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By *arbler OP Woman 2 weeks ago
Southampton |
"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status"
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important.  |
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By *dnxyzMan 2 weeks ago
LondonX |
"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important. "
Might be a pain.. may need "it" quite a lot! |
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By *arbler OP Woman 2 weeks ago
Southampton |
"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important.
Yes, I'm horny a lot of the time too
Might be a pain.. may need "it" quite a lot!"
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To me a fwb is someone you have sexual chemistry with but also get on really well as friends. Maybe common interests or just have a good laugh together. So you dip into both sides of that coin regularly  when I’ve had fwb in the past it’s been a literal friend with benefits so not all time together is sexual, sometimes just friends having a laugh together |
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"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important. "
FWB or FB are the same thing someone who have a mutual interest which to meet and have sex with each other because if it came down to it either one of you can and will leave the other if they wanted or needed to by mutual agreement that’s my thoughts |
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"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important.
FWB or FB are the same thing someone who have a mutual interest which to meet and have sex with each other because if it came down to it either one of you can and will leave the other if they wanted or needed to by mutual agreement that’s my thoughts "
I disagree. A FB places more emphasis on the Fucking while a FWB will place equally or more emphasis on the Friendship. |
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"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important.
FWB or FB are the same thing someone who have a mutual interest which to meet and have sex with each other because if it came down to it either one of you can and will leave the other if they wanted or needed to by mutual agreement that’s my thoughts "
A FB and FWB are very different.
To me a FB is just someone you call when feeling horny, meet, have sex and go.
A FWB is someone you have sex with but also spend time doing other things out of the bedroom which don't involve sex. |
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By *sWyldWoman 2 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
What Sparkle said.
Its easy to find a FB harder to find a FWB.
You suggest something other than sex and suddenly you are clingy, demanding or catching feelings. They often think you suddenly want a relationship. Nothing could be further from my mind, I just want some company to go for food or drinks or on an adventure. |
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By *agic.MMan 2 weeks ago
Orpington |
For me a FWB is a special type of friend...someone you can just hang out with (go for lunch, have drinks, watch a movie, go on holidays) and feel comfortable around regardless of the environment, but there is also an intimacy factor (and not just sex as with a fuck buddy) with both a physical and emotional connection during sex, where you can just naked cuddle after the session, rather than rapidly put your clothes on and make your gateway. The way I see it, a fwb is a person you easily could be in a romantic relationship with, but you both choose not to commit to that type of dynamic- it's also the reason these are so hard to find (and probably harder to maintain) as naturally they just progress in something that is so similar to a full on relationship, that it confuses either both or one of the parties... it either becomes a romantic relationship or ends in a heartbreak (for one or both parties). |
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Friends is the key word for me.
It's a friend that I fuck sometimes.
The friends I don't fuck aren't friends with benefits, just friends.
The people I fuck but don't really speak to outside of the booty call itself are fuck buddies.
The people who are friends with a similar outlook on sex and with a mutual attraction are friends with benefits 💜 |
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Fwbs are friends, genuine friends, who you sleep with. You might only sleep together occasionally but mostly you just hang as friends. But you are friends most importantly. You hang out without having sex. You listen to each other’s shit. You are literally FRIENDS who also have sex |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"For me a FWB is a special type of friend...someone you can just hang out with (go for lunch, have drinks, watch a movie, go on holidays) and feel comfortable around regardless of the environment, but there is also an intimacy factor (and not just sex as with a fuck buddy) with both a physical and emotional connection during sex, where you can just naked cuddle after the session, rather than rapidly put your clothes on and make your gateway. The way I see it, a fwb is a person you easily could be in a romantic relationship with, but you both choose not to commit to that type of dynamic- it's also the reason these are so hard to find (and probably harder to maintain) as naturally they just progress in something that is so similar to a full on relationship, that it confuses either both or one of the parties... it either becomes a romantic relationship or ends in a heartbreak (for one or both parties)."
This 100% 
And it's not always a negative if things do progress, assuming any feelings are mutual.
The acid test for many to distinguish between a FB and a FWB is if they're happy to be seen out and about with you in normal vanilla situations - drinks at a pub, meals out or even just shopping. The kind of things 'friends' do all the time.
Many will jump at a call/text/message for sex but suggest a drink in a pub where people will see you together and all of a sudden they're busy with an emergency or make excuses why they won't be free. 🤦♂️🤦♂️ |
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To me 'FWB' is a label that people use to absolve them of responsibility for the emotional well being of the person they're having sex.The number of times I've seen someone say they're hurt because their FWB has settled into a 'proper' relationship or is seeing someone else and it's blindsides them. In almost every case one person wants more.
