feelings of others and are just here for what they're looking for and I can respect that, but I'm definitely a feelings kind of person |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them?
Possibly. I think some people may well think that.
Finding the balance is hard- telling someone you like them at the ‘right time’ is hard to know. Sometimes I won’t feel like I like someone after 4/5 dates. Sometimes you get that feeling after talking every day for a month.
Hmm that’s interesting.
But tbf - I’m pretty much ‘too much’ all the time. That’s my personality. "
Ah, you’re just right for you. If people can’t handle you, that’s their issue |
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I feel a lot, sometimes too much. In lots of ways.
That doesn't mean I fall in love with everyone I have sex with. But I like to build connections and friendships with people even if it's not romantic. I care about people.
I'm good at respecting boundries however (especially in the swinging world), but find it much easier when people are open and communicative about feelings so I'm not doing mental gymnastics trying to work out what people want from me. When people refuse to acknowledge or talk about feelings as if they are a dirty word it makes things much harder. |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them?
Possibly. I think some people may well think that.
Finding the balance is hard- telling someone you like them at the ‘right time’ is hard to know. Sometimes I won’t feel like I like someone after 4/5 dates. Sometimes you get that feeling after talking every day for a month.
Hmm that’s interesting.
But tbf - I’m pretty much ‘too much’ all the time. That’s my personality. "
You are not too much Pickles. They are just not the right person for you. |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them?
Possibly. I think some people may well think that.
Finding the balance is hard- telling someone you like them at the ‘right time’ is hard to know. Sometimes I won’t feel like I like someone after 4/5 dates. Sometimes you get that feeling after talking every day for a month.
Hmm that’s interesting.
But tbf - I’m pretty much ‘too much’ all the time. That’s my personality.
Oh, I say Mr Pickle
Never too much.
They are not enough."
The Oh I say Mr Pickle made my cock twitch.  |
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Yeah, I'd say I am. I do wish I was a bit more stoic but I can be easily led by my emotions for better or worse. It doesn't mean that I love or hate very easily but when I know, I can feel those things quite intensely. |
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I am! 💯
But I have learned to rein them in- control them better as I used to get really upset if things didnt go my way 😂 … and in all kinds of relationships- friends, families, FWBs… not worth the aggro. |
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I'm just someone who people like to cuddle endlessly, and tend to meet those who are looking to unload their pent-up feelings along with more spurty stuff.
I have a couple of regulars whom are in pretty horrible domestic situations, and I've become a sort of sexual agony-aunt for them.
So I guess you can say that I've stumbled into being a feelings person. |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
I’m totally a feelings person and it’s off-putting (to me) if someone ISN’T. Be clear. Be real. Or be somewhere away from me 😘
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Getting feelings for someone can mean so many different things, for me it usually means just affectionate feelings towards that person, and I think we can have feelings for more than one person at a time. Some people think it means a long term monogamous commitment is wanted, when it couldn't be further from that...
Sometimes, if I have affectionate feelings for someone and all I want to do with them is fuck, eat, sleep and talk shit. I don't want to introduce them as my 'boyfriend' at a family bbq, or pick out matching crockery. |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
I have intense feelings with BPD/EUPD, autism and trauma.
This might put men and people in general off.
Which I think is fair enough because I can be unpredictable and hard to figure out.
I've very cerebral and an overthinker and I need a lot of things spelled out.
It leads to a lot of misunderstandings and triggers.
I need lots of clear direct communication and understanding in relationships and I struggle with my own communication and understanding.
Working on this takes up a lot of autistic spoons and makes me exhausted all of the time.
I've been single for nearly 12 years. I sort of radically accept it. My former husband couldn't handle my neurodivergent brain ( and turned abusive) and eventually I had about 13 professionals supporting me to keep me stable.
that's a lot for one person to handle and in some ways unfair to put that much pressure on them.
So I'm a solo polyamorous, nudist, kinky swinger. Mouthful.
Being solo and a nudist makes me practice self-regulating my emotions and thoughts by myself and with my therapists and peer support groups. Being polyamorous means no one man has the burden of being "my everything" and neither do I have to fulfil all those roles that people look for in a committed life partner, that quite frankly I don't have the spoons for.
Being kinky and a swinger means that I still get to practice my social skills and learn to work with other people's emotions, thoughts and bodies without putting a burden on them.
If it makes you feel any better, I put people off a lot so I spend a lot of time alone....or a in Fab forum bans.       |
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"I dont think im a cold person but I dont go all fluttery over someone. Not sure what that makes me"
I probably am quite cold as I'm autistic AND I don't like feeling vulnerable...and I can't afford to be emotionally vulnerable with my mental health any more.
I've very practical and can be mechanical about sex which can come across as cold but I just don't have the spoons for niceties and romance anymore.
That can make me more dominant and take control in sexual situations. I'm definitely no-one's fantasy. I'm too blunt and honest for that. |
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I would say yes I am a feelings person but I have only ever found one person I could have feelings with. Even without feelings I am very affectionate and loving and that can be to more than one person.
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"are you a feelings person - I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
.....
I most definitely am and I couldn't do what I'm doing without feeling something for the person I'm with, so thats the BF and hubby
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I’ve gone back and forth about this since I first saw it. I think I am a feelings person but that I’m more cautious about it because of my experiences. I don’t think that caution changes who I am though. |
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By *sWyldWoman 7 days ago
Edinburgh |
I'm very much a feelings person . I'm also sensitive soul who feels too much, thinks too much and has likely been too much.
