FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is voyeurism dead now at clubs?
Is voyeurism dead now at clubs?
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Full disclosure, I have a massive kink for voyeurism and watching others. Nothing is hotter and particularly if you have eye contact with the person enjoying getting fucked.
But more often than not at the past few club nights people are more inclined to go off to private rooms. Have the pushy wanking dead spoilt this for the genuine good voyeurs who are there respectfully?
Or are people just less into exhibitionism? In my early club days some couples loved to really put on a show.
Also is "liking watching" seen as shyness or being intimidated. I feel I am always having to talk/justify this whereas 10 years ago I didn't need to.
Welcome any open discussion about this with people with a pov x |
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I think in the few years we've been on the scene it does seem a little more reserved and tamer. Especially (in my anecdotal experience) amounst younger swingers who often seem the most reserved out of us all. And to be fair it's the older ones that seem to be responsible of the most filth (again in my anecdotal experience). But maybe I'm just getting older and not with the times.
However sometimes it is about venue, people and vibe too. We happily play openly. However sometimes there's just certain places, certain crowds or just knowing that one guy is there that puts you off. We're pretty experience and assertive but sometimes there's situations and/or people who you know are going to come over and either ruin your vibe or just be a pain. In such situations it's obvious that we're going hide away from that.
Mr |
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Thank you for this, this echos my thoughts and I'm not going mad. I hate to think I've gone all old and it seemed to be wilder in the 'good old days' but maybe it is generational.
I've been fairly regular at Ignite and a place local to me over the years and its definitely shifted.
My Unicorn is watching and playing a supporting role with a lot of couples with plenty of eyes and hands wandering and it seems the only way to do that is to potentially couple and do it behind closed doors, which takes some of the turn on away for me. |
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Just an observation rather than a criticism - your first post talks about voyeurism, your second post talks about participating and therein lies the problem of blurred / pushed boundaries and you have the answer of why some couples prefer not to be watched. |
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No you make a fair point. To clarify I have no expectation to participate and certainly don't have that need.
My use of the "my unicorn" would be to be even closer to the action but still not be an participant in the form of touching/other things. I think you can be a part of it all by being an active audience and as I said the eye contact is a real turn on.
My point was that fantasy is very much going to remain that as people don't play and mix in public spaces in clubs so much. Occasionally on a Sunday at Ignite but really depends if you have like minded people on the sofas.
Sorry if I came across contradictory.
"Just an observation rather than a criticism - your first post talks about voyeurism, your second post talks about participating and therein lies the problem of blurred / pushed boundaries and you have the answer of why some couples prefer not to be watched."
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The reason we haven't played in public spaces at the majority of clubs we have been to has been a mix of things. Nerves over body image, or whether having people watch will make us too self conscious and cause any performance issues, and of course the wanking dead. Although thats not to say it's only the men who can cross boundaries as there's been the odd woman who's done the same.
Gradually as we have been to more clubs the availability of lockable rooms and our growing confidence has meant we have played in some slightly more open spaces or couples rooms but we still haven't quite worked up to playing in fully open spaces in front of an audience. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 3 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"No you make a fair point. To clarify I have no expectation to participate and certainly don't have that need.
My use of the "my unicorn" would be to be even closer to the action but still not be an participant in the form of touching/other things. I think you can be a part of it all by being an active audience and as I said the eye contact is a real turn on.
My point was that fantasy is very much going to remain that as people don't play and mix in public spaces in clubs so much. Occasionally on a Sunday at Ignite but really depends if you have like minded people on the sofas.
Sorry if I came across contradictory.
Just an observation rather than a criticism - your first post talks about voyeurism, your second post talks about participating and therein lies the problem of blurred / pushed boundaries and you have the answer of why some couples prefer not to be watched."
One of my partners and I much prefer open play rooms.
But the occasional issue that puts us off is what you've just described.
Watching from a distance? No problem at all - crack on to your hearts content.
But more than once we've found single guys suddenly appear inches from our faces, arses, or other body parts mid play. That's completely disrespecting personal space and lacks any form.kf consent on our part. And this sadly doesn't just happen in completely open areas. It's happened in specific couples only rooms at clubs, where the club itself doesn't police entry to the room and despite huge signs on doors some men simply ignore them, assuming they'll be lost in a mass of bodies if any staff do pop in for checks.
And yes, sadly many men can't keep their hands to themselves either.