It's a relationship between friends who have sex with each other and to me that's what any romantic relationship is. |
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"To me 'FWB' is a label that people use to absolve them of responsibility for the emotional well being of the person they're having sex.The number of times I've seen someone say they're hurt because their FWB has settled into a 'proper' relationship or is seeing someone else and it's blindsides them. In almost every case one person wants more.
It's a relationship between friends who have sex with each other and to me that's what any romantic relationship is. "
This. Couldn't have said it better myself. |
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By *agic.MMan 2 weeks ago
Orpington |
"To me 'FWB' is a label that people use to absolve them of responsibility for the emotional well being of the person they're having sex.The number of times I've seen someone say they're hurt because their FWB has settled into a 'proper' relationship or is seeing someone else and it's blindsides them. In almost every case one person wants more.
It's a relationship between friends who have sex with each other and to me that's what any romantic relationship is. "
I don't think a relationship between friends who have sex with eachother is a romantic relationship - for that you would need commitment (even if it is an open relationship)...and commitment is expressed both verbally and through actions. Also emotional responsibility falls on the individual (no one but you can be in charge of your emotions) and not on the partner ...the partner's responsibility is to be honest and considerate ... that's how I see it. Two emotionally mature individuals will have these difficult conversations, and not just assume or impose a romantic relationship on eachother, just because they are friends who have sex.. |
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By *TogMan 2 weeks ago
SE London |
"A FB and FWB are very different.
To me a FB is just someone you call when feeling horny, meet, have sex and go.
A FWB is someone you have sex with but also spend time doing other things out of the bedroom which don't involve sex."
That sounds about right for me |
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Depends on scenario. My twb lives 4 houses away. Strange really. More so he's hubby's friend. I know it odd  really. Was sooooooo hard the first kiss. Not like swingers. Strangers. Full on kiss it's different bi guarantee you xx |
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"Fwbs are friends, genuine friends, who you sleep with. You might only sleep together occasionally but mostly you just hang as friends. But you are friends most importantly. You hang out without having sex. You listen to each other’s shit. You are literally FRIENDS who also have sex"
Spot on and I'm lucky to have this  |
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How do u stop having feelings for a fwb?
I've had a few in the past,but the one I have at the moment has really got my feelings.
Think I may need to walk away to protect myself,even though the sex is so good.
Any advice would be good on this one.thanks |
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"How do u stop having feelings for a fwb?
I've had a few in the past,but the one I have at the moment has really got my feelings.
Think I may need to walk away to protect myself,even though the sex is so good.
Any advice would be good on this one.thanks"
The only feelings I have for mine are that I care about them first and foremost as friends (just like my regular friends)
I dont mean this harshly in any way but if you struggle to separate your feelings then maybe FWB's aren't for you as someone is undoubtedly going to end up getting hurt x |
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"To me a fwb is someone you have sexual chemistry with but also get on really well as friends. Maybe common interests or just have a good laugh together. So you dip into both sides of that coin regularly when I’ve had fwb in the past it’s been a literal friend with benefits so not all time together is sexual, sometimes just friends having a laugh together "
This definitely |
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"How do u stop having feelings for a fwb?
I've had a few in the past,but the one I have at the moment has really got my feelings.
Think I may need to walk away to protect myself,even though the sex is so good.
Any advice would be good on this one.thanks"
If its working for you then don't walk away. But if your feelings start to cloud your brain and you are overlooking red flags because of the feelings that's the time to walk away imo. |
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For me it is someone who is first and foremost a friend, you do 'normal' stuff together outside the bedroom, enjoy each others company just for that alone, however the perk is you also have chemistry inside it and enjoy each other there as well. |
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"What is your understanding of a FWB? When does a 'friend' class as a FWB?
I'm really intrigued to know people's thoughts about this. Thanks for your input. Xx "
I have one friend with benefits
We've known each other since we were 11. No we were not having sex with each other when we were 11.  Perves. I lost my virginity at age 19.
We are each other's emotional support even though we live 4000 miles away.
I wanna drag him to clubs here in the UK and in France and he's terrified. He's also bisexual and doesn't get to meet many hot men.
We would have a blast as we both like hot men.
So he's my friend first and my benefits second. Plus he gets a girlfriend sometimes so I back off the benefits and sit waiting with aloe and plasters when he gets burned by these bonkers women.
It seems he has a fetish for crazy women. Probably crazy men too. |
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"
A FB and FWB are very different.