However, I refuse to shrink who I am.
My heart has been broken, trampled on and completely shattered, as a result I now fear feelings, but they still can get through the cracks .
As someone else said, you're not ever too much for the right person. |
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I don't find it off putting at all. I love men who are so in touch with their emotions and aren't afraid to be open, venerable and show that to the world.
I'm a feelings person too, probably a bit too much. I feel everything so deeply, have a lot of empathy and I'm so open about it. I wouldn't ever want to close myself off. |
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"I'm very much a feelings person . I'm also sensitive soul who feels too much, thinks too much and has likely been too much.
However, I refuse to shrink who I am.
My heart has been broken, trampled on and completely shattered, as a result I now fear feelings, but they still can get through the cracks .
As someone else said, you're not ever too much for the right person. "
The last paragraph is beautiful ❤️ |
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I'm INTJ. We don't "do" feelings. Everything is internalised and stays there. That's not to say I don't have emotions. Of course I do. They are kept in the "attic of my mind" in neat little labelled boxes. I self-reflect from time to time and have a look at them, then put them back. I just don't have a need or desire to display them. If people want to know how I feel about something, I'll tell them. And I don't hold back. |
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"I don't find it off putting at all. I love men who are so in touch with their emotions and aren't afraid to be open, venerable and show that to the world.
I'm a feelings person too, probably a bit too much. I feel everything so deeply, have a lot of empathy and I'm so open about it. I wouldn't ever want to close myself off."
This for me too, i went through a period of closing myself off but I lost me, so I just let me be me feelings and all |
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By *arblerWoman 6 days ago
Southampton |
I'm very much into my feelings and empathy. It's amazing when this is reciprocated. I think the whole experience can be heightened. I've even had a few tears when a nerve has been hit but I've been very fortunate with the company I've been in and they've appreciated, understood and comforted. Likewise, I've done the same when they've felt vulnerable. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with this- we are human. Having an intimate sexual encounter can often be a stimulus that releases all sorts.....including several fanny parps xx lol |
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What the hell is a feelings person ?
Human beings have feelings - end of.
Emotionally mature and secure people understand what they are offering and what they expect. In effect a contract of a social sort if you will.
I show tremendous feelings to friends and family when it's required the rest of the time im functioning in society with strangers - do I cry undying love for them on the bus or desperately try to hold their hand ? NO! cos it would b e inappropriate wouldn't it ?
Generally people can gauge the 'other'. It's not all about us and what we want or feel. We look at the context - people, place, time, relationship type ..... keep your feelings in unless they are called for. |
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"I really don't see the point in being in a relationship if you can't express how you feel, it's sad to think that some people can't in relationships."
Hence why I've been single for nearly 12 years. Relationships are too messy for me. I don't like mess...autistic brain gets overwhelmed with mess. |
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Yes I get feelings as I need a good connection to have great sex.
Problem then comes when you have a fwb,who only sees you as for his needs only.
Sometimes I've had to walk away to protect myself from the hurt it can cause me. |
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"Yes I get feelings as I need a good connection to have great sex.
Problem then comes when you have a fwb,who only sees you as for his needs only.
Sometimes I've had to walk away to protect myself from the hurt it can cause me."
Exactly this |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Do you think they perhaps think you feel too much too soon and think you're love bombing them?
Possibly. I think some people may well think that.
Finding the balance is hard- telling someone you like them at the ‘right time’ is hard to know. Sometimes I won’t feel like I like someone after 4/5 dates. Sometimes you get that feeling after talking every day for a month.
Hmm that’s interesting.
But tbf - I’m pretty much ‘too much’ all the time. That’s my personality.
Oh, I say Mr Pickle
Never too much.
They are not enough.
The Oh I say Mr Pickle made my cock twitch. "
Oh,I say Mr Pickle.
The stuff of dreams |
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"What the hell is a feelings person ?
Human beings have feelings - end of.
Emotionally mature and secure people understand what they are offering and what they expect. In effect a contract of a social sort if you will.
I show tremendous feelings to friends and family when it's required the rest of the time im functioning in society with strangers - do I cry undying love for them on the bus or desperately try to hold their hand ? NO! cos it would b e inappropriate wouldn't it ?
Generally people can gauge the 'other'. It's not all about us and what we want or feel. We look at the context - people, place, time, relationship type ..... keep your feelings in unless they are called for. "
I can introduce you to an ex who was super intelligent but emotionally bereft.
Really just toyed with me and friends.
However , recently been in touch after twenty two years reminiscing over the sex but no mention of my feelings or that I was in love and they knew that.
I'm not so sure that we all have similar feelings |
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By *assy69Man 5 days ago
sussex and Wales |
"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
I do feel things, but I suffer with Alexithymia so trying to identify, or explain how I feel is incredibly difficult for me, well, more than incredibly difficult |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person? "
Feelings can be fleeting, but the memory of great oral lasts forever  |
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"I am a feelings person and I think it’s rather off putting for most of the women I encounter in my life.
Are you a feelings person?
Feelings can be fleeting, but the memory of great oral lasts forever "
Apparently so.
More than twenty two years memorable according to the ex.
I didn't think it would be that good. |
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Feelings are not bad things.
fair enough