There's a massive difference between voyeurism and uninvited and unwanted participation. If more men knew the difference, showed a little more respect and understood the importance of consent, then maybe more couples would be happier playing somewhere other than behind closed doors. Its only takes one or two bad experiences to put people off the idea completely.
It won't stop us. But then we have no qualms at all about loudly embarrassing anyone who oversteps the mark and reporting anyone who gets touchy to staff. Which generally results in a swift ejection from the club for them and cancelled membership. |
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I don’t mind being watched and will play in open rooms but I do hate the creepy men who try and talk to you or invite themselves to get involved.
I like the room at chams where people can watch from above. That’s my shit. |
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I have to admit, I only play in open public spaces at kink events.
Swing ones I'll aim for either the voyeur room or the couples only room, but if neither are free then it's a fully private room for me. I'd rather give up the audience aspect than the self preservation one.
There does seem to be a lack of understanding regarding consent outside of kink spaces that makes me not want to do anything intimate where any old bloke can wander over and try it on while I'm distracted 💜 |
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Too many guys can't keep their hands to themselves, that's the issue. We were openly playing in front of two guys in a club, and of them thought it ok to just shove his fingers inside me, wrong, very wrong!
I swear the fella will lose his shit one day if it keeps happening, he's been quite calm to be fair, but that's why many won't do it these days. |
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We enjoy open play rooms but it depends on the clientele of the establishment.
The number of single guys that can't keep their hands to themselves has increased massively over the years. As a result the true voyeurs are missing out when couples like us take the fun to a private room. |
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Been watched at a couple only club night, then met them later in the orgy room. Heading to our first everyone club night and a bit nervous of this. We loved being watched for the first time. Would love to be a bit performative. But don’t want wandering unwelcome hands or anyone we haven’t invited to step into our bubble. |
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"Been watched at a couple only club night, then met them later in the orgy room. Heading to our first everyone club night and a bit nervous of this. We loved being watched for the first time. Would love to be a bit performative. But don’t want wandering unwelcome hands or anyone we haven’t invited to step into our bubble. "
Or even worse - their.....fluids.   |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"Too many guys can't keep their hands to themselves, that's the issue. We were openly playing in front of two guys in a club, and of them thought it ok to just shove his fingers inside me, wrong, very wrong!
I swear the fella will lose his shit one day if it keeps happening, he's been quite calm to be fair, but that's why many won't do it these days. "
It baffles me that anyone would consider this acceptable behaviour  Surely that's considered sexual assault? |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"Too many guys can't keep their hands to themselves, that's the issue. We were openly playing in front of two guys in a club, and of them thought it ok to just shove his fingers inside me, wrong, very wrong!
I swear the fella will lose his shit one day if it keeps happening, he's been quite calm to be fair, but that's why many won't do it these days.
It baffles me that anyone would consider this acceptable behaviour Surely that's considered sexual assault?"
Wrong emoji ! wasn't making fun of your experience x |
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"Too many guys can't keep their hands to themselves, that's the issue. We were openly playing in front of two guys in a club, and of them thought it ok to just shove his fingers inside me, wrong, very wrong!
I swear the fella will lose his shit one day if it keeps happening, he's been quite calm to be fair, but that's why many won't do it these days.
It baffles me that anyone would consider this acceptable behaviour Surely that's considered sexual assault?"
I would say so too. But it’s not the first time I’ve heard of it either 🤮 revolting behaviour and deserves being named and shamed between all clubs and refused entry. |
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"Too many guys can't keep their hands to themselves, that's the issue. We were openly playing in front of two guys in a club, and of them thought it ok to just shove his fingers inside me, wrong, very wrong!
I swear the fella will lose his shit one day if it keeps happening, he's been quite calm to be fair, but that's why many won't do it these days.
It baffles me that anyone would consider this acceptable behaviour Surely that's considered sexual assault?"
It is yes. Security at the clubs we visit have no patience and it's always dealt with quickly.
Thats our experience however. |
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Anecdotally open play has reduced in the past few years - at Chameleons Darlaston for example I was told it was very common for sex to take place in public areas, around the bar area for example but that things have become more ‘discreet’.
Desperate handsy single men / wanking dead who don’t respect boundaries have been blamed. 😔 Twats. |
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"Full disclosure, I have a massive kink for voyeurism and watching others. Nothing is hotter and particularly if you have eye contact with the person enjoying getting fucked.
