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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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So this is an emotive topic and one I’d be interested in hearing thoughts on.
Mo Gilligan has been labelled a dead beat by the mother of his first child and he is currently expecting with another person.
Mo said he didn’t want the child. She said she thought he’d change. And basically he hasn’t been a present parent at all since.
There’s lots of debate about this stuff. If a man doesn’t want to be a dad, does he still have a responsibility to show up? What about the child’s experiences because of their decision? Is no dad better than inconsistent dad? |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Unless an accident occurred, he was most likely not practicing safe sex which he is responsible for. However, if a person states they don't want to be a parent and makes it clear the other person will be raising the child alone, then its that person's choice what they do with that information. If they choose to raise the child, then them not having a dad is a consequence of that.
Is he reckless and irresponsible? Yes. Is he a deadbeat? No I wouldnt say so. |
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My opinion is that one or both parents of this unfortunate child should keep their business private.
There will come a point in the future when the kid will see, hear and read what has happened.
I'm frequently saddened by the actions of adults that take little or no account of children's well being |
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I believe any parent has a responsibility to show up BUT previous generations of my family have been merchant sea farers and we're away for years at a time, during WW2 men were gone for years. I don't think it's frequency of presence but quality and consistency . |
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By *ookie46Woman 45 weeks ago
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They’re both responsible if he knew she wanted a child safe sex could have prevented the pregnancy however plenty of women say they’re on the pill etc when they are not
I think he’s irresponsible not a deadbeat as there’s nothing worse than a parent who doesn’t want to be in their child’s life, kids can sense this as I know mine certainly did
I’m more sad she’s airing all of this in public never understand why people feel the need to do this |
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This topic could have been discussed without naming anyone.
I don't know how old the people were when it happened and what talks they had and what decisions they made between them.
It raises an interesting point though. There are many women who don't want their children and decide to end the pregnancy. What does the father have then ? And if the woman does want the child and the man doesn't - what rights does he have then ?
The child's needs should come first regardless of what either of the adults think or feel.
They alone and together are responsible for what happened and need to step up. |
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I couldn't find any news on this. I searched a little harder and found a video by the mother.......
I'm not sure that what she has done and what she has said is in hers or her child's best interests either
It's pretty telling that she contacted the father's new girlfriend...... sometimes it's understandable why people keep their distance - people seldom check their own behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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I actually feel bad that it’s being aired and feel like it’s being done maliciously. However we’ll never know for sure unless she admits that.
It probably hurts that he’s having another child he plans to show up for. And I get why she’s hurt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I couldn't find any news on this. I searched a little harder and found a video by the mother.......
I'm not sure that what she has done and what she has said is in hers or her child's best interests either
It's pretty telling that she contacted the father's new girlfriend...... sometimes it's understandable why people keep their distance - people seldom check their own behaviour."
Agree. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"Unless an accident occurred, he was most likely not practicing safe sex which he is responsible for. However, if a person states they don't want to be a parent and makes it clear the other person will be raising the child alone, then its that person's choice what they do with that information. If they choose to raise the child, then them not having a dad is a consequence of that.
Is he reckless and irresponsible? Yes. Is he a deadbeat? No I wouldnt say so."
I think it’s tough. Legally a man has no rights over his unborn child and that is the right thing simply because it’s a woman’s body. However I do see why it might cause issue - if a man later on decides he doesn’t want a child he has no chance to change that where as a woman does. But that’s the game I guess. Wrap up is the moral of the story. I hate the idea of kids not having present parents though. That is really scarring. |
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If he's prepared to risk unprotected sex, then yes he should realise actions have consequences ie a baby and step up. To let it happen again, means he hasn't learned and is totally irresponsible.
If you don't want kids, then make sure you're taking precautions, she didn't create a life on her own.
I think she's a little unrealistic thinking he'd change too, as people rarely do unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I don't feel scarred.
Seems to be a modern thing - trauma / triggering etc ..... we just had life events and worked through them."
I think it’s dependant on the person. Not of the times. It’s of the times to talk about it. But absent parents impacting people isn’t new I’d say |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I don't feel scarred.
Seems to be a modern thing - trauma / triggering etc ..... we just had life events and worked through them.I think it’s dependant on the person. Not of the times. It’s of the times to talk about it. But absent parents impacting people isn’t new I’d say "
Perhaps it is. I haven’t read nearly enough psychology to know |
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