To me a FB is just someone you call when feeling horny, meet, have sex and go.
A FWB is someone you have sex with but also spend time doing other things out of the bedroom which don't involve sex."
This is also my take on the key difference between the two. |
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"She mine you can talk to about normal stuff but who’s on the same wavelength sexually
Yes..I like that idea. That they are your kind of 'go to' for everything. "
Eeek. Austistic cringe at "go to for everything" Having been formerly married and in perimenopause, I no longer have the autistic spoons to be someone's go-to for everything and most men definitely cannot be my go-to for my mental health and autistic traits! When I need a sensory and perimenopausal break, I don't need a man crashing out, feeling rejected and pouting like a toddler because "I'm ruining their fun" because I'm not available.
Which is why I'm a swinger in clubs. I need back up and they need back up. Safety in numbers! I get a break ( usually in a corner with a G & T)and they can go off and play with another lady or 5 or how many ever. |
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"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important.
Might be a pain.. may need "it" quite a lot!"
needing "it" Quite a lot in my autistic brain is a fuckbuddy. Forget the friendly niceties and just fuck like rabbits.  |
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I may have several so-called FWBs, but when I was in hospital after the accident there was just one I contacted straight away to let him know. That sets them apart. To me being friends comes first.
It’s true what was said above- many men (and I suppose women) want FWBs but treat people like FBs. No thankz for me and I always tell them that after they contact me just because they’re horny. |
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"Someone who is there when you need it.. in that way, yes lol
Without too much attachement or desires to change people's status
Thank you for your thoughts. I think being there when you need 'it' is important.
FWB or FB are the same thing someone who have a mutual interest which to meet and have sex with each other because if it came down to it either one of you can and will leave the other if they wanted or needed to by mutual agreement that’s my thoughts
I disagree. A FB places more emphasis on the Fucking while a FWB will place equally or more emphasis on the Friendship. "
I'm still friends with my friend with benefits even if we are not fucking. He's not just a human dildo to me. I care about him and his mom and his kid and his other friends.
When he got Covid I rang up his other friends to go help him even though I was in another country. |
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"For me a FWB is a special type of friend...someone you can just hang out with (go for lunch, have drinks, watch a movie, go on holidays) and feel comfortable around regardless of the environment, but there is also an intimacy factor (and not just sex as with a fuck buddy) with both a physical and emotional connection during sex, where you can just naked cuddle after the session, rather than rapidly put your clothes on and make your gateway. The way I see it, a fwb is a person you easily could be in a romantic relationship with, but you both choose not to commit to that type of dynamic- it's also the reason these are so hard to find (and probably harder to maintain) as naturally they just progress in something that is so similar to a full on relationship, that it confuses either both or one of the parties... it either becomes a romantic relationship or ends in a heartbreak (for one or both parties)."
There is no way I and my friend with benefits can be in a realistic, committed relationship.
I'm a therapy advocate. He's like fuck therapy.
I'm a spiritual non-practising Christian. He's like fuck God. Lol!
I'm an ambivert/omnivert and go insane with cabin fever if I stay indoors for too long. He's like fuck outside. Lol!
Nah we would drive each other insane in a committed relationship. Pervy friendship works better for us. I've been single for nearly 12 years and he has had all manner of madcap girlfriends. I'm happy to step aside for his girlfriends as I don't live in the same country as him so they can do things for him more regularly than I can. I'm there when the breakups happen.
He's there when my lovers/playmates/intimate companions no longer see me. |
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I think both the people that I've had sex with recently (not that recently tbh) would consider themselves FWBs. But in reality one is more of a situationship and the other is more of a FB situation that I don't think I'm happy with. |
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"To me 'FWB' is a label that people use to absolve them of responsibility for the emotional well being of the person they're having sex.The number of times I've seen someone say they're hurt because their FWB has settled into a 'proper' relationship or is seeing someone else and it's blindsides them. In almost every case one person wants more.
It's a relationship between friends who have sex with each other and to me that's what any romantic relationship is. "
A relationship/marriage to me is a committed life partnership.
my friends bless them do not have to commit to going through the ups and downs of life with me. They definitely don't have to have kids with me or act as peace maker between me and other family members. They are not my next of kin and they are not who I would call in an emergency. They don't have to share finances and household duties with me. They don't have to care for me when I'm sick. or Vice Versa.
So my friend with benefits comes under this category. he's not in charge of my funeral arrangements. Lol! I'm not in charge of his!