But more often than not at the past few club nights people are more inclined to go off to private rooms. Have the pushy wanking dead spoilt this for the genuine good voyeurs who are there respectfully?
Or are people just less into exhibitionism? In my early club days some couples loved to really put on a show.
Also is "liking watching" seen as shyness or being intimidated. I feel I am always having to talk/justify this whereas 10 years ago I didn't need to.
Welcome any open discussion about this with people with a pov x"
We have no experience of playing at clubs but we do often play outdoors and love to be watched, and making arrangements to show off in advance often kills a lot of the buzz for us. Something spontaneous, somewhere discreet (with the risk of being seen ) works best for us.
We have never had a problem with men behaving inappropriately. (We don't consider them wanking while they watch inappropriate!) Moreover, many need re-assurance that it is okay for them to stay and watch. In our experience those who are genuine voyeurs, do everything they can to make sure the show is not interrupted (which often includes hiding to avoid being seen looking LOL. Some ecwn offer to take on the role of lookout so M and I can feel at ease and enjoy the sex.
We find so many who are voyeurs are very much put off by the current trend of naming and shaming on social media. No-one wants to appear on TikTok labelled a pervert.
Nor do we want to appear on a porn site, so allowing men to get close is a good way of making sure their phones are kept away. But having them close for some prolonged, intense eye contact is never a bad thing.
We did, however, find the conduct of the men at Ardeer beach to be disgusting and would never go back. They made me feel very uncomfortable even though they didnt even get to come close to me. And dogging....most men seem to forget it's consensual. Yet they complain fewer couples are willing to visit the dogging sites.
Cannot even remember if that's even relevant to the OP,but that stuffs been rattling around in my head for a while and it's worked its way out.
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By *teff_RedTV/TS 3 weeks ago
Greenhouse or northwich |
"Anecdotally open play has reduced in the past few years - at Chameleons Darlaston for example I was told it was very common for sex to take place in public areas, around the bar area for example but that things have become more ‘discreet’.
Desperate handsy single men / wanking dead who don’t respect boundaries have been blamed. 😔 Twats."
Unfortunately wanking dead ruin it, last time we went Chams I was fucking missis on round room centre bed she was on all fours head down when a guy walks up been wanking a slight distance away and cum in her hair and left sharp.. twat..
She refused to play in that room now x |
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We’ve been to several clubs where we’ve played on an open bed, very in the moment and then the next time you look up, some guys edged closer.
They’ll keep doing it when you look away, close your eyes or kiss, like you wouldn’t notice a cock getting closer 🤷🏻♂️
Other clubs have been fine and no ones obviously looking but some people spoil it for others.
K
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When I have been to clubs with a female friend, it is the 'wanking dead' who have spoiled it for us.
Some have a total disregard for personal space and were literally crowding around so close I could feel them on my back, and I swear hear them breathe!
This has been in a few clubs, but not all. It puts off to the extent that we generally go to a private room. |
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By *teff_RedTV/TS 3 weeks ago
Greenhouse or northwich |
"Anecdotally open play has reduced in the past few years - at Chameleons Darlaston for example I was told it was very common for sex to take place in public areas, around the bar area for example but that things have become more ‘discreet’.
Desperate handsy single men / wanking dead who don’t respect boundaries have been blamed. 😔 Twats.
Unfortunately wanking dead ruin it, last time we went Chams I was fucking missis on round room centre bed she was on all fours head down when a guy walks up been wanking a slight distance away and cum in her hair and left sharp.. twat..
She refused to play in that room now x"
For info - this is no slander on Chams could happen anywhere
We love the place.. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 3 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"When I have been to clubs with a female friend, it is the 'wanking dead' who have spoiled it for us.
Some have a total disregard for personal space and were literally crowding around so close I could feel them on my back, and I swear hear them breathe!
This has been in a few clubs, but not all. It puts off to the extent that we generally go to a private room."
