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By *sWyld OP Woman 45 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Does distance put you off?
I get a lot of messages from people 100s of miles away and it seems a bit pointless. My days of trapsing round the UK to meet people are likely over. If someone from 100s of miles away wanted to come here it would feel like far too much pressure.
So what's the appeal?
I get it if you're planning to be somewhere but would you really go 300 miles plus to meet for a social only?? |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I've not travelled a long distance for a meet or social. But I may do in the near future 🤞
But if I'm messaging someone at the other end of the country it's not in an expectation of a meet, it's either to have some virtual fun, just chat or show some appreciation, because I like it when people say nice things about me, I assume others do as well.
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By *lassy2Couple 45 weeks ago
sutton Coldfield |
We travel a 400 mile round trip to someone we met on here, we have a great connection with them, it’s friendship now that’s foremost. They also live in a beautiful area so great for weekends. Distance no problem for us connection is key! |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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No, i’m not doing the Grand Tour of Britain for a pub lunch and a knee trembler.
In my late 20’s to mid 30’s yeah - had car, would travel. But no, not these days. Not for casual sex. For love? Maybe. |
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Totally, within reason.
We’re happy to do 50-100 to meet people half way but unless we’re going somewhere that happens to coincide with a fabber we’d like to meet then anything more is extremely unlikely.
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I'd never cross more than one county line for a social. I have in the past, and would again, regularly done a 400+ mile round trip to stay with someone for several days after weeks of chat. Thinking about it, she was the only person I've met in person as a result of using these forums. |
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Yes it would put me off. I really only have one free day a week and have no intention of driving long distances for a social.
I've found over the years on fab that travelling a distance creates expectations.
I've seen people say that those who did the travelling expected something for the effort they had made but in my own experience it has been the other way around.
I once drove 3½ hours to a meet and her expectation was that if I had done it once there was nothing stopping me from doing it every week. When I refused it created all sorts of drama.
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Anything more than an hours travel each way is putting a lot of stress on at least one party, particularly as you might not hit it off. I see the OP is in Edinburgh, I imagine there’s diminishing choices as you get further North than that |
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Yes, it puts me off.
When I get winks or messages from those absolutely miles away, I just think why.
I wouldn't travel miles for a social & like you, I wouldn't want anyone to travel miles to meet me, for what would just be a drink & chat initially.
I'd always feel like they'd want more than that, because they've travelled. |
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By *eliWoman 45 weeks ago
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Yes and no.
I think the appeal is that if the connection is strong/you really fancy each other; it's better to travel hundreds of miles than to settle for someone local. Or they've already messaged everyone in their area.
If I like someone and there's a good friendship forming, I'd be happy to travel up to a couple of hours. Whilst combining it with general adventuring.
In fifteen/twenty years I'll probably say fuck it and stay local.  |
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We’re in Cumbria, one of the least density populated counties so there is a distance expectation here already I guess. We travel for theatre, for healthcare, even for kids shoe shopping 🤣
Though people I’ve been chatting to who are further away, I’d sooner suggest a club night then if we don’t hit it off, there are other options for us and then 🤭 |
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"Does distance put you off?
I get a lot of messages from people 100s of miles away and it seems a bit pointless. My days of trapsing round the UK to meet people are likely over. If someone from 100s of miles away wanted to come here it would feel like far too much pressure.
So what's the appeal?
I get it if you're planning to be somewhere but would you really go 300 miles plus to meet for a social only??"
This is my dilemma. I don't drive, and trains/hotels are so expensive.
I don't know if I want to have sex with someone til I meet them, I need that spark you get when you see them in person. Even if I fancy them in photos, I might meet them and not "feel" it. I don't want to spend £70 on a train and then £100 for a hotel to get there and there's zero chemistry. And they might not like me either! It's a lot of money for a social.
And when they say it's fine, they're happy to travel, I feel pressure then. Like, it would be so rude of me to turn around after they've made so much effort and say "actually, I don't want to have sex" 🫣 if they are in my area for work or something, I don't feel the same pressure and that's fine. But if they specifically travel 100+ miles to see me I feel like there is an expectation it will be more than a social. And if we hit it off I'm happy to have sex. But I won't guarantee it.
I'm happy to travel when it's someone I've met before, for instance at a club event, and we know we fancy eachother IRL.
So yes, distance absolutely does put me off sadly. I've had messaged off profiles that intrigued me in the past, but when I've seen the location I've not pursued it as it's just too far. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Yes distance is definitely a factor on both couples and solo accounts. Unless we’re meeting at a club for social/play then doesn’t matter where your from but if it’s to house /hotel not traveling for miles |
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I get men contacting me from hundreds of miles away. It does put me off too as it feels like it's a lot of pressure.