I said this about one of my lovers once in his parents' garden. One of the family friends asked if I was the better half. I said absolutely not...I pointed to his male best friend about 10 beers deep looking ready to piss in the gladioli and said "that's his better half over there call him in an emergency!!" His mate was a barrister. Lol! |
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"To me 'FWB' is a label that people use to absolve them of responsibility for the emotional well being of the person they're having sex.The number of times I've seen someone say they're hurt because their FWB has settled into a 'proper' relationship or is seeing someone else and it's blindsides them. In almost every case one person wants more.
It's a relationship between friends who have sex with each other and to me that's what any romantic relationship is.
I don't think a relationship between friends who have sex with eachother is a romantic relationship - for that you would need commitment (even if it is an open relationship)...and commitment is expressed both verbally and through actions. Also emotional responsibility falls on the individual (no one but you can be in charge of your emotions) and not on the partner ...the partner's responsibility is to be honest and considerate ... that's how I see it. Two emotionally mature individuals will have these difficult conversations, and not just assume or impose a romantic relationship on eachother, just because they are friends who have sex.."
Where do I sign up for this level of emotional maturity from a man?! I can't promise that I will be emotionally mature myself, though...I'm still at toddler stage of autism diagnosis. |
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"How do u stop having feelings for a fwb?
I've had a few in the past,but the one I have at the moment has really got my feelings.
Think I may need to walk away to protect myself,even though the sex is so good.
Any advice would be good on this one.thanks"
1. therapy
2. thera... um bang other men so you don't hyperfocus and centre everything around just one.
3. find other hobbies so you are not spending all your time fixating on him
4. Move 4000 miles away. Lol!
5. have arguments about the existence of God or some other subject that you have opposing views on.
This is what works for me. Lol!
Feelings what feelings? I'm too busy for feelings. |
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"A FB can often become a FWB and social events , going to (the pub, theatre, dinner holidays together) can follow, along with the great sex. Mx "
That's never happened to me. All my fuckbuddies stayed fuckbuddies or nothing because as soon as there were any life challenges or emotional processing, they bolted...fear of me, I dunno, tying them down?, making them have feelings?, taking advantage of them?
A lot of people are fuckbuddies because they don't want to be attached in any shape or form or fashion. They have avoidant attachment styles. That's all they can cope with...very low levels of intimacy and connection and emotional processing. Keep things vague, shallow, surface level, calm. As soon as the boat rocks or you are in deep water, they bail. |
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"I think both the people that I've had sex with recently (not that recently tbh) would consider themselves FWBs. But in reality one is more of a situationship and the other is more of a FB situation that I don't think I'm happy with."
Screams in autistic brain at "situationship". Autistic inner toddler child hates vague indirect label of "situationship."
Please pick one label:
1. FB
2. FWB
3. Wants a relationship
4. breadcrumber/stringing you along and gaslighting you and manipulating you for their benefit
5. Neither of you knows what you want and just prefers to ostrich- head in sand and avoid all emotionally mature conversations for fear of consequences aka toddlers in need of self-parenting.
6. Lover/ Intimate companion/playmate aka We like fucking and doing stuff together and we can stick to basic boundaries ( kink, fetish, BDSM, Swinger rules) but we haven't got the capacity for commitment and responsibility, currently, in the near future or ever. |
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It’s like having a part time girlfriend or boyfriend for sex but not for relationships or anything deeper. On the other hand, it may well develop to something else. My wife would love to meet a FWB, however, men on fab generally don’t want this, preferring the fuck,go and ghost method instead. |
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The friend part of friend with benefits is important. With a proper FWB we hang out frequently doing non sexual stuff like go to gigs, festivals, cinema, out for dinner, we talk about non sex stuff all the time etc. I suppose in some ways it's like a relationship without the romance, commitment or expectations. A strong platonic friendship with sex thrown in maybe. |
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By *emma200Woman 1 week ago
Warwickshire |
"Friends is the key word for me.
It's a friend that I fuck sometimes.
The friends I don't fuck aren't friends with benefits, just friends.
The people I fuck but don't really speak to outside of the booty call itself are fuck buddies.
The people who are friends with a similar outlook on sex and with a mutual attraction are friends with benefits 💜"
This! 💯 |
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By *ike341Man 1 week ago
Leamington Spa |
"Friends is the key word for me.
It's a friend that I fuck sometimes.
The friends I don't fuck aren't friends with benefits, just friends.
The people I fuck but don't really speak to outside of the booty call itself are fuck buddies.
The people who are friends with a similar outlook on sex and with a mutual attraction are friends with benefits 💜
This! 💯"
Agree x |
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