This is what spoiled it for us, got so close they’re basically touching - made it very uncomfortable |
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By *r.ZeusMan 3 weeks ago
Basgiath War College |
I've experienced this once before at a club. I was enjoying myself with my partner, and while there were some onlookers watching from a distance, neither of us minded. But suddenly, someone came uncomfortably close, within touching distance while drinking a can of beer. It made us feel uneasy, so we decided to move to a private room. |
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Similar to many answers above...Years ago we used to openly play at clubs and found the guys were respectful and distances were respected, but lately there seems to be more fellas who feel they have paid a lot of money to get in (and they do) and expect a lot more than just to watch and their manners just go out the window... |
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As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent |
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"Anecdotally open play has reduced in the past few years - at Chameleons Darlaston for example I was told it was very common for sex to take place in public areas, around the bar area for example but that things have become more ‘discreet’.
Desperate handsy single men / wanking dead who don’t respect boundaries have been blamed. 😔 Twats.
Unfortunately wanking dead ruin it, last time we went Chams I was fucking missis on round room centre bed she was on all fours head down when a guy walks up been wanking a slight distance away and cum in her hair and left sharp.. twat..
She refused to play in that room now x"
grim. |
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When we’re in the clubs, we much prefer to play openly and be watched (it’s part of the thrill) and have on occasion had a guy up to the house to watch us. Don’t much see the point in going into a private room - surely it’d be the same as just being in your own bedroom but hey, each to their own. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 3 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent "
Wanking a metre away from us would be considered way too close.
You don't need to be anywhere near that close to watch. |
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I love playing in the open areas, like being watched. But "watched" in the true sense of that word, from a respectable distance, unless invited to get involved more. I hate it when men have to come within millimetres of my pussy or my face to "watch". Also, because I much prefer sensual play (massage, my spikey gloves, pinwheel, stroking with the flogger, kissing, fingering etc) rather than full on fucking, I've noticed people get bored very quickly of watching and go off to find some "action" elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent "
And it's comments like this why we don't attend events which let in single blokes. Each to their own but a meter away is way too close for our liking. |
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"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent
And it's comments like this why we don't attend events which let in single blokes. Each to their own but a meter away is way too close for our liking."
Sorry but it’s comments like this that don’t help the situation. I am not sticking my cock in the couples face, I am not touching with out asking, I am giving the couple an opertunity to see that I am enjoying the show and to invite me to join them. The couple are playing openly so in my eyes you are going to have to expect that people will watch.i am giving between 5 and 6 ft space
Would you do the same if a lady or a couple that were playing 2 ft away. Very much doubt it. Why don’t you just say we don’t go to single guy events because we are not looking for single guys not that single guys are getting to close. People have a preference for who they are looking for and have absolutely no issue with that.
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We like being watched at clubs, though usually look for a room with a stable door so we can close the bottom, as we don't like the men (nearly always the same background) who try to join in without even speaking. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 3 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent
And it's comments like this why we don't attend events which let in single blokes. Each to their own but a meter away is way too close for our liking.
Sorry but it’s comments like this that don’t help the situation. I am not sticking my cock in the couples face, I am not touching with out asking, I am giving the couple an opertunity to see that I am enjoying the show and to invite me to join them. The couple are playing openly so in my eyes you are going to have to expect that people will watch.i am giving between 5 and 6 ft space
Would you do the same if a lady or a couple that were playing 2 ft away. Very much doubt it. Why don’t you just say we don’t go to single guy events because we are not looking for single guys not that single guys are getting to close. People have a preference for who they are looking for and have absolutely no issue with that.
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We have more interest in single guys than couples.
But there's a sizeable difference between 1m and 5-6ft. The former is touching distance. The latter isn’t.
And trust me. People who are playing together in open rooms are likely to be more focused on eachother than anyone watching. Yes, we expect people will watch. But being the closest one means nothing and won't increase your chances of an invite to participate. The idea that it will is why you get several men jostling for position and moving ever closer in the hope that being the nearest will boost their chances. |
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"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent
And it's comments like this why we don't attend events which let in single blokes. Each to their own but a meter away is way too close for our liking.
Sorry but it’s comments like this that don’t help the situation. I am not sticking my cock in the couples face, I am not touching with out asking, I am giving the couple an opertunity to see that I am enjoying the show and to invite me to join them. The couple are playing openly so in my eyes you are going to have to expect that people will watch.i am giving between 5 and 6 ft space
Would you do the same if a lady or a couple that were playing 2 ft away. Very much doubt it. Why don’t you just say we don’t go to single guy events because we are not looking for single guys not that single guys are getting to close. People have a preference for who they are looking for and have absolutely no issue with that.