I have meets and it's surprising the number of guys that get funny when you ask for a social first. |
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Distance is hard work, but sometimes it's worth it. We don't want local.
I wouldn't for a regular social, but we do for group socials and have met people to take things further with at those. I like the getaway, and to make a day/night of it with someone there's a connection with. |
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The distance I’d be willing to travel would depend on the level of connection. If there’s the opportunity to spend some time together outside of the bedroom and I really clicked with the other beyond the horizontal dancing stuff, I’d be happy to travel.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Distance didn't out me off, however there had to be great communication all the time, I've had a meet arranged on my previous profile I took the train from Nottingham to Scotland and they aired me. I will enjoyed my time up there, but was fairly annoyed I can't lie. |
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I'd like to say it doesn't put me off, but finding free time which could include 6-7 hours driving is difficult.
Especially if it's just a social.
There's a couple of ladies and couples I'd love to meet from here, but I need to finish my teleportation machine first.  |
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We will (and have) travelled a lot further for a 'play' meet than for a 'social' where if there's a fair distance we would expect to meet somewhere in the middle between us. If the other couple refuse that suggestion, then we'll just say OK and jog on... |
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I travel for work so occasionally pop up in unexpected places or end up being close to someone which makes a meet feasible. I wouldn't travel more than 90 minutes for a social unless the chemistry was off the scale in chats.
Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good. |
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"I travel for work so occasionally pop up in unexpected places or end up being close to someone which makes a meet feasible. I wouldn't travel more than 90 minutes for a social unless the chemistry was off the scale in chats.
Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good."
You never know where things may lead.  |
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I have travelled across the country before now - if I get on well with someone and I want to meet them, distance isn't a huge issue for me.
I will only consider travel if we've had a huge amount of conversation and we both think we'll have a good time in each other's company, even if sex is completely off the table once we meet in person.
My current FWB is based in London but we meet in hotels all over the place and we make it work. A lovely weekend away with a hot bloke and a heap of passion? Yes please thank you very much.
I tend not to meet people who are in my area for work as every time I do I regret it, plus I am looking for something ongoing rather than a one-off (which work travel tends to be). |
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I dont mind a bit of distance, gives me a reason to jump in the pride and joy and go for a drive. Ive done a few that have been 3 to 4 hour drives just for the meet.
This is why I like a good chat with people, to make sure we do click, last thing I want is to waste anyone's time. I also genuinely dont mind covering most of the distance either. Had some offer to get trains etc and meet half way but ill happily just do the full distance |
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"I travel for work so occasionally pop up in unexpected places or end up being close to someone which makes a meet feasible. I wouldn't travel more than 90 minutes for a social unless the chemistry was off the scale in chats.
Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good.
You never know where things may lead. "
What could you possibly mean by that |
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"I travel for work so occasionally pop up in unexpected places or end up being close to someone which makes a meet feasible. I wouldn't travel more than 90 minutes for a social unless the chemistry was off the scale in chats.
Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good.
You never know where things may lead.
What could you possibly mean by that "
Well....... errrrrm....... |
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The Fåb Curse™ has always been a spectre and a bane of my Fab life. Nearly everyone I've met have been 100s of miles away, far far away from London.
I'm ambivalent about this: in one way I'm not put off because the lure and attraction of wonderful conversations that I have (and the chemistry) gives me the 'drive' to venture further afield to make those physical connections.
On the other hand I'm becoming increasingly weary with the tedium of long distance engagements, the protracted planning, aligning diaries and the logistics.
Recently my job is requiring me to travel as far as Sheffield these days, not often, but enough to 'allow' the other person to meet me half way for a social or whatever.
It shouldn't be this difficult. |
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Distance shouldn't be a barrier, I've made good friends over the years. Some who I have never met, others who I have met socially while in their area with work with no pressure or expectation. I guess it depends on the individual |
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If I happen to be travelling near someone I'm already wanting to bone, fantastic, I'll do that.
But I'm not making a specific journey to meet someone I've never met in person before and don't know the chemistry with.
And I'm not going to start talking to someone based purely on them being conveniently located where I'm travelling to.
I don't want strangers travelling long distances to meet me because it does create an expectation of something being owed, and that at the back of my brain would turn me off completely. I also don't have any interest in being someone's convenient fuckhole when they happen to be travelling through the area.
For someone I'm really into, I'll travel 💜 |
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