"
Wow |
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"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent
And it's comments like this why we don't attend events which let in single blokes. Each to their own but a meter away is way too close for our liking.
Sorry but it’s comments like this that don’t help the situation. I am not sticking my cock in the couples face, I am not touching with out asking, I am giving the couple an opertunity to see that I am enjoying the show and to invite me to join them. The couple are playing openly so in my eyes you are going to have to expect that people will watch.i am giving between 5 and 6 ft space
Would you do the same if a lady or a couple that were playing 2 ft away. Very much doubt it. Why don’t you just say we don’t go to single guy events because we are not looking for single guys not that single guys are getting to close. People have a preference for who they are looking for and have absolutely no issue with that.
We have more interest in single guys than couples.
But there's a sizeable difference between 1m and 5-6ft. The former is touching distance. The latter isn’t.
And trust me. People who are playing together in open rooms are likely to be more focused on eachother than anyone watching. Yes, we expect people will watch. But being the closest one means nothing and won't increase your chances of an invite to participate. The idea that it will is why you get several men jostling for position and moving ever closer in the hope that being the nearest will boost their chances. "
I think I said 1 meter to 1.5 meters which approx 3 ft to 5ft. I clearly said watch and not touch as well. First off all if it’s an open room that can have a closed door then I don’t even go in the room without asking
I am talking about couples playing opening on a bed or couch etc |
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Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣"
Just say would you mind moving back - most genuine people would just go ok fine and move back |
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣"
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"As a single guy that likes to watch I normally give a meter to 1.5 meters often more - space from couple playing openly. Yes I will have a wank especially if it’s an arousing play
I don’t join in unless invited, and yes post covid it does seam a lot of men think it’s acceptable to push in / past / touch without asking and it’s blimen out of order and spoils it for the rest of us
If a guy pushed past me then I say excuse me now as I am there first and I am being decent
And it's comments like this why we don't attend events which let in single blokes. Each to their own but a meter away is way too close for our liking.
Sorry but it’s comments like this that don’t help the situation. I am not sticking my cock in the couples face, I am not touching with out asking, I am giving the couple an opertunity to see that I am enjoying the show and to invite me to join them. The couple are playing openly so in my eyes you are going to have to expect that people will watch.i am giving between 5 and 6 ft space
Would you do the same if a lady or a couple that were playing 2 ft away. Very much doubt it. Why don’t you just say we don’t go to single guy events because we are not looking for single guys not that single guys are getting to close. People have a preference for who they are looking for and have absolutely no issue with that.
We have more interest in single guys than couples.
But there's a sizeable difference between 1m and 5-6ft. The former is touching distance. The latter isn’t.
And trust me. People who are playing together in open rooms are likely to be more focused on eachother than anyone watching. Yes, we expect people will watch. But being the closest one means nothing and won't increase your chances of an invite to participate. The idea that it will is why you get several men jostling for position and moving ever closer in the hope that being the nearest will boost their chances.
I think I said 1 meter to 1.5 meters which approx 3 ft to 5ft. I clearly said watch and not touch as well. First off all if it’s an open room that can have a closed door then I don’t even go in the room without asking
I am talking about couples playing opening on a bed or couch etc"
If a woman or couple are playing I can guarantee you I don't stand 2 feet away having a wank.
This and the example of the lady getting assaulted is what gives single men such a bad reputation. |
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"Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
"
Why should they go in a private room? Just because they play in an open space doesn't mean a man/woman or another couple can invade personal space or that intimate moment between that couple unless invited.
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By *bi HaiveMan 3 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable. "
We were definitely less polite on finding a single guy 3 inches from your face whilst my dick was in your mouth in the couples only rooms at Chams.
Maybe I should have just poked him in the eye with it. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ |
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable.
We were definitely less polite on finding a single guy 3 inches from your face whilst my dick was in your mouth in the couples only rooms at Chams.
Maybe I should have just poked him in the eye with it. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️"
Nobody needs poking in the eye with that |
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable.
We were definitely less polite on finding a single guy 3 inches from your face whilst my dick was in your mouth in the couples only rooms at Chams.
Maybe I should have just poked him in the eye with it. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Nobody needs poking in the eye with that "
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 not if they want to keep their sight ha ha ha |
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"Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
Why should they go in a private room? Just because they play in an open space doesn't mean a man/woman or another couple can invade personal space or that intimate moment between that couple unless invited.
"
What is personal space that is what I am saying, if someone can define a distance then fine but not one couple is saying what the distance should be they are just saying what it shouldn’t be and it’s single guys that are invading it.
Why should other members of the club have to give 10 ft of space in a club that may not have that space because one couple think that 9.5 ft is their personal space
I totally understand that people don’t want personal space invaded but like I think 5ft is fine, some others clearly think not and some others 2ft is ok and others want 10ft - how the fuck am I supposed to know how much room does a couple want. I don’t want to disturb the play to ask as that is not right either. Also what happens if a couple may want 2ft now, but 10ft tomorrow.
It’s clear that everyone has a different opinion on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Which I get.
I personally think touching without asking is not acceptable but I have seen it loads when a non sexual touch occurs between couples / women without asking as well.
|
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable.
We were definitely less polite on finding a single guy 3 inches from your face whilst my dick was in your mouth in the couples only rooms at Chams.
Maybe I should have just poked him in the eye with it. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️"
He was told multiple times though..... just not need for it, it's scary though because we may be strong and bold enough to tell them to pee off but a lot of people aren't. |
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable.
We were definitely less polite on finding a single guy 3 inches from your face whilst my dick was in your mouth in the couples only rooms at Chams.
Maybe I should have just poked him in the eye with it. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
He was told multiple times though..... just not need for it, it's scary though because we may be strong and bold enough to tell them to pee off but a lot of people aren't. "
3 inches and being told multiple times is out of order. That’s a no brainer and I would tell some one to more than pee off trust me. |
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"Full disclosure, I have a massive kink for voyeurism and watching others. Nothing is hotter and particularly if you have eye contact with the person enjoying getting fucked.
But more often than not at the past few club nights people are more inclined to go off to private rooms. Have the pushy wanking dead spoilt this for the genuine good voyeurs who are there respectfully?
Or are people just less into exhibitionism? In my early club days some couples loved to really put on a show.
Also is "liking watching" seen as shyness or being intimidated. I feel I am always having to talk/justify this whereas 10 years ago I didn't need to.
Welcome any open discussion about this with people with a pov x"
Last few times I've been at a club, we've both been disappointed that no one was around to watch, however, we always end up in the couples only floor as we get hassled way too much by single guys.
Like to be watched, but don't want to have a gangbang with 7 single guys.
Can't really win.
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"Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
Why should they go in a private room? Just because they play in an open space doesn't mean a man/woman or another couple can invade personal space or that intimate moment between that couple unless invited.
What is personal space that is what I am saying, if someone can define a distance then fine but not one couple is saying what the distance should be they are just saying what it shouldn’t be and it’s single guys that are invading it.
Why should other members of the club have to give 10 ft of space in a club that may not have that space because one couple think that 9.5 ft is their personal space
I totally understand that people don’t want personal space invaded but like I think 5ft is fine, some others clearly think not and some others 2ft is ok and others want 10ft - how the fuck am I supposed to know how much room does a couple want. I don’t want to disturb the play to ask as that is not right either. Also what happens if a couple may want 2ft now, but 10ft tomorrow.
It’s clear that everyone has a different opinion on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Which I get.
I personally think touching without asking is not acceptable but I have seen it loads when a non sexual touch occurs between couples / women without asking as well.
"
I fully agree touching without asking is not acceptable, unless you have consent don't do it whatever sex or status you are doesn't make it OK what so ever....
And why not ask? If you are bold enough to stand there and tug you're one eyed custard chucker watching a couple/couples having sex what's the issue just saying do you mind me standing here, it's great to watch? I personally think it's quite respectful and would rather that, than feel like i have "you" heavy breathing down my neck while I try and fuck my partner. |
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"Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
Why should they go in a private room? Just because they play in an open space doesn't mean a man/woman or another couple can invade personal space or that intimate moment between that couple unless invited.
What is personal space that is what I am saying, if someone can define a distance then fine but not one couple is saying what the distance should be they are just saying what it shouldn’t be and it’s single guys that are invading it.
Why should other members of the club have to give 10 ft of space in a club that may not have that space because one couple think that 9.5 ft is their personal space
I totally understand that people don’t want personal space invaded but like I think 5ft is fine, some others clearly think not and some others 2ft is ok and others want 10ft - how the fuck am I supposed to know how much room does a couple want. I don’t want to disturb the play to ask as that is not right either. Also what happens if a couple may want 2ft now, but 10ft tomorrow.
It’s clear that everyone has a different opinion on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Which I get.
I personally think touching without asking is not acceptable but I have seen it loads when a non sexual touch occurs between couples / women without asking as well.
I fully agree touching without asking is not acceptable, unless you have consent don't do it whatever sex or status you are doesn't make it OK what so ever....
And why not ask? If you are bold enough to stand there and tug you're one eyed custard chucker watching a couple/couples having sex what's the issue just saying do you mind me standing here, it's great to watch? I personally think it's quite respectful and would rather that, than feel like i have "you" heavy breathing down my neck while I try and fuck my partner. "
I get that, but I also know couples that don’t want to be disturbed. I mean I have asked before and I got told if we minded we wouldn’t be playing openly lol
I think it all comes down to preference and what people do and don’t like |
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"Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
Why should they go in a private room? Just because they play in an open space doesn't mean a man/woman or another couple can invade personal space or that intimate moment between that couple unless invited.
What is personal space that is what I am saying, if someone can define a distance then fine but not one couple is saying what the distance should be they are just saying what it shouldn’t be and it’s single guys that are invading it.
Why should other members of the club have to give 10 ft of space in a club that may not have that space because one couple think that 9.5 ft is their personal space
I totally understand that people don’t want personal space invaded but like I think 5ft is fine, some others clearly think not and some others 2ft is ok and others want 10ft - how the fuck am I supposed to know how much room does a couple want. I don’t want to disturb the play to ask as that is not right either. Also what happens if a couple may want 2ft now, but 10ft tomorrow.
It’s clear that everyone has a different opinion on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Which I get.
I personally think touching without asking is not acceptable but I have seen it loads when a non sexual touch occurs between couples / women without asking as well.
I fully agree touching without asking is not acceptable, unless you have consent don't do it whatever sex or status you are doesn't make it OK what so ever....
And why not ask? If you are bold enough to stand there and tug you're one eyed custard chucker watching a couple/couples having sex what's the issue just saying do you mind me standing here, it's great to watch? I personally think it's quite respectful and would rather that, than feel like i have "you" heavy breathing down my neck while I try and fuck my partner.
I get that, but I also know couples that don’t want to be disturbed. I mean I have asked before and I got told if we minded we wouldn’t be playing openly lol
I think it all comes down to preference and what people do and don’t like "
And by asking that question.... you got your answer 😁 so again I see no issue in asking the question in the first place 😅 |
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"Thinking about it I tend to go to club nights that there is a focus on open play and being watched so that distance is accepted fine. If a couple said please move back - I would have absolutely no issue with moving back just to make that clear. I would probably apologise as well. I have not got an issue with playing openly either by the way as long as people don’t touch without asking.
If couples want to really moan about people men/women or other couples getting close when openly playing go in a private room that js what they are there for or go to a club with more private rooms
The people I know that enjoy playing openly their issue is people touching without asking which is bang out of order!!!!! Yes I have seen that often, and also called it out at the time.
I am interested to know what is an acceptable looking distance 8ft, 10ft, 12ft - or does it depend if a couple, single female etc
Why should they go in a private room? Just because they play in an open space doesn't mean a man/woman or another couple can invade personal space or that intimate moment between that couple unless invited.
What is personal space that is what I am saying, if someone can define a distance then fine but not one couple is saying what the distance should be they are just saying what it shouldn’t be and it’s single guys that are invading it.
Why should other members of the club have to give 10 ft of space in a club that may not have that space because one couple think that 9.5 ft is their personal space
I totally understand that people don’t want personal space invaded but like I think 5ft is fine, some others clearly think not and some others 2ft is ok and others want 10ft - how the fuck am I supposed to know how much room does a couple want. I don’t want to disturb the play to ask as that is not right either. Also what happens if a couple may want 2ft now, but 10ft tomorrow.
It’s clear that everyone has a different opinion on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Which I get.
I personally think touching without asking is not acceptable but I have seen it loads when a non sexual touch occurs between couples / women without asking as well.
"
Most clubs I have been to maximise the play space so while yes, there may not be tonnes of room around, those I generally consider to be respectful keep to the walls. |
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"If I wasn’t nervous enough about our first club meet that isn’t couples only - I deffo am now! Better get a stick ready to push them back further 🤣
You will be fine.... just be verbally clear and tell them to move! Like obi said we love to be watched but wouldn't think twice to say move back, probably a little less politely actually 🤣 and report anyone being innapropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable.
"
Thanks. I guess I had a very different idea of what others would consider “space”. We’ve only been watched once so far but we were in an open play room and the couple gave us plenty of space and stood at the door and gave hubs plenty of eye contact (I couldn’t see much 🤣). They were rewarded for their respectful behaviour later 😏 |
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"Been watched at a couple only club night, then met them later in the orgy room. Heading to our first everyone club night and a bit nervous of this. We loved being watched for the first time. Would love to be a bit performative. But don’t want wandering unwelcome hands or anyone we haven’t invited to step into our bubble. "
Wow. I (Luke) would love to watch you! 😍 |
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The main thing I enjoy about sex in clubs is the exhibition side of it. I discovered I have a big kink for being watched when I'm horny, and especially open play rooms when surrounded by others having sex.
But some men don't understand how to behave. Standing too close, making stupid noises to get attention, completely ruining the moment by asking if they can join in and being pushy. It can absolutely kill the mood.
And don't get me STARTED on people sat/stood around having conversations about work, dinner, holidays in play areas when others are trying to have sex  |
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"We’ve been to several clubs where we’ve played on an open bed, very in the moment and then the next time you look up, some guys edged closer.
They’ll keep doing it when you look away, close your eyes or kiss, like you wouldn’t notice a cock getting closer 🤷🏻♂️
Other clubs have been fine and no ones obviously looking but some people spoil it for others.
K
"
Sounds like the Weeping Angels in Dr, except these are the Wanking Angels. |
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"The main thing I enjoy about sex in clubs is the exhibition side of it. I discovered I have a big kink for being watched when I'm horny, and especially open play rooms when surrounded by others having sex.
But some men don't understand how to behave. Standing too close, making stupid noises to get attention, completely ruining the moment by asking if they can join in and being pushy. It can absolutely kill the mood.
And don't get me STARTED on people sat/stood around having conversations about work, dinner, holidays in play areas when others are trying to have sex "
Or golf! Had that at Quest, we were in the dungeon area with my partner, having some fun, and some people just stood outside, chatting about golf! Seriously! |
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"The main thing I enjoy about sex in clubs is the exhibition side of it. I discovered I have a big kink for being watched when I'm horny, and especially open play rooms when surrounded by others having sex.
But some men don't understand how to behave. Standing too close, making stupid noises to get attention, completely ruining the moment by asking if they can join in and being pushy. It can absolutely kill the mood.
And don't get me STARTED on people sat/stood around having conversations about work, dinner, holidays in play areas when others are trying to have sex
Or golf! Had that at Quest, we were in the dungeon area with my partner, having some fun, and some people just stood outside, chatting about golf! Seriously! "
Arrrrgghh!!! Drives you mad 😖 just really inconsiderate of the environment and what is going on around them. |
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"Too many guys can't keep their hands to themselves, that's the issue. We were openly playing in front of two guys in a club, and of them thought it ok to just shove his fingers inside me, wrong, very wrong!
I swear the fella will lose his shit one day if it keeps happening, he's been quite calm to be fair, but that's why many won't do it these days. "
That's disgusting,
I was in a club once as a single males and was watching a very active couple,
The guy opposite me decided to try it on with the lady participant, and I quietly told him if he went 1 inch closer he'd lose the use of his hand,
The manager of the club was just round the corner, and said gentleman, was no longer seen.
What a prick he was, |
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This happened to us also, a couple came up next to us as we were fucking and they started playing with each other, then the man started to rub my leg up, didn't ask..hubby went ballistic, some men just feel entitled 😡😡😡 |
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It’s, as always, about boundaries and attitudes.
My wife Kittydagger and I would happily fuck on a voyeur bed every weekend, hell every day if people (let’s face it, men) JUST watched. However, they always have to either offer a commentary or try and get involved! Plus they always wait to do it when I’m in a distracted position.
That’s what puts us off. |
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If they put different coloured lines on the floor (duct tape maybe) that correspond to coloured lights above the bed, the couple could choose the colour that corespondents to the distance they are comfortable with  |
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"When it's voyeurs who want to simply watch, I prefer when they watch through a window or sat on a settee at a respectful distance and can't distract from what's going on.
"
Exactly this xx
either find a partner yourself or watch respectfully |
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